-You’ve worked your butt off for this. You will be fine.
-If you panic, tell an invigilator/teacher. They’ll know what to do. Sit at the front of the hall if you know you’re likely to panic.
-Sleep and eat. Your body will thank you and you’ll do better.
-Don’t talk about answers after the exam. That will stress you out, and then you’ll be panicked for the rest of the exam period. What happens, happens.
-What other people do is not important, as long as you feel like you’ve done all you could.
-Spend time doing things other than revising. Friends, family and pets will all be grateful and it will stop that pre-exam stress everyone gets.
Remember, if it’s an A* or a D, your grades do not define your worth. Do your best and remember there’s always second chances. I love you all.
It was one
of these days, when Bucky was full of rage. He recently has came back from very
tough mission in Eastern Europe. He has been sent to Nizhny Novgorod and he had
to invigilate the training of young Shield’s recruits.
brunette was at the gym, where he was doing his cardio training, trying to get
rid of bad emotions.
You went at
the gym out of pure boredom, your day was really boring, so you decided to go
there and do something.
shorts were all that you were wearing at the moment, you felt comfortable in
the gym and looked around, then you looked at Bucky and smiled at him. “Hey
This past school year I had 2 exams come end of year, math and English, both of which, my English teacher invigilated (sort of obvious with my English exam but whatever) and not once did I call her over to ask her a question to help with my work, during the English exam I asked her over to get me the art teacher so I could fact check something with him for the essay section.
Claire clicked her pen against the graffiti laden desk. Exam finished, she only needed to wait out another thirty minutes and she’d be free for another day.
Only three more to go, she chanted silently as her stomach twisted.
Gripping the edge of the small exam table, she dipped her head forward, placing her forehead on the cold wood.
The sickness had started only a month before. Claire had awoken, the grip of something painful rolling through her stomach as she’d dashed for the toilet, only just making it in time to lose the contents of her belly.
Since then, Claire had managed to control the vomiting. But now, under the pressure of one of her most important A Levels, the stress was making it hard to counteract the very pressing need.
Putting her hand up, she gripped her waist, struggling to subdue the urge. Her tummy felt hard, oddly so, she noted, waggling her fingers in an awkward attempt at getting the invigilators attention.
On seeing her, the older woman sidled over, a look of intense boredom plastered across her face.
“I need the toilet, please…” Claire begged, swallowing back the need to throw up over her completed paper.
“Can you not wait? It’ll be over soon and you’re free to go as you please.” The lady returned, clearly not wishing to accompany her at this late hour.
“Can’t.” Claire whispered, sweat gathering at the base of her spine as her stomach revolted quietly.
how about pynch where adam constantly steals ronan's clothes for barely existent reasons and has the most transparent excuses for it and everyone can tell they're ronan's clothes because they're too big on adam and fit ronan's punk aesthetic. bonus points if people at uni ask adam about it. love your writing :)
thank you so much!
first of all, I’m sorry this took a while but after finishing my last prompt I took a little break. second of all, for no reason that I can fathom I was a little flummoxed by this prompt. I had no idea how to write it to the point where I nearly posted this ask with an apology that I couldn’t do it. BUT I persevered and I’ve sort of picked at it to turn into something I felt I could write, so it’s not quite what you asked for but it does involve adam wearing ronan’s clothes and uni. I hope you like it! [read on ao3 if it’s easier]
(also to the other anons whose prompts are still in my askbox, I haven’t forgotten about you I swear, and I thank you for your patience!)
hello! as requested, here are a few tips on how to prevent/control nerves before an exam. hope it helps! :)
months and weeks in advance:
be prepared- the best way of preventing nerves is to actually study so you are prepared and can feel confident before an exam (obviously you can’t always feel 100% prepared, but having done a decent amount of studying definitely helps!!)
breathing exercises - I’ve never personally used these but I have friends who have tried them and have found them really beneficial. a quick google search can give you many different techniques so it’s worth doing your research in advance so you can practice and really master one technique that’s right for you!
make last-minute studying easier - making concise and good quality notes throughout the year means you have less work to do in the run up to exams and means you can really focus on quality revision just before exams. being prepared will definitely help reduce stress!
know the format - make sure you know everything about your exam; topics, format of questions, how many marks per question, types of questions, if you can choose questions, timings, equipment needed, etc. try asking your teacher to explain it to you and also make sure you complete previous years’ exams as practice!
a few days before and on the day:
eat right - try your hardest to eat well!! a quick google search can tell you lots of great foods to boost your brain power so you may want to try that! maybe give yourself encouragement by treating yourself to one of your favourite snacks the night before a big test! you should also definitely avoid skipping meals; you will seriously reduce your chances of success if you don’t eat a balanced and fulfilling breakfast or lunch before an exam!
