intumesce

JAKE THE DOG FART MONTH - DAY THIRTEEN

ITS OVER. TIME HAS RUN OUT. AND I AM SO VERY EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNERS OF THIS VERY DIFFICULT BLAND PHLEGM THAT I HAD CREATED PREVIOUSLY FOR ALL TO PONDER. AT FIRST, I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN TOO INVASIVE, TOO INTUMESCENT FOR ALL OF YOU TO HANDLE. HOWEVER, AFTER GIVING YOU ADDITIONAL DAYS TO FIGURE OUT THE TRUE ANSWERS, AND PLACING NOTHING BUT FAITH IN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU… MY SUSPICIONS WERE SHATTERED. THEY WERE SHATTERED, AND REPLACED WITH CERTAINTY. BECAUSE I WAS RIGHT. NOT ONE OF YOU COMPLETED THIS BLAND PHLEGM CHALLENGE. NOT. ONE. FOR SO LONG I HAD WAITED FOR YOU. EACH INDIVIDUAL GLOBULE HAD HEAVED AND HEAVED UNTIL THERE WAS NO MORE HEAVING TO BE DONE. AND STILL I WAS MET WITH NOTHING BUT SILENCE. OH, MY FRIENDS, I DO APOLOGIZE. I AM NOT ANGRY WITH YOU. NO! NOT EVEN YOU! OR YOU! PLEASE DO NOT MISTAKE MY EXUMALITY FOR ANGER. I AM ONLY DISAPPOINTED. BUT DO NOT WEEP. THERE WILL BE MORE CHALLENGES. MORE CHANCES. AND YOU WILL SUCCEED. I KNOW YOU WILL.

OH! AND NOW THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE. LOOK ABOVE. THE CORRECT ANSWERS TO THIS BLAND PHLEGM CHALLENGE (WHICH NONE OF YOU ANSWERED)(BUT I AM NOT ANGRY). IS IT STARTING TO SINK IN? YES. JUST LIKE IN THE REAL WORLD, THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS JAKE THE DOG FARTING. NUMBER ONE. C. JAKE THE DOG FARTING. NUMBER TWO. C. JAKE THE DOG FARTING. NUMBER THREE. C. JAKE THE DOG FARTING. NUMBER FOUR. C. JAKE THE DOG FARTING. NUMBER FIVE. A B AND C. JAKE THE DOG FARTING. AND THAT IS ALL OF THE QUESTIONS. IF THERE WAS ANOTHER QUESTION, PERHAPS NAMED QUESTION SIX, THEN THE ANSWER WOULD MOST DEFINITELY BE C. JAKE THE DOG FARTING. CANT YOU C (HAHAHAHAH)??? IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW MANY QUESTIONS ARE ON THIS BLAND PHLEGM CHALLENGE. OR HOW MANY QUESTIONS YOU ARE MET WITH IN YOUR OWN LIFE. THE ANSWER IS JAKE THE DOG FARTING. THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS JAKE THE DOG FARTING.