invest in relationships

Alright, confession time.

I don’t ship Chloe and Rachel, and I think some people are getting dangerously excited over their relationship, setting themselves up for disappointment.

Here’s the thing. I find it very hard to get invested in a relationship that I already know will not canonically work out. Chloe and Rachel getting together in Before The Storm doesn’t matter, because we already know how it ends.

If they do get together (which I think is currently based on player choice), then it means that Rachel eventually ends up cheating on Chloe with Frank and Jefferson, the latter later being responsible for her death.

Even if they don’t get together, they’re still eventually doomed to die a few years down the road, assuming you interpret the Sacrifice Chloe ending as canon.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t ship Chloe and Rachel because I know their relationship will not work out. I just can’t get invested into something that I already know will end badly.

This post was not intended to be anti-amberprice. This was just my take on why I don’t ship it.

some people think laurel is using frank but we have to understand that laurel isn’t in the right mental state right now to invest herself in a relationship like she did with Frank in season 2. Right now she’s damaged, scared, full of guilt, and out for revenge. It’s going to take time before we get legit flaurel love again but right now they’re in a good place. She’s not angry with him, she’s talking to him, she’s being nice to him. Baby steps y’all, we’re headed in the right direction. What we’ve gotten so far in this season is way better than the dust we got in season 3 where they had like 2 scenes together. Give laurel time to become leveled again.

Oh my god Small Portion of the Sanvers Fandom. I am not going to claim to be as invested in the relationship as some of you, but you’re acting like someone died. Floriana decided to leave the show. This is a CW series, the breakup has to be dramatic. What is dramatic? A broken engagement.

I completely understand wanting positive LGBTQ representation, but how is a broken engagement a bad thing for LGBTQ people exactly? Alex is still super gay. She will continue to be gay. She will go through her break up and in all likelihood will move on and find another love interest. Hopefully that love interest will get sufficient screen time and Alex will walk down the aisle with Joh’n by her side. It probably won’t be with Maggie, but that doesn’t mean the show is disrespecting LGBTQ people. Don’t conflate show runners ending a lesbian relationship on a show bc the actress decided to leave and actual homophobia. That’s dumb.

I get that Alex’s coming out and subsequent relationship really resonated with a lot of people, but the writers ending the relationship does not negate any of that. ALEX IS STILL GAY. SHE DOESN’T STOP BEING GAY BECAUSE SHE’S SINGLE, AND GONNA BE KINDA SAD FOR A WHILE.

I know a lot of you have been burned before(I haven’t watched S3 and S4 of The 100, but I know what went down there), but this is not the same situation. The show has given us a lot of time to get used to the idea, and this did not come out of the blue.

10 Reasons Why Deep Thinkers Have A Difficult Time Falling In Love

Believe it or not deep thinkers rationalize their feelings. They don’t let themselves feel without analyzing every potential action. And sometimes they don’t let themselves even feel something sincere because they don’t want to hurt the ones they love. They’re idealists at heart and extremely intelligent and highly intuitive people that are difficult to decipher.

Originally posted by ohiwishicouldlovemyself

1. They are the world’s greatest idealists.

Since they are deep thinkers, then you know that they are all about ideas. They are always caught up with the contents of the mind. They tend to get preoccupied with the most complex ideas in the world. However, this can lead to them having very cluttered minds. Their physiological systems no longer have enough energy to process emotions anymore.


2. They would be the first to tell you that love isn’t enough.

They are natural skeptics. They doubt everything because they want to be able to experience and analyze everything for themselves. They’ve seen how love has failed so many people. They have seen so many examples of people who tried their hands at love and ended up losing. They have seen the detriments of heartbreak, disappointment, and betrayal. That’s how they know that love alone can never sustain people.


3. They try to rationalize their feelings.

They can often talk themselves out of falling in love because of how they analyze their feelings. They don’t really like to act on a whim. They will always try to attack their feelings and address them from a scientific perspective. Sometimes, this can be very irritating to other people and they understand that. But that’s something that they just can’t shake.


4. They will always rely on their own selves to go after what they want.

They are naturally independent people. These deep thinkers are just prone to acting out of their personal philosophies. They are also incredibly ambitious and they tend to always have a game plan for everything. They are able to map out their paths to success relatively well because of their thinking prowess. That’s why whenever they are looking to achieve something, they just go ahead and do it. They don’t really rely on other people to get stuff done on their behalf. They just like to act on their own accord. That’s why it really doesn’t concern them to not be in a relationship with anyone.


5. They are damaged and they will use their relationships as a healing mechanism.

The one thing you have to know about deep thinkers is that there are huge holes in their lives that they are trying to fill. They are vert introspective people and they know the areas and aspects of their character that are incomplete or flawed. They are very much aware of their personal vulnerabilities. And sometimes, these flaws can be the source of their greatest insecurities. They will end up trying to get into relationships as a means to fill a void in their life. This may take away from whether they are really invested in the relationship the way that they should be. 


6. They will try to deflect their weak spots by pointing out their flaws.

As previously stated, deep thinkers tend to be very self-aware. They know what their deepest flaws are and they are always able to point out the gaping holes of their character. When they are feeling like they are unable to cope with their faults, they will try to deflect by finding flaws in your character too. This leads to them developing a reluctance to be with people because they are rarely ever able to overlook the flaws of another person.


