insults and profanities

anonymous asked:

okikagu please?

*Special note on this one - For this ship, I always do romance headcanons under the assumption that they are both adults

SEND ME A SHIP and I’ll tell you:

  • Who said “I love you” first: It would take years for either of them to get to a point where they are comfortable acknowledging their feelings, and even then, Kagura is far more stubborn than Okita, so Okita will be the first to say something, and even then, Kagura probably won’t say it back for a while longer yet. She’ll act totally cool about it and pull an “I know” response and that’s it - yes, blatant Han Solo reference right there, but act 100 times cooler and more apathetic about it all.
  • Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Kagura might have a picture of Okita as her phone background. He is likely unconscious in this picture, and it is highly likely that it was entirely her doing. This woman is always proud of herself anytime she manages to knock the sadist out and she will never go without a picture. She also has one where Kamui knocked Okita out. Kagura took it while muttering “At least my stupid big brother is good for something.”
  • Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: Do childish threats and taunts count? Even as adults in a relationship, their rivalry will never go away. Kagura likes to draw a hand giving the middle finger most of all. Sougo will add a comment that that isn’t an appropriate gesture for little girls to make (even though she’s well into her twenties) and tells her that he’s going to report her to immigration if she doesn’t behave for her master. Her response is not appropriate for publication. Gin-san taught her a lot of colorful words.
  • Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Okita. If he believes it is something that will piss her off, he will always buy it. Anything moderately insulting to her is fair game when he’s out roaming Edo.
  • Who initiated the first kiss: Okita. And he got punched for it…. Then Gin-san found out and he had to go into hiding for a few months.
  • Who kisses the other awake in the morning: Okita would, but she drools in her sleep. Also, the last time he tried, she kicked him out of bed while she continued to sleep, and when she kicks, even lightly, he ends up with something broken. It will be a miracle if they manage to have children someday.
  • Who starts tickle fights: Okita… It doesn’t remain a tickle fight for very long, really at all. It turns into a legit fist-fight that destroys half the house, which is why he only starts them when he’s at Hijikata’s place.
  • Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Okita might ask. Might. Most of the time he’ll just invite himself in and ignore her fuming, or her accusations of sexual harassment, or her very colorful and crude remarks on why he must be in there. Kagura never asks. She will literally shove him out of the shower if she thinks he’s taking too long and steal it for herself. They don’t share it very well unless they are in a mood for intimacy. Okita would actually love to take more showers together, but it is a struggle with Kagura.
  • Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Okita, except her lunch is always spiked with a whole bottle of hot sauce. He will never tire of that prank. Never. He does make it up to her (after the fist fight) and takes her out for a real lunch.
  • Who was nervous and shy on the first date: Neither would admit it, but both were a little nervous. Okita was probably a little more nervous than Kagura, but he was aware of his feelings far longer than Kagura and had to endure literal years of waiting to get to the point that they could date.
  • Who kills/takes out the spiders: You don’t want Kagura killing spiders because she will punch holes in the wall. She has also been known to kill them, or attempt to kill them, by shooting them. Okita deals with the spiders by trapping them and letting them loose in Hijikata’s house… usually puts them in his mayonnaise. Hijikata regularly pays for pest control at OkiKagu’s house in the hopes it will minimize the number of spiders Okita has to set loose in his house. Jokes on him, OkiKagu make a date out of insect hunting and find more spiders out in the wild (usually bigger and more deadly).
  • Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Get Kagura drunk and she will not hold back, except her proclamations of love are mixed with a lot of insults and profanity and unladylike gestures. Gin-san got Okita drunk for his bachelor’s party and then had to carry him home while he kept carrying on about how much he loves her and how he couldn’t wait to put a collar and leash on her on their wedding day… And he definitely attempted to, but got kicked in the balls for it, and nearly murdered by Kamui’s whole Yato faction, and spent years running from Umibouzu anytime there was a hint he might be near.

anonymous asked:

Could I get some language headcanons for any character you have a burning desire to write for? Like, what languages do they speak, how fluent are they, what do they want to know, etc.

((Since we just reached 600 followers, I’ll do as many characters as I can without sounding repetitive. Long post ahead, you have been warned. Just wanted to add that I headcanon that all guards require to learn English since it’s a universal language.))

((Also gonna split this into 2 parts with the inmates on the other.))


·         Tomato

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  He can read and write it, though his pronunciation when speaking is a bit choppy.

o   Mandarin

§  He just started learning the basics because some of his mecha’s parts come from China and he wants to know what he’s buying.

o   Korean

§  He’s into K-pop and well, he wanted to learn Korean.

