internal narrative

Here’s to the girl who’s far from perfect. The one who’s confident yet completely insecure at the same time. Here’s to the girl who cares just a little too much. She loves with all of her heart yet pretends to have no emotions. She has her bad days and her really bad days, but most days are good and she’s thankful for that. She loves her family and friends, and she’s learning to love herself too. This girl is so extremely passionate, more than it even comes across. It is often her strength and her downfall. She wants to be swept off her feet, but will never be taken advantage of. She’s strong, but vulnerable in ways some will never know. She’s opinionated and a perfectionist and her mind is filled with the most beautifully outrageous dreams. So here’s to the girl who’s still trying to figure things out. The one who people might not know as well as they think they do.
—  Kiannah Joylinn (i’m in love with this. by far one of the most personal things i’ve ever written)

My favourite argument against bi!Dean is ‘BUT DEAN SAID HE WAS STRAIGHT’, because I just get to laugh a knowing little laugh & think to myself ‘Yeah, so did I. even believed it at the time, too

for real there’s nothing worse than seeing actual teenagers trot out the “your brain isn’t fully developed until you’re 25!” bullshit. that is a view of brain development that falls somewhere in the spectrum between “way oversimplified” and “just plain wrong”. it gets pushed and repeated because it helps prop up social norms that include robbing young people of autonomy and consent, regulating them out of the public sphere, and silencing their voices on important issues. and my heart just breaks to see teens internalizing this narrative of “you’re inherently stupid and untrustworthy because your brain is programmed to be shitty for another 10 years”. it’s like some kind of mass stockholm syndrome. young people please love yourselves and realize you do not have to wait until your mid-20s to be a whole and real person with the right to be taken seriously.

destielisgonnabecanon  asked:

hey there, i'm writing an essay about how destiel is real for a friend of mine and I was wondering what you think the most important pieces of meta that i should put in? can you recommend anything?

Hi - wow, that’s some dedication. All I did for my friends was send them some links - and, on one memorable occasion, I spent one entire 30 minutes conversation occasionally glancing at my (female&blinded by heteronormativity) friend’s lips instead of looking at her eyes, and by the end of it she was uncomfortable af and half convinced I was into her, and that’s when I presented her with a list of gifsets like -

- and basically dropped my mic and sashayed out.

(Man, I wish my hair was long enough to be flicked back.)

She changed her mind after that, by the way. And it’s really weird how most behaviours and gestures are used on screen precisely because we understand them as human things we all do on a deep level, and yet we’re suddenly unable to figure out what they mean if they’re not about a man and a woman. Uh.

(That applies to me as well, by the way. We see what we know about, not what is actually there, and that’s just inevitable - but can be unlearned, with some patience and many, many mistakes.)

Anyway, here are a bunch of things - I hope they’re useful.

Also, the entire S8, which was basically a demented Jane Eyre AU, and the entire S11, because, again, that Amara thing didn’t make sense without Destiel subtext, and finally @deanswingsbothways’ drunken rant (spoiler: contains the line “Destiel is not a story we are telling each other. Destiel is a story we are being told.” and bless).

You should also consider pimping your essay a bit, because there are a lot of posts and gifsets about how Destiel is regularly paralleled with canon couples on Supernatural, or follows the same rules as romantic relationships in movies. Here’s a bunch of them: Destiel and Sam/JessDestiel vs Dean/AnnaDestiel vs Sam/Amelia, Destiel vs David/VioletDestiel and Spuffy, Destiel and Clexa, Destiel and Phoebe/ColeDestiel vs Charlie/Gilda, Destiel vs every other couple on SupernaturalDestiel and Lucifer having funDestiel and romantic movies, Destiel and the Doctor, Destiel and Belle/Rumplestiltskin, Destiel and Tangled, Destiel and Saileen, and, of course, the beautiful and despairing trainwreck that was Repo Man.

And finally, there was that one time I went crazy and spent an entire weekend mapping every single love trope they’ve ever used around those two idiots in love, because I was just that fed up and the thing’s there, okay, and the more they say it’s not the more layers of tropes and mirrors and longing glances and narrative parallels they keep slathering on top of this thing, so, whatever and who even knows. At this point, you’re free to say it’ll never go canon because they’re homophobic or assume their audience is homophobic, and you’re free to say it’ll never go canon because of internal narrative reasons (God knows both Dean and Cas are never going to believe they’re actually good enough for each other), but to say there’s nothing there at all - that’s beyond whatever.

