intelligence fail

brutally honest descriptions of the mbti types based off my experiences with them via a very sleep deprived infp


-commitment issues? haha i’ve never heard of those :))))

-will literally punch a toddler in the throat if they say they support trump

-so i took the mbti test 7 times and i got infp twice and entp once?? i don’t really know, because i kind of fit into the infj sterotypes more, but if you really think about it i’m kind of an enfj? but i also really relate to isfps, but then again i think i’m too opinionated and logical to be a feeler, so entp isn’t out of the question, but i also feel like the entj cognitive functions really fit m

-genuinely love animals and it’s so pure

-hi sorry for not replying, i was in prison :3 also i moved to norway lol

-actually just the 2007 taco xd random aesthetic irl

-“i just came up with another book plot” texts approximately every 2.3 hours


-hi i’m melissa i’m a 23 year old art school dropout and i abuse prescription pills but it’s okay because i have 200 followers on my grunge aesthetic instagram account. rent me an apartment?

-(talking about veganism to someone at a party) i just don’t understand how anyone could put all of that stuff in their body :/ *bends down to snort a line of cocaine*

-actually really artistically talented but much like the infp they refuse to give themselves any credit for it

-my dream man is someone who goes to coachella with me, helps me align my charkas, takes sad candid pictures of me, is willing to backpack around europe with me and my philosophy class during the summer,

-*googles* why do i share a type with literally every indie musician that has ever breathed lol

-probably fucked your girl in the back of a vape shop


-if you manage to find one never let them go they are some of the best people you’ll ever meet

-huge harry potter nerds

-can manage to get you to spill out your entire life story to them with a concerned glance

-please actually care for yourself for once and a while literally you do everything for everyone else just take some time for yourself god dammit you deserve it


-could be literally the most talented person in the world but would never come close to admitting it

-hi i’m actually just jesus christ irl! nice to meet you :-)


-they know everything

-like seriously everything it’s kind of scary like calm down karl

- allows themselves to recognize exactly one (1) human emotion per year

-can read for hours on end without getting bored and genuinely loves learning

-are generally dicks tbh especially to the people they love the most

-wikipedia articles™

-they actually aren’t actually the emotionless robots tumblr seems to display them as, they are actually extremely emotional in my experience and tend to get offended/upset easily and over small things

-sci-fi, cats, and machines > humans

-superiority complex™

-cute when they aren’t busy throwing tantrums/crushing the souls of their enemies


-hi i’m martha, i’m 32 years young, i like long walks by the beach, yoga, and judging my neighbors for not mowing their lawn :-)  

-tend to be extra™ parents and their kids can either turn out complete emotional wreck assholes because they’ve never been disciplined or the happiest child you’ll ever meet, there is no in between

-they may be complete snakes and have never came up with an original idea in their entire life but boy can they make a killer chicken parmesan

-kind of comforting in a mother-like sense when they aren’t busy being judgmental dicks

-will clean your entire house for you on a whim


-wow i love being an infj :)) top 1% haha :))

-will literally develop a crush on someone because they say they know what tumblr is

-find purpose in writing/creating in general

-ending toxic relationships?? haha what’s that??? :))

-constantly switches between their “you can’t control me it isn’t a phase mom go away >:(( my chemical pilots at the disco saved me xd i will literally punch a baby fuck the system i’m 2cool4school” persona and their “i’m such a smol bean :3 save all the animals <333 i love pretty girls and dogs :))” persona

-“can i txt you back in like 15 mins i’m having an emotional breakdown lol”

-actually genuinely empathetic and creatively gifted but gives themself credit for none of it

-intelligent but fails classes because their teacher said something that went against their morals

-playing the victim? never heard of it! :))

-secretly just meme hoarders

-attention whores tbh i won’t even deny it

-o v e r d r a m a t i c


-hi it’s 6 fucking am and everyone just wants to go back to sleep or die or both but i’m gonna start an argument with the professor over the origin of tangerines for no apparent reason

-*googles* how to permanently get rid of my fe in 5 simple steps

-follow my meme page xd

-so what if i love my dog more than i do myself and my entire family?

-this conversation is boring me i’m gonna go chug a bottle of vodka and binge bill nye the science guy™ peace out

-have low self-esteems but compensate through obscure dark web conspiracy theories at 3 in the morning

-shirley i didn’t call you back because you’re a fake ass bitch not because i didn’t like your lasagna at the block party


-why do i keep physically abusing my crush lol

-and why do i keep yelling i can’t even stop at this point someone please send help

-they love food more than they do themselves


-hi welcome to my prank youtube channel :3

-the type of people to show up to school with 37 puppies and a knife

-i’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks


-sorry i didn’t show up to school because you’re fucking stupid

-awe infp is so cute <3 i’ll destroy them last

-*on the floor, drunk, talking to their dog* you’re the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me

-what do you mean other people’s opinions/beliefs besides my own are valid lol??

-lowkey have daddy kinks

-what do you mean it’s physically impossible for me to control every aspect of my life??

-i mean if you really think about it voldemort was the victim,

-the type of person who could tell their crush they like them without flinching. terrifying


-wears d.a.r.e shirts ironically

-1990’s grunge aesthetic

-would walk into a burning building for the meme

-playing the hero?? haha never heard of it :))

-ew what the fuck man get those feelings away from me lol

-fuck da police

-following the rules?? that seems excessive lmao no thanks


-i once had one (1) original idea back in the summer of ’67. it was terrifying. i’ll never do it again.

-your scary math teacher that wears black socks everyday expects friday. then they jazz it up a bit with stripes. will mark your grade up if you say you like the same sports team as they do.

-understanding concepts outside of your own experiences? lmao no thanks?

-will make quizlet sets organize your desk for you

-my dream in life is to narrate a crime documentary and complete my george washington memorabilia collection.

-remembers all of their colleagues birthdays. doesn’t say happy birthday.


-fucking get over your ex already he wasn’t that attractive calm down allison

-*googles* why do i relate to regina george from mean girls so much?

-the type of person who tells your boyfriend you have a crush on him

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

-gets your shit together for you. judges you


-dead inside

-if you can manage to find one that actually tolerates you they are some of the most loyal and true people you’ll ever meet

-horrible social skills, compensates through meme hoarding

-sends you links to conspiracy theory videos when you’re sad

-extremely intelligent but they get lost in their own house

-whoops i just remember i haven’t showered in 3 weeks lol

-i would laugh at that joke but i’m 3 hours deep into an existential crisis and i’m 100% convinced you are actually a robot created by bill clinton so not today jeff


-yes homo

-cries over cat videos in public

-facetimes you in a grasshopper fursuit at 3 in the morning

-probably an alcoholic

-has 87 different crushes at once

-you haven’t talked to them in 7 years but they’ll show up at your birthday party and give you dog

-also attention whores

-generally has the personality of someone who just did 10 lines of cocaine


-one sec let me just gather up all of the fake empathy i can muster for this particular situation

-that one kid in class who always has perfect notes

-shudders at the thought of… a… creative… thought….

-falls in love with an estp approximately every 23 seconds

-hi i’m karen, i’m 34, i love my family, cupcake baking, helping people of course until it interferes with my own personal comfort haha, christmas decorations, room layouts,

-probably has a studyblr


-your angry boss

-probably cyberbullies children on the internet 

-has an emotional breakdown when they don’t win classroom jeopardy 

-*googles* who is bernie sanders and why do i want him dead

-organizes your shit for you, regrets it later

-dead inside

Kuro 107.5: in which Vincent...

Is this super hot dude with this cool and mysterious aura…

Swirling his wine sophistically…

And debating philosophically about the ways of life…

Showing without a doubt his brilliant mind and instin–


Vincent… I really tried to believe in you…

Character Analysis: Blue Diamond

I kept trying to make the juxtaposition post between Blue and Yellow Diamond work, but I really needed a foundation before I started comparing their characters. It was turning into a huge section for each character and less like certain aspects of them were being analysed. It never turned out acceptable enough to me, and I was taking longer and longer to write just one post. So I decided to break it down (again) into a character analysis post for each character, and I’ll be following up with their juxtaposition before talking about PD’s shattering.

I want to start with Blue Diamond first, if only because I’ve touched a little on Yellow Diamond before . Blue Diamond is a relatively new character in the show, in that her presence hadn’t been confirmed until Steven’s Dream. Before that, all we had to go on were the Ziggurat and Moon Base murals and Garnet’s story in The Answer.

BD is a very complex character. On the surface, she appears as a victim, a foil to the “harshness” of Yellow Diamond (more on her in the next post). She is a very visible and obvious embodiment of Homeworld’s humanity, that they too have been hurt by the war and the conflict that underlay it. At the same time, though, there is a feeling of guilt about her that reveals she wasn’t totally ignorant of the said conflict going on. Moreover, by her own words, she has not only been dwelling in grief, but also has been searching for answers.

Blue Diamond then, is not a helpless mourner in distress and under duress. She is a capable and intelligent ruler, trying—and failing—to put aside personal pain in order to continue ruling. And that makes her similar to Yellow Diamond in more ways than one. Like their civilisation, she is trying to heal but a focal point of her healing is finding out what really happened the day PD was shattered. The way she deals with her stress and sadness, as well as the way she interacts with the gems around her, reveals a lot about her character. Let’s get to that.

1. BD dances the line between power and helplessness

What is striking about BD is how she looks like the quintessential ruler, a cross between the archetypes of mother goddess and queen. She is altogether very regal and dignified. She speaks deliberately, slowly compared to some of the other dialogue on the show. Combined with her crisp diction, her words always feel weighty. One of my favourite instances is her reply to Yellow Diamond in the Trial. YD almost annoyed asks whether examining Blue’s palanquin is necessary and Blue quietly but firmly says, “Isn’t it?” In that line, it was as if the room collectively held its breath, and even YD paused for a moment.

Blue Diamond possesses all of the attributes that we would normally associate with a leader. Her presence, from her first appearance in The Answer, spoke of someone who literally stood above others. Even while crying or angry she manages to look elegant and composed. Like the classical leader, she is introduced not with her generals but her Sapphire, analogous to leading with wisdom rather than brute force.

