intriguingadventuresof

Accursed Woods

Sometimes, I think the creator of this room decided, without ever realizing it, to construct it just to infuriate people of my (admittedly pathetic) lifestyle. And no, I’m not talking about the fact that my door is the only one wit a big glass window in it for convenient parental/sibling inspection... I’m talking about the doors to the terrace.

My house sits upon a nice big plot of woodland, which is awesome, until you consider the fact that it means that there is a giant awesome forest filled with cool stuff my grandpa made right outside my door, and I am still sitting here for the second week in a row not being in it. THE DOORS OUTSIDE ARE ALSO MADE OF GLASS, FOR PETE’S SAKE.

I can see the forest right there, taunting me, little floofy branches poking out everywhere all impudent-like. It’s like the whole forest is saying “Haha, come on, get out of there you sedentary ass!” And, of course, I rarely, rarely do.

Curse you, glass doors, curse you forever.

QUIETLY PANICS ALL OVER THE PLACE

I am, alas, sick, thus explaining my recent lack of posts. I’ve got a pretty terrible headache, and my enjoyment of tumblr is, as always, inversely proportional to how tired/sick I am feeling at any given time. To prevent myself from bitching all over the place, I have decided to, instead, inform you folks that I am indeed sick, and also panicky and such.

((The panic results from the fact that my auditions are tomorrow and I am feeling very sick and I am worried that I’ll miss them))
Well, it’s not like anyone really cares about the state of my current well-being in any case, but I thought it prudent to inform those who, impossibly, do find themselves in a position to worry.

Anyway… cheerio! See you folks when I’m less down in the dumps. =|:S

Kawaii-itude

Apparently, it has now become the practice of several people to refer to me and my varying exploits as “kawaii,” both in real life and on the vast and unknowable interwebs.

Now, I, being an inquisitive and curious sort, decided to investigate this term with regards to myself.

Kawaii An adjective in Japanese meaning “ pretty; cute; lovely; charming; dear; darling; pet” It’s stem is two kanji meaning “can love”. It is commonly used by anime and manga fans. Chibiusa-chan’s new outfit is so kawaii!

> Look in mirror: gaze upon not-at-all manly peachfuzz stubble dotting upper lip

> Haven’t gotten dressed because you woke up at 4:30; is wearing yesterday’s vaguely smelly school clothes, hair looks like a bird’s nest

> …

> Friends assure: “STILL KAWAII”

First Rant is GO - Jake

((ATTENTION: THE FOLLOWING RANT WAS MADE FOR SOLELY HUMOROUS PURPOSES ON A REQUEST AND SHOULD IN NO WAY BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. I AM REALLY FINE WITH JAKE AND WHATEVER PORTRAYALS THE FANDOM PLACES UPON HIM. THANK YOU.))

Hello, Homestuck fandom. 

I would say that it’s been a long time, but everyone knows it hasn’t been. You and I are still, as always, locked in our deadly dance, me with my ranting, you with your complete insanity. Me with my logical, reasonable consideration, you with your refusal to acknowledge even the simplest laws of the universe.

Yes, this includes physics. Just think on that for a moment. You know what I mean.

And, now, me with my insistence on allowing any character some scrap of dignity and your decision to give said character SHORT SHORTS. 

Holy hell. 

(Note: I am, alas, not aware of the original creator of this image, or I would note them here. If anyone who reads this is aware, please notify me immediately.)

((Note-note: ALL STATEMENTS THAT FOLLOW WITH REGARDS TO THIS IMAGE ARE DONE FOR THE PURPOSES OF RANT AND ARE NOT MEANT TO DISS THIS IMAGE’S CREATOR. I DO NOT GENUINELY WISH TO DO SO, PERSON WHO ORIGINALLY MADE THIS IMAGE.))

Oh god, this picture is making my mind bleed. 

How, homestuck fandom? How? Now, I really don’t care how you personally perceive Jake. For all I know, this is genuinely what you imagine him to do with his spare time, and, really, that’s fine. This comic was made for insane headcanons. You can go on imagining fifteen-year-olds engaging in similar acts as much as you wish. Hell, as a member of the fandom, criticizing that would be insanely hypocritical.BUT THERE IS A POINT WHERE I HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE. 

And that point… 

Is SHORT SHORTS. 

I have created a scale. A scale ranging from “The Fucks I Give Are None” to…

Wait for it…

SHORT SHORTS. 

Look at this picture, people. This is Jake English portrayed in a more symbolic manner.

Now, look at that picture. Then look at the one above it. Look at that picture. Then look at the one above it. 

My dear, dear fandom, I am sorry. There is no way in heaven or hell that Jake English’s shorts could be construed as being short. 

Look at that picture from the comic. Those are some goddamn roomy mofos. Look at them, they’re so baggy he has to keep a belt on at all times just to prevent those slippery little things from escaping from below. Hell, Jake could probably keep his full ballistics collection in those things.

Not that I’m advocating images of Jake English stuffing guns down his pants, of course. Those probably already exist somewhere anyway, considering that it’s THIS fandom.

Can’t you see, fandom? Can’t you see?

Continue portraying characters however you like, whether it be secretly-a-balloon-animal!John or undercover-vaudeville-star!Slick, but just remember, whenever you look at a picture of Jake English and decide “Hehehe, he must have short shorts,” what you’re doing is not just lightly twisting something about a character but BLATANTLY DESTROYING THAT CHARACTER’S VERY IMAGE. 

Ok, so secretly-a-balloon-animal!John might be a bit worse, come to think of it. But he doesn’t exist, so it doesnt-

Wait, I’m receiving a dispatch from my dispatch-receiver-droid, Gibson. Just a moment. 

What’s that, Gibson? 

…It does exist?

Well. 

Thank you, fandom. You may have won this round, but I assure you, YOU SHALL NOT WIN THE NEXT! Our perpetual battle shall not cease until either I, or you, or both of us are perished amongst the fallen and desecrated corpses of the characters we love. 

Forever awaiting your next move,

– intriguingAdventurer 

Nostalgia + Terror

The discovery that, many years ago, I used to chat like this.

8:53 PM me: I did it! I madez teh screenshot! me: Iz not finished… but iz still kewl!
 me: I spritez it mahself- ‘scept for the backround, too hard
“I iz doin it?” “I spritez it mahself?” Dear lord, I talked like a real-life lolcat. Oh, for the sins of the past… … On that note, a serious of image macros starring myself would be interesting. Maybe… LOL-FANCYMAN? No, wait, that’s stupid. I’ll come up with something eventually. Until then, – intriguingAdventurer (lulz)