Anyway, my post is here, and these were the final conclusions:

As you may have guessed, this is something I’m sort of interested in - I came for the monsters and started to reblog stuff out of spite when I realized I was being treated like a crazy fangirl who sees love everywhere because women (right). If you’re looking for more sugary goodness, I tag stuff as destiel, spn meta (my own opinions), awesome meta (other people’s opinions), love tropes and parallels, and you can also have a look at some excellent meta writers who have eyes and therefore see Destiel and sometimes discuss it - people like @elizabethrobertajones​, @grey2510​, @tinkdw​, @bluestar86​, @mittensmorgul​, @floralmotif​, @k-vichan, @treefrogie84, @thevioletcaptain or @postmodernmulticoloredcloak (and I know I’m forgetting someone - that’s what sleeping four hours does to you, sorry). So, again - I know this post is a bit ‘join our cult’ (which is what you asked for, but still), but really - what I like about this fandom is that we can talk about stuff and we can disagree about stuff and still be friends, but this new idea currently spreading in the real world like wildfire - that not only you can have your own opinions (totally legit), but you can also have your own facts - nope. I hope your friend reads your essay (you’re welcome to share it, by the way) and sees that yes, there’s objectively something going on. If they still don’t, the final test is, “What if Cas were a woman? Would you see it then?” 

(And we all know the answer to that question, don’t we?)

Seriously, good luck.

EDIT - More great meta

( @destielisgonnabecanon - you’re welcome! Go win that bet! 😁)

For International Women’s Day, I want to tell you a little story that I just wrote my art history paper on. 

This is Judith Slaying Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschi. It depicts the violence of two women decapitating Holofernes’ head (one of the general’s of the King Nebuchadnezzar’s army). Gentileschi is known for painting scenes during the 17th century Baroque movement that illustrated violence towards men. This is because whenever she was 18, she claimed to have been raped by one of her father’s colleagues at the university she studied art at. When she spoke out against him, the man went through trial but was never punished for his actions. Judith Slaying Holofernes is a story portrayed in the bible. At the time, the Assyrian army was about to destroy the town of Bethulia. Judith had snuck into his tent late at night with her maidservant, seduced him, got him drunk, and decapitated his head when he passed out. The next day, she had hung his head on the gates to the city showing that the entire Assyrian army couldn’t go further because of their dead general. Because of this action, Judith was seen as the city’s heroine. Gentileschi’s characteristics in this painting are shown to be very forceful and violent. She is telling this story out of anger through her experiences with men. To the audience, it shows that women (even religious ones) can be a lot more than what men can expect from them, and nothing is stopping them to get justice. And if you don’t think that is not just the most badass thing you’ve heard all day then I don’t know what is. 

I’m going through YOI withdrawal, and since I didn’t do this originally for eps 1 - 9, I figured I might as well fill my empty Wednesdays from now on doing this until I reach ep 9…so, without further ado:

Scenes I loved in episode 7 of Yuri on Ice (aka the episode that broke Tumblr, Twitter, the Internet, etc and saved 2016):

Still adorable.

Damn that blanket.

I don’t know what is cuter about Guang Hong’s internal narrative for his free skate: the fact that he rescues his beloved “ally” Leo or that Georgi is the villain. It’s probably a tie.


Baby Chris is super adorable. I guess in a way, Victor gave him his life and love by motivating him.

Adult Chris is still adorable to me but just in a naughtier way. Although I do wish the music he chose for his FS was more sexy. I never thought it matched him or his outfit.

I was so happy Phitchit got first place at the China Cup. I would’ve been TOTALLY fine if he got bronze during the Grand Prix Final. I love him.


Although Victor’s reaction did give me a chuckle.

Seriously, no matter how many times I rewatch this scene, I still get emotional. A distraught Yuuri just kills me.

Thank God for Georgi for providing a moment of levity. Again, I know he was totally seriously heartbroken and I completely feel for him, but I still couldn’t stop laughing at his entire FS. I’m sorry, Georgi. I hope his new girlfriend is nicer to him.