This picture of BD reaffirms the concept of a Diamond. In What’s The Use of Feeling (Blue), Yellow Diamond reminds Blue how each gem has a role, and when she gets to BD, she says the needs to be a leader. This is a very telling line, because we begin to understand how the socio-political hierarchy is understood on Homeworld. It isn’t a lie told by the Diamonds to placate lower-ranking gems in society. They themselves fully believe in their role as rulers. They honestly feel that “every gem in her place” is the only way for their civilisation to function properly.

That “truth” becomes a huge limiter of the supposed power that comes from being the unquestioned ruler of an empire. The Diamonds can technically do anything, but they are situated in a particular context, embedded in particular social roles, like any other character in the story. In the rigid social structure of Homeworld, they are expected to lead. So they can do anything, in so much as they do as leaders do. This explains why YD had to drop everything and run after Blue in The Zoo and That Will Be All. Ideally, they can’t just do anything they want because they are fully aware of the huge waves the ripples of their actions will cause around them.

The operative word here “ideal.” One thing to note is that all these rules are enforced by a social structure. That means social roles and expectations do blur and how to act within this structure is largely informal. There probably aren’t written rules that say how far behind a Diamond one should walk, when exactly a Pearl should speak, or how much shoulder-punching is too much shoulder-punching among soldiers.

Much like ours, their society is governed by these informal rules as much as the formal written laws. The Diamonds may have a formal set of responsibilities, but so many other social factors intervene in the way they are perceived. Things like power, class, and even height difference factor into how they are perceived by other gems. This means that a structure in which everyone is supposed to have a place, may not be as easily enforced, especially as gems go higher up the social ladder. Discipline, particularly at the Diamond-level is largely self-enforced.

So it doesn’t mean they don’t break these unspoken rules—we’ve seen them arbitrarily use their power when they’re upset or stressed. It so happens though, that in the show so far, all we’ve seen them feeling is indeed upset and stressed.

The idea that Blue is a powerful, at times unquestioned leader, is countered by how crippled and paralysed she feels in the face of Pink Diamond’s shattering. Blue has so much to offer gem-kind, not only as their leader, but also, as Peridot pointed out in Message Received, someone with abilities that surpass those of any other gem.

Yet she is unable to fulfil her role. In her most vulnerable, while she’s on Earth, she entrusted her safety to only her Pearl. For emphasis, Blue touched down on a Homeworld-hostile planet with no guards, and no Sapphires. The only gem with her was her Pearl. Given my old theory on PD’s shattering, and even the theories floating around now, that whoever shattered PD would’ve had to be close to her, it shows how exposed she is right now.

Blue is a force, but she’s also presented as a character who is flowy, flexible, rounded, and very sad. Were she the same size as the average gem, she would appear weak, not a fighter, and unable to defend herself.

BD seems very much like the archetypal leader, the only Diamond we’ve seen hold court and carry with her the formalities traditionally associated with leaders. But she’s also immobilised by grief. There is a paradox in her looking so willowy and bendable but deeply emphatic and firm about her beliefs, in this case, her search for answers.

In Blue we have a character seemingly transparent, showing everyone her tears and her breakdowns, but at the same time so opaque, as she makes decisions behind closed doors (or closed palanquin, as in The Answer) and has been searching for answers with a resolve YD didn’t even know about.

2. Leadership style

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I'm here for Draco Malfoy; The Real Draco Malfoy

• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who was curious to meet another Hogwarts kid at Madam Malkins, and was trying to communicate in the only way he knew how. I mean really.
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who realized *shiiiiiiittttt that speccy kid that I met at Malkins was Harry Potter* on the train, and wanted to be his friend regardless of his family’s affiliations
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who was sorted into Slytherin right as the sorting hat barely touched his hair.
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy that befriended Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who was really fucking terrified in the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid, Neville, Hermione, and Harry
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who is canonically very intelligent yet fails to be first in his class
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who talks about how perfect Potter always beats him out
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who was spoiled rotten by his parents
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who the Golden Trio assumes is the Heir of Slytherin
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who somehow doesn’t realize that his friends were knocked out and that Harry and Ron were disguised as them
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who tries and fails (many times) to beat Harry at Quidditch
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who always taunts Harry first
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who got kicked around by Buckbeak
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who successfully devises a plan to impersonate a dementor just to scare the hell out of Harry Potter
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who sees Harry in Hogsmeade and tries to get him in trouble (rightfully so, I might add)
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who gets bitch-slapped by Hermione
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who gets awesome seats at the World Cup and brags about them just to be an asshole
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who makes “Potter Stinks” badges–those had to have taken a lot of work
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who was made Prefect
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who tirelessly wrote Weasley is our King
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who joined the Inquisitorial Squad
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who was distracted by Harry Potter in his OWL examinations
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who’s father was arrested
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who got hexed to oblivion on the train back from Hogwarts
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who was marked as a Death Eater at the age of 16
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who made it into NEWT level classes with ease.
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who befriended a ghost because he was so lost and broken
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who fixed the Vanishing Cabinet
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who couldn’t kill Albus Dumbledore
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who lived in the same house as arguably the darkest wizard of all time
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who didn’t give up Harry Potter and his friends when they were brought to the Manor by Snatchers
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who was the rightful owner of the Elder Wand (until Harry disarmed him)
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who lost his best friend to the Fiendfyre in the Room of Requirement
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy who’s mother risked everything for him
• I’m here for the Draco Malfoy that a lot of people seem to ignore. I’m here for the flawed Draco. The messy Draco. The one with a shit ton of faults. I love snarky, asshole Draco.

• I am here for Draco Malfoy

The Lights Were Pretty Though

From the same Call of Cthulhu campaign titled Normal is Relative with the Mortician, Drug Dealer, and Florist. In one of our sessions, Joseph, the npc we were helping with his wife, Janice, we went over and she was crying about needing to see the stars. So my character, the Mortician, went up and got Janice’s telescope in order to find and see this “mysterious new star” that Janice wanted to see. After a failed sanity check and a failed intelligence check, looking at the star caused my character to go temporarily insane. As a result, she 1) Had no inhibitions for a few rounds, and 2) was obsessed with getting the other to see the wonderful pulsing light in the sky.

(while the Mortician and Janice were trying to convince the Florist to look at the star)

Drug Dealer, OOC: I push the telescope to the left a bit to throw it off the star and buy at least a little time.

Mortician, OOC: I see Jack pushing the telescope and run over to push him out of the way. *rolls a success with 2 bonus dice*

Drug Dealer: *fails his counter and gets pushed out of the way*

Mortician: *is then tackled and thrown to the ground by Joseph*

- the next round - 

Drug Dealer, OOC: fuck it, i’m gonna punch telescope, try to break the glass *fails but it falls to the ground*

Mortician, OOC: Danny takes out her gun and shoots Jack with her .44 Magnum revolver.


Mortician, OOC: Because she has a conceal carry permit, she is carrying a concealed gun, she has 0 inhibitions right now, and you just tried to destroy the thing that lets you look at the wonderful and amazing pulsing lights she is currently obsessed with. Danny shoots Jack *rolls a Success and shoots him in the leg and does 9 points of damage*

Drug Dealer, In Character: I’M GONNA MURDER THIS DOC!

Mortician, OOC: Listen, we both knew Jack was going to end up on Danny’s autopsy table, but we thought it would be because he ate one of her pet chickens, not because he punched a telescope over pretty Cthulhu lights.

(Danny came out of it the next round when she agreed to get her first aid kit if the Florist promised to look at the Cthulhu light again. She felt awful and gave him some medical attention because he refused to go to a hospital.)

anonymous asked:

supercorp bringing the baby home

“What do we do with her?”

Kara all but floats into the seat beside her, so careful not to jostle Lena and, way more importantly she suspects, the tiny, tiny, oh my god so tiny–


“I have no idea.” She can’t believe they let them leave, just her, Kara, and this tiny little life they somehow (somehow? Daxamite technology and Kryptonian knowledge and the brute force of Lena’s very human levels of intelligence and failing over and over and over again until somehow) managed to create.

“You’d think there’d be like a test,” Kara says, voice as gentle as the hand she reaches out to brush against the very real flesh of this person that’s going to call her…. “A quiz or something?”

Lena tears her gaze away from their (hers, hers, in a way that has anchored into every corner of Lena’s being, and yes she’ll share her with Kara, endlessly, happily she is both of theirs, but she is her) daughter, finds Kara’s just as fixed. “What will she call us?”

They hadn’t discussed it. No names; not for her, not for them, not for anything until she was real. And now she is.

“I read this article,” Kara eventually says, still focused on this thing they’ve done, the round of her cheek beneath fingertips, “about how kids with same sex parents– how they don’t always stick to mom and mamma. How they’ve been makings up names, weird things that make no sense, and–”

“What’s ‘mom’ in Kryptonian?”

Je ju.” Kara blinks, as if speaking the word has woken her from a daze, and she meets Lena’s eyes now. “It…”

There are so many things that Kara cannot have of her old life, practically anything, really. But this, a strange new world for both of them where these tiny little people don’t play by the rules?

“Sounds pretty nonsensical.” And it’s hard to loosen her grip, but Lena does it because Kara is right there looking at her like nothing has ever been this real before now. “Je ju,” she whispers, fingers gentle against Kara’s cheek where she can feel the way Kara’s happiness floods into her grin.

How have I never seen an ADHD Neville Longbottom headcanon?