drink water - stay hydrated!!!!! bring water into the exam if you can (but try to avoid drinking it all as this may make you need the bathroom)
make sure you have everything you need - pack your bag night before to avoid a last-minute rush before you leave home. double check with your teacher to see what equipment you need for the exam and also don’t forget things like a bottle of water, cereal bar in case you’re hungry, and an exam timetable or form of identification if necessary!!
why be nervous? - i always try to get myself into the mindset of “whatever will happen will happen!!” and being nervous will only make things worse! if you end up doing well then that’s obviously great. if you don’t, however, then it really won’t be the end of the world. even if you think the exam determines your future, trust me it won’t!! you’ll always find a way to work things out, no matter what happens so have a little faith in yourself!
give yourself free time - i love going for a run or jog during intense studying before an exam as it gives me time to forget, clear my head, and be free! make sure you make time for yourself to do something you love, even if you feel that you have endless amounts of studying to do as it’s crucial to let your brain have a rest!
sleep - please try to make sure you get a good amount of sleep before an exam! being tired will only worse nerves and make you doubt yourself more, not to mention decrease your memory! maybe try meditation if you struggle to fall asleep.
just before the exam:
check you have everything - do a double check that you have all necessary equipment and if you don’t, then ask a teacher or invigilator as they will have spares for you to borrow.
breathe! - give yourself a minute or two before you enter an exam to just breathe!! try to clear your head and calm yourself down. if you’ve been practicing a technique then now is the time to use it!
tell yourself that you can do it!! also no matter what happens in the exam, you will leave that hall in a few hours and can reward yourself, for example with some television or a nice snack! you just need to get through the next couple of hours and then it’ll be over!
i really hope this is useful and please feel free to add any of your own tips to this, and also message me if you have any questions! check out my resources page for more study tips and inspiration!
I was dating Adam Levine and we sat in an exam from which I later got disqualified because my real life boyfriend texted me and the invigilator caught me. And then we were in Adam’s cozy apartment and were making out.His mother flew all across Europe to come and drink tea at his apartment and was going to fly back to sleep at her place. Then my sister came in from somewhere and he kissed me funny and got arrested for doing it. One of the officers was Justin Bieber. He came in and kissed me as well, and we were going to be a thing.
Summary: You and your best friend Taehyung have recently got into the same
university in the capital of Seoul. Hoping that this was your year to finally
admit your romantic feelings towards your said best friend, uni seems an
exciting prospect. But of course, the future never really goes according to
A couple of weeks passed, and before you knew it, lectures
were starting and you had to make the daily commute to the university. It was
strange to see so many people in different years interacting, as you had become
accustomed to your high school never mixing class levels. However, you were
looking forward to not having to intensely study or take extra classes like you
used to, as the pressure from your parents was now gone, and freedom was
Clearly, I’m not the
only one who’s taking advantage of the independence, you thought to
yourself, as you spied a group of girls standing in a huddle, all wearing heels
and makeup. Eventually, after wandering around one of the buildings you found
the right classroom for your last lecture of the day. You scanned the crowds,
slightly thankful that Taehyung had decided to go for orange hair, as it meant
that you didn’t have to stand there long looking for him amongst the other
Both majoring in the same subject, it was nice to have your
best friend with you in such a foreign setting, although you were doing
different minors, yours about the Korean language. Although you were quite
confident with your current ability, you wanted proof on paper that you were more
than capable of speaking Korean. The last thing you wanted was a repeat of that
one job interview you had a few years back.
Sitting down next to Taehyung, you gave him a small smile
before pulling out your books, ignoring his questioning glances.
Unfortunately, Taehyung doesn’t like to be ignored. “Yah,
Y/N! Why haven’t you been answering my texts? There’s a new film out which I
really wanted to see with you, but you didn’t reply. We haven’t spoken in
weeks! Are you annoyed with me?”
The short answer was yes, you were annoyed with Taehyung. With
his happy-go-lucky persona, he sometimes failed to notice when you were ticked
off. Sometimes it wasn’t all bad, as all you needed was time to cool off and
sort out your head, and you could return to Taehyung with no feelings hurt.
However, sitting next to him before the lecturer arrived, you found it hard to
pretend that you weren’t upset. Taehyung had been sucking as a friend ever
since he met Yeji, but until that point, he hadn’t noticed that anything was
“Y/N? Please talk to me,” he asked quietly, his voice growing
more serious. “You’re not being your usual self, and you’re only like this when
“I’m frustrated,” you replied, through gritted teeth,
finally turning to face his way but keeping your expression blank. “You’re
struggling to keep your promises recently. It just… gets to me.”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung said straightaway, his eyes full of remorse
as he hunched his shoulders. “If this is about Yeji…”
“We’ll talk after class.” The lecturer tapped on her desk,
signalling that she wanted to begin, so you opened your books and pretended to
be extremely interested on the word she was writing on the chalkboard.