7. They trust what they see more than what they feel.

They are more interested in a person’s inherent character as opposed to how a person will make them feel. They will really try to dissect a person’s inherent characteristics and personality over what feelings this person can evoke in them. They don’t really like to react to their feelings much. They like to always be methodical and analytical in their approach. Feelings make them feel very uncomfortable.


8. They have the highest standards.

The deep thinkers always want the most out of life. They think that they are entitled to the best things that life has to offer and that includes love. When they do choose to engage in love, they always believe that they are only deserving of the best kind. That’s why they will always hold their partners to the highest standards. They will always have very high expectations for their relationships and sometimes, these expectations can be very unreasonable.


9. They are always the most hesitant when it comes to love.

They just don’t like to fall in love because they know that it places them in a situation of emotional vulnerability. When they try to look at it from a utilitarian perspective, the pros of staying single can always outweigh the benefits of falling in love. They don’t want to place themselves in a place of weakness and so they will not want to just dive into love at all.


10. They have the biggest fears.

They are afraid. They act like they aren’t emotional creatures, but there’s one emotion that they just can never seem to shake: fear.

6

A subtle reminder that Rob is the father in real life [for added effect]

anonymous asked:

i know you meant well when you said 30 isnt ancient, but im nb so my life expectancy is actually 30 :(

Hey anon, I’m so sorry that that’s a fear you’ve had to live with. I know that trans people are at greater risk of violence and suicide, and I’ve heard people say many times that the life expectancy of trans people (or trans women, or trans women of color, depending on who you ask) is anywhere from 23 to 35. Your ask troubled me, so I’ve dug deep looking for solid evidence of any of these, and I don’t believe that these statistics are true.

A trans woman, Helen, looked into the “23 years” claim and traced it back to someone’s notes on two workshops at a 2007 conference, which stated that trans people’s life expectancy is “believed to be around 23” (emphasis mine) but cites no actual source. This claim has been presented as fact in many news articles since then, but as far as I can tell, no one seems to know where this figure came from.

Another claim is often sourced to an Argentine psychologist quoted in this NPR article

Psychologist Graciela Balestra, who works closely with the transgender community, says it’s an especially vulnerable population.

“Transgender people have an average life expectancy of about 30 to 32 years,” Balestra says. “They don’t live any longer; I think that statistic alone says so much.”

But again, the article gives no source for this figure

I found an article claiming that a 2014 report by the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR) “concludes the average life expectancy of trans people in the Western Hemisphere is between 30-35 years.” However, when I tracked down the report, An Overview of Violence Against LGBTI Persons (pdf), its only reference to this is (emphasis mine): “[T]he IACHR has received information that the life expectancy of trans women in the Americas is between 30 and 35 years of age.” Again, this is no source.

Someone said on my post that these statistics may have come from the NCTE/NGLTF report Injustice at Every Turn (pdf), but I can’t find any reference to any such claim in the report.

Thinking about these claims, they seem unlikely for some basic reasons. Consider that we simply don’t have a long enough span of data on trans people, and that what data we do have is extremely limited because we can’t always know who is trans and who isn’t. Consider also that, although obviously the murder rates for trans people are extremely high, the number of deaths of 20-something trans people would have to be ENORMOUS to offset the existence of older trans people and bring the average down to 30. Especially since, unlike with racial groups for example, the data on trans people would likely include almost no childhood deaths, simply because it would be much more difficult (and in many cases impossible) to identify these children as trans. And since we know that trans women of color are extremely disproportionately affected by violence, statistics that include white people and/or trans men would be especially unlikely to be so low.

And as to your specific situation anon, again given that trans women of color are most at risk, I don’t think we have reason to believe that being non-binary specifically puts a person at anywhere near this level of increased risk of dying young.

I don’t say any of this to question anyone’s experiences or to deny the state of emergency that trans women face with regard to violence. That is very real. But I think it can be harmful, even dangerous to trans people to spread claims like this around, especially without evidence. Expecting to die by 30 would take an extreme emotional toll on anyone, and trans people deserve better.

But don’t take my word for it: FORGE, a national transgender anti-violence organization that works with trans survivors of sexual assault, wrote the following in its 2016 publication “First Do No Harm: 8 Tips for Addressing Violence Against Transgender and Gender Non-Binary People” (pdf) (I have moved two footnotes into the main text and provided links to some endnote sources; italicized emphasis is theirs while bold is mine.): 

Promote Hope for the Future

It certainly is not the same as a murder, but publicizing a low “life expectancy” rate for transwomen of color is another way to steal away their future, a “crime” that has been committed repeatedly by trans, LGBQ, and mainstream press. Think about the people you know or have heard of who have been diagnosed with a fatal illness and given a short time to live: how many of them have enrolled in college, undertaken lengthy training for a new occupation, had a new child, or tried to establish a new non-profit? A few do, certainly, but many more focus on their bucket list, arrange for their good-byes, or simply give up entirely, essentially relinquishing whatever time they have left to depression and regrets. When we tell transwomen of color they cannot expect to live very long, we rob them of hope. We rob them of any motivation to invest in themselves, their relationships, and their communities. We rob them, in short, of their lives even while they are still living. (This statement in no way negates the need to systemically work to improve and increase the life expectancy of trans people through working to end transphobia, racism, poverty, pervasive violence, and health and healthcare inequities, and more.)

