intimate partner violence (ipv)

Mickey Deserved Better, But...

Here’s the thing, I’m the first one to say Mickey deserved better. But think about what that really entails. What we actually mean when we say he deserved better, is that he deserves to be happy. Ergo: He deserves Ian. Because, Ian made him happy.

Originally posted by mickeyandmumbles

I’ve seen a lot of commentary about how Mickey loved Ian more. Some weird internet pissing contest because, let’s face it, Mickey is love goals isn’t he? He’s a man who went from this scared shitless, self-hating, insecure child and grew into a strong, caring, and passionate man. One you’d kill to have fight for you. He came out of the closet for Ian. 

Let me emphasize that point. In a homophobic upbringing, environment, in front of the man that literally beat the shit out of him for being gay, (before having him raped by a prostitute to “fuck the faggot” out of him); Mickey Milkovich came out as gay, in a dive bar on the Southside, for Ian Gallagher. Whether you love or hate Mickey, that is goddamn significant.

Originally posted by nerds-place

Now, possible domestic abuse issues aside, cuz, let’s face it folks: we’re cutting both Ian and Mickey a lot of slack when it comes to the fact that there was physical abuse in their relationship. But that’s what makes it so beautifully real. It’s not that the writers are glorifying an unhealthy relationship, or even that the fans are. It’s real. This is EXACTLY what it would look like if two, fucked up, Southside thugs, fell in love against the societal expectations of their socioeconomic status and environment. And to quote Tupac, their love is a rose that grew from the concrete. 

THAT is what is so beautiful about this pairing. Again, I am not advocating or condoning IPV (Intimate Partner Violence), which is actually a problem in the LGBT community; what I am saying is the reason there’s an inordinate amount of people who ship Ian and Mickey is because they were a light at the end of a dark and dismal tunnel. Well, they were until reality literally bitchslapped both of them.

Originally posted by myemptymind

But I think there’s something pretty damn important we are all forgetting: and that’s the hell Mickey put Ian through in the beginning. I’m not trying to justify the shit Ian pulled after Mickey had his personal epiphany that made him into the man we have all grown to adore. But here’s the thing: Ian was falling for Mickey when shit was still raw and relatively unrequited.

Ian loved Mickey when he was still just a filthy thug. Ian loved Mickey, despite his refusal to kiss him. Ian loved Mickey, despite the serious internalized homophobia. Ian loved Mickey when he knew he shouldn’t, when Mickey made it clear that Ian was nothing more than a warm mouth to him.

Originally posted by mrsmilkovich

So, here’s the thing. Mickey deserved better… but so did Ian. They both deserved better. And what I mean by that, is not that Mickey deserved better than Ian, or Ian deserved better than Mickey. No. They both deserved to be happy. And honestly? They were their happiest together. Whatever bullshit aside, what their relationship represented was a love that managed to bloom from a dark and hopeless place. And if they could find love, couldn’t we all?

Originally posted by smuchshypush

Originally posted by smuchshypush

Thanks for reading my rant. <3

3

yikes!!!

(I didn’t include the Twitter screencaps, because I don’t want to be spreading the girl’s last name without her consent.)

(Kevin = AwestruckVox)

[((I. AM. LIVID.

PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU WATCH THE ROUNDTABLE (the steven universe theory channel)

Yo any of y'all who watch The Roundtable on youtube and know who Awestuck Vox is, please know that he’s an absolute fucking DICK. And I’ll give the entire story, since he had the fucking BALLS to release her name online.

You know who Alex is? His ex girlfriend, and one of my best friends. She’s one of the funniest, most caring, loveliest people I know, and she deserves absolutely no shit from this man.

At the beginning of their relationship, they were so sweet. We all envied them. They were perfect. But who became the emotionally abusive one? Him. He forced her to see him multiple, MULTIPLE times a week, and then accused her of not spending enough time with him and of being a horrible girlfriend. Whenever she asked him to do something with her, he typically brushed her off, but when he wanted to do something, he’d throw a bitch fit if she said no.

The first time I met him was at one of her plays. He never once looked up from his phone. He was on Twitter the entire time, even for the few seconds she had her speaking parts, which were SO IMPORTANT TO HER. Ironically enough, he was tweeting about Steven Universe, which is what his current youtube channel revolves around. That show was more important to him than caring for his girlfriend ever was.

She gave him everything and asked for so little back.

I remember how they broke up. His girlfriend, me, and two other friends had been planning to watch Eurovision together for MONTHS. And, unfortunately, one of those two friends had to have emergency surgery the day before. The three of us decided to continue with the party, and use that time with her to make sure she was doing okay. When Kevin’s girlfriend told him that we had planned this for ages, and that her best friend was recovering from surgery, he blew. A. Fucking. Tantrum. He wanted to see her the day of our party, and she said she had to take this one raincheck, and he wouldn’t allow it. He texted her for hours, guilt tripping her and even dragged /my name/ into the equation. After like 5 hours of her trying to explain that she really needed to miss this one day, she finally got tired of his shit and broke it off.