Such a tiny gesture and yet packed with so much meaning for them. Ugh, these two…my heart.

I love every single moment of Yuuri’s FS performance this time, from his inner dialogue to…

…both Victor and Yurio and just about everyone else’s reaction to it. Again, gets me all happy weepy every time.

As if there could be any doubt that I would love this moment. I mean, if seeing my OTP sitting together to share a meal and some laughter is enough to keep me happy for a year, something like this…I’m still surprised my brain didn’t just short circuit and break apart right then and there. I would normally expect something like this to happen in a show like Yuri on Ice as much as I would expect the same to occur in shows like Kuroko no Basuke or Haikyuu or Prince of Tennis…in that I would NEVER expect it to EVER happen since YOI is a sports anime first and foremost. So to say this shook me to my core in the best possible way would be an accurate assessment of my reaction when I first watched the episode. 

That look between them…I think I love it almost as much as I love The Kiss. I would’ve loved it more if they kissed again right here, but that much happiness in such quick succession would have definitely melted my brain into a worthless pile of goo. 

Yuuri had to have felt that glare all the way in China. I’m so happy Otabek came (back) into his life to burn some of that seething anger away.

Friendly reminder that as the artist, you don’t see your art in the same way as everyone else. You see the flaws, the incomplete moments, the sections you feel need work. They see the skill and the effort and the passion. It’s easy to forget that other people can appreciate your art and don’t have your internal narrative on loop.

anonymous asked:

What is your pet peeve?

Shit like this:

Come on, I don’t burn everything.

…But I did burn his entire front yard. And four or five cop cars. And the cops. And a bit inside his house.

I probably traumatized his parents, but fuck them, they were assholes. Cat was cute, though.


hi hi lovely people!! so i’m doing a project for my gender studies class and I need ur help!! (i’m still setting up the sm accounts) 

#transboodynotwrongbody is a social media campaign meant to spread trans body positivity, and give trans people a platform to talk about the complexities of practicing self love and care as a trans person while also experiencing gender dysphoria and the want to transition in some form, and also internalizing popular trans narratives that tell society that trans people are supposed to hate themselves and their bodies until they medically transition or that trans people are ‘born in the wrong body’. These narratives frame identifying as trans or transitioning in any form as an act of self loathing instead of the act of radical self acceptance that it can be! This campaign also aims to uplift trans people who’s bodies and narratives aren’t often or positively seen in media, such as trans people of colour, transfeminine people, disabled trans people, fat trans people, nonbinary people, two-spirit people, gender non-conforming trans people, ect.

If you are a trans or nonbinary person who wants to participate, I urge you to post one or two things you love about your body with the hashtag #transbodynotwrongbody on facebook, tumblr  twitter, or instagram. Feel free to also share art, poetry, photos, or personal stories about body positivity and self acceptance! If you are a cisgender person I encourage you to share the campaign on your own social media, and also step back and listen to what trans people have to say about this subject you do not experience personally. That is a good way to ally yourself with the trans community.

I also encourage people to be respectful of other’s experiences and identities, as well as use content warnings on intense subjects such as suicide, self harm, sexual assault, eating disorders, ect. at the top of your posts and add content warnings when requested of you. I hope that with your help we can spread trans and nonbinary body positivity and make trans and nonbinary people feel better about their own journeys of self love, care, and acceptance, and make people reconsider the way that they talk about trans people and their bodies.

Alex. In Lingerie. For Maggie.

So @agtalexdanvers​ wrote this great concept: “um so like….i rly want alex buying lingerie to wear for maggie and feeling a little insecure and awkward in it but maggie’s jaw literally dropping because her girlfriend??? is so??? sexy???”

And @rfb211, @meeshylam​ and @wastingrain​ made a persuasive argument that I should write the thing. So I wrote the thing.

Alex had some sexy ass dresses in her wardrobe. She cleaned up nice – the phrase turned her stomach to butterflies now, since Maggie had said it, that second night, the night she assured her she wasn’t all business, the night she held her hand – and enjoyed it, for the most part. But all that wasn’t terribly functional, and Alex Danvers was nothing if not functional.

