internalized misogyny

I hate when people act like makeup is inherently feminist and if you don’t like it you have internalized misogyny but I also can’t stand those girls who think they’re better than us dumb girly-girl whores that do wear it ya feel?

if you were previously homophobic but realize you were wrong: that’s ok, u are learning
if you are struggling with internalized misogyny: that’s ok too, keep fighting to overcome the sexism that society perpetuates
if you were accidentally trans phobic but are fixing it: great, we need everyone on our side
if at any point u were wrong and are trying to fix it: we accept you and we were all there. keep working to be a good person

Unlearn internalized misogyny in your writing.

  • Femininity is not weakness 
  • Softness is not bad 
  • It is possible to enjoy both traditionally​ male activities and traditionally female activities 
  • Other women are not amoral temptresses or rivals 
  • There’s nothing wrong with a woman knowing she’s attractive 
  • There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be attractive 
  • Attractiveness has no bearing on sexual desire or history 
  • Being sexually active has no bearing in a woman’s morals or character 
  • Not being sexually active has no bearing in a woman’s morals or character 
  • Weight is not a value judgment 
  • Attractiveness is not a value judgment 
  • Able-bodiedness is not a value judgment
  • The ability to bear children has no bearing on womanhood
  • The desire or decision whether to have children has no bearing on womanhood
  • Women can and do support each other, even when they’re working towards different goals 
  • Women can be friends even when they want different things 
  • Thin white women don’t have exclusive rights to femininity 
  • Butch women are just as validly women 
  • Queer women are just as validly women 
  • Women can be as vicious, cruel, petty, racist, homophobic, misogynistic, and abusive as men, and they shouldn’t be excused from it because of their gender 
  • Being a woman has nothing to do with genitals, chromosomes, or physical presentation
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White men didn’t win the election for Trump — white female misogynists did

According to exit polls, 53% of white women, many of them college-educated and many of them young, chose Trump. In doing so, they didn’t just turn their backs on the opposing candidate; they stood on the backs of others — people of color, immigrants, LGBTQ people — to maintain a social order in which they too are second-class citizens. Feminist writer Ariel Levy has a blunt, 3-word term for these women.

Feminism isn’t a hot air balloon designed to lift already privileged ladies to new joyful heights. Those women are thinking of “girl power” or “bootyliciousness” or “domestic feminism”—some other term that was intended to act as a milquetoast substitute for actual feminism. Feminism is a life raft. Unlike “girl power,” feminism is scary, because it demands change, and does not just entail sexily singing that women are terrific.

Black Pink debuts: They’re copying 2NE1

CLC has a comeback: They’re copying 4Minute

Red Velvet debuts: They’re the walmart version of F(X)

Gfriend debuts: They’re Apink wannabes

Apink Debuts: They’re copying SNSD

Twice debuts: They’re just trying to be SNSD

Seohyun has solo debut: She’s copying Ariana Grande

Girl/Girl Group does anything = being criticized


Boy Groups: Literally do the same shit over and over again

You guys:

Me:

Before I became radicalised as a man-hating, separatist feminzai hell-bent on installing a matriarchy and imprisoning men as its slaves, I possessed a nominal amount of internalised misogyny. Women were bitchy and mean. They cared about irrelevant rubbish and talked in loud, shrill voices. Their laughter was annoying and tinny, and they did it performatively and too often. Women were boring and dumb, especially if they were pretty and nice.


Were I born a few years later, I’ve no doubt that I could have easily fallen into the horrifying hole that is Women Against Feminism. Being down on other girls was a gesture to reassure all the boys around me that while I may have looked vaguely like a girl on the outside, I wasn’t really like a girl-girl. 


Like so many girls caught in this trap, it wasn’t enough for me to be considered an intellectual and social equal by men (because really, that’s what a lot of this scrabbling for their approval comes back to—the misplaced desire to achieve equality for ourselves by being welcomed into the inner sanctum rather than to destroy the sanctum and redefine the dynamic entirely); I also had to climb a tower made of the discarded and disdained bodies of other women in order to prove myself worthy to enter.


Because I was born a girl, I was taught to fundamentally distrust other women. Whether it arises as bullying, cruelty, or viciously-applied sexism, girls are separated from each other (and from organising into a bloc of power) by being encouraged to view each other as competition for male approval.

—  Clementine Ford, Fight Like A Girl

have you ever thought about how western culture has such strict gender roles that we assign genders to emotions? have you thought about how extremely harmful that is?

we’re taught all our lives to associate anger, violence, and any feeling or action that’s even remotely “aggressive” with masculinity (and, on the flip side, to associate helplessness and submissiveness with femininity). which is awful, because from birth our culture is telling little boys that they’re supposed to be aggressive and confrontational, and that they aren’t “real men” if they don’t like confrontation or can’t handle themselves in a fight, while simultaneously teaching little girls that they’re supposed to take a passive role in their own lives and that it’s “unladylike” to stand up for themselves or to be outspoken about their opinions. 

that’s pretty messed up, dude. 

Explaining Molly as a "Mirror"

Since I’ve been asked about this specifically a number of times I thought it would be helpful to just make a post.

So “Molly is John’s mirror” not some clever subtext that someone in the tinfoil hat brigade discovered. It is, in fact, a very old trope of the “Ms. Male” or “Distaff counterpart” that certain fans are applying here.

Basically it means taking a male character, slapping a female signifier on him, and voila! Same shit, new character.

One of the most recognizable examples is Ms. Pac Man. In order to appeal to the female market. Media Execs simply slap a lipstick and bow on whatever they happen to be making at that moment and hey! look! inclusivity! Buy our stuff, dumb ladies!

Here are some reasons why this is problematic:

1. It diminishes the female character’s role to her relationship with a male.

2. It does not leave room for dimension as this character is not her own person. She is merely a “girl version” of someone else.

3. It reduces female identity to shitty gendered signifiers (pink, frills, sparkles etc…)

Usually this goes hand in hand with the “Smurfette principle”. Where women are tokenized as the “girl” in an all-male cast. She may be a character that has other qualities but the one given highest import is that she is female in a way that remains very rigidly within the scope of the social gender binary.

This is not how Molly Hooper was written. She’s being read that way by fans who have a lot of internalized misogyny that they are projecting onto her character.

So far the only overlap I have seen is that Molly likes ugly jumpers and she’s nice.

But Molly wears ugly jumpers far more often than John, yet it’s a characteristic that belongs to him by default?

And let’s be honest, John is really not that nice. I mean sometimes kinda, but only if there’s something in it for him. (eg: getting to be the “hero”, flirting with women, looking superior to Sherlock) but apart from that, he’s just kind of a jerk who treats his non-neurotypical friend like some lovable “idiot savant”. Any one of us who met him in person would probably instantly label him as a “fuckboy” because well… the shoe fits.

Molly has a level of kindness that is completely unprecedented. Her kindness and loyalty are her trademark characteristics and I, personally think, that it’s very not good to hand that off to John just to make him seem better or to apply more validation to a fan-made narrative that actively works to erase female characters.

It’s definitely something to unpack and examine.