You could feel Taehyung shifting beside you, clearly
uncomfortable at how the conversation had ended. Your heart was beating a
little faster than usual, since you hated making Taehyung worried. He was still
your best friend, after all, and seeing him bite the inside of his mouth and
jiggle his leg out of the corner of your eye reaffirmed the fact that he was
getting upset, too.
While your teacher was still talking, Taehyung leaned closer
and whispered in your ear, tickling the hairs on the back of your neck and
sending warm shivers down your spine. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”
Swallowing painfully at the distress behind his words, you
nodded in reply, still focusing on the board in front of you. Looking at
Taehyung would only make you want to reach out and hug him close, but you
needed to sort this problem through with him first. Although to others it may
have seemed like a small misunderstanding, you felt like it was important to do
something before your friendship was damaged.
After a while, you became fully immersed in the lecture,
scribbling down notes as the teacher, Ms. Han, rambled on seemingly without
breath. So immersed, that you barely noticed the hand that lay around your
wrist, until Taehyung began rubbing his thumb against the material of your
jumper. Suddenly, you could barely hear what Ms. Han was saying, and instead
you became very aware of how Taehyung kept his head over his paper, his left-hand
scrawling across the page and his right hand continuing to hold the top of your
hand in comfort. It was a simple action, something that shouldn’t have made you
feel weak and shaken. Taehyung had done this many times before, either sat on
the sofa during your film nights, or falling asleep at the back of a car on a
But it was different now. Taehyung was with Yeji, and you
were supposed to be ignoring him. So, you withdrew your hand, shoving it into
your pocket. You saw Taehyung pause for a second, his pale orange hair flopping
over his eyes with his tongue peeping out in concentration, but then he continued
to write again.
After that, you found it impossible to think of anything
It was the day of the
Suneung – the exam you had been working towards through all of high school. If
you did well, you would be accepted into your chosen university in Seoul.
Although your parents weren’t too fussed about which university you got in to,
you knew Taehyung’s parents were keen for their son to do well.
However, despite this,
you felt the pressure of the big exam hanging over you as you and Taehyung
walked towards the exam hall, watching the rows and rows of desks get ever
closer. Your friend’s face was pale, and you were aware of your dark eyebags
that had formed from the sleepless nights due to stress.
“Good luck, Tae,” you
muttered, trying to calm yourself down.
“Good luck,” Taehyung
echoed. “We’ve got this.”
You felt Taehyung’s
hand wrap around yours, and without hesitation you held his hand back, gripping
each other’s fingers as if your lives depended on it. Although it was more of a
terrified reaction, you couldn’t help feeling reassured from Taehyung’s touch.
Knowing that the both of you were in this together made a lot of difference to
your nerves. You were a team, and you were going to give that exam your best
Other students brushed
by, but you fixated on Taehyung’s even breathing as he stood beside you, trying
to mimic the steady rise and fall of his chest to calm yourself down. Despite
only being a few inches shorter than him, Taehyung turned your head and lifted
your chin so you were looking at him, his eyes flickering between yours.
“No matter what
happens, you worked hard,” he said sincerely, voice deep.
He looked at you as if
you were alone together, with all the students around you invisible – and you
stared back, unintentionally doing the same. “You too, Taehyung. I’m proud of
toothlessly, his lips stretching across his cheeks. Simultaneously, you both
turned back to look at the exam hall, your hands still locked together. He
rubbed his thumb along the back of your hand as the invigilators called the
students in, reminding everyone that no mobile phones were allowed inside the
hall. You held on to Taehyung until you stepped through the door, right up
until the last second.
Filing out of the classroom, you waited for Taehyung to
catch up in the corridor. The hallway was almost empty by the time Taehyung
appeared, still stuffing books in his bag. There was a definite tension hanging
over the both of you, which was presumably the reason why Taehyung cut straight
to the chase, approaching you with a subdued posture.
“What’s wrong? Why are you annoyed with me?” There was a distress
behind his words, causing to guilt rip through your heart like slashes.
However, you were unable to form your words, not wanting to hurt Taehyung or be
“Because…” you said eventually, “you haven’t spent much time
with me since we got here.” Realising how childish that must have sounded, you
rambled on. “Every time we hang out, you leave me to be with Yeji. I know she’s
your girlfriend now, but I thought we were going to try to keep in contact?
We’ve been through a lot, Tae, so I don’t understand why things have to
“What do you mean, leaving you?”
“At the park, the party, the cupcake shop? I even came to
your house to talk to you and you went upstairs.” Was he really that clueless?
“Why didn’t you say anything? I thought you were happy for
You sighed, exasperated. “Of course I am, Taehyung. But
lately I never get to see you. It annoyed me, so I needed some space before I
spoke to you again.”
