About two days before Christmas Eve, these lovely elderly ladies came to my house. They were Jehovah Witnesses. I answered the door in my robe, sporting a Christmas hat, and holding a glass of whiskey. Both women laughed, and one even said “Oh, I wish I was doing what you are doing right now”. We all had a laugh and I thought to myself these ladies are nice and they drove all the way out here, I can give them some of my time. I’m firm with my beliefs, I have no life either, so what’s 5 minutes?
Well, it was family time, and I politely told the ladies after a few minutes that I had to go for that very reason. They asked if they could return another time, and I said “Sure”. I’ve accidentally said “Sure” a few times before to visiting Jehovah’s and Mormons because I’m fucking weak when it comes to kindness. And they never come back.
SO FAST FORWARD TO 5 months later….
I wake up this morning to a car pulling in my driveway. I look out the window, and see it’s an elderly man and woman both clutching a book. I was getting dressed but then heard my mom answer the door and I said to myself “Eh alright, thats cool” because I usually answer the door.
Luckily I didn’t this time.
I came down the stairs after the couple left and my mom told me that when she answered the door the couple asked for “Ryan” (me) and continued to say “He told us we could come back”.
I was cracking up. My mom ended up telling them that I moved away, which is something actually happening. BUT I CANT BELIEVE ONE OF THE LADIES CAME BACK. I knew I recognized her.
So yeah, I started my Saturday off in a really funny way. At least to me.
Up until the 1800s, the now extinct Passenger Pigeon was the most abundant bird in North America. Flocks of the birds were so vast that the sky darkened as they passed and it could take up to 2 days for the flock to disappear. During the mass migration, up to two billion birds in flight all at once sounded like rolling thunder over 320 kilometers (200 miles).
and OH do i ever love the other rogues’ faces at this moment
look at these dopes:
marco’s arching an eyebrow like ‘huh…killing the flash…why did we never think of that???? fuck i used to be part of a cartel, why didn’t I think of that?’
len’s like ‘holy shit I built that stupid gun myself and I used it on him and I was 10005% LOSING, and she gets her hands on it and she’s beaten his ass like a drum in ten seconds flat the fuck the fuck the fuck???’