inuit myths

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Mermaid moodboard : Inuit mermaids

Like Sedna, or Sanna; the drowned goddess, Inuit mermaids were once humans. They were women from all ages who drowned by falling under the ice or being washed away by a powerful wave. 
Sedna welcomed thoses women she saw as sisters and granted them the gift of breathing underwater and an orca tail to show that they belonged to the underwater world. She painted their hands with black lines with her hair which symbolizes her own fingers and hands which were cut by her father and from which all the fish sprang out.
Inuit mermaids are benevolent spirits guiding fishermen in winter, leading the fish where they will be needed and calming Sedna when she is angry because of her hair entangled by the currents..

People do not like to think. They hardly want to work with what is difficult to describe. And that might be the reason why we still know so little of the heaven and the earth, and of the origin of humankind and animals. It might and it might not. Because it is hard to understand how we, ourselves, became and where we get to go once we do not live anymore. Darkness lies above all beginning and all ending. How could you know more about the mightiest that surrounds us and keeps us up, about all this what we call air, heaven and sea, and what we name the peoples of the world, animals, birds and fish of all countries, seas and lakes? No, no one can know for sure about the beginning of all life. But those who open their eyes and ears and remember what the elder people once told, they have the one or another knowledge that can fill the void in our thoughts. Therefore, we like to listen to one who brings tidings of the experiences of dead lineages. And all the old myths we received from our kin, are the speeches of the dead. We talk to all who were once wise a long time ago. And we, who seemingly know so little, enjoy to listen.
—  Words of an Inuit of the Noatakriver
BEWARE OF MOTHER-IN-LAWS

ON HIS JOURNEY, KIVIUQ STOPS OFF AT A SINGLE HOUSE, IN THE HOUSE ARE A WOMAN, HER DAUGHTER, AND A SEMEN-STAINED PLANK. IT’S A PRETTY FUCKING WEIRD HOUSE. KIVIUQ GOES IN AND ASKS IF HE CAN STAY THE NIGHT, AND THE OLDER WOMAN SAYS THAT’S FINE AND TELLS HIM TO COME TO BED WITH HER.

THIS IS PRETTY FUCKING WEIRD HOSPITALITY, BUT KIVIUQ GOES FOR IT AND THEY SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER. IT’S A PRETTY SHIT NIGHT, THOUGH, BECAUSE THE PLANK IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM KEEPS WRIGGLING AND GRUMBLING.

THE NEXT DAY, IT TURNS OUT THAT THE PLANK IS ACTUALLY THE HUSBAND OF THE OLDER WOMAN, AND IT WAS REALLY FUCKING JEALOUS OF KIVIUQ. KIVIUQ COULD EASILY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE PLANK IF HE WANTED TO, BUT, BEING A PRETTY FUCKING REASONABLE DUDE, HE SLEEPS WITH THE YOUNGER WOMAN INSTEAD THE NEXT NIGHT. THE PLANK IS STILL PRETTY FUCKING PISSED OFF, BUT IT’S TOO LATE - KIVIUQ AND THE GIRL ARE NOW MARRIED.

AFTER A WHILE, THOUGH, THE OLDER WOMAN GETS REALLY FUCKING JEALOUS OF HER DAUGHTER’S MARRIAGE TO KIVIUQ SO, WHEN HE’S OUT, SHE WALKS OVER TO HER DAUGHTER AND STABS HER IN THE FACE WITH A FUCKING MASSIVE KNIFE. THEN SHE SKINS HER OWN FUCKING DAUGHTER AND PRETENDS TO BE HER. SHE’S REALLY FUCKING CRAZY, AND KIVIUQ CAN TELL IT’S HER BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING BLOODSTAINS AROUND THE EYEHOLES IN THE SKIN MASK AND ALSO BECAUSE HER LEGS ARE ALL OLD AND SAGGY. AFTER A WHILE HE GETS BORED OF HER AND OF HOW SHITTY THE ROTTING SKIN IS STARTING TO SMELL, SO HE LEAVES AND FUCKS OFF BACK HOME.

WHEN HE GETS HOME, KIVIUQ DISCOVERS THAT HIS WIFE HAS MARRIED A MOTHERFUCKING DUCK. THAT’S NOT A PROBLEM, THOUGH, AND HE TALKS TO THE DUCK AND SORTS THAT SHIT OUT DIPLOMATICALLY, WITH THE END RESULT THAT THE DUCK FUCKS OFF, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.

Mythika’s Tizheruk (inuit myth) becomes somewhat different. I once found a picture of this ice-based crocodile Tizheruk on Deviantart, and I actually really find it suiting for the  Tizheruk which is a ice-based monster that stalks its prey from the water and which is almost invisible till it strikes. Sounds like a crocodile to me!