Taehyung’s nostrils flared, a sign that he was getting
upset. He turned his head away, eyes down and his Adam’s apple bobbing. It
accentuated his jawline, which did not help the situation.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise,” he said quietly, his
deep-toned voice unwavering. “I guess I was getting caught up. It’s all
happening so quickly that I barely had time to think. I was planning to ring
you that day, because I felt bad for leaving you at the cake shop by yourself,
but Yeji asked me out when we were at the park and I completely forgot about everything
The news that Yeji asked Taehyung out came as a shock, but
you kept your expression indifferent and stayed silent.
“I get why you’re frustrated,” he continued, finally turning
to meet your eyes, his dark brown irises captivating your attention. “I’ll try
harder to be a better friend to you, I swear.”
“You’re an idiot, Kim Taehyung,” you said, only
Although his mouth didn’t move, you could see his eyes
smiling as he knew his grovelling was working. “Do you want to hang out? I’m
free for the rest of today.”
“I can’t. I’m meeting Jungkook.”
There was a flash of surprise across Taehyung’s face,
blinking rapidly at this new information with his mouth agape. “Jungkook?” he
asked, slightly astounded.
“Mmm,” you hummed, deliberately not expanding further as you
enjoyed watching the dumbfounded boy.
“So… this meeting with Jungkook… you can’t even squeeze in a
You thought for a moment. “I guess I could…”
“I want to talk this through properly. You’re right, we
haven’t seen much of each other-”
Both of you swivelled round to the source of the question,
but the sinking feeling in your chest already told you who had come down the
corridor. As Yeji strode forward, Taehyung jumped back, putting more distance
between you. It was a subtle move, but it made you wonder if Yeji got jealous
about Taehyung hanging out with you, just like you got jealous of Yeji.
“Tae, where were you? You were supposed to meet us out
front.” She reached Taehyung’s side and linked her arm through his. When he
stared at her blankly, she raised her eyebrows. “My friend’s birthday party?
Did you not remember?”
You weren’t listening. She
called him Tae. It smarted you slightly, hearing the nickname leave her red
lips. It’s not like you gave him that nickname, but apart from yours and his
family, you were the only one that didn’t call him Taehyung.
“Come on, we’re going to be late. Sorry again, Y/N. I don’t
mean to be rude.” Arm in arm, Yeji pulled Taehyung away.
“Tae, what about-”
“Next time, Y/N,” he called over his shoulder.
If there was one word to describe how you felt, it would be
livid. Just as you were about to sort out your problems, Taehyung left. He glanced
back at you as he went through double doors, his eyes full of regret, and full
of apologies that you didn’t want to hear.
“1, 2, 3, 4,” counted Jungkook, watching you do a
complicated spin jump and landing neatly to move straight into another position.
You spun your arms round and kicked your feet out to the rhythm, ending on a
“Nice,” said Jungkook chirpily, while you panted from the
effort. “You’ve got a lot of power in your moves, although you tend to be a bit
stompy. I know it’s an active routine, but you’ve got to maintain fluidity
throughout. Once more?”
Nodding in reply, Jungkook reset the music to the beginning
and this time he joined in. You’d been at this for hours now, learning the
first part of the dance routine Jungkook had choreographed. The shirt you wore
was damp with sweat and your chest heaved, but you kept up the fast pace that
Jungkook managed to set, despite him looking hot and tired himself. He seemed
to have endless energy as he rolled his body and slid his feet across the
floor, which wasn’t surprising as the tank top he wore displayed defined
muscles up his arms and across his back.
You watched yourselves in the mirrors of the dance room that
Hoseok and Yoongi had showed you, a small sense of pride setting in as you
remained perfectly in sync. However, you noticed that once you reached the
jump-spin, Jungkook moved more swiftly and naturally into the next position,
whereas you looked jerky and unclean.
“That was good,” he said, once you both finished.
“Don’t lie,” you puffed, “I fell behind on the timing on the
Jungkook threw you a towel from a pile by the wall, wrapping
one round his neck. “Don’t worry, it’s just because I know the dance better
than you.” It was supposed to be words of comfort, but instead you found
yourself getting upset.
“I wasn’t doing it right,” you insisted. “Let’s do it
Jungkook frowned, walking up to you and placing a hand on
your shoulder. His chocolate-brown hair was plastered to his forehead and his
chest gleamed with sweat, but he must’ve still had energy as he pulled you down
against one of the walls until you were sitting side-by-side.
“What’s wrong?” he asked gently. It was the same thing
Taehyung had asked earlier after your lecture, but Jungkook’s voice was less
deep and had a certain mystic quality about it.
You shook your head, but Jungkook pressed on. “Is it to do
Hugging your legs, you tried to find the best way to explain
the situation without making you want to burst out in tears. “It’s not that
exciting,” you smiled ruefully. “He’s got… another friend that he prioritises,
and I’m being pushed away as a result.”
“You’re angry with him,” Jungkook stated. When you frowned
in confusion, he added, “You’ve been distracted this whole time. When you
dance, you’re acting like you’re trying to fight something rather than just letting
go and moving to the music. Aish, I’m sounding like Namjoon,” he laughed.