One trans woman of color was trying to come to grips with an estimated lifespan figure more than ten years shorter than the one that has been published most often. (We are not repeating any of the (incorrect) estimated lifetime figures that are circulating, to avoid even inadvertent reinforcement.) Faced with the report of yet another attack on another trans woman, she wrote:

These days, I look at the latest reports of stabbed, shot, beaten trans women, search myself for tears, and I cannot find a thing. I want to mourn and rage. I want to honor all of our sisters — the hundreds each year who are ripped, namelessly and without fanfare, from this life — who are taken so young before their time. But the grief and anger — even empathy — do not come. I don’t feel anything but numbness and fatigue, and somewhere far below that, fear.

The terrible irony of the life expectancy “fact” is that it is based on an impossibility. The only ways to determine a given population’s life expectancy are to: examine decades or more of death certificates or census data containing the information being studied, or follow a specific set of individuals for around 100 years and record every single death. There is not and never has been a census of transgender people. Our death certificates do not mark us as transgender. There has been no 100-year-long study of a representative group of trans people. So where are the estimated lifespan figures coming from?

FORGE tracked the most commonly-cited figure back to what was most likely the 2014 Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference, where a workshop presenter gave the figure and explained she had calculated it by averaging the age of death for all of those listed on the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) website. This means the figure is actually the average age of those trans people who were both murdered and came to the attention of someone who added them to the TDOR list. Interestingly, this average is very close to the average age of everyone who is murdered in the U.S., according to the U.S. Department of Justice statistics. [I’m not seeing an average age given in the cited source but you can see on page 5 of this Bureau of Justice Statistics report (pdf) that the average age of homicide victims in the U.S. was between 30 and 35 from 1980 to 2008.]

But not everyone is murdered.

Despite how many there may appear to be, only a tiny, tiny fraction of transpeople are killed by other people. Most of us, transwomen of color included, live average lifespans and die of the most common U.S. killers — heart disease, cancer, chronic lower respiratory disease, and unintentional injuries (accidents).

Please don’t add to fear and hopelessness by spreading inaccurate and profoundly disempowering data.

Since I can’t respond to everyone directly, I’m @ing some people who’ve brought this up on my post and may be interested: (urls removed after posting for their privacy). I appreciate your thoughtfulness in bringing this to my attention. If you or anyone else has a source on any of these figures that can provide specific methodology, I’d be very grateful to see that.

In closing, here are some resources that provide a more hopeful view of trans aging. They are well known but I hope they will be helpful to someone.

Aries: Personal planets heavily influence how the Aries energy is expressed in my experience. Some may be introverted, quiet, hardworking and passive whereas others are aggressive, confrontational and loud. Protective of their family and close friends. Will avoid crying in public at all costs. Works hard to maintain an intimidating or “strong” image; they do not want to be considered as weak or emotional. Most Aries tend to have some sort of superiority complex and often look down on their peers. Often make snide remarks.

Taurus: Extremely private people. They’re more than happy to listen to you vent about your problems but will rarely open up completely about theirs. Experts at befriending a plethora of people whilst remaining relatively mysterious. Self-serving. Tends to have a lot of pent-up emotion; whether that be good or bad. Taureans have trouble letting go of failures or mistakes. Highly driven individuals that give in too easily to procrastination and laziness. 

Gemini: Generally able to get along with a wide range of people. This is due to their ability to adapt to their surroundings. May struggle in life with finding somebody who truly understands them due to this. Can be extremely philosophical people. Very intelligent but tend to stretch themselves too thin in regards to the number of interests they have; Gemini’s have trouble allocating 100% attention to 1 thing. Strong desire to be surrounded by people. Most begin to feel restless and agitated if they’re unable to be productive or useful for extended periods of time. 

Cancer: Extremely strong exterior. May only cry or show weakness around close friends and family. Prone to feelings of guilt and shame. In tune with their emotions and thus able to control them very well. Tend to have a somewhat calm and aloof demeanor to them. Can be loud and obnoxious. May use their shortcomings as an excuse to treat others poorly. Intuitive and is able to recognize what people need emotionally. Nurturing and somewhat of a parental figure to those closest to them. 

Leo: Leo’s hold loyalty to an extremely high standard. Have a tendency to walk over those they consider “weak” or befriend and rely on those that are “strong”. Opinionated. High achievers and will always strive to be #1. Extremely competitive in regards to matters they are passionate about. Ambitious and intelligent. May encounter many conflicts in their life due to their personality. Very proud and self-confident individuals; this tends to rub people the wrong way. Can be generous and sacrificial to their loved ones.

Virgo: Most likely to possess a superiority complex; tend to think those around them are incompetent. Strives to be useful to others or feels the best about themselves when they’re helping others. Rarely raises their voice in arguments. Dignified and elegant. Can be extremely condescending. Most often attracted to a clean and crisp type of aesthetic. Relatively formal and businesslike in social interactions; may find it difficult to form meaningful and long-term bonds because of this. Has a tendency to jump to conclusions due to the fact that they overanalyze and think about every minuscule detail. Where 1 aspect of their life is extremely organized, 5 other aspects are chaotic. May become easily overwhelmed by stress or negative emotions such as sadness or anger.