·         Mao

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  For him it’s like Tomato’s situation, but rather than his pronunciation, it’s his writing that needs some work.

·         Kiji

o   Fluent Japanese

o   Fluent English

o   Fluent Italian

§  Kiji’s cultured and enjoys foreign films so he decided to learn a few more languages, starting with Italian. His accent and pronunciation are nearly perfect.

o   French

§  He already knew how to speak it, but Trois is helping him with pronunciations and reading.

o   Latin

§  Again, Kiji’s cultured and started learning Latin after he went to see a take on Apollo et Hyacinthus during one of his vacation trips.

·         Ahato

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

o   Wants to learn French

·         Kenshirou

o   Fluent Japanese

o   Fluent English

o   German

§  You can thank Musashi for that. Kenshirou started to learn German because Musashi kept muttering insults and phrases at him. He only knows how to speak it though, and very choppy I might add.

·         Hitoshi

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  He’s still learning to read it; mostly practices with magazines.

·         Samon

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  Can speak it well. Though his reading can improve, he’s just too stubborn to sit down and actually practice.

o   Fluent Mandarin

·         Enki

o   Fluent Japanese

o   Fluent English

o   Fluent Mandarin

§  Enki isn’t much for other languages. He can learn and become fluent in many others, he just doesn’t find the need to.

·         Inori

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  He doesn’t really care to improve since most of what he uses is conversational.

o   Fluent Mandarin

§  He got so used to speaking Japanese that he rarely uses it anymore, but he can still read, write and speak it well.

·         Ruka

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  He can read and write it, hates how he sounds while speaking it so doesn’t unless he has to.

o   Italian

§  Still learning. But as soon as he found out Kiji spoke it, he wanted in.

·         Rokuriki

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  His pronunciation is choppy, but he understands written words very well.

·         Youriki

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  All three Daisen are competing to see who can best the other. He can speak it surprisingly well, but has difficulty in reading it.

·         Kokoriki

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  His strengths are writing and reading in English. When he speaks it tends to come out as phrases and he gets frustrated enough sometimes to jumble them together.

·         Damian

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  He doesn’t really talk much so he rarely speaks it, but understands it perfectly.

·         Nijimasu

o   Fluent Japanese

o   Fluent English

o   Arabic

§  Surprisingly learned Arabic back when he was in school as an elective.

·         Hajime

o   Fluent Japanese

o   Fluent English

o   Fluent Russian

·         Yamato

o   Fluent Japanese

o   English

§  Pronunciation is very choppy but can read it very well.

·         Seitarou

o   Fluent Japanese

o   Fluent English

o   Spanish

§  Pretty boy had an expensive education and can both read and speak Spanish fluently. He has trouble writing it sometimes though.

o   Italian

§  Again, expensive education. Though he still only has basic knowledge of it because he kinda stopped practicing.

·         Momoko

o   Fluent Japanese

o   Fluent English

o   Fluent German

o   Fluent Korean

o   Turkish

§  Still learning, but she’s picking up the language very quickly.

o   Fluent Portuguese

§  She likes learning different languages because it comes in handy with her job as Warden

·         Mitsuru

o   Fluent Japanese

o   Fluent English

o   At least 9 more languages, including: Arabic, Portuguese, Spanish, Russian, Hungarian, Polish, Italian, French, Korean.

§  Only knows how to curse, insult, and say profanities in said 9 languages.


I don’t think there’s even enough here for a deck, but just consider:

Profane Command
Foul-Tongue Invocation
Profaner of the Dead
Words of Waste
Words of War
Ormendahl, Profane Prince
Profane Prayers
Desecration Demon
Walking Desecration

Any further ideas?

Jealousy (idk what to call this lol)

Request: Dang I’m late but can you do a cute Philip x Reader where he gets jealous? Thank youu

Warnings: none

Tags: non

Notes: man i suck at writing about people being jealous lmao but i got you my dude (psst- it’s a modern au too but like,,, it’s kinda obvious)



A lot of things are associated with that word; the color yellow*, fofos*, heck; it’s even a deadly sin*. Overall, being jealous is not a good thing.


Wish you would tell that to Mr. Philip Hamilton over here, glaring at others that hung out with you or showed any kind of affection towards you. Of course, you noticed nothing at all; seeing all these acts of affection and love as acts of friendship and care. But of course, Philip could not see it as that at all.

It all started when Philip realized an important smidge of information about you: he had a crush on you.

A really bad one.