“Speaking of whom, is it true that you like Taehyung?”
“What?” you gasped, whipping your head round so fast that your
neck almost cramped. “How did Namjoon-?”
“Jin and Namjoon could apparently ‘just tell’, and when I knew
they were keeping a secret, I forced them to tell me. I can be pretty
persuasive.” He wiggled his eyebrows, earning a small smile from you. “So, go
on. When did you start liking Taehyung? How long have you been friends again?”
There was something about Jungkook that you knew you could
trust. Perhaps it was his age, as after being nosey, you’d found out that
Jungkook was also in his first year of college, whereas Namjoon and Jin were in
their second. Hoseok and Yoongi, too, were a year older, so talking to Jungkook
about your thoughts felt more natural.
“I moved to Korea when I was 12,” you began, starting to
reminisce, “which meant that I was starting middle school. Back home, I’d
already been in middle school for a year, so I didn’t expect there to be much
difference between here and there. But the schools here are unbelievably
stricter and education is practically cherished, so I didn’t know how much I
would struggle. To help me fit in, my parents placed me in mixed-gender school,
and that’s where I met Taehyung.
“My Korean was bad at this point, and I could only just
understand what people were saying. But Tae… he didn’t care about my lack of
communication. He did more than enough talking, for the both of us, actually.
He looked after me, helped me with my homework, and when we reached high school
and we worked from the early hours of the morning to late at night, he made
sure I ate well and took sufficient breaks.” Sighing, you looked down at your
lap. “He was always more than a best friend to me. He’s… special.”
It felt good to let it out. After so long of suppressing
your feelings, sharing your thoughts to Jungkook made your body feel ten times
lighter, despite the annoyance that still resonated in you from Taehyung’s
sudden departure earlier on.
“He’s special all right,” Jungkook chuckled, resting his
head on the wall. “But the Taehyung I know wouldn’t push you away. Granted, I
haven’t known him long, but he worships you. It’s always ‘Y/N loves this’ or ‘I
did this with Y/N’. Even now he’s dating Yeji, you’re still talked about every
You and Jungkook continued to talk for a while, discussing
anything and everything. Usually you would never talk this long to anybody
except Taehyung, but once Jungkook got started, he didn’t stop. The
conversation was only interrupted by a beep
from Jungkook’s phone.
“Aish, I almost forgot,” he said, standing up hurriedly.
“We’re supposed to be helping Jin cook tonight.”
“Oh, okay. Sorry we didn’t practice that much.”
“No, no, it was my fault. I’d better go.” He started shoving
his spare clothes into his bag, but he paused while holding aloft his sport
shoes. “Hey, Y/N? Why don’t you join us for dinner? It’s seafood night.”
You thought about it for a moment. “Will Taehyung be there?”
you asked nonchalantly, but it was obvious why you brought him up.
“He said something a few days back about a party, so I don’t
“Seafood sounds great.”
It had begun to rain by the time you reached Taehyung’s
house, going from a clear night to a heavy downpour in just a few minutes.
Bursting through the door, you and Jungkook stood in the entrance, soaking wet
and noses dripping. Although you were sodden to the bone, you both laughed at
your misfortune and began stripping off your jumpers and shoes.
“Did you have a nice swim?” Namjoon called from the sofa,
where he was curled under a blanket.
“Rub it in, why don’t you,” laughed Jungkook, throwing a wet
sock at Namjoon and causing the older boy to yell. “Jin, Y/N’s having dinner
Jin appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, drying up a
glass. “That’s cool. Okay, everyone to the kitchen!”
As you did as you were told, Jungkook decided to chase
Namjoon around the room, holding his arms open to give Namjoon a very wet hug.
“Stay away from me you animal!” he cried, looking slightly
terrified as Jungkook effortlessly ran him down and jumped on his back.
Entering the kitchen laughing, you rolled up your sleeves ready to get stuck
However, your smile faded as you saw your best friend seated
at the island in the middle, chopping vegetables absentmindedly. Taehyung
looked up and made eye contact with you, your bodies freezing simultaneously.
The laughter from Jungkook also died as he saw Taehyung, sliding off Namjoon’s
back and pulling his shirt straight.
You didn’t know how to react. There was still the anger
inside you from earlier, which was further fuelled by Taehyung looking back
down at the chopping board and continuing to slice onions, not even saying
hello. However, Jin, unaware that there was anything wrong, gave out instructions
to the remaining three of you.
“… Finally, Y/N, I want you cut up the fish,” said Jin,
handing you a chopping board and a knife. “Sit next to Taehyung and keep out
the way of the cooker. It’s going to get hot.”
Jin pulled out the chair next to Taehyung, so you had no
choice but to plonk yourself down, your body heavy. Taehyung’s eyes were
darting between your hands and his, as if he was scared how you were going to
Clearing your throat to break the silence, you asked, “So,
what happened to that party?”