Libra: Extremely charismatic people. Know exactly how to use words to favor themselves. Have a tendency to hold onto emotions and victimize themselves. Often hold pity-parties for themselves and complain about their shortcomings. Can be shallow. Have a great appreciation for beauty. Romantic relationships are generally of great importance to a Libra. Have an inability to gauge the responses of those around them and act according; never know when to shut up. Fairness, justice, and equality are held in high-esteem and will feel exceedingly slighted if they experience some sort of unfairness (more than others). Absolutely detest arguing and want their relations to be civil at all times; may find themselves being walked over by stronger personalities as a result. Due to their intensely conflict-adverse nature, they have the capacity to become passive aggressive or manipulative.

Scorpio: Not nearly as scary or intimidating as some may think. They are however intense in romantic relationships; they want to know everything about you and your past, for you to open up completely to them. Relatively private and secretive. Judgemental. Rather empathetic and painfully emotional individuals underneath. The type to fall hard and quick for somebody. Struggles to accept reality. Gets caught up in their thoughts and convinces themselves that a situation is something that it isn’t. Will always struggle with cutting ties with people; would rather gradually distance themselves from the person than talking about it. 

Sagittarius: Always wanting something more. Very blunt and straightforward people. Strong presence and personality. Intimidating to those who have a “softer” personality. Tend to get along with the opposite gender extremely well. Has strong opinions and is not opposed to sharing them. Very persuasive. Able to maintain a conversation effortlessly. Intelligent and have a great ability to think outside of the box. 

Capricorn: Will always have their own self-interests in mind; selfish. Has high standards of what they expect and can be extremely stubborn. Cannot stand wasting their time. Has a great sense of timing and knows exactly when and when not to say or do something. Patient. Not the most physically affectionate person. May struggle to understand the emotions of others. Much prefer to keep to themselves but have no issue in socializing. Strong opinions. Motivated and knows what to do to achieve their goals. Despises feeling unproductive or lazy and will experience extreme bouts guilt and shame if they become sedentary. 

Aquarius: God-complex. Aren’t afraid to speak their mind. Brutally honest. They will make it abundantly clear when they do not like you. Able to hold an objective opinion on most things. Rarely invest themselves into relationships. May have more acquaintances than close friends. Either a social butterfly or social recluse. Needs social interactions to feel energized. Original and unique; they take pride in this. Will seldom follow trends. Very blunt, detached and aloof. Rarely makes a scene.

Pisces: Have a tendency to soak up the personalities and emotions of those around them due to their empathetic and emotional nature; difficult to describe their true personality or “put into a box” because of this. Have an innate desire to be liked and accepted by their peers. Easily influenced, persuaded or convinced and may be prone to substance abuse due to this. Can be very soft and loving individuals. Value friendships immensely. May find themselves being taken advantage of frequently. Extremely intuitive and perceptive. May appear shy and timid but are generally the polar opposite around those they are comfortable with.

somebodylost-chan  asked:

I'd like to ask, how do you know when fight/smut scenes are necessary? Or how to make them effective & not simply as fanservice or just for word count? Usually, I find myself skimming through fight scenes as a reader, bored. As a writer, I'm inclined to just 'fade to black' and imply stuff at the next chapters. I'm not really a fight/smut-scene writer, even though my characters know & need to fight. Thanks for keeping this blog. :D

A good fight scene (and a good smut scene for that matter) always works in the service of the narrative. It works toward the cohesive big picture.

From an entertainment standpoint, violence is boring.

You need your audience invested in the characters participating in the violence, in the actions and events leading up to the fight, in the aftermath and how this will effect the character’s overall goals.

In a narrative context, if you’re bored during a fight scene or a sex scene it’s because the build up to that moment failed. The scene itself may also have failed. However, your foundation is what makes your story sing.

Think of a story like building blocks. You’re playing Jenga with your reader on a homemade house, they’re slowly pulling out the pieces and you’re betting you built your blocks well enough to withstand scrutiny. You’ve got to keep them interested long enough to get to the end before the whole thing comes tumbling down.

A fight sequence which works in concert with it’s narrative is enjoyable, doesn’t overstay it’s welcome, and ultimately works to build up the story it’s telling. Fighting isn’t fighting, you see. Combat is a form of problem solving, the fight itself is an expression of the character’s individuality. Everything we’ve been learning about them, their goals, and their behaviors are being put in a pressure cooker and dialed up.

You should be learning about the character as the fight progresses, the fight working on multiple levels in concert with its narrative to get the story where it needs to go. Often, a first fight is like an establishing shot in film. You get a feel for who this character is when under pressure, who they are. Peril can be a great way to get the audience invested, but its up to the author to prove why they should.

Poor fight sequences don’t tell you anything. They’re there to establish the character as capable of fighting but don’t even do that because their concept of combat is generic.

The combatants aren’t individuals expressing themselves, the fight isn’t proving anything except fighting, it doesn’t have meaning except for its attempts to prove the narrative’s poor concept of badassery. This often happens with no regard for the setting’s rules, the aftermath consequences, what the character’s actions will effect in the long run.