ADHD Neville who always forgets everything

ADHD Neville who keeps losing his toad and his possessions

ADHD Neville who’s clumsy and uncoordinated, messing up potions, falling off his broom, dropping teacups

ADHD Neville who needs the passwords for the common room written down to even be able to get inside, because he can never recall them

ADHD Neville who’s shy and insecure because of how his symptoms makes it difficult to interact with people

ADHD Neville who’s ineloquent and bumbling because the words won’t come the way he wants them to

ADHD Neville who takes a long time to realise he’s got ADHD because he’s primarily inattentive rather than hyperactive and bouncing off the walls

ADHD Neville who finally realises because of a pamphlet he sees while visiting his parents at St Mungo’s

ADHD Neville who’s talented and intelligent, but fails to earn high marks because of poor memory and difficulty following instructions (and, well, abusive teachers)

ADHD Neville who becomes a skilled wizard when able to learn in an environment (Room) more suited to his Requirements, when he has the motivation and encouragement to drive him forward

ADHD Neville who’s probably equal parts brave and impulsive when he stands up to the Carrows even when he knows he shouldn’t

ADHD Neville who becomes a professor and is able to provide his students with a much more diversity-friendly learning environment

ADHD Neville Longbottom

being afraid to ask for academic help because it means admitting to yourself you have a problem that you can’t solve on your own and you’ve been praised your whole life for your intelligence so failing to know something means losing the one positive trait you had and you feel that if you can’t figure it out alone you don’t deserve the understanding you gain

When INFJ meets INTJ

INTJs are well-known masterminds. They see through people’s weak logic and attack it with their intelligence, making others feel completely incompetent.

INFJs are little-known masterminds. They analyze people’s personality and emotional weakness. INFJs see shallowness of people and carefully listen to their insecurity and worries. Now they know all your secrets.

What is interesting is when INFJ meets INTJ. INFJ will try to figure out emotional depth of INTJ. INTJ will try to measure INFJ’s intelligence.

Both usually fail because INTJs rarely reveal their emotion or personal concerns and most of the time already figured out all their problems. And INFJs, who usually seem peaceful, are extremely insightful and sharp when it comes to intellectual conversation. Plus, due to their introverted-intuitive nature, their interaction is very fast-paced and dense. While people around them try to understand what the hell they are talking about, they both conclude “This person is different”.

Then they become best sarcasm duo.

Time (Prince!Jimin)

Plot: Assassin!reader being assigned to kill prince!Jimin

Part: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Twelve, Epilogue

Word Count: 990

A/N: so here is part eleven and today is actually my blog’s second birthday!! It doesn’t feel like it’s been two years but I wanted to say thank you to everyone who was joined along for the ride, whether you started following an hour ago or two years ago, I still love and appreciate all of you!!! The link for this is prince!Jimin (here)

Originally posted by jiminnout

It didn’t take nearly as long as you’d expected. It took you two days to get Jungkook in on the plan, knowing he’d tell Jimin’s parents so they didn’t panic when they heard about their son’s “death.” It took you another day to set everything up, to get Jungkook nearby without having any attention drawn to him. He was linked with Jimin just as strongly as Jimin’s own brother was, if any of your client’s “friends,” saw him, they’d immediately know something was up. It took you a few hours to set up the fake death scene, painting the fake blood onto Jimin’s skin.

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anonymous asked:

Why do you think Victarion a POV character? I get not every POV is going to knock it out of the park but he's almost aggressively dull and entirely unsympathetic. I thought GRRM said he'd always find something human with the POVs and not do a monster one but Victarion is like Gregor but less interesting. Is there something thematic I'm missing that makes him worth the page space?

“Where is this Dothraki Sea?” he demanded. “I will sail the Iron Fleet across it and find the queen wherever she may be.”

The fisherman laughed aloud. “That would be a sight worth seeing. The Dothraki Sea is made of grass, fool.”

- Victarion, ADWD

Victarion’s PoV chapters are a massive joke on him, and he’s so lacking in intelligence that he fails to get it. Even when every step of the set-up is manifestly apparent in his own internal monologue, the man cannot put it together into a punchline.

“I burnt the lion’s fleet,” Victarion insisted. “With mine own hands I flung the first torch onto his flagship.”

“The Crow’s Eye hatched the scheme.”

- The Iron Captain, AFFC

Victarion drank with the rest. There is no wine so sweet as wine taken from a foe. Someone had told him that once. His father, or his brother Balon.

[A few pages later]

Firelight glimmered in Euron’s eye. His smiling eye. “Will you take a cup of Lord Hewett’s wine? There’s no wine half so sweet as wine taken from a beaten foe.”

- The Reaver, AFFC

Euron’s gifts are poisoned, the captain reminded himself the day the dusky woman came aboard. I want none of his leavings. He had decided then that he would slit her throat and toss her in the sea, a blood sacrifice to the Drowned God. Somehow, though, he had never quite gotten around to it.

- The Iron Suitor, ADWD

“The Iron Suitor” in ADWD almost always gets a giggle from me, as Victarion complains that the sun is too sunny, the ocean is too blue, the forest is too green and full of trees, the storms are too stormy, and the monkeys! Damn those monkeys! They mock him.

Victarion Greyjoy mistrusted laughter. The sound of it always left him with the uneasy feeling he was the butt of some jape he did not understand. Euron Crow’s Eye had oft made mock of him when they were boys. So had Aeron, before he became the Damphair. Their mockery oft came disguised as praise, and sometimes Victarion had not even realised he was being mocked. Not until he heard the laughter.

- The Iron Suitor, ADWD

The monkeys are the author making mock of Victarion, and the character is not even left with that uneasy feeling that the punchline is approaching.

The black priest bowed his head. “There is no need. The Lord of Light has shown me your worth, Lord Captain. Every night in my fires I glimpse the glory that awaits you.”

- Victarion, ADWD

Thoughts on Ben and Caleb in “The Quarry”

After watching “The Quarry” and seeing so many people angry with Ben because of how he treated Caleb in that last scene, I feel obliged to add my two cents on the matter. This post is not supposed to be in defence of one or the other, but rather why I think that Ben’s as well as Caleb’s behaviour is in line with who they are (I’ve seen quite a lot of people say that Ben is out of character this season) and why I feel for the one, but also understand the other. I apologise in advance if this is going to be a bit longer, but I have a lot to say.

 Let’s start with the complaint which I’ve read the most since the episode aired, which seems to be: “How can Ben treat Caleb like that, doesn’t he care?”

To which I can only say: Of course he cares! During their whole conversation about the mission, you could see that Ben was aware that Caleb was acting strangely and that he was worried about his friend’s behaviour. And I think Seth played the dichotomy of the scene really well, with Ben being professional on the one hand, getting the matter of the mission out of the way, but also being concerned for Caleb on the other. He did ask him whether he was alright and Caleb brushed him off. And I think this was the moment that Ben realised that Caleb hadn’t dealt with the torture as well as he thought he did, but he also didn’t want to push and I get that. Pushing someone to tell you something doesn’t always help, nor work, waiting for them to tell you on their own does. The problem here is that when Caleb eventually does tell him, Ben doesn’t have the time to listen, but I’ll get to that later.

I think initially Ben was giving Caleb space to deal with the physical/emotional fallout of his torture. I don’t think he expected him to be immediately alright after what happened, but Ben himself is someone who pushes down his emotions and gets on with his duty, and wrongly he expected Caleb to do the same while coming to terms with what Simcoe did to him. And I think that’s why things are going downhill for them right now.

Fundamentally these two are completely different people: Ben is driven by responsibility, Caleb by loyalty.

For Ben there is nothing more important than his responsibilities, his duty towards the army, that’s what keeps him going. No matter what happens, his brother dying, Sackett and Sarah being killed, he pulls himself together and gets on with things. And it’s obvious in their last scene that Ben hasn’t told Caleb about what happened with Sarah, Caleb still seems to be under the illusion that Ben is a virgin, hence his comment about getting him a woman. So Ben dealt with that situation and his feelings on his own, forced himself to not let it get in the way of his duty and moved on. There really is nothing that can move him from his path, supporting the army and the war effort wholeheartedly (even though he doesn’t always approve of Washington’s actions).

Caleb on the other hand is driven by his loyalty towards his friends. 

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It’s Really Really Happening! Sherlock x Fem! Reader

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Fem! Reader
Warnings: none
Rating: T, just to be safe
Word Count: 1240
Author’s Note: This is for the anon who requested this:

Howdy… I was wondering if you could do a fluffy one shot where Watson helps Sherlock propose to the reader… I just think that, that would be so darn cute😂☺️

Here you go! Tried my best at this :)

“Let me get this straight,” John held his hands up in surrender. “You want to propose? To Y/N?” The man sitting across him rolled his eyes.

“Of course I do,” Sherlock Holmes replied with a huff of annoyance. “That’s what people in love do?” John looked at him with a funny look on his face, which Sherlock immediately recognised as disbelief. “What? Is it that shocking that a machine like me can love?”

“Janine,” John replied simply and that drained the colour from Sherlock’s face.

“That was for a case,” Sherlock got up from his chair in his flat. “Y/N is different. I know it.” John stared at him for some time before sighing and set down his newspaper.

“I’ll help.” This time it was Sherlock’s time to be surprised. “Mary would have my head if I didn’t help, since you came back from the dead when I was about to propose to her. What’s your plan?”


“Sherlock that is a terrible plan!” Mary spoke, exasperated, clearly not happy. She was currently bobbing Rosie up and down as the little girl yanked at her blonde curls. “Rosie no, what did I tell you about pulling Mummy’s hair? Anyway, Sherlock do something both of you like. John, help him. Molly, Rosie and I can be a distraction.” Sherlock and John both looked at each other before closing the laptop lid.

“I mean… there’s one part of the plan?” John offered helpfully. “They can keep her occupied. How about… a restaurant? Her favourite one, just by the corner. Propose there?”

“But I want something special!” Sherlock whined like a petulant child.

“Do something for her! Go the extra mile!” John exclaimed, waving his hands in the air. “Learn her favourite song? Go out of the country? Think about what she likes. Make a list.”

“She works in the morgue with Molly,” he started to count on his fingers. “She likes Italian, likes books about that boy… wizard…”

“Harry Potter!”

“Yes yes him. Likes television…” Sherlock trailed off, on meeting John’s murderous eyes.

“You don’t know what your girlfriend likes?” he asked slowly. “After being with her for… three years?”

Sherlock was about to answer when a knock at the door interrupted them. Mycroft. “What do you want now?” the detective growled.