She’s now totally unwilling to date anyone anymore because of how horrifically she was treated by this man.

So, moral of the story:

Kevin is a fucking asshole and I hope karma fucking backhands him for treating my friend so fucking horribly and then feeling ENTITLED ENOUGH to post her name online.

Fuck you, Kevin. Congrats on being an absolute douchebag.))]

Rain in New Jersey devouring the landscape
like those mythic dragons of another time,
another country. The train window frames it

like ink scrolls of brooding masters,
and now the shingle-roofed towns unroll
one after the other, panoramas

of domestic assurances, warm rooms,
nights with beer and TV. I’m only looking in,
and fictive homes are turning on their lamps,

and I remember mother taking me on the train
out of Manila—I was four or five, and we sat
at the station and she said you could hear it coming,

first the thunder and then the charged heat
and full stop to stillness. We were running away
but never too far nor too long, because each time

there was nowhere far enough to go.
Her face was purple with bruises, which she hid
with paste the color of early sky. In a day or two

father would be weeping in her arms,
then we’d be home watching TV. Here you feel
the pull of perpetual motion, the blunt gunmetal

of the tracks and the empty stations, the fierce
rush towards and away from absence.
In Eliseo Subiela’s Hombre Mirando al Sudeste

an alien has chosen to come to an asylum
to study the earth, and wonders why so much beauty
leaves us emptier, more solitary. And when he finds

no answers, he dies like humans do,
numb with morphine, unable to dissect
the filaments of love. Mother and I always came back

on the same train: the same fake leather seats,
the smell of condiments and rotten produce,
the landscape unreeling backwards. Thirty years later

I am still watching tracks, I try not to look back
too much, I believe beauty is a hint of storm
but it could be anything, the way the alien found it

everywhere, in Beethoven or a frozen brain—
dawn, the perfect ink of it, the nervous arrival
of familiars, and the stillness recurring without fail.

Eric Gamalinda, “Motion Sickness”

So many people keep talking about whether or not “radical Islam” taught Omar Mateen that it was okay to hate LGBT people, and that compelled him to buy a gun and butcher innocent people. That could have been the case. Or it could have been internalized homophobia. Or mental illness. Or any combination of the three. We’ll never be able to know for sure.

Here’s something we do know for sure: Mateen was violent and abusive towards his wife on multiple occasions. And we know that he got away with it every single time, despite the fact that other people knew about it. We know that people feel entitled to abuse others because they think that their need to feel power trumps the safety and well-being of those around them. And because Mateen was able to get away with his abuse, time and time again, he was essentially being told, time and time again, that his behavior was okay.

We also know that Mateen is certainly not the only person to grab a firearm and shoot up a public place. It’s no secret that mass shootings are frighteningly common in the US. And every time they happen, we’re always quick to point the finger towards root causes like “radical Islam”, white nationalism, bigotry, mental illness…the list goes on. But here are a few bits of info that almost always get left out whenever we talk about mass shootings: between 2009 and 2012, 40% of mass shootings began with the perpetrator targeting a current or former intimate partner. According to analysis by the New York Times, nearly a third of mass shootings in 2015 were related to incidents of intimate partner violence. Those are just the instances where IPV had a direct connection to the incident in question. That’s not even counting the occasions when a shooter exhibited abusive behavior in the days, weeks, months, or even years leading up to the moment when they finally decided to pick up a gun and use it.

So if we really want to adequately address the problem of mass shootings and gun violence in the United States, then we can’t ignore the fact that, regardless of each perpetrator’s apparent motivation(s), there’s one thing that a very large number of them have in common. It isn’t a religion or an ideology or a belief system; it’s a tendency to abuse the vulnerable people closest to them first.

As Unbreakable expands to include Intimate Partner Violence and Child Abuse we’d like to take a moment to define Intimate Partner Violence or IPV.

As defined by the CDC- The term “intimate partner violence” describes physical, sexual, or psychological harm by a current or former partner or spouse. This type of violence can occur among heterosexual or same-sex couples and does not require sexual intimacy.

We invite survivors of intimate partner violence and child abuse (in any form - physical, verbal, emotional, financial, etc) to take part in Unbreakable.

If you are interested in participating in Unbreakable you can submit a photograph of yourself holding a poster with a quote from your abuser to projectunbreakablesubmissions@gmail.com. We kindly ask that you note which subject you are submitting to in the subject line - “intimate partner violence” or “child abuse”.

Thank you,
The Unbreakable Team

huffingtonpost.com
Bisexuality And Intimate Partner Violence: Enabled And Encouraged
Given the extraordinary rates of intimate partner violence globally, when an identity is pathologized as one that is insatiably sexual then it's really n...

“Given the extraordinary rates of intimate partner violence globally, when an identity is pathologized as one that is insatiably sexual then it’s really no surprise that bisexual people are more likely than gay or straight people to experience intimate partner violence (IPV), but it is still a tragedy.”

anonymous asked:

Sorry to break it to you, but youre a straight white privileged women in a first world country. Women in first world countries arent oppressed (no, wage gap doesnt exist neither does patriarchy). In fact, women have more rights than men in first world countries. That's why feminism is toxic. It preaches myths and opinions like facts.Men are just as sexualized as woman, men had to fight to show nipples just like women, men are victims of crimes just like women. Quit riding on the victim card.