It doesn’t mean anything and, while violence is shocking and terrifying in real life, in fiction violence has to mean more than just an exchange of blows.

How many times have you read a book where several mooks show up to get their ass kicked by the protagonist? They limp off at the end and while they’re often in a perfect position to be seen again due to their connections, we never do.

In even just a moderately competent narrative, those same mooks are characters. We’ll see them again in bit roles. They’ll play a role, either to help or hurt later as an aftermath consequence of the protagonist’s earlier actions. These are callback characters we can use to remind the audience of what happened previously in the narrative, and offer up some catharsis.

In a really well written scene, these mooks serve an important purpose when it comes to establishing the protagonist’s character in a quick snapshot. Like the moderately competent character, they come back later to the aid or the detriment of the protagonist. The mooks’ response actions are a direct result of their encounter with the character, often acting as an inciting incident. The protagonist suffers direct consequences as a result of their actions, whether its injury, loss, or the attention of the villain which causes them to lose something. In these fight scenes, you can see the story’s trajectory because it acts as another way to get to know the hero, the secondary characters, the tertiary characters, and whoever else is participating. It’s working on five different levels.

What you often see in a good fight sequence, whether it’s in a written medium or film, is the culmination of a great deal of hard work on the part of the author. A smut sequence is a reward, it’s a way to pay off on the reader’s investment in the relationship between these two characters and the narrative’s investment in them. It doesn’t matter if that’s hardcore sex, or a Victorian hand touch, or a knockout blow to the jaw, the end result is the same. It’s entertaining, satisfying, and even cathartic.

A poor sex scene is just dolls bumping bits. A poor fight scene is just dolls trading blows. Nothing occurs, nothing happens, there’s none of the underlying satisfaction or catharsis in the outcome. You don’t have any investment, no consequences, it overstays its welcome and tells you nothing about the characters.

You’ve no reason to care, so you don’t.

As a reader, you don’t owe a writer attention when reading their work. They’ve got to earn it. If they aren’t, then it may be that the story isn’t for you and that’s okay. Take into account your tastes,

It takes practice to choreograph a fun fight scene. Writing sex and violence is mostly about learning to find your limits (i.e. what you’re comfortable with writing), and overcoming embarrassment. Determine the difference between need and want.

Are you avoiding writing these scenes because you’re scared of being bad at them or because they just don’t interest you?

These are two very different issues, and it’s easy to hide from the first behind the second. Be honest with yourself. If it is fear, then don’t give into it. The easy solution if you’re afraid of being bad at something is to practice. Start looking critically at the media you consume, when you start to get bored during a fight scene or a sex scene, when you want to skip ahead, ask yourself, “why?”. Check out the sequences and stories where this doesn’t happen, and try to figure out the differences between the two.

When it comes to the mechanics of both violence and sex, the more you learn the better off you’ll be at writing it. The more you practice writing violence/sex/romance then the better you’ll be. Like with everything, it’ll probably be pretty terrible in the beginning but the more you practice, the better you get. Writing itself is a skill, but its also a lot of sub-skills built in underneath the surface. Being good at dialogue doesn’t mean you’ll be good at action, having a knack for great characterization doesn’t mean you’ll be good at writing setting description. Putting together great characters doesn’t mean you’ll automatically be good at worldbuilding.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.

All it takes to figure out whether or not the time to fight is right is by listening to your gut.

Remember, the best scenes are based in narrative cohesion and emotional investment. They’re a pay off in and of themselves for your audience, dessert after dinner. They aren’t the meat and potatoes. If you set out to just write a fight scene or write a smut scene then it’ll get gratuitous. Then the focus is on the fight or the sex itself, hangs entirely on their shoulders, and you’ve just upped the ante for how entertaining you need to be.

It’s not “how do I write a fight scene”, it’s “how did my characters get to this point and why are they fighting”. If you start from a character place, it gets easier. The same is true with romance. “How do my characters participate in a romance (sex or not)”.

Make it about the individuals, that’s when it really gets fun.

And, if you get too stuck, try writing fight scenes with characters who don’t know much about how to fight. Sometimes, it’s easier to get into it when you begin at the beginning. There’s a lot less pressure convincing an audience with a character who knows nothing than one at the top of their field.

There’s a lot less stress about “is this right?” when you’re trying to get a feel for the flow if you’re dealing with a character who doesn’t know jack shit. Fight scenes with characters who know nothing can also be really, really, really fun. They’re wild, improvisational frenzies where all you have is the character sorting through their alternative, non-fighting skills trying to figure out how to survive.

Believe it or not, this will help you because you don’t get to cheat with the idea that your character already knows what they’re doing when you don’t. It’ll help you tap into the character, seeing scenarios from their perspectives, and writing to that instead of “generic fight scene”. When you’re unsure, characters who know nothing about the subject matter they’re engaging in but still have to engage are great. They teach you how to write from the standpoint and perspective of the individual. You need those skills just as much when writing characters who are professionals or at the top of their field.