The new Tizheruk is now a sub-species of Gbahali, a land-based crocodile which can become invisible by blending into the environment, the Tizheruk is much more powerful, lives in cold climates, is aquatic and has 6 legs though, still both creatures are crocodiles which use invisibility to hunt for prey, so they must be related in Mythika. 

This was the old Tizheruk: 

BEWARE OF THE FISH LADY

THE QALUPALIK LIVES UNDER THE ICE. SHE’S A SLIMY GREEN FISH LADY, AND SHE EATS KIDS. HELL FUCKING YES.

DON’T GO NEAR THE EDGE OF THE ICE. SHE JUST SITS THERE, DOING FUCK ALL EXCEPT HUMMING. SHE HUMS AND HUMS, AND WAITS FOR KIDS TO COME OVER TO FIND OUT WHAT THE NOISE IS. IS IT BEES? FUCK NO. IT’S A BABY-EATING FISH LADY WITH FUCKING MASSIVE TEETH. SORRY KIDS.

SHE GRABS THE KIDS THAT COME NEAR, STUFFS THE LITTLE SHITS IN HER FUCKING MASSIVE COAT, DROWNS THEM, STEALS THEIR YOUTH AND EATS THEIR BODIES. WORRIED ABOUT AGEING? IT’S FUCKING FINE. JUST EAT A MOTHERFUCKING BABY.

HOW TO GET A WIFE

KIVIUQ IS SITTING AROUND BEING A MOPEY LITTLE SHIT BECAUSE HE’S LONELY. OF COURSE, HE’S ONLY LONELY BECAUSE HE BURNED HIS FUCKING WIFE TO DEATH. IT’S ALL HIS OWN FAULT; HE’S JUST A WHINY FUCKSNAIL.

ONE DAY, WHEN HE GOES OUT HUNTING, HE COMES HOME TO FIND THAT SOMEBODY’S MADE HIM DINNER. HE HASN’T A FUCKING CLUE WHO IT WAS, BUT HE EATS IT ANYWAY WITHOUT ASKING ANY FUCKING QUESTIONS. THIS HAPPENS AGAIN THE NEXT DAY, SO THE DAY AFTER THAT HE HIDES IN A BUSH OUTSIDE HIS TENT AND WAITS TO SEE WHO IT IS.

IT’S A MOTHERFUCKING FOX. A FOX IS MAKING HIM DINNER. SHE’S A VERY WELL-BEHAVED FOX, THOUGH, SO WHEN SHE GOES INTO THE TENT SHE TAKES HER SKIN OFF AND HANGS IT ON THE COATRACK BY THE DOOR. KIVIUQ, BEING A SHITBAG, STEALS IT AND STICKS IT IN HIS POCKET. WHAT A FUCKING DICK.

WHEN THE FOX FINISHES MAKING DINNER, SHE GOES TO PUT HER SKIN BACK ON AND FINDS THAT IT’S MISSING. KIVIUQ JUMPS OUT OF A BUSH AND REFUSES TO GIVE IT BACK UNLESS THE FOX MARRIES HIM. SHE REALLY DOESN’T WANT TO, BUT IT’S REALLY FUCKING COLD OUT THERE AND SHE KIND OF NEEDS HER SKIN, SO SHE RELUCTANTLY AGREES.

DUCKS IN SOCKS

UP IN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE, ALL BIRDS WEAR FUCKING MASSIVE FLUFFY SOCKS TO KEEP THEIR LITTLE BIRDY FEET WARM. KIVIUQ IS WELL AWARE OF THIS AND, NOT CONTENT WITH BURNING HIS FIRST WIFE TO DEATH AND THEN MARRYING A FOX, DECIDES THAT HE WANTS TO FUCK A DUCK. 

HE GOES DOWN TO THE LAKE AND WAITS FOR ALL THE BIRDS TO TAKE THEIR SOCKS OFF AND GO FOR A SWIM, AND THEN HE SNEAKS OVER AND STEALS ALL THE FLUFFY SOCKS. KIVIUQ IS A HEARTLESS SHITWEASEL AND EVEN THE THOUGHT OF DUCKS DEPRIVED OF THEIR FLUFFY SOCKS AND LEFT TO SHIVER IN THE COLD SNOW DOESN’T SOFTEN HIS HARD SHITTY HEART. WHEN THE BIRDS GET OUT OF THE LAKE, THEY REALISE THAT THEIR SOCKS HAVE BEEN STOLEN AND THEY ALL START TO CRY.

