into this blog

2 am update

Oh god

I didn’t realize that for this scholarship I have to get the school to send a copy of my transcript

I bought an official transcript myself

I’m so

Fucked

I sent them a super super apologetic email basically begging them to accept what I have at least as a placeholder until I can request the school to send one, bc it has to be postmarked by April 1

On top of that, I fucking LOST my PTK paperwork and I need to print that and it’s 2 am and I just went upstairs and realized I can’t fucking find it

If I don’t get the paperwork done I won’t get into PTK. If I don’t get the $3,000 scholarship, I’m going to have to come up with that money on my own.

On top of that I’m not prepared for my sociology test, I haven’t started my social psych, and I’m just a hot anxious stressed mess

And I have a $900 bill to pay for my summer classes

Like I literally just sat down and cried for a solid 10 minutes because I can’t deal with responsibilities and needing to be on top of stuff and responsible for my own finances and I know that’s dumb bc like I’m 20 but all the 20 year olds I know aren’t paying for college and they don’t have to feel this constant WEIGHT and stress because I’m relying on this scholarship to go through

I’ll apply to more and I’m just hoping I’ll get one but I literally

Anyway if you’re religious or whatever I would appreciate prayers (I’m not religious but I super appreciate it when people say they’re praying for me? My spirituality is complicated, but I do believe in praying) and if not just your tacit support and good vibes I guess

I mean short of printing and filling out the paperwork for me, or writing the rest of my fee waiver essay, or taking my test for me or just taking the entire wheel while I try to breathe… there’s nothing anyone can do

It just feels like I’m doing the work of two people and I just need like one other set of hands and mental energy to pick up the slack man if I could I would get an assistant

But if I had an assistant I would obviously not be needing money lmao

I’m just exhausted and stressed. But I need to sleep bc I have an early day tomorrow, and a test, and just hella stuff to do.

Oh, and I still don’t know how I’m getting back from the PTK social, bc my dad won’t drive there to pick me up since it’s p far from where I live, and my only friend in PTK can’t give me a ride. But if I can’t go to the social I literally can’t be inducted into PTK and I need to be like that is not an option.

UGH okay okay it’s going to be okay and by Friday morning it will all be better and I’ll at least be able to breathe yup ok

anonymous asked:

How do you design such pretty dresses for your characters? I can't even dress one of my ocs let alone all the other characters you do! You are so awesome

hi anon,

thank you! i’m glad you like them. i normally look at stuff in my fashion tag or just think of shapes + apply detail and sections of colours according to what would look…nicest orz

i’d suggest you look at fashion blogs or concept art of characters that have a similar look and make a list of what they’re wearing exactly (e.g. jacket, hoodie, shirt, belt, jeans, sneakers); even something small like belts or visible socks make a difference

Like you don’t understand I’m legitimately terrified of how I’m going to manage all of this, and how I’m gonna do on this sociology test

But I studied and I did my best. I procrastinated and I wasn’t all there, but I did my absolute best and I can’t always do 110%. I already have like a 98.5% average in that class so I have a little slack. And it’s only 2.5 hours MAX of my life.

Plus it’s one grade. Literally one grade. I’m not gonna be held back by one grade. In fact, getting below an A on this test doesn’t dash any hopes of getting an A as a final grade. Getting less than a 4.0 doesn’t ruin my chances of being a successful passionate self fulfilled researcher (or ya know if the writing thing works out).

So I’m just gonna do my fucking best and take it one step at a time. I gotta get through my soc test first, and then I’ll have a couple hours to deal with the other stuff.