- me: i'm fine
- me, internally: [having a high stakes anime sword battle with the god of impulse control and poor decision making] FUCK
This casifer thing is so heartbreaking for Dean for so many reasons, but i wonder if it's also the first time he's actually been afraid that Cas might die. I mean they've all been faced with their own and each others mortality plenty of times, but i wonder if it's ever hit Dean quite like this with Cas. Cas has always managed to return, but this is a bit different and i wonder if Dean is now letting himself fully confront the fact that Cas might not come back.