So most of her wardrobe – most of her shopping – involved tossing sports bras and basic boy shorts underwear on in combinations ranging from aesthetically pleasing (matching, which she preferred just because) to I-just-got-a-call-about-an-alien-attack-at-3-am-and-threw-on-whatthefuckever.

The first time Maggie Sawyer had taken off her clothes – and the second, and the third (the fourth was an exception – the fourth was after days and days of not seeing each other, not touching each other, because of work, and neither of them could even wait to get to the couch before stripping each other naked) – she had been… the only word that could hope to describe it was reverent.

Slow, deliberate, intentional. Every new patch of skin the removal of Alex’s clothes revealed, Maggie worshipped. Kissed, licked, nipped at, sucked on, kissed again.

She treated Alex like she was the most beautiful woman in all of creation, and she told her as much.

And Alex loved it. (And gave the treatment right back to Maggie.)

But at the end of the day, she wanted to look… sexy…like, intentionally sexy… for Maggie. Not because she felt like she had to, and not because Maggie cared that her clothes were hot, sure, but mostly functional.

But because she liked the way Maggie’s eyes grew wide when she saw Alex in dresses; the way she’d licked her lips at that black bra she’d found in the back of her drawer, from her party days; the way her brain seemed to short circuit that one time Alex had worn a thong (also found in the back of her drawer; laundry day had its advantages, she supposed).

She loved the way Maggie made her feel all the time. And she wanted to feel what it would be like to watch – to feel – Maggie react to her in full-out lingerie.

Keep reading


Request: Not gonna lie would absolutely kill for a fic where reader actually turns to the dark side, bad temper gives me those vibes but who knows what’s in store 👀 also like you’re literally my fave writer I can’t believe someone can be this talented <3

A/N: This was the fic I was supposed to post on Thursday night but shit happened so I decided to post it today instead. This is pretty different than I usually write and I really like it? Idk I enjoyed it and I hope you all do, too! I based it off of a dream I had along with the request; [fic title based off of this song]

Warning: None

Word Count: 1975 (omfg)

“It has been over seventy-two hours since we last saw and heard from Finn and Rey. The Millennium Falcon is still in the hangar but one of our marked vessels are missing. No one has been able to locate them or reach out to either of the two. It has been declared the two have left the Resistance and are considered rogue.” Standing there with an arm crossed, holding the other as you bit on your thumb nail, your focus was set elsewhere. How did things get this take such a sudden turn?

Keep reading

hi! :)

I only just woke up and tumblr gave me the followers thingy report and whoa -

Guys - thank you and welcome. Since my blog’s about section is mostly a useless thing about magpies (don’t ask), I thought I’d write a slightly more helpful post to introduce myself.

about me

I’m basically a 30-someting woman with too much time on her hands. I studied Greek antiquity (think mythology, art, fairy tales, and a little bit of history that was mostly spent fangirling over Alexander) and I now work as a translator; I read a bunch of languages, I’m interested in a lot of things, and I’m always lowkey or highkey stressing out about politics and the end of the world. I also write - a lot

about the blog

I guess it’s way too late to pretend my blog isn’t mostly Supernatural, Dean Winchester and Destiel, but I also like to discuss and reblog languages, history and random things. Expect a lot of SPN fanart and gifs (not mine), the occasional movie rec, plus the usual amount of smol animals (still not mine, because the world is an unfair, cold place).

the tagging system

I’m very consistent about my tagging, and here is how it works.

my stories

I’m one of those - the people who started writing stories about their pets when they were six in colourful block letters and didn’t put the pen down since. At the moment, I’m working on one (two?) original novels, and when it hurts too much I come back to fanfiction because I love it and I consider it some kind of world-changing genre. Here is my AO3 - I mostly write angsty, canon-compliant Destiel stories (with happy endings), but I love the other characters too, so I always include a lot of Sam, some Crowley, and occasionally other people like Eileen or Charlie. Stories you may like include a case fic about a siren (guess who it turns into), a slightly AU resurrection fic which starts out in Biblical times, an elaborate fantasy of how, exactly, Cas saved Dean from Hell (and I can’t believe we still don’t know for sure), an honest-to-God-almost Valentine fic, a dreamwalking!Cas ficlet and an external POV story written in the voice of a woman they saved

my art (ha ha)