So it’s no wonder why every time he sees you with someone that wasn’t him, he gets this feeling of…hatred towards the person.

He never planned to be like this, but he was just a shy boy who wanted to ask you out.

Was that too much to ask?


Philip was lying around in his room, playing some lame nerd game on his phone that some dude introduced to him a while ago. As he was playing, he dropped his phone on his face as he received a text from you. He shouted in surprise as the tiny box thing hit his face. He sat up and rubbed the spot where the device hit him before seeing what the text was about. He almost dropped his phone on the floor as he read what you sent him.

From: (Y/N)

hey yo dude- you wanna get some food later? all my friends are gone and i’m lonely :(

He audibly wheezed as he read over the message over and over again. You, the person he had a crush on, was asking him, some lame boy who didn’t know how to confess to you, to get food.


Philip scrambled to his phone again to see what you sent this time.

From: (Y/N)

haha whoops forget to add this-

i was gonna go get food now

His eyes widened as he read the word “now”. He quickly texted you a “yes sure where should I pick you up?” and ran to look for something decent to wear and found nothing. He cursed the gods for preventing him from doing his best. He quickly went through his roommate’s things and put together something nice. He scribbled a apology for borrowing their clothes without notice and left it on the bed. He grabbed his phone, car keys, and wallet before rushing out the door and to your house.

When he arrived, he parked the car and got out. He was just a tad bit nervous, but he managed to get to your door just fine. He pulled out his phone and quickly texted you before knocking.

To: (Y/N)

Hey- i’m outside your door :)

He waited for a couple minutes before he heard the doorknob turn to be opened. He was greeted with you face; something he could never get out of his head. Your eyes brightened when you saw Philip at your door.

“Ah hey- welcome! But uh…” You furrowed your brows in confusion before looking back up at him. “What’re you doing here?” Philip was now confused.

“You said you wanted to get food-” You squinted in confusion before cursing under your breath.

“That must’ve been Theo- she took my phone earlier and-” Philip waved to shush you.

“No no it’s fine- still wanna get food?” He asked hesitantly, giving you a shy look like. You nodded and a wave of relief washed over him.

“Yeah sure- I’ll go change. Go ahead and come inside; make yourself comfortable.” he nodded before walking in and taking a seat on your couch. You quickly ran upstairs to change. During this time, Philip looked around at the living room and found a couple of pictures of you and others. Seeing those pictures made that feeling of jealousy rise up again, but he kept it on the down low. He heard footsteps coming down the stairs and quickly turned to face you, a smile gracing his features when he saw you. He got up and walked out the house with you to his car.

Soon enough, the two of you went out to get some food and now you were walking back to his car; hands entwined. He didn’t mean for it to happen- it just did. He had his head turned away so you couldn’t see the red on his face from him being flustered. You just grinned happily, not minding the hand holding. Soon enough, you spotted a classmate of yours and you waved him over. Philip blinked before turning to face you again and was met with another person. Philip’s smile turned into a scowl as he realized who this person was. It was George Eacker.

“Hamilton.” George hissed out. Philip sighed.

“Eacker.” You blinked.

“You two know each other?” Philip and George nodded, the hatred for each other not leaving their eyes.

“So what’re you doing here with my (Y/N)?” George angrily breathed out and Philip felt himself grow angry at hearing that my.

“Excuse me- she’s not yours.” George scoffed.

“She’s not yours either.”

“Uh hey guys-”

“Not now, (Y/N).” George dismissively said, pushing you back. That was crossing the line for Philip. Philip grabbed your hand yet again and stormed off but not before throwing some sick insults and profanities (he learned that from his dad :) ) at George.

Once Philip got far enough away from George, you crossed your arms at him. Philip still had a angry aura around him, but he pouted slightly when he saw that you had that look on you face.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“Don’t you ‘what was what’ me, mister.”

“It was nothing.” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“…he pushed you.” You sighed before rubbing your temples.

“He’s like that Philip.”

“But you didn’t deserve to be pushed!” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m fine Phi-” A thought crossed your mind. You stared him down. Philip looked away, coughing nervously.

“Were you jealous?” He coughed out a “wha- no-” and you moved closer to him and he began rambling.

“YesIwasjealousbutit’sonlybecauseIreallyreallyreallyreallylikeyouandandand-” You held up a hand for him to stop. You heard something in there that made everything click together.

“You like me.” Philip’s hand flew to cover his mouth.

“Did I really just say that-” His voice a bit muffled from behind his hand. You nodded. He paled and you laughed. Philip moved his hand away from his mouth and gave you a questioning look.