“Might I suggest a vacation? A retreat to the Bahamas, maybe?” The elder Holmes twirled his umbrella. The duo looked at him strangely. “What? Has it not been done yet?” Mycroft tutted. Sherlock once more opened his mouth to snap at him when John beat him to it.

“Both of you, shut up,” he pronounced the last two words forcefully. “Yes, Sherlock is proposing to his girlfriend tonight. We have exactly nine hours until she gets home, so please! For the love of God, co-operate!” John yelled, finally, the duo looking at him strangely. “Finally. Here’s my plan.”


Y/N Y/L/N had been taking off her gloves after her final autopsy when Molly Hooper approached her, with a serious look on her face. “What’s up Mollz?”

“I need you to finish some paperwork for me,” she had a pleading look in her eyes. “An emergency has come up and I can’t ignore it.” Y/N could never say no to Molly, so she shrugged and nodded. Molly grinned and dumped an enormous pile of files on her desk in the other room. Looks like she wouldn’t be heading home for a couple of hours. After disposing her gloves Y/N dragged her feet to her desk, loathing each piece of paper that would come into her hand. Behind the closed doors, Molly giggled on the phone.

“She’ll be occupied for a couple of hours.”


“Y/N!” Mary was so determined to make sure Y/N didn’t come to Baker Street that she took the stroller into Y/N’s office. “Could you take Rosie for a quick stroll? Something’s just come up and I have to dash!” Y/N was about to say no when she saw Rosie’s little pout.

“Oh alright,” Y/N sighed. “It’s only for Rosie, not you.”


Y/N was dead tired when she arrived at 221B Baker Street. It had been a long, long day and she just wanted to sleep. She dragged her feet up the creaky stairs, and to her surprise, found the door locked. The door was normally open. That seemed… odd. She fished for her keys and slowly unlocked the door and her breath was taken away. The flat was lit up in beautiful tea lights and a warm fire was crackling away. Surprisingly enough, there was not a speck of dust on the mantlepiece, which was surprising.

“Y/N?” Sherlock appeared from the kitchen. “I didn’t expect you to be back for at least forty-nine minutes.”

“Mycroft dropped me home,” she set her bag near the sofa and closed the door, looking suspicious. Sherlock rolled his eyes, making her giggle. “What’s this all about?”

“Can’t I do something nice for a change?” he called, retreating back to the kitchen.

“You’re normally not this nice,” Y/N followed him into the kitchen. “You… solve murders and crimes. And are snarky. Is that…” she caught whiff of the most beautiful fragrance of her favourite food. Sherlock looked at her nervously. Y/N hugged him from behind and kissed his cheek. “That is so kind of you darling, thank you. I’m going to go freshen up, okay?” She then walked across the hall to the bathroom.

After a nice hot shower which calmed her tense muscles, she immediately started to get dressed. Y/N was about to open the door when she heard faint murmurings on the other side of the door; she gingerly opened it without a creak and found Sherlock’s back facing her.

“I’m the most insufferable man,” his back still faced her and she had to stifle a giggle. The silly man was facing the wrong way. “After all these years, I still fail to understand why you deal with me. I use the fridge space for body parts, clutter the table for my experiments, rearrange your bookcase by alphabetical order when you like your books in order that you like them the best…”

Y//N was about to yell at him for that but she decided to keep silent and listen further.

“You are the most breathtaking person I’ve ever met; your patience and endurance in dealing with me befuddles me, your kindness is a virtue I am thankful for and your intelligence never fails to enrapture me. I love you very much Y/N and I will not beat around the bush any longer.” Sherlock then bent his knee and Y/N’s eyes widened. “Will you marry me?” The bewildered woman let out a shriek and the consulting detective immediately turned around and stood up, as shocked as she was. “Y-Y/N,” Sherlock stammered. “I-I was just uh… practicing, obviously I had more to say-“ when Y/N tackled him into a bear hug.

“Oh of course I will, you great big prat,” she whispered and kissed him deeply. Sherlock was equally surprised as her and he kissed his new fiancée back with the same passion.

Outside, Mary, John, Molly and Mrs Hudson were huddled outside the door, trying the eavesdrop on their exchange.

“It’s really really happening!” Mrs Hudson whispered happily! Her happiness train was interrupted by a number of shushes.

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A Mistake (2)

If I could turn back time, I want to be the greatest man in the world.

Word Count: 3.2k
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Description: Inspired by Jin’s Love Yourself Teaser Photo. I saw the teaser photo and decided to write the Part 2 of my fiction A Mistake. It was written from reader and Jin’s point of view. I hope you guys like it! :)

Few days had passed since that night where you disclosed your feelings towards Seokjin which ended up having your hidden relationship came to a halt. You had not heard anything from him ever since that night. That night where you let yourself unfold all the things you had kept hidden inside your heart. The same night where you let him tear your crippled heart like it was made of paper, you let him crush your pride to the lowest pit as he spoke the most disheartening truth you wished you would never have to hear from his mouth.

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lauren jauregui just, in my opinion, is the epitome of perfection and not because of the way she looks, even though she’s stunning… she’s perfect because of her qualities!! she has the kindest soul and anyone who looks at her social media or watches her interviews can see that. her intelligence never fails to take my breath away, she’s so educated on things that I would never know about in a million years & her vocabulary requires me to re-evaluate my times spent in English lessons!! she is so knowing about the worlds problems and she is aggressively passionate about changing them!! the message she sends to people about not thinking about themselves as objects of physicality & everything she stands for as a woman and a feminist is everything a woman should stand for & she does it in a way that gets the message across, without demonising the views and beliefs of others!! she is everything a person should be & her voice.. well, let’s just say it’s one of my favourite things to listen to!! excuse me if I’ve gone on for a bit but honestly I look up to her so much and she’s only 19!! I aspire to be even a fraction of her being one day because she is such a good and loving person & that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be!!

thedynamitebear  asked:

I'm playing a smooth-talking rogue thief in my game so I started following this blog for inspiration. (Great content btw) But I find it hard to roleplay my suave and charismatic character when I'm not. Are there any posts or tags you have about being charismatic or something I can use to help play my character better? Thanks.

Oh, you’re not alone, a lot of people have that problem, high charisma is probably the hardest thing to pull off. But don’t worry, it’s definitely doable. :)

First of all, talk with your DM, explain the situation, and come to an agreement on how you’ll be handling social skills mechanically. Different systems/editions have different approaches, ranging from “it all comes down to a dice roll no matter what you do” to “it all depends on what you say and how”.

It may be tempting to go for the former extreme, but I don’t recommend it, because then you won’t have any incentive to roleplay at all. A middle ground would be preferable: you, the player, get to decide what your character says, and this will of course affect the outcome, but body language and tone of voice (which in many cases can make or break an argument) are determined by your character’s abilities. That way, you can focus on actual words, and not worry about “looking” and “sounding” suave. This means less stress for you, which is a big deal in my experience.

Then, you can think of a few introductions, perhaps write them down if you prefer. Like, how would you greet and introduce yourself to a guard, to a noble, to a shopkeeper, or to a mark? You don’t need to rehearse a whole script, just have a sentence ready to get started. It may sound a bit silly, but I’ve seen it work wonders. It’s a bit like Method acting, it helps you get into your character’s mind.

Third: prepare excuses. I think the hardest thing with smooth-talkers is making shit up on the spot, and pulling excuses out of your ass. But if you have a basic cover story ready in advance, it becomes much easier. And it makes sense in character: “Okay, we’ll sneak into the mayor’s house to steal this document, but what do we say if we get caught? We’re his new bodyguards! We’re the Queen’s Secret Police on a sensitive mission! Actually, we’re just a hallucination!” (Adjust silliness to taste, and let the charismatic Rogue do the talking.)

And last but not least: take it slow. You don’t need to be smooth ALL THE TIME, very few people are. If it comes out only once in a while, it’s still cool, and it will feel great, and the less you stress about it the easier it will become with time. So give it time. And if you ever feel bad about it, just think of all the Wizards who play with 20+ INT, basically superhuman intelligence, and still fail  spectacularly to solve all the problems they come across. :P

Oh, and if you want to play a charismatic rogue, smooth and suave isn’t the only way to do it. Charisma means force of personality, and this can be expressed in many ways. You can be playful and charming, but you can also be imposing, intimidating, project self-confidence or gravitas, all sorts of things. If the concept is “high charisma” in general, as opposed to smooth-talking and suave specifically, maybe you’ll be more comfortable with one of these approaches. (See also this post.)

And finally, @dynamitebear , I’d like to note that you’re already doing the best thing you could possibly do to learn how to smooth-talk: you’re ROLEPLAYING. :D

P.S. Our resident pro in smooth-talking is @wearebeguiler. Ask her if she’s got any tips, and I’ll reblog this to @weareadventurers in case anyone else has something to add. It’s a very good question. :)


Yoonmin fanfic idea #5: Partners in Crime

!!WARNINGS!! -a lot of death (like actual descriptions of murder) and very very brief mention of abuse. Also, they are really fucked up mentally (like they are absolutely insane) If you choose to ignore the warnings and read this anyway and then comment about those warnings I will probably block bc I did warn you.

(One more note: this is so fucking long and I’m so sorry, I am doing this over the app and I don’t know how To make it hide the majority Of It and just say read more)

Ok, so, they are really fucked up but I like this idea

So, when Yoongi was a kid he was put into an orphanage at the age of 6 bc his family was killed. Yoongi was the one who killed them. Yoongi was playing in his parent’s room and found his father’s gun. He knew exactly what he was doing when he pulled out the gun and walked into the kitchen where his mother was. Yoongi thought his parents were unfair and mean (in reality they were just kinda strict but he is a 6-year-old and ya know, 6-year-olds don’t exactly realize why their parents do certain things). They always let his older brother get away with things but never let him do the same. So he killed them all. The judge and jury decided not to charge the kid with any kind of murder bc he is 6 and probably didn’t think he would actually kill them. So they sent him to an orphanage that helps the kids they get mentally.