“Didn’t feel like going,” Taehyung replied, sniffing from
the fumes of the onions.
“Ah,” was all you could manage. You didn’t know what to say
to him. Although you still wanted to sort out your issues, you weren’t sure how
to bring up the subject with Taehyung avoiding eye contact and Namjoon, Jin,
and Jungkook standing nearby.
Looking at Jungkook for help was no use, as he only gave you
an apologetic smile in return, leaving you even more unsure as to how to handle
the situation. Sighing, you turned to cut the fillets of fish laid out in front
of you, but as you reached for the knife, Taehyung lay his hand on top of
His eyes were watering from the onions, but the look he gave
you was sincere. “I know saying sorry isn’t enough anymore,” he explained
quietly, just about audible above the sizzling of the pans. “Which is why I
didn’t go to the party. I was planning to come see you after dinner and prove
to you that I do care for you, and I really didn’t mean to push you away like
that. It was wrong of me, I see that. Can we try again? I promise I’ll make it
up to you – I really promise. My promises have been pretty empty recently, but
can you trust me on this one?”
There was a silence following his words in which you both
stared at each other, trying to figure out what the other was thinking with
only the sounds of the other boys talking and laughing to keep you company. It
didn’t really take much for you to forgive Taehyung; more than anything, you
just wanted things to return to how they were before moving to Seoul. But was
Sure, you could forgive Taehyung, but it would mean that more
lies would be told just so that you wouldn’t ruin the relationship he had with
Yeji. It would mean hiding your feelings for a little while longer. Ignoring
Taehyung meant that you weren’t in danger of revealing too much, but it also
meant that you felt incredibly lonely. And you missed him.
There was a loud yell and a burst of orange from behind
Taehyung, cutting off your words. Namjoon had somehow managed to create a burst
of fire on the gas hob, causing him to scream and jump backwards, sending the
pan he was holding clattering to the floor. Although it seemed quite dramatic
in Namjoon’s eyes, the rest of you burst into floods of laughter as he stared
at the cooker with wide eyes, clearly traumatised.
“Namjoon,” Jin said, wiping a tear from his eye after you’d
all calmed down, “go sit this one out. You’re a fire hazard.”
After Namjoon had meekly left the kitchen, you all returned
to your jobs, but you noticed how the tension between you and Taehyung had
lifted, despite not openly stating your acceptance of his apology. Instead, you
smiled at him to show that no grudges were being held, and Taehyung’s face
split into his usual rectangular grin.
“Let’s pretend this never happened,” you muttered, unable to
keep yourself from looking pleased.
“What never happened?” butted in Jin, his eyes on stalks as
he stuck his head between you, purposefully being nosey.
Thankfully, Taehyung leapt into telling you a story about
Namjoon and the ‘shower incident’, disregarding Jin’s inquisitive looks, and
gratefully, you listened. There was no better feeling than to makeup after an
argument with your best friend.
The rest of the night continued the same way, Jungkook
laughing at the retellings of Namjoon’s misfortunes while Namjoon tried, and
failed, to defend his case. You and Taehyung joked around like old times, and
soon the night flashed by. The meal, mainly cooked by Jin, was delicious, and
afterwards you all sat on the sofas and chatted well into the evening, too full
to do much else.
You only became aware of how close Taehyung was sitting when
his head dropped onto your shoulder, eyes drooping shut and his breathing
becoming deeper and steadier. Having his fragile body cradled so close to yours
gave your heart a bitter-sweet relief from the constant string pulling it was
used to. Namjoon wiggled his eyebrows when he saw how snuggled up Taehyung was,
and you childishly stuck out your tongue in his direction.
“What? You two are cute,” he argued, feigning offence.
“He’s got a girlfriend,” you hissed, trying not to wake him.
“It doesn’t mean anything.”
But you couldn’t help wishing it did.
It was peaceful, sitting there with your friends, both old
and new. Jungkook was keeping everyone entertained by doing imitations, with
Jin’s laugh making it harder for Namjoon to draw breath. Subconsciously, you
stroked Taehyung’s hair as he slept deeper, his arm draped across your lap.
After a long day, it was a calming atmosphere.
The rain continued to pour as you decided it was your time to
leave. However, as you began shrugging on your coat, Jin appeared at your side,
holding up his car keys.
The roads were dark and quiet, the rain making the city
lights misty through the blurred windscreen. Jin tapped on the steering wheel
as he drove, quietly singing a song to himself. He had good voice, you noticed.
Strong, yet sweet.
“How are you keeping that a secret from him?” Jin asked
suddenly, eyes still focused on the road.
“What do you mean?”
“That you like him. It can’t be easy for you, pretending.”
You laughed, but it sounded odd to your ears so you stopped
quickly. Of course it wasn’t easy, but
when it came to Taehyung, you were willing to put feelings aside to let him be
“Do you love him?” Jin pressed, after you didn’t answer his
“As a friend, yes.”
