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INTJ x ISFJ - Monologues
  • [INTJ and ISFJ are lying in bed talking about random things]
  • ISFJ: Oh! Can you explain why?
  • INTJ: (proceeds to give not a 1 minute explanation but a 5-10 minute monologue)
  • ISFJ: (Too nice to just cut INTJ off)
  • [10 minutes in]
  • INTJ: ISFJ? Are you asleep?
  • ISFJ: (opens eyes and pretends to be awake the whole time) Hm, what?
  • INTJ: You fell asleep.
  • ISFJ: No, I didn't!
  • INTJ: Then what did I just say?
  • ISFJ: Something about the EU...needing...something...
  • INTJ: Uh huh, uh huh. I talked about the EU half way in.
  • ISFJ: ... ... ...See! I was listening!
  • INTJ: You always fall asleep when I talk.
  • ISFJ: No, I don't.
  • INTJ: Yes, you do. This isn't the first time. (looks away)
  • ISFJ: Your voice just has a nice cadence to it... (makes big sad kitten eyes)
  • INTJ: (squeezes and kisses face) Okay, Squishy. You little bullshitter.
A man walks into a bar with his dog.

A man walks into a bar with his dog.

“This is a talking dog. If this dog can answer my questions, who will buy me a drink?” he asks.

“You can have one on the house,” the bartender says.

The man turns to his dog. “What goes on the top of a house?”

Dog: Roof.

Man: “What does tree bark feel like?”

Dog: Rough.

Man: “Who is the greatest baseball player ever?”

Dog: Ruth.

The bartender is clearly annoyed and snaps at the man. “That’s enough. You and your dog, get out.”

After the man and the dog are thrown out, the dog looks sadly at his owner. “Should I have said DiMaggio?”