KIVIUQ LOOKS AT THE BIRDS, SEES A REALLY FUCKING SEXY SWAN, WALKS OVER TO HER AND OFFERS TO GIVE HER SOCKS BACK IF SHE’LL MARRY HIM. SHE STARES AT HIM FOR A BIT, BITES HIS HAND, GRABS THE SOCKS AND FUCKS OFF. THEN HE TRIES THE SAME THING ON A GOOSE, WHO AGREES TO MARRY HIM. HE GIVES ALL THE OTHER BIRDS BACK THEIR SOCKS, HAVING ABUSED THEM UNTIL HE FOUND A WIFE, AND FUCKS OFF BACK HOME WITH HIS NEW GOOSE WIFE.

THE TWO OF THEM HAVE FOUR BEAUTIFUL BABY EGGS TOGETHER, AND KIVIUQ, BEING THE FUCKBUCKET HE IS, EATS TWO OF THE KIDS FOR BREAKFAST AND ONLY LETS TWO OF THEM HATCH. EVENTUALLY HIS GOOSE WIFE IS SO FED UP WITH THIS BABY-EATING BULLSHIT THAT SHE JUST GRABS THE OTHER KIDS AND FUCKS OFF WITH THEM TO THE LAND OF THE BIRDS, LEAVING KIVIUQ TO GROW OLD AND TURN TO STONE AT HOME ON HIS OWN, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT HE FUCKING DESERVES.

BEARS? BEARS.

ONE DAY, WHILE KIVIUQ IS OUT HUNTING, HE RUNS INTO A BEAR. IT’S FUCKING MASSIVE, AND IT LOOKS HUNGRY, SO KIVIUQ IMMEDIATELY FALLS OVER AND PLAYS DEAD. THE BEAR THINK STHIS IS A REALLY FUCKING LUCKY COINCIDENCE, AND DECIDES TO DRAG HIM HOME FOR ITS KIDS TO EAT. IT PEELS OFF ITS SKIN, PUTS KIVIUQ ON IT, AND STARTS TO DRAG HIM HOME. 

ON THE WAY HOME, THE BEAR STARTS TO WONDER IF KIVIUQ IS ACTUALLY DEAD. IT TURNS AROUND AND INSPECTS HIS FACE TO SEE IF HE’S BREATHING. KIVIUQ KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON, THOUGH, SO HE STARTS BREATHING THROUGH HIS BUTT BECAUSE HE’S JUST THAT FUCKING GREAT AT CONTROLLING HIS BREATH. THE BEAR SMELLS FARTS, AND GOES ROUND THE BACK TO CHECK, AT WHICH POINT KIVIUQ GOES BACK TO BREATHING THROUGH HIS NOSE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN. 

THE BEAR GETS KIVIUQ HOME AND IS ABOUT TO DISEMBOWEL HIM AND COOK HIM WHEN HE JUMPS UP, GRABS AN AXE, AND CUTS THE BEAR’S MOTHERFUCKING LEGS OFF RIGHT IN FRONT OF ITS WIFE AND KIDS, WHO ALL LOOK HORRIFIED. KIVIUQ THEN FUCKS OFF INTO THE WOODS, PURSUED BY THE BEAR’S WIFE. 

WHEN HE REACHES A STREAM, HE JUMPS OVER IT AND THEN TALKS TO IT NICELY AUNTIL IT AGREES TO TURN INTO A FUCKING MASSIVE RIVER. THE BEAR’S WIFE CATCHES UP WITH HIM BUT CAN’T CROSS THE RIVER, SO SHE ASKS KIVIUQ WHAT THE FUCK HE DID TO GET OVER THAT RIVER, AND HE TELLS HER HE DRANK IT AND MAYBE SHE SHOULD TRY THE SAME.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR MRS BEAR, SHE’S REALLY FUCKING STUPID AND FALLS FOR KIVIUQ’S REALLY SHITTY LIES. KIVIUQ IS, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, A COMPLETE DICKBAG. MRS BEAR DRINKS THE WATER, AND JUST AS SHE THINKS SHE’S HAD ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO MAKE IT ACROSS, SHE REALISES THAT SHE ACCIDENTALLY DRANK FAR MORE THAN SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE. THEN SHE JUST FUCKING EXPLODES. KIVIUQ HAS SUCCESSFULLY MURDERED TWO BEARS, LEAVING THEIR KIDS TO STARVE TO DEATH WITH ONLY THE LEGLESS FUCKING CORPSE OF THEIR FATHER FOR COMPANY. WHAT A FUCKING SHITSTAIN.

FAKE SEALS

A POOR BOY LIVES WITH HIS GRANDMOTHER, AND EVERYONE HATES HIM BECAUSE HE’S AN AWFUL LITTLE SHIT. HE’S CONSTANTLY BULLIED BY EVERYONE EXCEPT A GUY CALLED KIVUQ, WHO’S A PRETTY GREAT DUDE, AND ONE DAY THE KID DECIDES HE’S HAD ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT.