“But are you in
love with him?”
Spinning your body round, you turned to face him, his
handsome features outlined by the street lamps outside. “Why all the questions?”
Jin just smiled gently, slowly shrugging his broad
shoulders. “I’m your sunbae, right? Therefore, as my hubae, you’re going to
need my advice. But you need to answer my questions so I can actually give you advice.”
To humour him, you thought deeply about what your true
feelings about Taehyung were. The butterfly nest in your stomach, the jelly
legs, the heart rate increase – wasn’t that all just infatuation? Surely it was
just a crush?
But then there were the daydreams about Taehyung, the urge
to hold his hand, the content feeling in your chest whenever he sat slightly
too close to you on the couch. The feeling of…
You opened your mouth to tell Jin just as he pulled up
outside your house. “I’ll walk you up the steps,” he said, completely unaware
of your reeling thoughts.
He used his coat as an umbrella for the both of you,
splashing your way to the front door, but you hardly noticed the water seeping
through your shoes.
“I know of the no boy rule in your house, so I’ll leave you
here. Night, Y/N.”
Bowing in farewell, Jin turned to leave, heading back into
the downpour. You watched him begin walking, but he stopped at the bottom of
the stairs, wheeling round to look at you standing motionlessly under the
“I know you love him,” he said matter-of-factly, a cheeky
grin on his lips. “Your expression when I mentioned the word ‘love’ was
priceless. One bit of advice: if you don’t want Taehyung to find out, work on
your acting skills.” Then, he was gone.
And you were left with that single realisation: you were in love.
My Father went to Cambridge in 1952 to do a PhD on WB Yeats, that great and renowned Irish poet and philosopher .. a 4 year course was completed by him in 2 .. and he got his Doctorate from Cambridge in English Literature, perhaps the first Indian to have done so. His thesis was called ‘WB Yeats and Occultism’ .. Yeats was a great believer in the occult and researched and studied a lot of it, which in turn reflected in his works .. my Father did his dissertation on the subject and came back victorious and accomplished to Allahabad, only to be almost derecognized by the authorities at the University ; a sad occurrence, one that filled him with immense disappointment and disillusionment .. he left the University and never came back to it ..
The book .. his dissertation published .. rare to find in any book store .. I intend to re publish it and bring it to the prominence it so richly deserves !!
…. and this a portion of the Foreword written by his Tutor at Cambridge .. not really Tutor, but a kind of invigilator who decides and passes judgement on his Doctorate ..
He worked round the clock in Cambridge, his College being St Catherine’s .. and during the times when he would tire sitting and writing and working, he would stand and work .. built a standing unit and continued working ..
The picture above of me is an inspiration from him .. and a lot of what I push through square tablets tonight, is being done from the elevated table that I have just constructed as my alternative working desk ..
Twitter and several Ef now inform me that the ‘standing’ work routine has been incorporated in most offices today, to prevent a sedentary existence for their work force .. !!
But my Father also had a ‘tipayee’ made .. a desk that is low and students sit on the floor, legs in ‘paltee maar ke’ position and studied .. his own ‘tipayee’ was left behind in our Allahabad friends place when we shifted to Delhi in 1956 .. and just recently, last year in fact, our dear family friend sent it back to us .. it now adorns my Father’s room in Prateeksha, among a few of his other memorabilia - a lot of which still remains in Sopaan in the Delhi house, but also among many of his trusted friends and people he cared for .. I try desperately to get hold of them in vain though .. most importantly I seek his drafts in pencil of his dissertation that he wrote and rewrote 7 times !! On returning from England I had excitedly asked him what gifts he had brought back for us from Britain ..
His stipends and his Scholarship given to him by the Government agencies for this doctorate, were suddenly and rudely discontinued, citing some very obnoxious rumour mongering ( a plague that has been a constant with the family ) by certain vested elements jealous of his appointment for the doctorate - my Mother having to sell off her scant jewellery to give him enough sustenance during those years !
So quite obviously our financial situation was a pittance ..
He had turned to me on my question of the gifts from England and pulled out those 7 drafts of his dissertation and said ‘this is the only gift I can give you’ !!
A few months back a close family friend and a student of my Father revealed through much desperate contact, that he was in possession of those pencil drafts and that he, now being ill of health, had given them to the Nehru Museum at Teen Murti, in Delhi for preservation. I am trying to get them out from there for our personal storage and preserve.
On many a day I feel orphaned by the absence of my Father’s works .. its relevance in its literary meanings .. its importance in its documentation .. and its preserve and its deliverance of the knowledge that it so rightfully and richly deserves.
I feel desolate in the complete loss of any education on my Father’s works, its values, its strength, its immense impact not just on me as an individual but for the society at large .. but I shall not sit idle .. I shall find the time and the meaning of what he should have been decorated with ..