A couple of months ago I discovered a photo editing website, and since then I’ve nursed the misguided conviction I’m actually some kind of artist. Really, it was just an excuse to spend even less time on actual work and put Cas next to a dinosaur (I think we’ve all been there?).

my metas

I like to write metas after every episode - since I’m not a TV expert and I don’t follow the actors’ lives all that closely, my metas are only about the internal narrative of the show. You can find most of them under spn meta (31 pages and counting).

my SPN worldview

I was tricked into falling in love with this show - I started watching because I like to keep up with how mythology, folklore and the supernatural are represented in movies and TV shows (probably not a healthy habit, because, man, you need to be skunk drunk to endure some of the latest ‘Greek mythology’ blockbusters), and I never expected these characters to suck me in as they did. Or to break my heart (and probably my brain - and also any other organ in between, to be honest). I’m mostly a positive blogger, but I do think we should walk around with our eyes open and fair criticism should always be a thing. As for Destiel - at this point in the story, I don’t see any other logical way out than Destiel becoming canon, but the thing is, logic is not always where people go, so - we’ll see. After everything that’s happened, this is one of those I won’t believe it ‘til I see it things, which I guess it’s okay? After all, if the show’s taught us anything, is to be careful with our faith in higher powers. Whatever happens, though, in my heart and mind there’s no doubt that those two love each other very, very much.

[Quote from Autrement Danger]

My son is what professionals call “functionally nonverbal.” He can talk. He does so all the time. But you, and to some extent I, cannot consistently understand him. He has Down syndrome, and like many people with the genetic condition, his language development is generally delayed. More specifically, though, Nico also has apraxia, which makes planning the muscle movements involved in speech difficult for him.


I downloaded “Hamilton” one day after it became free to listen to it on the way back from a late-night gig and see what the fuss was about. A few days later, Nico played it, and rather than instantly turning away from the rapid-fire rap and erudite wordiness of the musical, he seems to have joined much of America in being hooked.

Nico engages with “Hamilton” as language, not merely rhythm and beat. He chooses a setting in which he can watch the lyrics move, tapping them to repeat key phrases he especially likes. He laughs at the jokes. He makes jokes. When he said “Awesome! Wow!” he mimicked Jonathan Groff (who all parents know as the voice of Kristoff in “Frozen”) pretending to be an English king pretending to speak with an American accent. Nico had never said that line before, and when my head jerked up, he was giggling at me, ready to join in my laughter when it came. We laughed together before I went over to hug him.

In fact, his ability to tell jokes around music seems to be empowering, allowing his natural sense of humor to flourish in ways more sophisticated than a good tickle. He grabs at a moment in “Hamilton” when he knows he can get a laugh. When the men of the show all sing, in unison, “With the ladies!” Nico does, too, raising his hands in the air and urging us to join in. Before “Hamilton,” he found a moment in “Death Valley Queen,” a song by the Irish rock band Flogging Molly (I’m an Irish rock musician), when the music surged from quiet to scream to the lyrics, “I have always loved you.” Nico would sit, fist in front of his face, poised like Rodin’s Thinker, then surge to his feet and shout, “Rock and roll!” as the music crested.

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. I’m not a big fan of disability awareness campaigns, generally, unless they lead us toward accepting people for who they are, for tearing down our own internal ableist narratives about normality or function. That’s my goal here, to take an anecdote about the surprising role played by streaming music technology that has allowed my son to reveal new depths of understanding. But those depths were always there, he just hadn’t shown them to me, or I just didn’t see.

The day after the first “Awesome! Wow!” incident, we were walking to the bus stop and Nico was making a lot of noise. His hands were up, he had a little hip shimmy as he walked, but I couldn’t figure out the context. Then I caught the rhythm and said, “Shaboom?” He said, “Boom,” and he smiled, realizing I knew he was singing “Hamilton’s” “Right Hand Man.” He signed by touching his fingertips to his chin, and verbally said, “Thank you.”

He seemed pleased I was finally getting better at listening.

anonymous asked:

I'm a young aspiring fantasy writer who's been working for a few years now to achieve professional quality. My journey has taught me that external conflict is pretty easy but I still struggle w/ believable internal conflict. The internet happened to bring me here and I've been fascinated by your analysis of GRRM's books, which I've not read, to my shame, though I've been meaning to. Is there a particular character's arc you would say is the single best example for writing internal conflict?