HE GOES HOME TO HIS GRANDMA AND ASKS HER TO BEAT UP THE OTHER KIDS FOR HIM. OBVIOUSLY, HIS GRANDMA THINKS THAT’S A FUCKING STUPID IDEA BECAUSE SHE’S REALLY OLD AND FRAGILE AND IT WOULD BE A DISASTER. INSTEAD, SHE TELLS HER GRANDSON TO FUCK RIGHT OFF AND NOT COME BACK UNTIL HE’S FOUND A SEALSKIN.

EVENTUALLY, THE BOY COMES HOME WITH A DEAD BABY SEAL. IT’S ALL SAD AND FLUFFY AND BLOODSTAINED, AND IT LOOKS A BIT SHITTY. THAT’S NOT A PROBLEM, THOUGH. THE GRANDMA TELLS HIM TO MAKE A COAT OUT OF THE SEAL’S SKIN AND GET REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT PRETENDING TO BE A MOTHERFUCKING SEAL. HE MAKES THE COAT AND THEN SPENDS THE REST OF THE FUCKING DAY FLOPPING AROUND THE FLOOR GOING “ARF ARF”.

GRANDMA IS DELIGHTED BY THIS, GRABS HER POOR BULLIED GRANDSON BY THE ANKLES, AND THROWS HIM INTO THE BATH. IT’S REALLY FUCKING COLD, AND HE’S PRETTY UPSET BY GETTING THIS SORT OF AWFUL BULLSHIT TREATMENT FROM HIS GRANDMA. SHE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK, THOUGH, AND WATERBOARDS HIM UNTIL HE GETS REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT HOLDING HIS BREATH. THEN SHE TELLS HIM WHAT HE HAS TO DO.

STILL WEARING HIS SEALSKIN, THE KID FLOPS HIS WAY ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN MAKING SEAL NOISES UNTIL ALL THE OTHER KIDS, INCLUDING KIVIUQ, ARE FOLLOWING HIM. THEN HE FLOPS INTO THE SEA AND FUCKS OFF INTO THE DISTANCE, AND ALL THE FOLLOWING KIDS SWIM AFTER HIM, DESPERATE TO MURDER THE SHIT OUT OF THE ADORABLE LITTLE BABY SEAL.

AS SOON AS HE GETS FAR ENOUGH OUT, THE KID MAKES A COUPLE OF QUICK PRAYERS, AND A FUCKING MASSIVE STORM STARTS. ALL THE KIDS DIE, EXCEPT FOR THE SEAL BOY, WHO FLOPS BACK HOME LOOKING ADORABLE AND ONLY SLIGHTLY MURDEROUS, AND KIVIUQ, WHO GETS WASHED UP ON A DISTANT SHORE BECAUSE HE WASN’T AS MUCH OF A FUCKTRUMPET AS ALL THE OTHER KIDS.

THE LADY OF THE LAKE IS LITERALLY A DICK

AFTER HE’S BEEN AT HOME FOR A WHILE, KIVIUQ REALISES THAT HIS WIFE KEEPS ON FUCKING OFF INTO THE WOODS WHILE HE’S OUT. ONE DAY, HE DECIDES TO FOLLOW HER AND WORK OUT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.

HE FOLLOWS HER TO THE EDGE OF A LAKE AND WATCHES AS SHE TAKES ALL HER CLOTHES OFF AND SHOUTS AT THE WATER. A MOTHERFUCKING GIANT DICK RISES UP OUT OF THE WAVES, SORT OF LIKE THE LADY OF THE LAKE IF SHE WERE LITERALLY A GIANT PENIS. KIVIUQ’S WIFE WALKS INTO THE LAKE, FUCKS THE GIANT LAKE DICK, AND GETS OUT OF THE WATER, LEAVING HER HUSBAND REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED. 

WHEN HIS WIFE HAS PUT HER CLOTHES BACK ON AND FUCKED OFF BACK TO THE HOUSE, KIVIUQ WALKS OVER TO THE LAKE AND SHOUTS AT IT UNTIL THE GIANT DICK EMERGES, AND THEN WADES INTO THE LAKE AND STABS THE DICK UNTIL IT’S DEAD. HE CUTS IT OFF AT THE BASE AND WALKS BACK TO TOWN, CARRYING THE FUCKING MASSIVE BLOODSTAINED SEVERED DICK WITH HIM. 

WHEN HE GETS HOME, HE COOKS THE DICK AND FEEDS IT TO HIS WIFE, BEFORE TELLING HER THAT HE KNOWS SHE CHEATED ON HIM WITH A FUCKING WEIRD LAKE DICK THING. THEN HE SETS HER ON FIRE AND LAUGHS AS SHE FUCKING BURNS TO DEATH.