“So you like me-” You stated once again. He covered his face in embarrassment.

“Stop bringing that up-” You placed a hand on his shoulder and he peeked at you from behind his hands.

“That’s too bad-” you hummed, rocking back and forth on your heels. 

“Because I like you t-” You never finished that sentence as you were smothered in his arms in a bear hug.





“Philip. I need to breathe-” His eyes widened before letting you go so you could catch your breath.

“Yes I will be your girlfriend-” His eyes brightened. “On one condition.” He blinks confusedly an urges you to go on with his eyes.

“If you give me a kis-” And there he goes- he leaned down to kissed your lips mid sentence. Your eyes widened in surprise before pulling away. You cursed yourself internally; you asked for this. He smirked at you and you wheezed on the inside.

“Hey you look pretty hot in your frocks- how about we go back to my house and strip down to ou-”



*yellow is actually the color associated with jealousy, not green (idk i read it on Yahoo Answers lmao)

*fofo is a type of yellow flower that is also associated with jealousy (again, Yahoo Answers)

*Jealousy is a synonym for Envy, one of the 7 Deadly Sins. The other ones are: Pride, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Wrath, and Sloth.


Wow hey I finally finished this
I had like…no idea what to write for this
This is harder than I thought like
How do people coughTayah+Finnycough write so much like jfc

Her First Apartment Ch 7 (Part 2) xD

So I don’t have another chapter fully ready yet but after my last chapter I figured I owed you guys a bonus.

Happy Reading!

“So what do you think?” Touga held a grin from ear to ear, looking all too innocent.


“What the hell OLD MAN!?? I ain’t living with her!”

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The Zaporozhian Cossacks write a letter to the Sultan of Turkey, detail (1880–1891). Ilya Repin (Russian, 1844–1930). Oil on canvas. State Russian Museum.

The Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, Mehmed IV, demanded that the Cossacks submit to Turkish rule. The Cossacks, led by Ivan Sirko, replied in an uncharacteristic manner: they wrote a letter, replete with insults and profanities. The painting exhibits the Cossacks’ pleasure at striving to come up with ever more base vulgarities.

Lumen (part 12/ ): Firm intentions

Originally posted by a-goldeneye


Previously: part 11

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary of part 12: Things get a little heated between Steve and Fury. Wanda tells Steve your secret.

Warnings: language?

Word count: 1.815 (without background information).

Lumen is going on hiatus for a little while. In the meantime, please feel free to check out my other ongoing fan fic series, “Love is a…”!

Background: Iona Cole is a perky, gifted and ambitious assistant to a critically acclaimed professor at a renowned university. That is, until she snaps in the middle of class, the auditorium packed with students on introduction day. Having a long family history of psychiatric diseases, her mother sends her to a private clinic to receive the best treatment. In reality, this institute for people with “special needs” is a smokescreen for the underground operation Hydra is running there.

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Sort It Out - Neymar Imagine
External image

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

Oh but I wasn’t. I’d just told my boyfriend Neymar that I’d be missing the El Clasico match due to work, and as I had predicted, he was far from happy.

“I’m sorry Ney, I can’t get out of it.” I constantly put off my own commitments to make it to Neymar’s games and I was aware that work was something I couldn’t skip out of often, unless I wanted to be fired. 

Neymar leaned against the kitchen counter, trying his absolute best to persuade me with his puppy dog eyes. I knew Neymar far too well to fall for this trick and continued aiming my attention to my cooking. 

“Just call in sick!” Neymar protested. I shook my head at his naivety.

“I doubt my boss will believe that I’m sick on the exact day you have El Clasico.” 

Neymar ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. I know he wanted me there and I wanted to be there, I just couldn’t miss work again.

Knowing that my mind was made up, Neymar left the kitchen and stomped upstairs. He slammed our bedroom door loudly, making it echo throughout the entire house. I decided against going to talk to him, knowing it would end up in shouting and screaming insults and profanities at each other. I simply sighed and continued cooking.


It was the day of El Clasico and Neymar had been saying the bare minimum to me the last few days. It was obvious that he was still irked at me for choosing work over his match. It didn’t help how childish he was being either. He’d deliberately woken up way before me and left the house so he wouldn’t have to face me. But that wasn’t all. He’d done little things that he knew would bother me, like leaving his pyjamas strewn over the bedroom floor, leaving his side of the bed unmade and making sure my jacket fell on the floor when he took his off the hook. 