The insecurity in the economic sustaining of us as a whole .. the responsibility of many as duty .. the vulnerable fear of defeat and failure .. of loss .. of departure from position to abyss .. cannot and should not and will not deter .. this is the game of life to be played .. and played with distinction and merit ..
INDEED .. !!
And quite by coincidence I reached across the desk to pull up a page from Father’s ‘Rachnavali’ - the compilation of all his works .. and a few pages DEDICATED TO LETTERS HE RECEIVED AND WROTE TO FRIENDS AND OTHERS ..
and I stumble upon this in a letter he wrote to another great Hindi poet, his compatriot and friend , Shiv Mangal Singh ‘Suman’ , where he has described another of his frustrations in the Ministry of External Affairs where he worked and summed it all up with :
“ मनुष्य के हित में है की उसे अपनी लघुटा का आभास होता रहे । इच्छित सफलताओं से मनुष्य का जितना ह्रास होता है , शायद उतना किसी और वस्तु से नहीं होता … “
it is in the interest of the human, to be aware of his paucity and be in its experience constantly. the amount of deterioration, abatement and decrement that ‘desired success’ brings upon the human, is perhaps incomparable to any other ..
A desire for success is a remaining factor in us all .. there is desire to succeed .. and so, does this desire for success be kept in abeyance for fear of its abatement if pursued constantly ..??
And does this not then commemorate the oft repeated :
मन का हो तो अच्छा । ना हो तो ज़्यादा अच्छा ।। !!!
I shall not exist in the realm of ‘desired success’ .. I shall embrace it if it comes, in value of recognition by merit .. a merit at times, in the deciding of many others who hold positions and voices .. but I would assume that my merit would be and will be judged by myself .. if not, then I do not hold capacity for decisioned judgement - for that would be a slur on any creative out burst ..
The feel for creative bursts are within .. they have already been mastered by the system insides ..
Would any other, ever, be given the authority to govern and establish merit above the ‘within’ .. ?
(Advice in this section can also mostly be applied to English Literature SL, Literature for other languages, as they have the same basic structure. English Language & Literature students may be able to find some useful advice regarding Paper 2 in this section, although the other components of the subject are rather different).
Stupid Mistakes GCSE students make (and how to avoid them!)
These could possibly be the difference between you getting the top grade:
1. Learn the definitions! Those two marks are just recall you can’t afford to lose them.
2. You don’t read the question.Or even worse, you write the answer in an exam that is for a similar question you did before but doesn’t answer the question on the paper. READ THE QUESTION.
3. You don’t give yourself enough time for the longer questions. Try and get those six markers done in the middle of the exam when your not as nervous and aren’t rushing.
4.You have a staring contest with the invigilator/ room around you: You don’t have time for that! Look back down!
5.You don’t go to the bathroom before the exam: You think you can hold an hour but you really won’t. Good luck recalling quotes whilst trying not to wet yourself!
6. You don’t revise for the subjects you don’t like/ you find hard: whether you prepare or not your still going to have to sit that exam so do your prep.
7. You don’t like to admit when you need help: If you don’t know something it will affect you the most, not your teacher or peers.
What I like to do is sticky note the problem areas and then ask my teacher or friends to find a solution. If you don’t understand something try asking any of the alevel studyblrs who have (most likely) done GCSE already ( including me!)
8. Wishful thinking: Not revising something because you hope it’s not on the exam is not good enough and it probably will be there so cover everything!
Ps: I hope this isn’t applicable to anyone reading this but NEVER CHEAT!
Scenario 1: you’ll get caught and banned from taking the rest of your exams.
Scenario 2: You get away with it , you get grades you don’t deserve, and it will bite you in the ass at a level when you have to use GCSE knowledge as a foundation 😉
You know you’re obsessed with the Captive Prince when:
You’re in a three hour Tudor history exam, and you’ve got not one, but three different Charleses in one paragraph, and all you can think is ‘I am Charls, you are Charls, we are both named for our grandfather Charles’
Followed by:‘Charls is a popular Veretian name’ …’And becoming more popular by the day.’
AND YOU HAVE A RIDICULOUS GRIN ON YOUR FACE AND THE INVIGILATOR IS STARING AT YOU LIKE ‘WHY AREN’T YOU SUFFERING LIKE THE OTHER POOR SODS IN HERE??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???’
And you return your attention back to the paper to avoid said dragon invigilator and realise you have spelt Charles as Charls througout the paragraph you have just been avoiding.
How do u Stop The Gay. I don'tmean stop being gay,, but like ok (Hi btw). There's a new invigilator for this years exam and I'm GAY. I can't stop brain from declaring "I'm so fucking gay" for like 20 mins after I get into the exam room and this isn't good because I'm there to Do An Exam, Not To Think About How Very Gay I Am. So how do I stop this from happening???????? help a fam out xx