If you don’t think you can write an interesting fight sequence with a neophyte, then that might be a part of the problem. A character doesn’t need to be good at something to be entertaining. A smut sequence where everyone’s fumbling, knocking into each other, embarrassed, stuck in their clothing, cheesy, corny, and laughing can be just as fun (if not more so and more honest) than the ones that generally get envisioned.

For me, good is entertaining and the entertainment is based in humanity but you need to define “good” for yourself in your own writing. Be honest with yourself about your fears and you’ll find a way to bridge yourself to the kind of writing you want to be doing.

Freeing yourself of your own internalized preconceived notions will help a lot, and produce stories that are way more fun.

-Michi

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THIS SCENE THOUGH.

They both handled this situation in such a reasonable and healthy way.
She didn’t get furious or defensive and come at him with anger for hiding that information on his father.

He was apologetic and honest, admitting to his mistake.

She was compassionate and understanding, giving him encouragement and affirming how much he means to her – that she fully wants to invest in this relationship and expects him to as well.

They both agree on wanting an honest and authentic relationship with each other AND THEN SHE GOES TO THE TRAILER TO SEE HIS DAD – formally meet him and witnessing his criminal and slovenly existence.

Once they leave the trailer after Jughead faced perhaps his greatest fear in his future with Betty; her finally seeing full well what he came from and the actual state of his father, scared of if it will change her feelings for him. 

And her response when he faces her, full of insecurity?

I mean, LOOK AT BOTH OF THEIR FACES WHEN SHE SAYS IT.

She is so supportive and loving and he is utterly moved. She’s just completely lifting him up and giving him the kind of stability and self-confidence he has probably been looking for since he was little. And he has been that very same rock for her throughout this ordeal with Polly and her parents.

My heart is so full.

Such a beautiful, honest and healthy depiction of love that’s got me shook to my core.

What is Attachment Disorder?

Attachment disorder is where a child or adult is unable to form normal healthy attachments. This is usually due to detrimental early life experiences - such as neglect, abuse, separation from their parents or primary caregivers (after six months of age and before three years of age), frequent change of caregivers, and lack of responsiveness from their caregivers.

Symptoms vary depending on age. In adults, they fall under one of two categories – either avoidant or anxious/ ambivalent personalities. These are summarized below.

1. Avoidant

· Intense anger and hostility

· Hypercritical of others

· Extremely sensitive to criticism, correction or blame

· Lacks empathy

· Sees others as untrustworthy and unreliable

· Either sees themselves as being unlovable or “too good” for others

· Relationships are experienced as either being too threatening or requiring too much effort

· Fear of closeness and intimacy

· Compulsive self-reliance

· Passive or uninvolved in relationships

· Find it hard to get along with co-workers and authority figures

· Prefers to work alone, or to be self employed

· May use work to avoid investing in relationships

2. Anxious/ Ambivalent

· Demonstrates compulsive caregiving

· Problems with establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries

· Feels they give they give more than they get back

· Feels their efforts aren’t noticed or appreciated

· Idealizes people

· Expects their partner to repeatedly demonstrate their love, affection and commitment to them, and the relationship

· Emotionally over-invests in friendships and romantic relationships

· Are preoccupied with close relationships

· Overly dependent on their partner

· Believes that others are out to use them or to take advantage of them

· Fears rejection

· Is uncomfortable with anger

· Experiences a roller coaster of emotions – and often these are extremes of emotion

· Tends to be possessive and jealous; finds it hard to trust

· Believes they are essentially flawed, inadequate and unlovable.

On Camera

Or that one time Lance decided to live-stream when he really should’ve been resting. The (established) klance YouTuber AU that no one asked for, but you’re all getting. Domestic klance sharing an apartment is my jam, and throwing a little angst in there is a bonus.

I’m actually really happy with this, and if people like it I might do an actual long AU thing with this setting, so feedback is appreciated! For now though, just a one-shot. This is also proof that the best writing for me happens at 3 AM… oops. I hope you enjoy!!

Psst @taylor-tut this is that thing I not-so-discreetly mentioned in my tags, have a wonderful day.


Lance McClain was a rulebreaker in every way, except for one thing. He believed it was always necessary to have a routine, and never stray from it. If asked, he’d inform you that a steady routine was the foundation for a steady life.

Showering every morning, brushing his teeth every night, thinking of a cheesy one-liner for Keith each day without fail, the list went on. Little things.

One of his many routines was to live-stream, always on Sundays. Because who did anything besides sit at home, definitely not with a hangover, on Sunday?

New videos went up on Wednesdays, but the carefully edited ones on YouTube and his live-streams were very different. Many fans even preferred seeing him live, mainly because he couldn’t stop himself from making bad jokes, and was usually too lazy to straighten his bedhead.

And they would always ask him to go bother Keith in the next room, which Lance more often than not was obliged to do.

So when he woke up late one Sunday with a killer headache and a stuffy nose, Lance wasn’t about to let it get in the way of his routine.

He discovered a note from Keith on the kitchen table that said he’d be out running errands, and Lance lamented that he hadn’t been awake to tell Keith to get soup. After shooting him a quick text, the only response Lance got was “You don’t even like soup.”

Lance chuckled softly, which quickly led to a series of wet coughs. Clearing his throat, he began to set up his camera, wrapped himself up in blankets, and started the stream.