I knew that this attitude would continue for days unless one of us did something. Neymar was incredibly stubborn so it was left to me to fix things between us. But I still refused to skip work.


I was clearing the last of the glasses from the table that had just departed when I heard a cheer from the crowd from the bar. The El Clasico match was being played on the TV and a few times it had distracted me from work.

I made my way behind the bar to serve the customers when a boy in his late teens called my name, making me turn round.


“Yes?” I peered round questioningly.

“Is Neymar your boyfriend?!” He asked in excitement.

I smiled at the boy, before nodding my head.

“He’s playing so good today, why aren’t you there?” The boy questioned.

“I have work, as you can see. Has he scored yet?” I asked, stopping what I was doing to turn my attention to the boy and the screen.

“Unfortunately not, but he set up Suarez!” 

I smiled proudly at the screen. I was glad that Neymar was playing well, I was just upset that I wasn’t there to see it. 


It was around 6pm when I pulled into the driveway of the house Neymar and I owned. I knew Neymar was home as his car was parked in his spot in the driveway. I opened the door to our house and immediately smelt the delicious aroma of my favourite meal. I prayed this wasn’t another of Neymar’s childish tricks.

I walked into the kitchen and found a steaming plate with a note beside it. I picked up the note and it read ‘For you Amor - N”. I smiled at his thoughtfulness and walked into the livingroom where he was watching TV. I placed the food on the coffee table before sitting on his lap and kissing his cheek.

“Thank you Ney.” I said softly. He welcomed my gesture and kissed mine back.

“You’re so very welcome amor. I apologise for being an ass, I know your work is important.”

I grinned at his words before catching his lips with mine. It didn’t matter how much we argued, we always sorted it out. 


My first imagine!

I hope you all enjoyed it. Be sure to request my loves! 

-Anna x 

Why I need feminism in my community
  • Me and a fried: -having a normal conversation in a popular area walking by the beach -
  • Some random guy in his late 20's or early 30's: HEY GIRLS! Are you from around here? You girls "tourist?" Would you like a "personal" tour guide? I could show you ladies all the "best places" if you know what I mean!
  • Me: -stoping dead in my tracts- *friend tugging me forward* "excuse me?"
  • Guy and his friends: -smiles- I said if you need a local to "show you around"
  • My friend: "no thank you we live here as well" *still tugging on my arm*
  • Me: -recognizes one of the boys- *stares at the boy around my age* "does your mother know your here ELIOT"
  • Guys: *are taken aback by me calling one of them by name* "so what do you say "sexy thing"
  • Me: "what do I say? I say... Sexual harassment and dew to the fact that one of us is under age statutory rape"
  • Guy: "I was just trying to be nice"
  • Me: "what part of that do you thing is pleasant? To have sexual advances by someone almost twice my age?"
  • Guy: "bitch it was a complement take it easy"
  • My friend: *wide eyed as i'm 5 foot 1 inch and staring down a full grown man in the eye that's almost 6 foot*
  • Me: " A what ? It was a WHAT? You need to pull your head out your ass and clean the shit out your ears because I don't think you actually hear how fucking stupid you sound!
  • My friend: -stands behind me as the creepy guy steps forward-
  • Guy: "what did you say?"
  • Me: "you heard me loud and clear unless your comprehensive levels are lacking and if it's a "complement" I hope you tell it to your mother every day because I'm sure she allows you to say something disrespectful like that all the time right? *glances over at Eliot* because "Eliot" I'm sure ill be telling your mother about it personally
  • My friend: *in complete panic*
  • -hiding behind me-
  • Guy and his friends: *proceed to insult me and say profanities to me for talking back to them and being "bitchy"
  • Me: *walks away calmly to enjoy the rest of my wonderful day at the beach with my friend I haven't seen in almost a year.
Preference #17 He Sticks Up For You Being Thin [Requested]

Scott: “She’ll probably just order a salad then throw it up. That’s why she’s so abnormally thin.” A malicious female voice snickered from behind you; suddenly the vast choices arranged on the lunch buffet in designated bowls appeared as more trouble than you were willing to endure. The teenage girls at Beacon Hills High School were relentless in their pursuit of your demise; physical and mental. Scott McCall, your newly titled boyfriend, was sought after by girls of every social caliber as he was lacrosse captain, handsome, sweet and kindhearted. The moment he asked you out, a massive target had been engraved on your forehead; everyone suddenly knew who you were. They did their best to break you down; shoving you in the hallways en route to class, leaving hateful notes in your locker, spreading vicious rumors about your personal life, and forcing cruel insecurities upon your self-esteem. “Hm, I’ve never known her to do that.” Scott’s annoyed voice startled the girls as he wedged his athletic frame between the insufferable gossips, wrapping a protective arm around your narrow shoulders. “She’s perfect as she is. I’ve never seen a girl more beautiful than her.” He commented with an adoring glisten in his warm milk chocolate eyes. He was always there to fight for you and he always would be.

