interviews: noel clarke

8

The Christmas Invasion - Behind the Scenes [Part 12]

Excerpt from Benjamin Cook’s articles in Doctor Who Magazine #365

“Buckle down, folks,” calls out John Older [first assistant director], his voice resonating around the caves [representing the inside of the Sycorax ship], “cos it’s very difficult to work in here. Let’s go for a take…”

“The door!” screams Billie. “Close the door!”

Noel spins around. As the Sycorax grabs him, he manages to pull the TARDIS door shut just in time. Slam! Door closes. Well, not quite.

“Er - he didn’t close the door,” says Jon. “It’s swung back open.”

“Oh fiddlesticks,” cries Noel, frustrated. “That TARDIS door is such a naughty old thing.”

Actually, that’s not exactly what Noel said. I’m paraphrasing. But this is a family magazine, so let’s just leave it.

“Okay, Noel, you blew the plot,” laughs James [Hawes, director]. “If the door doesn’t close, we’re screwed.”

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9

The Christmas Invasion - Behind the Scenes [Part 11]

Excerpt from Benjamin Cook’s articles in Doctor Who Magazine #365

[Benjamin Cook asking David Christmas-themed questions]

BC: Which gift from ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ would you most like to receive this year?

DT: If the pipers piping were Billie Pipers, then obviously I’d go for that. But that would be quite creepy. It’s got to be ladies dancing, hasn’t it? I mean, there’s not really much contest. Five golden rings you could flog, if they were really nice. But I don’t think you’d get much for them.

BC: If there were five of them, they’re unlikely to be top-notch quality.

DT: Well thought through. I mean, all the others would just be irritating, frankly. And dirty. Colley birds? French hens? Yes, you could eat them, but then you’d have to murder them yourself. I don’t want to do that at Christmas. That’s far too much effort. I want a shrink-wrapped turkey from Sainsbury’s. No, ladies dancing - much better. They can come and dance in my Christmas parlour.

BC: What’s the worst Christmas record of all time?

DT: Ooh jings. No, there’ve got to be some terrible ones, haven’t there? Well, anything by Cliff Richard. Mistletoe and Wine? It’s got to be Mistletoe and Wine. That is a heinous piece of work, isn’t it? My mum likes it. She likes everything by Cliff Richard. But she is wrong! It’s saccharine, and repulsive, and when all those kids start singing at the end, you just want to murder. It’s horrible.

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David: *while dancing* I’M TOTALLY NAILING THIS WHOLE “SEXY” THING

Billie: oh hey Dav- i’m not fucking dealing with this again David, you do this every damn time. *promptly turns around in frustration*

David: *keeps dancing* THIS IS MY SEXY FACE, BILLIE. YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT.

Noel: Jesus Christ, why do I deal with this.