internet wardrobe

What To Wear To Convince Your New Boss You’re An Adult But Still Look Like A Super Cool Millennial

So, you and your suit you got at The Limited have made it past the interview process and finally landed a soul-sucking corporate job. Yay! You have a cublicle and everything! But, wait. Before you start imagining the taste of that good ol’ break room Folger’s, you have to address the way you dress.

Unless you’re working for a super-cool start-up, you’re probably surrounded by super professional people who won’t really appreciate you throwing a cropped blazer over a bandage dress and calling it business casual. But you don’t wanna look boring, everyday. After all, what if Jacob in the mailroom invites you out for happy hour? Do you really wanna dress to impress in chinos? No. You don’t. That’s why I’m here to help.

Update the tried and true pencil skirt + white blouse combo with a printed or brightly colored skirt. Make sure your skirt is knee length and not more than 5% spandex, to keep it professional, but also, don’t be afraid to go for assymmetrical hems, unique textures or details like a self-tie belt. Finish the whole thing with a nude pump or flat. 

If you’re a truly stylish Child of the Internet, you’ve cultivated a wardrobe of too-short tops and are struggling to find something you can tuck in as per the dress code packet HR gave you on your first day. Rock a crop top during business hours by hiding your inappropriate and distracting one-inch sliver of tummy with high-waisted big-girl-trousers and a blazer. You’ll be ready to get go get cosmos with Wanda from finance right when the clock strikes 5. Just don’t wear anything too low-cut or high-cut for that matter, otherwise the jig is up.

Can you wear leggings to the office? The answer is yes, but, you’re going to have to go back to middle school rules and make sure the shirt covers both your crotch and butt. Go with an oversized blouse and a cool loafer and take the butterfly clips out of your hair so people stop asking if you’re an intern.