At this orphanage, Yoongi met a kid named Park Jimin. Jimin came to the orphanage when he was 4, a month before Yoongi came. He was standing at the doors and knocked. When a woman answered the boy handed her a later and said, “Mommy told me to give this to you.” The letter basically said something along the lines of “I don’t want him to be hurt anymore. My husband will continue to harm him if he is with us. I’m sorry. He is allergic to bees.” ( just to show that she really loves Jimin is the reason I add the allergy. You don’t have too.) The letter was right. Jimin looked as if he had been beaten badly and after examination, there were signs that the boy had been sexually abused.

So when Yoongi came to the orphanage Jimin noticed he was different. Yoongi seemed to isolate himself from other kids and if he did talk, Jimin never saw it. After a month of watching Yoongi closely, Jimin knew Yoongi ate alone so during lunch Jimin sat beside him. Jimin talked to Yoongi even though it was more of a one sided conversation but any time Yoongi spoke, nodded, or made some kind of noise Jimin became really happy. From then on Yoongi and Jimin were joined by the hip.

When Jimin started school things started to change. Yoongi had noticed but didn’t say anything, well, until he was really missing Jimin’s smile. Eventually, Yoongi asked what was wrong and Jimin told him that the kids at school teased him bc of his height, chubby cheeks, and things like that. Yoongi told Jimin that every day he would wait for Jimin at the school gates and have Jimin point out the people that bullied him that day. So the next day Yoongi was at the gates and Jimin pointed out the kids. Yoongi told Jimin to wait for him and he went up to the kids. He took them somewhere where Jimin wouldn’t see them and he would beat them up.

That routine continued until high school. By then the majority of kids knew Jimin was protected and off limits. But sophomore year Jimin had a crush. He would talk about the boy he was crushing on to Yoongi every day. Yoongi told him that the best thing for him to do was tell the boy his feelings. He told him that even though every time the boy’s name came up in conversation Yoongi’s heart hurt. All Yoongi wanted was for Jimin to be happy. Whether that is with him or some other guy Yoongi doesn’t care, as long as he can see Jimin smile.

So Jimin tells the boy and they start dating. Then one day Yoongi walks into his and Jimin’s shared room (small details: they never got adopted bc no one wanted Yoongi bc murder and Jimin refused to get adopted without Yoongi so they still live in the orphanage until they graduate and Yoongi, even though he is incredibly intelligent, purposefully fails two grades so they can graduate and leave the orphanage together.) To find Jimin sobbing his eyes out.

Yoongi asks what happened and Jimin raises his arm to where Yoongi could see a darkening bruise on Jimin’s wrist, “He just wanted me for sex. We were in school and I was just walking and he grabbed my wrist. He pulled me into the janitors closer and he was trying to get me to let him fuck me but when I said no and tried to leave he tightened his grip. He put his hand down my pants and squeezed my ass. I eventually got out of his grip before he could do anything else. After that, I ran here.”

Yoongi was fuming, “Do you know where that dick lives?” Jimin nodded and told him where he lived. Yoongi climbed out of their window and left after he turned back to Jimin and told him, “I’ll be back later.”

Yoongi goes to the boy’s house and somehow gets the boy to go on a walk with him. They walk and talk for a while. The sun goes down and night falls. Yoongi had been able to distract the boy long enough to get him to follow Yoongi to a deserted part of town. When the boy least expected it Yoongi jumped him. He beat him far beyond what he usually would and right when the boy was on the verge of passing out Yoongi started to slam the boys head into the concrete repeatedly. Not only did Yoongi crack the boy’s skull but also the concrete. Once Yoongi was sure the boy was dead he dragged him into the woods that were nearby and left him for the animals. Yoongi walked to the gas station that he and Jimin go to after school to get snacks. He went to the bathroom and washed the blood off of his hands and face before he called Jimin.

Jimin answered and Yoongi asked him, “Jiminnie, I’m at the gas station. Can you bring me a change of clothes?” Jimin said he would and then hung up.

When the younger boy got there Yoongi reached his hand out of the bathroom to get the clothes, not wanting Jimin to see the blood. He quickly changed and left t the bathroom to see Jimin leaning back against the wall, “Yoongi, what did you do?”

Yoongi didn’t look at him, “Let’s just say you will never see or hear from that guy again.”

There was a small silence that fell between them before Jimin grabbed his hand and they started walking back to the orphanage. Jimin ended up resting his head on Yoongi shoulder and when Yoongi noticed and looked down Jimin smiles at him softly, “Thank you Yoongi.”

That night Jimin slept with Yoongi in his bed.

After that night the news of the boy’s disappearance was all over town. A few people that knew Jimin had been dating him tried comforting him and Jimin ended up making some friends. After a few months all of the rumors calmed down and things went back to normal.

All was good for two years. After two years Jimin and Yoongi graduated and they moved into a small apartment together. This was temporary of course. They would both be moving to a bigger city once fall came and Jimin started college. Yoongi decided not to go to college and instead try for a career in music.

So, one-night Yoongi came home and found Jimin crying in his room. Yoongi asked what was wrong and Jimin told him that one of his “friends” was spreading lies about him. Saying that Jimin would sleep with anyone who showed interest. Jimin could handle that rumor though. The one he couldn’t take was the lie that Jimin had killed the boy he dated in high school. A specific thing Jimin says is “Why is it that any time I get close to someone they always hurt me. You are the only one that has really been there for me Yoongi, thank you.” Yoongi was going to go out and confront the ass hole that was spreading lies about his precious Jimin but before he could leave Jimin grabs his wrist and is like “Please don’t get involved yoongi, we are going to leave this stupid fucking town in a month. Just stay.” Yoongi couldn’t protest so he stayed home and they ended up on the couch watching one of Jimin’s favorite movies. Yoongi didn’t pay much attention to the movie though, he was too busy planning the death of the person who hurt Jimin.

The week before they left Yoongi had gotten in contact with Jimin’s “friend” and he asked them out to coffee. They said yes and so they went to a small cafe. Yoongi held a conversation and made it seem like he was genuinely interested in the person but when they excused themselves to the restroom Yoongi slipped a deadly drug into their coffee. One sip and the drug would kill them in just 24 hours. When they came back Yoongi continued being polite and friendly. Two days later word of the person dying of heart failure reached Jimin but they had already left. Yoongi asked if he was ok but Jimin just nodded his head and said, “The ass hole got what they deserved.

After that, things seemed to calm down. Yoongi was able to get a decent job writing music and selling his songs to a big name company. Jimin finished college in four years and was currently working at a small cafe close to his and Yoongi’s apartment. It was a temporary job while he was trying to find a better job, one he went to college for preferably. But at the cafe is where Jimin met Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook was a young college student two years younger than Jimin. His major was art and he came to the cafe Jimin works at almost every day to study. It was only natural for Jimin to learn his name and then eventually start talking to him. Jungkook was cute and unbelievably funny. Jimin commented how he liked Jungkook’s art and the next week the younger came to the cafe with a beautiful painting of Jimin. The older loved it so much he hung it up in his room. When Yoongi asked where it came from Jimin blushed lightly and told him about Jungkook. After that Yoongi wanted to meet the boy so Jimin asked Jungkook to come over and that’s when they met. Yoongi was friendly. Jungkook seemed like a genuinely nice kid but the way Jimin blushed and giggled every time he said something didn’t sit well with him. The way Jimin’s arms kept finding their way around Jungkook’s arm made Yoongi want to puke.

After the first meeting he, Jimin, and Jungkook met a few other times and with each meeting Yoongi started to hate the boy more. Jimin seemed to be glued to his hip. They weren’t even dating. Why would Jimin do this? Didn’t he say it himself? Anytime someone gets close to Jimin they end up hurting him. The only exception so far is Yoongi and he doesn’t see why it’s worth it to find anyone else if there is a possibility of Jimin being hurt again. So, the only thing Yoongi can do is kill Jungkook before he hurts Jimin.

On a day that Yoongi knows Jungkook stays late at the university he attends he waits for the younger boy. When he sees Jungkook walk out of the building Yoongi starts following him. It was pitch black so Jungkook didn’t notice the person following him until he heard the footsteps. After he noticed, Jungkook started walking faster and then eventually he was running but Yoongi knew the neighborhood they were in a lot better than Jungkook. He was able to cut Jungkook off by taking a shortcut. When the boy saw Yoongi right in front of him he seemed to relax a little and Yoongi wanted to laugh. Jungkook was about to speak but Yoongi was able to push him down and knock him out by slamming his head on the ground. Yoongi walked him to the area he had picked out to bury the kid. When they got there Jungkook was coming to and was about to try to get away when Yoongi quickly threw him onto the ground and straddled his waist. Yoongi pulled out the knife that was in his jacket before he discarded the garment and pressed the knife to Jungkook’s throat with little pressure.

Yoongi looked at the frightened boy and felt pity for him, he sighed and told him, “Jungkook, you were a genuinely nice kid, but there are people who I thought were nice that hurt my Jiminnie really badly. That’s why I’m doing this. If I don’t then you will just hurt him and then I would have to do it later. This way we can skip the whole part where Jimin gets hurt. Besides, I really don’t like the way he looks at you.” Jungkook tried to speak but Yoongi slammed the knife into his right arm, “Nu uh, if you make any sounds I will drag this out a lot longer. If you’re good, I’ll end it quickly.”

Jungkook had tears in his eyes and he was biting his lips so hard there was blood but that was nothing compared to the feeling in his arm. Jungkook nodded as Yoongi took the knife out of his arm. Yoongi drug the cool metal of the knife up Jungkook’s arm and over his collarbones, “Ya know, I really hate your arms. Every time you would say something just slightly amusing Jimin would cling to them like they were life savers. It was really nauseating to watch.”

Yoongi then proceeded to drive the knife down into Jungkook’s left arm. From his wrist all the way up to his shoulder the knife ripped open his skin to reveal bright red blood. Yoongi sighed when he felt Jungkook sobbing underneath him, “It must be hard to keep quiet. Do you want me to go ahead and kill you?” Jungkook nodded vigorously as he kept his lip between his teeth. “Well, since you didn’t technically hurt Jimin I guess it’s the least I could do. Jungkook, I hope in your next life you never meet me or Jimin. That way you can have a chance.”