Well, lets start out by saying that I am aware of my social position and I can recognize that I am privileged and do not suffer from many of the oppressions that women from the Global South experience. But that being said oppression and misfortune and inequality is NOT a competition. Every oppression and injustice is valid and needs to be remedied. However, women DO NOT have more rights than men in any first world countries. That is a complete load of bullshit. Men have the right to have control over their own bodies and not have the government brought into conversations regarding pregnancies and birth control. Men are able to walk down the street or go out to a bar with their friends and not worry that they are going to get taken advantage of and sexually assaulted. In addition to that men LITERALLY control our country. The power of our entire country and many other first world country lies in the hands of men.

I like to call this patriarchy: 

  • 99 female members of Congress overall, out of 535 members. That’s only 18.5% of Congress.
  • 20 female senators, or 20% (16 Democrats, 4 Republicans).
  • 79 female Representatives, or 18.2% (60 Democrats, 19 Republicans).
  • In addition, there are three female delegates, representing Guam, the Virgin Islands, and Washington DC. (http://www.nwpc.org/statistics)

IN ADDITION 

Women are 50.8 percent of the U.S. population.

  • They earn almost 60 percent of undergraduate degrees, and 60 percent of all master’s degrees.
  • They earn 47 percent of all law degrees, and 48 percent of all medical degrees.
  • They earn more than 44 percent of master’s degrees in business and management, including 37 percent of MBAs.
  • They are 47 percent of the U.S. labor force, and 59 percent of the college-educated, entry-level workforce.

And yet…

Although they hold almost 52 percent of all professional-level jobs, American women lag substantially behind men when it comes to their representation in leadership positions:

  • They are only 14.6 percent of executive officers, 8.1 percent of top earners, and 4.6 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs.
  • They hold just 16.9 percent of Fortune 500 board seats.
  • In the financial services industry, they make up 54.2 percent of the labor force, but are only 12.4 percent of executive officers, and 18.3 percent of board directors. None are CEOs.
  • They account for 78.4 percent of the labor force in health care and social assistance but only 14.6 percent of executive officers and 12.4 percent of board directors. None, again, are CEOs.
  • In the legal field, they are 45.4 percent of associates—but only 25 percent of nonequity partners and 15 percent of equity partners.
  • In medicine, they comprise 34.3 percent of all physicians and surgeons but only 15.9 percent of medical school deans.
  • In information technology, they hold only 9 percent of management positions and account for only 14 percent of senior management positions at Silicon Valley startups.

Furthermore…

  • Although women control 80 percent of consumer spending in the United States, they are only 3 percent of creative directors in advertising.
  • Their image onscreen is still created, overwhelmingly, by men.
  • Women accounted for just 16 percent of all the directors, executive producers, producers, writers, cinematographers, and editors who worked on the top-grossing 250 domestic films of 2013, and were just 28 percent of all offscreen talent on broadcast television programs during the 2012-13 primetime season.
  • When, however, there are more women behind the camera or at the editor’s desk, the representation of women onscreen is better: Films written or directed by women consistently feature a higher percentage of female characters with speaking roles. (https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/women/report/2014/03/07/85457/fact-sheet-the-womens-leadership-gap/)

And this is first world countries, might I add. 

I am not saying that men do not have their problems, because they do. And yes, men are becoming more sexualized in media and feeling an increasing pressure on their appearance and conforming to beauty standards. But, they are not sexualized and JUDGED by their appearance in the way that women are and they are still more valuable in society when they do not conform and meet these standards.

And again, yes men are victims of crimes. Men are victims of rapes and domestic violence. That is completely true and more people should take that seriously. Often, these claims by men are brushed off and ignored because it is a crime that happens to women most often. But what needs to be recognized is that women are significantly more likely to be victimized by rape, sexual assault, and intimate partner violence than men.

  • On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year.[i]
  • Nearly 3 in 10 women (29%) and 1 in 10 men (10%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by a partner and report a related impact on their functioning.[ii]
  • Nearly, 15% of women (14.8%) and 4% of men have been injured as a result of IPV that included rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.[iii]
  • 1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.[iv]
  • IPV alone affects more than 12 million people each year.[v]
  • More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.[vi]
  • Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively).[vii]
  • Females ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 generally experienced the highest rates of intimate partner violence.[viii]
  • From 1994 to 2010, about 4 in 5 victims of intimate partner violence were female.[ix]
  • Most female victims of intimate partner violence were previously victimized by the same offender, including 77% of females ages 18 to 24, 76% of females ages 25 to 34, and 81% of females ages 35 to 49.[x] (http://www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/)

These are all facts. 

I am not claiming victimhood and never have. All of the feminists and those who fight toward equality are strong and motivated people and none of them, while many have been victimized, claim their identity as victim. 

You need to check yourself.