“Hey guys,” he said with a small wave, and winced at how raspy his voice sounded. He sniffled, and edged the off-screen box of tissues closer to him.

The chat was quickly flooded with “HELLO”’s and “LANCE!”’s. By now, all the fans knew when he went live. Lance was, however, surprised to see several inquiries about his health.

There were quite a few “Are you okay”’s, and even some “You seem sick”’s, with one of Lance’s personal favorites being “You look like shit.”

He read off the last comment with a short laugh. “Thanks, KeiththeKutie05.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Nice name.”

After a short pause of him continuing to scan the chat, he spoke again. “I’m fine though, just got a cold or something. Nothing could stop me from live-streaming!”

As the viewers seemed satisfied with this response, Lance wasn’t surprised to see the usual repetition of “Where’s Keith?” in the chat. He sighed.

“Mullet Boy is running errands,” Lance told them, rolling his eyes for effect. “Probably going out to buy a new pair of fingerless gloves.”

Keith and Lance had been sharing an apartment for some time now, and the Internet was very invested in their relationship, or so it seemed. Keith was annoyed by the whole thing at first, but Lance found it entertaining that his fans seemed to like Keith better than him. Lance could, admittedly, relate.

Eventually, the accidental publicity that came with dating a YouTuber inspired Lance to make a collab channel for them, though Keith never got his own. He insisted that he was too awkward to film anything by himself, which Lance secretly found adorable.

Numerous people began telling Lance to prank Keith when he came back, to which Lance grinned. Playing tricks on Keith during live-streams had become somewhat of a tradition in and of itself. “Maybe I will,” Lance tapped his chin thoughtfully. “You guys got any ideas?”

Lance read through some of the responses but saw nothing particularly appealing, then perked up at someone asking when he’d do a video with Hunk again.

“Actually, I got some good news for you guys,” Lance declared, sneezing into his elbow before continuing. “Hunk and I are going to be playing videogames on Pidge’s channel sometime next week, and Hunk has both of us coming over to his and Shay’s for a baking video. I haven’t decided what we should do for my part yet. Maybe a Q & A?”

Once again, Lance’s eyes scanned through the suggestions until his eyes snagged on one he liked. “Cards Against Humanity, huh? With YouTube’s shitty new rules it could get demonetized, but I do love that game, so why not? I’m positive Pidge owns it, and I can tell them to bring it over. Maybe I can even convince Keith to play with us.”

Lance couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiastic response that got.

“I think I’m going to get myself some more coffee,” Lance decided, looking down at the empty mug resting on a coaster. “Last night Keith made me watch this really scary movie, so I naturally had trouble falling asleep. Gotta have coffee to keep myself functioning. Do you guys prefer coffee or tea? Keith and I are both coffee people, but he likes his black. No sugar or anything, disgusting if you ask me.”

Lance almost regretted this comment as a war of opinions on black coffee slowly took over his computer screen.

“Well, anyway, I’m gonna go to the kitchen real quick. I’d bring my laptop but… I’d probably spill coffee on it, and we can’t have that.”

Lance stood, and was about to start towards the next room when his vision abruptly blurred and refocused. He knew immediately something was wrong.

His legs felt like jelly, and the room seemed to spin as he took a single step forward. Had he only been fine when he was sitting? Lance had half the mind to sit right back down, but his brain was growing muddled, and direction simply didn’t make sense.

Lance’s migraine flared abruptly in intensity, and then suddenly the wood floor was rushing up to meet him. Everything went dark.


Keith glanced at his phone as he moved around to the back of the car, where he’d stored the groceries, and had to repress a fond smile at the Twitter notification on the screen. Lance was, apparently, live-streaming. Keith thought he might actually miss his time-slot for once, but he figured by now he should be used to the Cuban boy’s dedication to routine.

Lance’s channel got some negative feedback from more ‘sophisticated’ YouTubers for being… all over the place. A dedicated beauty guru, or PrinceLotor as his channel was called, had dragged Lance on Twitter on more than one occasion.

Lance was anything but consistent when it came to videos. He did whatever he felt like doing that week, and the fans loved it. Sometimes he played songs on his guitar, sometimes he did prank-calls. He would film Q&A’s, or tell stories about all the interesting stuff that happened in his life— Lance’s bad luck was rather famous. He recommended TV shows, did hauls of what he got for holidays, vlogged on occasion when he went to stores, you name it.

But Lance’s favorite thing to do were collabs.

Hunk, an incredibly smart engineer, had a baking channel as a hobby, and Lance was his favorite assistant.

Pidge was a newer gaming channel, but their obsession with theorizing about the game’s lore while playing and busting other fan theories made them grow in popularity quickly. For two player games, Lance was ideal.

Allura was an extremely popular beauty channel, and Lance let her give him makeovers whenever she wanted to. Shiro could use extra actors in his short films.

And Keith… well, the two of them had a channel together that had no pattern whatsoever, much to Lance’s dislike. Absolutely spontaneous and random, usually doing things by popular fan request, like dancing or karaoke. And uploads were by no means regular.

Keith was surprised at how much he had started to enjoy it. Lance had been telling him he should start an art channel, with animations and speedpaints and the like, and Keith wasn’t… that opposed to the idea. It could be a useful source of income, to help with all the debt he would come into after graduating college. But he’d never tell Lance.