That was the last thing Jungkook heard before the knife was slammed down into his neck. Yoongi watched as blood rushed out of the wound and felt his anger at the boy grow as he remembered how he acted with Jimin. He raised the knife out of Jungkook a neck and then repeatedly drove it into his chest and stomach. There was so much blood that by the time Yoongi was done his clothes were basically soaked and he had blood on his face as well. Yoongi dragged Jungkook’s lifeless body into the hole he had dug and quickly covered the body with dirt. Before leaving he grabbed his jacket he had taken off before he killed Jungkook and put it on. He was careful to hide his clothes and face as he walked home.

Once he got home Jimin had long been asleep. The younger always went to sleep early. Yoongi took his jacket off and put it in his room before he made his way to the bathroom. Locking the door Yoongi took off his clothes and looked in the mirror. Jungkook’s blood had seeped through his shirt and it covered parts of Yoongi’s chest and His face had blood splattered on it. Yoongi didn’t feel guilty. He didn’t feel remorse. He felt pride and excited. This was the first time he felt alive in years.

The next few weeks Jimin didn’t even mention Jungkook. The painting was still hanging in his room. As far as Yoongi knows, Jimin had no idea. He didn’t act differently towards him. If anything Jimin seemed to smile and cling to him more.

Yoongi was in heaven.

Well, until another boy came around.

His name was Jung Hoseok. Yoongi was at the cafe when the two met. The minute he came through the door Yoongi could tell Jimin was interested. When the boy went up to get his order Jimin smiles at him and even touched his arm. It was disgusting.

A few weeks went by and Jimin brought Hoseok over a few times. He was actually really funny. Hoseok was a dance teacher for kids and he was just a year younger than himself. He was so nice that Yoongi had thought maybe he wouldn’t have to kill Hoseok

Yoongi probably wouldn’t have if he didn’t come home to Jimin sleeping with his head resting in Hoseok’s lap while the older was carding his fingers through Jimin’s hair.

Yoongi went to his room immediately after seeing the sight. He sat on his bed, barely holding in the anger he was feeling while trying to talk himself out of the plan he had already made. Hoseok had gotten too close. Yoongi had too. There was nothing he could do. Hoseok had to die.

Since Yoongi was closer to Hoseok than he was to Jungkook he simply asked the boy if he wanted to go see a movie. Hoseok said ok and they went. When the movie ended it was almost midnight. Hoseok lived somewhat near him and Jimin so they were walking together when they passed the cafe Jimin worked at. Yoongi made up some excuse about how Jimin left something behind the cafe and he had to get it so both of the boys walked around the building.

Hoseok noticed the big hole that had been dug and turned around to ask what it was for but he was met by Yoongi holding the gun to his head. He stuttered, “Wh-what are you doing? I-Is that real?!”

Yoongi looked at him, “If you wouldn’t have gotten so close to Jimin we could’ve been friends. I’m sorry Hoseok. I wish you better luck in your next life.” Before he could say anything else Yoongi pulled the trigger and Hoseok fell to the ground dead.

Yoongi pulled the dead body into the grave. He took one last look at the boy before burying him.

By the time Yoongi gets home it’s past 2 in the morning. He doesn’t expect Jimin to be awake but when he shuts the door Jimin comes padding out of his room in nothing but a long sweater. He rubbed one of his eyes before yawning. Yoongi had to hold back from cooing.

Jimin smiled sleepily at him, “Why are you back so late? Didn’t the movie end at around 12?”

Yoongi nodded, “Yeah, but something came up. I had to go do some things.”

Jimin yawned again, “Was it a good movie? You know I like watching movies. I wish I could’ve gone.”

“It was good. I don’t think you would’ve liked it that much though. It was a horror movie.”

Jimin laughs quietly, “You’re right. I probably would’ve cried.”

Yoongi smiled at him, “Go back to sleep Jiminnie. It’s late.”

Jimin shook his head, “I had a nightmare. I can’t sleep.”

Yoongi sighs, “Jimin you really need to sleep. You have work early tomorrow morning.”

Jimin pouted, “Can I sleep with you then?”

Yoongi tried to hide his smile, “Of course, come on.”

It was about a month and a half after that when Jimin found another boy. His name was Namjoon.

They met at the cafe, the place where Jimin had met the two previous boys, while Namjoon was out “looking for inspiration” for a song. When Namjoon saw Jimin apparently he knew that Jimin would be the perfect place for inspiration (Yoongi can confirm that Jimin is the best place for inspiration but that doesn’t mean he is ok with Namjoon’s stupid pickup line).

Now Yoongi never truly met Namjoon before he killed him. He only ever heard about him from Jimin. He was tall and handsome and apparently had dimples as deep as the ocean (Jimin’s words, not his). Yoongi got tired of hearing so much about this guy but it wasn’t until Jimin ended up spending the night with him did Yoongi want to kill him in one of the worst ways possible. Jimin explained to Yoongi that Namjoon invited him over to watch movies and they ended up falling asleep but when it started becoming more and more frequent did Yoongi follow Jimin to the man’s house.

From then on Yoongi started following Namjoon. He found out where Namjoon worked, where he went after work, the people he hung out with. Yoongi knew Namjoon’s daily routine better than his own.

Finally, about 4 months after Jimin met Namjoon did Yoongi introduce himself. He bumped into the man as he was leaving a coffee shop that was close to his work causing him to spill his coffee all over Namjoon’s shirt. Yoongi stuttered out an apology begging Namjoon to let Yoongi buy him a new coffee. Namjoon eventually told Yoongi he could. Yoongi got Namjoon’s coffee and slipped a poisonous liquid into it before giving it to him. Yoongi walked Namjoon back to his work, he talked about the things Namjoon liked So the taller man would drop his guard. Yoongi suggested they hang out later that night. And Namjoon asked where so Yoongi suggested the cafe. Namjoon agreed and they parted ways. Yoongi knew that Jimin didn’t work the afternoon or night shifts at the cafe so he wasn’t worried about being caught.

They met up again at the cafe and Yoongi offered to order Namjoon’s drink. The older man tried to say it wasn’t necessary but Yoongi insisted. Yoongi did the same thing he did that morning and before he gave Namjoon his drink he made sure to slip something in it. The two boys talked for a few hours. Every time they needed a refill on drinks Yoongi was the one to get it, making sure to slip the liquid into the drink before handing it to Namjoon.

Soon the cafe was closing and Namjoon and Yoongi were just walking the streets. About half an hour after the cafe closed Namjoon complained about how his stomach ached. Yoongi, faking concern, asked where the boy lived. Yoongi already knew that Namjoon lived a good 45 minutes away so when he told Yoongi the older insisted that he come back to his apartment. Namjoon agreed and when they were walking back Yoongi told him that behind the cafe there was a short cut to his house. Namjoon followed as Yoongi led the way to the “short cut” but right as they got behind the cafe Namjoon collapsed. Yoongi smiled to himself. He timed everything perfectly.

Yoongi quickly helped Namjoon lay down on his back but while doing so he took the syringe out of his jacket and injected Namjoon with the rest of the poison he had been slipping into his drink.

Namjoon looked up in pain, “What the hell was that?!”

Yoongi stood and watched as Namjoon tried to get up but the poison left him basically paralyzed. Yoongi tutted, “It’s useless ya know. You won’t be able to move. But that pain you’ll be feeling right about,” Yoongi looked at the time and waited a minute, “Now,” and as if right on cue Namjoon let out a long groan of pain, “Is all of your organs shutting down. In less than five minutes you will pass out and in less than ten you will be dead.”

Namjoon looked up at him, “Why?”

Yoongi chewed his bottom lip, “Because you got way too close to my Jiminnie. He spent the night at your house so many time in the last few months. Nothing a couple more you would hurt him. I know you would. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

Namjoon struggled to get his words out, “But won’t this hurt him? If he finds out? He would hate you.”

Yoongi shook his head but felt a small rush of panic, “He won’t find out. And besides, my Jimin would never hate me. I’ve never hurt him before. I’m the only one he can trust.”

Before Namjoon could say anything he passed out. Yoongi just sighed as he took Namjoon’s body closer to the hole he had dug a few days before. A few minutes later he checked the pulse and Namjoon was dead. Yoongi rolled the body into the grave and covered him in the dirt.

When Yoongi got home it was a bit past midnight so you could say he was a bit shocked to see Jimin up and coming out of the bathroom freshly showered.

Yoongi tried not to look too much at the way Jimin had pushed his wet hair out of his face and instead looked at him confused, “What are you doing up so late? You are usually in bed by about 10.”

Jimin stopped for a moment before biting his lip, “I woke up from another bad dream. I was in a cold sweat and I couldn’t go back to sleep. It felt disgusting.”

Jimin had been having nightmares quite a lot recently. Yoongi was a bit worried, “Are you ok? What are they about?”

Jimin took a moment to answer, he seemed to be thinking the dreams over, “Losing you. In every dream, you always get hurt or die.”

Yoongi throws him a small smile before walking over to him and putting an arm around his shoulders and walking them to his room, “You know I’m not going anywhere. You also know you can sleep with me anytime you have a bad dream too.”

Jimin smiles up at him, “I know Yoongi. Thank you.”

And so things were fine again. Jimin seemed to have nightmares almost every night so he would sleep in Yoongi’s bed, he can’t say he’s upset. The two grow closer and Yoongi had truly never felt happier.

Until almost half a year after Namjoon died and one-day Jimin told Yoongi he had a date.

Upon hearing those words Yoongi’s heart cracked a little. He asked who with and Jimin explained he met a guy just a year older than Yoongi named Seokjin. When Jimin explained all of the things they had talked about when they met in the cafe he had a small blush on his cheeks and a small smile on his lips.

When Jimin left for his date Yoongi really did throw up. It was repulsive to even think about Jimin outright dating someone. With all of the other boys, Yoongi stopped them before they could get that close. This left him with a small window of time to kill Seokjin, but he could do it.