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Rape is rape. Violence is violence. Sexual assault is sexual assault. These issues are not exclusive to one gender and should not be treated like a one sided issue, and disagreeing with someone who has a different opinion shouldn’t result in insults and profanity. If you see something that you don’t agree with than respond to it in a appropriate manner instead of looking like a mad baboon. Just be more kind and understanding to others, we’re all people after all right?

Like A Woman Scorned

Hell Hath No Fury Continued! 

Go back and read Part One if you missed it!

God, this is therapeutic to write. Once again, dedicated to all those hella bomb queens out there that stick together and stick up for each other! 

Note: Before any asks “Are you doing Part 3?” Please give me some ideas for a Part 3! Because, as always, I have no plan and make this shit up as I go!!

Warnings: swearing, revenge(?), angst.

Tags: @jodyri​ - Yes, I was listening to Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood! @winchester-with-wings​ - My darling beta for this one :)

You leaned up against the wall of the Roadhouse, baseball bat held at your side. Jo collapsed beside you, crowbar in her lap. Two flushed faces, breathing a little heavy from the exertion. She threw her head back and laughed at the sight before her.

“He is going to lose it. Twenty bucks says he cries like a baby,” she said with a smirk that screamed evil villain.

Dean’s ‘67 Chevy Impala was looking a little worse for wear, to say the least. Everything that could be shattered was. Windows, mirror and lights lay in a million tiny pieces on the ground. You recalled the insults and profanities you had screamed as you stood on the hood and swung your bat right at the spot Dean usually sat. Was that before or after you had taken your knife to the backseat? You had spent countless nights blissfully asleep on that backseat, your exhaustion overcoming you on the ride back to the bunker. That  was tainted now with images of other women spending a night on the same seat, just as blissful but not so much sleeping. The words ‘LIAR’ and ‘CHEAT’ cut into the leather would make that a little more difficult now.

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it’s like okay basically here’s how it goes

  1. awwwww cute!! = i like it
  2. AW A BAB = i like it a LOT
  3. OH WHAT A DUMB NERD = REALLY like it, getting pretty excited

You would never forget the first time you met Calum Hood. In fact, you COULDN’T forget it. The two of you had been lying to your parents about how you truly met since the very beginning. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of what happened, it was the fact that you had been drunk and decided to skinny dip in your neighbor’s pool, completely unaware that the house was no longer vacant. What a great first impression.

It hadn’t even been 5 minutes before you heard someone clearing their throat. Another 2 minutes before you realized you weren’t just wasted and hearing things. His mocha hues stood out so beautifully and for a split second you could have sworn he was a bronzed god under the dim outdoor lighting.

“This is all part of the ‘welcome to the neighborhood ceremony, I swear.”

He chuckled, shaking his head as he squatted at the edge of the pool, his eyes fixated on yours. “If that’s the case, should I invite my parents out here so they can be a part of this ceremony as well?”

Your eyes grew wide as you admired the numerous dimples that spread across his features as he grinned at you. He was a little shit and he was toying with you. Taking advantage of your drunken state and emotions. “No, you will do just fine.”

And with that, you returned Calum’s grin before grabbing his hand and pulling him into the pool, ignoring the string of insults and profanities that escaped his mouth as you did so.

for @witty5sosurl and @asickburnout’s best friend!5sos night!

I will never accept it!!!

Me: Naruto ended on 698.

NH/SS: Haha our ships are canon. You’ll just have to accept it.

Me: I am not going to accept that OOC fanfiction. I will never accept.

NH/SS: All you care about is your ship not being canon. Your just disrespecting the author just accept it ended this way.

Me: The ships are probably 15% of what I’m mad about honestly. I’m mostly mad that they killed the three main character’s character development.

NH/SS: Who cares about that. Our ship is canon just accept it.

Me: …Sure

NH/SS: Yes!!!

Me: Psych!!! *Does nice guy pose and big goofy smile* I will never accept that horrible ending and that is a promise of a lifetime.

NH/SS: UGHHH!!! *Insert insults and profanity here*

Me: *smiles wider* Thanks for cheering me on!!!