Without thinking too much of it, Keith swiped right across his screen, taking him to Lance’s tweet about the live-stream in order to like it. He was about to close his phone again and begin taking groceries up to their apartment when his eyes snagged on something odd.

Lots of the replies to Lance’s tweet mentioned him, particularly the recent ones, even tagging him in it. Keith couldn’t fathom why they would be talking about him if he wasn’t on the stream, unless Lance was complaining about him live again.

Keith bristled. Lance better not be still annoyed at him for the movie the last night. Signs wasn’t scary at all, and not even a real horror movie! Lance simply stated that ‘he didn’t mess with aliens.’

But when he looked at all the mentions, Keith felt his irritation give way to confusion, and then panic.

“KEITH GET TO UR APARTMENT”, “YOU BETTER GO CHECK ON LANCE”, “HOLY SHIT HES COLLAPSED KEITH HURRY YA ASS UP”, and the one that really sent Keith reeling “UH GUYS IS IT JUST ME OR DID WE WITNESS LANCE’S DEATH ON CAMERA?”

Keith slammed the trunk, all groceries forgotten as he sprinted into the apartment building and ran for the stairs. They only lived on the third floor, and he was not about to wait for the slow, crowded elevator.

He fumbled to fit his key in the lock and opened the door to the living room, only to spot the live-streaming set up, with no Lance. Keith rushed forward, but drew up short when he realized that Lance was in fact passed out on the floor in front of the couch.

“Oh my god— Lance!” Keith sank down beside him, turning his boyfriend over. “Lance, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

Lance’s eyes opened slowly, and Keith felt relief flood his system, despite the uncharacteristically pale skin. “K-Keith? Wha… I thought you were shopping?”

“I’m back,” Keith answered shortly, wincing as he pressed a hand onto Lance’s forehead. “Jeez, you’re on fire. Why didn’t you tell me you were this sick?!”

“Are you a fire?” Lance mumbled under his breath, and Keith furrowed his brows in confusion.

“What? No, Lance, I was saying you have a fever.”

“Because you’re hot and I want s'more,” Lance continued, as if he hadn’t heard him at all. Keith was suddenly painfully aware that the live-stream was still going, and that his face was even more flushed than Lance’s, and not because of a fever.

Keith glanced at the computer sitting on the coffee table briefly, noting that most of the chat was full of random keyboard smashing. He smiled apologetically. “At least he’s conscious,” he shrugged, hoisting Lance up off the floor and propping one of his arm’s around Keith’s shoulder. “I’m going to take this idiot to the hospital, he’s way too hot.”

“So you finally admitted it,” Lance’s voice was barely audible, and Keith glanced back down to see him grinning up at Keith tiredly.

“I meant your temperature, dumbass. Next time, tell me when you’re not feeling well.”

And with that, he shut off the stream.

10

1x08 // 3x09

Ok but this scene is actually SO FUNNY because Viktor just casually proposes in front of everyone??

because as symbolic as the rings are Yuuri doesn’t ask Viktor to marry him at the stairs outside the church?? It’s obvious that he knows what he’s doing because he specifically buys a pair of WEDDING RINGS, as shown on the receipt, but he never voices his wish to marry Viktor and instead talks about the Final and how he’s grateful for Viktor’s help, all while being incredibly flustered

And Viktor is obviously SHOOK at the start of this scene, because he knows it isn’t just all about performing well in the Final 

and then he softens out and reassures Yuuri that the feeling is mutual in a language they both speak well (aka skating) and go on their merry way

WHICH MAKES THIS SO MUCH MORE HILARIOUS

I can’t really figure out Yuuri’s reaction here to be honest because he’s visibly shocked by what Viktor is saying bUT LIKE HUNNY YOU JUST BOUGHT A PAIR OF WEDDING RINGS WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

even so 

IT’S JUST SO FUNNY HOW THEY TREATED THIS ??? because while Yuuri is taken aback by what Viktor is saying he doesn’t DENY IT and then proceeds to wear the ring for the rest of the show without fault

THEY’RE SO CUTE AND PRECIOUS AND OBVIOUSLY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND I LOVE HOW THEY MADE YUURI GET THE RINGS !! because it gave Viktor a chance to casually reveal his desire to create a life with Yuuri (and we’ve seen before how Viktor likes to drop casual hints about what he wants from Yuuri) and it also plays into Yuuri’s quote “When I open up, he meets me where I am” while also showing that Yuuri is as equally invested in their relationship as Viktor AND IT’S SO IMPORTANT 

And although Viktor’s inner monologue talks about Yuuri’s actions being unexpected, Yuuri had actually most likely been planning this for hours at least, because we can clearly see that he’s looking for something earlier in the day, and Viktor’s line “It’s unusal for Yuuri to suggest sightseeing”, supports this, because even though Yuuri isn’t one to suggest these things he does now and IT’S JUST CLEAR WHY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO GET RINGS FOR THEM AND IT’S SO PRECIOUS OF HIM

JUST

Yuuri opening up about what he feels for Viktor but being unable to say those specific words, and Viktor fills the gap for him. I love them so much they’re a perfect pair