internet terminology

FRIDAY, JULY 1ST, 2016

E. Despard

Good evening. I am writing to inform you that I am not wholly pleased with my inclusion as a “contributor” on you little online “blog” series. As you can no doubt tell from my usage of “internet” terminology, I have clearly excelled in my new position at Durmstrang.

We are now a shining example of technological enlightenment, including such advances as wireless fidelity waves that permeate the air with muggle codes and scripts, a machine capable of “faxing” documents in mere minutes, and most importantly I have reached 150 lines on your “Tetris” virtual simulation.

Finally I would like to address Emily. I am sure that you find great humor in the “gift” that you bestowed to me before my departure. I’ll have you know that the spell that hexed that device was easy to reverse, and I only have two discolored toes and a spot of purple behind my left ear to remember it by.

Kids on the internet working out new terminology and concepts to express hyper specific gender/sexual identities isn’t going to bring the Revolution, but neither will grown fucking adults bullying children who are only trying to figure themselves out. 

So maybe chill. 

It’s a fucking blessing that queer kids coming up today have access to so many more resource and are able to find online communities and can assert their own ideas about who they are, and some of you aren’t even 30 yet and you act like the living embodiment of “old man yells at cloud.”