Or Ned, actually, which I think is a lot more in-depth and clear. The way he struggles with his internalized guilt over R+L=J and balance of internal/external honor drives how he behaves. Even though there’s a ton of external shit he deals with, it’s that inner character arc that matters the most.

Arianne is quite solid in this department, as are Sansa and her internal resistance narrative, and Brienne as she struggles with the concepts of “what is my fit in the world” and “what does it mean to be a knight?” But I think Ned’s is pretty amazing and compact and accessible. 

tip for people who are about to use hair colour, eye colour, relative age/height, or any other type of epithet to refer to a character

does the narration already know that character’s name?



Having just got back from seeing Zootopia, it’s interesting how well the beginning is coded to lull you the viewer into sympathising with Judy’s view as the marginalized outsider.

It’s more than just the greater narrative, it’s unspoken details like how Bunnyburrow station has room for all the different levels of the carriage to have their own exits, but the city station only has the one ‘normal’ sized exit. Also, things that just aren’t said, like how Chief Bogo doesn’t try to justify putting Judy on parking duty, despite the fact that viewed objectively it’s a pretty sensible move. It gives the new recruit a safe position to explore the city and get a sense of the streets for their first day on the job - although Bogo is obviously being more than a bit of a jerk about it.

All of which means when the viewer runs into Nick, who is so obviously coded as the Loveable Rogue type, you see him from the view of an authority figure whose internal narrative is turning sour. For a startlingly long time I found it really easy to see him as an antagonistic figure, mentally approving of Judy’s ‘ingenuity’ in abusing her authority to keep him on her leash.

When Judy first comes across Nick, he seems like a kind of narrative payoff for her hard work - you did your time ticketing cars, here’s your chance to do A Good Deed, the kind of thing you came to the city to do. So when it turns out to be a scam, it poisons an otherwise good day, casting Nick as the catalyst for the string of events and realisations that try to trample Judy’s dream. So when she realises he’s her lead to finding Emmett, there’s a certain sense of 'at last, delicious payback’ to how she treats him…

But if the film had followed Nick up until that point, you’d have a tale of a guy living hand-to-mouth through ingenuity and harmless (mostly legal, even) hustles, until a police officer yanks him out of his life (and he clearly doesn’t have a stable income*, so yeah, time is money) and entraps him via her authority with a vindictively gleeful ironic echo of how he… Uh, stiffed her some pocket change.

By himself, he’s a Loveable Rogue type character just trying to get by and not really harming anybody. But Judy’s narrative casts him as a petty crook, which justifies (to herself) yanking him around for the sake of her dream, her job, her priorities. It’s a pretty slick piece of foreshadowing and setup for Judy’s eventual realisation and triumph over her own prejudices. Her biases are on display from the outset, simply allowed to slip under the radar as much as real peoples are.

* The actual economics of Nick’s situation are kind of nonsense, but he’s clearly a drifter with shabby clothes (that shirt looked positively grimy when I first saw it) and treated like an outcast by society. He seems slick and confident, but then, never let them see they get to you. Was he homeless before the city turned on predators? I don’t know, but it seems to fit.

A narrative is a story; a dominant narrative is history. For example, Nancy Huston argues that a dominant narrative is an indispensable part of a war effort. The plot includes ‘the good guys’ fighting 'the bad guys’ for valorous reasons, and. after overcoming extreme hardship and personal suffering, winning 'the good fight’. Huston explains that 'war imitates war narrative imitates war’. In other words, stories of war both make war possible and serve as models for war, while wars provide material for more war stories. The 'moral’ of a war story is, of course, winning the war that the story has justified. In war stories, then, 'the actual number of victims—and a fortiori their innocence and guilt, and secondary considerations; what counts is the capacity to kill their triumphal narrative of the enemy’.  The omission of real suffering in war discourse permits neglect of real suffering in war. Physical violence and linguistic narrative are thus inseparable, and must be understood as distinct parts of the war instead of as 'the war’ and 'the story about the war’ as if they were discrete. 'What we say’ and 'what we do’ in international politics are inseparable.
—  Laura Sjoberg, Gender, Justice, and The Wars in Iraq: A Feminist Reformulation of Just War Theory