That night before Jimin came home Yoongi went out and bought a few pieces of wood and barbed wire. He was feeling creative when he came up with the way to kill Seokjin.

The day after Jimin’s date Yoongi found Seokjin. It wasn’t that hard after Jimin told Yoongi everything about the guy. He even told Yoongi where Seokjin works so it was actually relatively easy.

Seokjin worked really close to the cafe so by the time he got off he was walking past the building to go home. Yoongi was walking towards him and when they were just about to past each other Yoongi pretended to double over in pain. Seokjin quickly walked to him to ask if he was ok and right when Yoongi had the chance he injected Seokjin with a drug that would make him pass out.

When the older man fell to the ground Yoongi sighed to himself and dragged him behind the cafe. Waiting for them was a large box that Yoongi made and in the insides of the box, the walls were covered in barbed wire. Yoongi lifted him up and into the box and hammered the top of the box on.

A few minutes later there was panicked breathing coming from inside the box. Yoongi tutted as leaned down right next to the box and spoke, “If I were you I wouldn’t move.”

Seokjin must’ve moved because Yoongi heard the man hiss in pain, “What is this? W-Why am I in this?”

Yoongi laughed, “Because you were going to hurt Jiminnie if I didn’t put you in there.”

“ Wh-what? What do you mean? ”

Yoongi sighed, “Part Jimin, the actual Sun. If I don’t kill you, you will hurt him.”

“ Why would I hurt Jimin? ”

“Because everyone does except for me. You got too close.”

“ How exactly is this going to kill me? It’s just going to hurt me. ”

“It will kill you slowly. If the barbed wire doesn’t kill you first them running out of oxygen will.” Yoongi explained.

And so they waited for which ever came first. By the time it hit 2 in the morning though Yoongi had enough waiting. He stood and started to push the box to the hole he had dug. Once it fell into the hole Yoongi heard a muffled scream and couldn’t help but laugh at himself.

He made quick work with burying the box. By the time he was finished it was past 3 and all he could think about was how he wouldn’t be able to hear Seokjin when he finally died.

When he got home he was smiling to himself. He really did do a good job this time. Maybe Yoongi will get more creative with future kills. Maybe he could make it a game. That would be fun.

Yoongi goes to his room after he’s cleaned up a bit and on his bed he sees Jimin curled into himself fast asleep. Yoongi sighs to himself before putting his pajamas on and then slipping into the bed. He lays down to where he could face Jimin but as soon as he gets under the blanket Jimin moves towards him and wraps his arms around Yoongi’s waist. Jimin puts his face in Yoongi’s neck and his legs tangle with the older boys.

Yoongi has a soft smile on his lips as he looks at the younger. He could feel his heart rate quicken a little as well. Yoongi softly kisses Jimin on the top of his head and before falling asleep he whispers, “Good night Jiminnie.”

Almost a year later was the next time Jimin found a new boy.

Jimin met him, as usual, at the cafe. They got along so well that Jimin asked him over that day. Yoongi came home and they were sitting on the couch talking with some anime playing in the background. When Jimin noticed Yoongi he smiled and introduce the two boys.

Taehyung seemed harmless. He smiled with genuine happiness and he acted so carefree. His looks were the complete opposite of Yoongi’s. Taehyung was tall and had beautiful tan skin. For some odd reason, Yoongi didn’t feel like Taehyung would be a bad presence in their life.

So Taehyung coming over became an everyday occurrence. When Yoongi would get home he would be sitting with Jimin on the couch, either talking about whatever happened to him that day, listening to Jimin talk, or just watching television. Taehyung seemed to genuinely want to not only be Jimin’s friend but Yoongi’s too.

Taehyung would constantly make an effort to talk to Yoongi. Asking how his day was and little things like that. Taehyung was so unlike the other boys. Sure, the others, if they met Yoongi, only ever acted friendly towards him. Taehyung was being kind and seemed happy every time Yoongi talked to him.

Another thing that might have helped Yoongi not kill Taehyung was the way Jimin acted towards him. Jimin never really flirted or anything of that sort. They were strictly friends.

Until they weren’t.

One day, many months after Taehyung entered their lives, Yoongi came home and what awaited him was something he would have never expected. Taehyung was on top of Jimin kissing down the shorters neck as Jimin let out small moans and pulled at Taehyung’s hair.

Yoongi was truly shocked. He didn’t know what to do or say. He just shut the door a bit louder than he would have usually and the two pulled away from each other. Jimin had a small smile on his face when he looked at Yoongi but Taehyung couldn’t even meet the older boys eyes.

Yoongi looked at the two for a few minutes before he felt his blood book with anger. He felt betrayed. Yoongi himself let Taehyung in and now that he had this is what he comes home too.

Before Yoongi could let how absolutely infuriated he was show in front of Jimin he left and went to his room. He slammed the door and Yoongi felt tears come to his eyes. He doesn’t know if they are from heartbreak or anger but either way, he ends up sobbing his eyes out that night.

The next day Yoongi doesn’t have work so he stays home. While Jimin goes to the cafe he gets a text from Taehyung asking good he could come by. Yoongi smiles to himself as he texts back telling Taehyung that he can.

By the time the younger boy comes over Yoongi had planned how he would die. This time Yoongi really would play a game.

Yoongi made tea and asked if Taehyung would like a cup. The taller boy gladly accepted and Yoongi grabbed a water bottle for himself.

Taehyung drank the tea before speaking, “Yoongi, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for yesterday. It’s just, one thing led to another and, well, you saw where it led too. The truth is I’ve kind of accidentally developed feelings for Jimin.”

Yoongi nods, “Don’t worry, Jimin is an easy person to develop feelings for. Trust me, I’ve had feelings for him ever since about freshman year of high school.”

Taehyung’s eyes went wide, “Oh god, I’m so sorry Yoongi. If I would have known I would have never-”

Yoongi smiled, “I said don’t worry Taehyung. You’ll be gone soon enough.”

Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows, “What do y-”

That was when Taehyung passed out.

Yoongi quickly dragged Taehyung to his bedroom and sat him in a chair that he had placed in his closest. He grabbed tape and made sure Taehyung was unable to move. As he finished up Taehyung was starting to come back to his senses.

Taehyung looked up at Yoongi, “What? Why are y-”

Yoongi laughs, “You always want to know why. Every single person always wants to know why. Isn’t it obvious? Because if I don’t kill you, Jimin will end up getting hurt. I remember seeing him in high school getting his heart broken and in elementary school when he would get bullied. No one is allowed to hurt Jimin anymore. He even said it himself, anyone that gets close to him hurts him. The only exception is me. I’ve never hurt my Jiminnie. Now, shut up. If you’re good I may not be as harsh as I have been in the past.” Yoongi shoves a rag in Taehyung’s mouth and then puts tape over it.

And so Yoongi keeps him like that for three days. For three days Taehyung sits in his closet and had nothing to eat or drink. He barely got any sleep, too afraid to try. So, when Yoongi finally opens the door, at what Taehyung can only assume is night, he is grateful. But the feeling goes just as quickly as it came when he felt something heavy slam against his head.

Yoongi cuts Taehyung free from the chair tapes him back up again and carries his unconscious body all the way down to the cafe. When they get there Yoongi props Taehyung up against the wall and wakes him up.

Yoongi sighs when the young boy’s eyes go wide, “So, I’ve decided to be nice. Because you were so kind to me I’ve decided I’ll give you a choice. I can either shoot you or I can give you a good overdose of sleeping pills and after you are dead asleep put a bullet through your brain for good measure. Both of these are definitely nicer than how I’ve killed most of the boys.”

Yoongi pulled the tape off of Taehyung’s mouth and the boy spoke, “Boys? How many people have you killed?”

“Are you asking for total of just because of Jimin?”

Taehyung looks at him in horror before answering, “total.”

“Well, let’s count. First, my mom then my father than my brother, so, three. Then add a couple of kids I accidentally killed when I beat them up in elementary school. Then Jimin’s first boyfriend and a person that was supposed to be Jimin’s friend but hurt him. Then four other boys before you. So, eleven.”

“W-Why would you kill your family?”

Yoongi smiled, “Because they were mean.”

“ The kids? ”

His smile vanished, “Because they hurt Jimin.”

“ The boyfriend? The friend?”

Yoongi scowled when he thought of those two people, “The boyfriend tried to sexually abuse Jimin and the friend spread lies about him.”

Taehyung thought for a second, “Ok, I don’t blame you for the boyfriend. But what about the other four boys?”

“ They were getting too close to Jimin. They were going to hurt him. ”

Taehyung shakes his head, “So you are trying to protect Jimin by killing the people he cares about?”

“H-He doesn’t care About them.”

“Then who does he care about?”

“ He cares about me. We care about each other. Ever since we were little we have loved and looked out for each other. ”

Taehyung sighed, “Well it must suck to know that once he finds out about this things will be different.”

“ Wh-what do you mean? Different? Jimin would never leave me. ”

“Why should he stay? He can’t have anyone else if he is with you. He can’t have friends or boyfriends. If he finds out about this he will leave you.”

Yoongi shakes his head violently, “No he won’t. He wouldn’t.”

“He will hate you and never want anything to do with you ever again.”

That’s when Yoongi lunges. He brings Taehyung to the ground and wraps his hands around the young boy’s neck. His legs are wrapped around Taehyung’s waist as he cuts the younger boys oxygen off. Taehyung struggles but he is still taped up. Yoongi feels Taehyung’s plus slow down and then eventually stop. Taehyung goes limp beneath him.

Yoongi sighs as he gets up and drags Taehyung’s body into the hole he had dug. He covered it with the dirt before heading back to his apartment.

The whole way home what Taehyung had said had been going through his head. Would Jimin really leave if he found out? Would he be too scared to even talk to yoongi? Would he tell the police?

By the time Yoongi got back to their apartment complex it was late. The walk back had taken him about 20 minutes longer. Yoongi took a long way, he didn’t want to come home and see Jimin. What if he already knew?

When he walked in the apartment he expected to see a dark room with no one in it but instead, a lamp was on and Jimin was sitting on the couch.

Yoongi is shocked to see him but tries not to show it, “Oh, Jimin, why are you still awake?”

Jimin smiles and stands. He walks over to Yoongi and puts his arms around Yoongi’s neck, “Yoongi, you know I would never leave you right?”

Yoongi swallows hard, “I-I uh-”

Jimin plays with the hairs on the back of Yoongi’s neck, “Yoongi, I’ve loved you ever since we were kids. All of the bad dreams were just excuses to sleep with you. Forget everything Taehyung said. Forget what Namjoon said. I could never hate you Yoongi.”

Yoongi’s eyes grew wide, “Wh-what?”

Jimin moves one of his hands up to Yoongi s cheek, “Baby, I know all about them. Every single one. From Jungkook all the way to Taehyung. I don’t just know about them, I picked them. ”

“Y-you picked them? What do you mean?”

Jimin smiles softly, “Yoongi, I know how much you enjoy killing and hurting people. When we were kids you would always take the people who bullied me somewhere you thought I couldn’t see and hear them up. The two times you accidentally killed them I noticed how you smiled just a little bit more than usual. Then when you killed that piece of shit boyfriend I had the days afterward you couldn’t help the bright smile on your face, even when you were by yourself you had a small smile. After you killed the friend that hurt me you couldn’t stop smiling. Every time you killed someone your smile would get brighter. So, once we got settled in here I had the idea of picking people out. This was also a test. To see if you actually loved me as much as I thought you did. So, I thought I’d start easy. Jungkook. A kid that would fall for anyone that flirted with him. Then when you Really did kill him I knew. You really did love me Yoongi. So, I just needed to see how much you really loved me. So, I picked Hoseok. A guy that I knew would eventually fall for me. He was so friendly I knew it would be harder for you to kill him,”

His smile widens, “but you did. Then Namjoon. I didn’t even introduce you two. But you still found him. Still killed him. Killed him for me. Now, I wanted to see if you would kill without me even talking about them a lot, so there was Seokjin. Oh, that’s was fun to watch. After him, I figured you loved me just as much as I loved you. But then I met Taehyung. Now, I knew he would just be friends. I actually just wanted to be friends. But a few weeks after I met him I had a brilliant thought. Would you really kill someone who was close to you? So, I let you two get close to each other. There were multiple times where I thought about not doing it. I mean, Taehyung was actually really nice and you actually let him get close to you. But then that night he confessed to me and I knew he had to go. It’s a shame, I really did consider him a friend. But I knew it would take a lot for you to snap so I decided to kiss him. When you came home I could barely hold my excitement. You were so angry. So, I waited a few days but then yesterday I went to your room to hang something up and I saw Taehyung in your closet. He was so scared. I took the tape off of his mouth and he begged me to let him go. I couldn’t help but laugh. He really thought I would help him. After saying goodbye I taped his mouth again. And then, tonight,” Jimin rested his head on Yoongi’s shoulder and held him close, “you killed him. ”

Yoongi was stunned. He’s killed 5 people just because Jimin wanted him too. Jimin picked them out, all of them just for Yoongi. Jimin picked out people for Yoongi to kill just because the younger knew Yoongi enjoyed the feeling he got when he killed. God, Yoongi never felt more happy in his life.

Yoongi pulled back just a little from Jimin but moved his hands to rest on the boy’s waist, “You said it was fun to watch Seokjin die. How did you see it? Was he the only one you saw?”

Jimin pulls away and takes Yoongi to the couch so they could sit. He holds Yoongi’s hand as he speaks, “I saw all of them. There is a security camera out back of the cafe. The morning after you killed Jungkook I walked in on the person who usually watched the footage and I was talking to them when you popped up on the screen. I told them that they were needed somewhere and I quickly took the flash drive and put it in my pocket. After that, I went back that night and worked some magic and basically, they don’t get the real footage, that goes right to my computer. I’ve got to say Yoongi, you a brilliant killer. They all died differently.”

Yoongi looked down at their hands and smiled, “Which one was your favorite?”

Jimin smiled at Yoongi, “well, I made a list. My least was Hoseok. Purely because it was over too quick. Then Namjoon, it was a little boring. But then the next three were amazing. I couldn’t help but watch Seokjins death over and over. That was just so cool how you killed him. And then Jungkook. If I’m being honest, the way you killed Jungkook turned me on. Or maybe it was the way you looked afterward. I was awake when you got home that night. I saw you covered in his blood and I almost came right there. I don’t know why but all I wanted to do was lick his blood off of you. I wanted to know if it was still warm. I wanted to know how it felt in your hair. I couldn’t help myself that night. I got myself off on my fingers and came to the mental image of you naked with Jungkook’s blood all over your chest. God, Yoongi, you have no idea how much it still gets to me.”

Yoongi watched Jimin as he spoke. He felt himself get hard as the younger boy told him how much he affected him. The way Jimin described it made Yoongi want to interrupt him and kiss him long and hard but instead he asked, “And what about Taehyung?”

Jimin looked like he could groan, “Oh God Yoongi, tonight was so good. I-I kinda followed you. I wanted to see it in person. I got there right as you gave him a choice. I couldn’t help but think how nice that was of you Yoongi. But then he started to say all of those mean things and I had to hold myself back from coming out killing him right then and there. He had no right to be so mean to you after you were so nice to him. But then you lunged at him. When you wrapped your hands around his throat, oh fuck,” Jimin threw his head back against the couch and let out a groan, “it was so hot,” he looks back at Yoongi, he took Yoongi’s hand and raised it to his neck, “I wondered how it would feel to be underneath you. For you to use your hands on me like that. I wanted to know.” Yoongi put the slightest bit of pressure on Jimin’s throat and the boy let out a ruff moan. Jimin moves to where he could sit on Yoongi’s lap, “I - I couldn’t help it after a few seconds of seeing you like that. I ended up putting my hand down my pants and getting myself off to it.”

Yoongi groaned. Not only was Jimin perfectly fine with Yoongi killing, he enjoyed it, got off to it. It was the hottest thing Yoongi has ever heard.

Yoongi brings his hands down to Jimin’s waist and grand his waist. He feels Jimin start to slowly grind on him. “You really like it when I kill?”

Jimin nods his head quickly, “ I really do. ”

Yoongi couldn’t help the smile that came to his face, “Then why don’t we continue this? You can pick out who I kill and then you can watch me. Maybe even help me if you like.”

Jimin not his lip and let a soft moan out, “Please, I would love that Yoongi.”

“ Then we’ll do it. Maybe we could even get a house so we can have a place to kill them. We can’t really do that in an apartment. ”

Jimin nods but he doesn’t say anything. He just leans down and connects their lips for the first time.

This is getting really long so I’m not really going to go into the smut that happens after but basically, there is a choking kink and they really fucking love each other. And like, Yoongi’s very gentle bc he never wants to hurt Jimin. But Jimin fucking wants him too. So eventually Yoongi gets rougher and Jimin is like putting in his hands after that.

So, for the end, it like a few months or a year later and they are looking for someone they can kill. Yoongi had already killed many more people with the help of Jimin luring them to their house (They got a house btw) and Jimin had a nice flower garden to cover where they bury the bodies.

But anyway, they go to a club and Jimin is flirting with people because he is still the one who picks who Yoongi kills. But then he looks back and sees this girl flirting with Yoongi. He gets pissed and walks over to them.

He puts on a fake seductive smile before he gets her attention, “I see you’ve met my friend Yoongi. What’s your name?”

Yoongi looks at him a little confused but Jimin just shakes his head the slightest bit to tell Yoongi to just play along.

The girl takes one look at Jimin and it’s obvious she likes what she sees. She tells Jimin her name and he leans down to whisper in her ear, “Why don’t we all go back to our house and we can show you a good time?”

The woman smiles, “I think that would be a great idea.”

So they all go back to Jimin and Yoongi’s house and Jimin leads the woman down to their basement, a place where Yoongi does the majority of his killing. The woman makes a comment about how it’s a pretty odd place to have sex but Jimin fake laughs. He looks at Yoongi and asks, “Yoongi, can I go first?”

Yoongi nods and he takes a seat in a chair that Jimin sits in when he watches Yoongi murder. Jimin starts to kiss the woman’s neck but as he did he held eye contact with Yoongi, the older man did not like this already.

Jimin started taking the woman’s clothes off and eventually, she is laying down and Jimin straddling her waist. He reaches for something that Yoongi couldn’t see.

Jimin whispers in the woman’s ear, “You should have never flirted with my boyfriend.”

And then Jimin brought up the thing in his hands and smashed it into her skull. She screamed but she couldn’t leave, Jimin outweighs her, she was trapped.

Jimin brings it up again, it was a rock, “He’s mine you Bitch. How dare you try to touch him.” Another strike. “You little whore. He’s mine.” Another one. “All mine. You can’t take him.” And another.

A few minutes later, long after she died, Jimin drops the rock and he is breathing heavy. Yoongi doesn’t move, he can’t. Jimin just killed for him and it was the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

Finally, when he comes to his senses Yoongi gets up and walks over to Jimin. He pulls him off of the woman and pushes him into the floor. Yoongi kisses him hard. He tasted a bit of the woman’s blood on Jimin’s lips but if anything that turned him on more.

When they break apart they are both trying to catch their breath. Yoongi smiles a little, “Now I get why you like to watch me kill.”

Jimin looks at him worried, “You wouldn’t have actually gone home with her, would you? She was pretty. I know you kinda like girls too. But you wouldn’t leave me would you?”

Yoongi smiles fondly down at him as he wipes some of the blood off of Jimin’s cheek, “You said it best Jimin, I’m yours. I don’t look at anyone but you. I will never leave you, baby.”

And then they make love in the woman’s blood bc why not.


this is so fucking long oh my god. i hope you like this, i know its pretty fucked up but i really like the idea. if you want to use this idea please credit me so people can find my account. thanks!