instruments

Accurate Descriptions of Instruments
  • Piccolos: no.
  • Flutes: what you are y'all like some of y'all are really weird and some of you guys are walking goddesses
  • Oboes: duck sounds, and tuning issues. also chill out ur not oboe god
  • Clarinets: SHADY AS HELL????? AT EACHOTHERS THROATS LIKE 24/7
  • Saxophones: You guys are really full of yourselves or emo.
  • Tenor saxophones: Weird. Wierdos.
  • Bari Saxophones: Even weirder than the tenors believe it or not
  • Bassoons: Either lil shits or angels blessed from the high heavens no in between
  • Bass Clarinets: Emo nerds. That's it.
  • Trumpets: The big ego thing is not a lie, you either know it or you are in denial.
  • French Horns: toot toot. hon hon hon baguette.
  • Trombones: A giant cult. Laughs at fart jokes, god complex.
  • Euphoniums: Y'all are fucking weird as hell.
  • Tubas: big toot
  • Percussion: sex jokes and rim shots
The instruments during rehearsal
  • Flutes: KNOW the director can see them texting. Don't care.
  • Clarinets: trying to figure out how many sixteenth notes per phrase they can get away with NOT playing before the director notices
  • Oboes: sharing discouraged looks as they constantly fail to be in tune with each other
  • Piccolo: hyperventilating
  • Bassoons: "we represent sin/death/the devil. Fuck with us."
  • Bass clarinet: has actually dropped his instrument twice and has the wrong piece of music out on the stand.
  • Trumpets: playing so loud that everyone in front of them is going deaf. Complaining that the percussion is so loud they are deaf.
  • Saxophones: are talking audibly. Have switched shoes with each other. Have switched horns and music too. The director still hasn't noticed.
  • French horns: are quiet until one of them makes a pun. The director hears laughter and instantly scolds them for talking.
  • Trombones: only one of them has a pencil, and he has to get up and sharpen it during rehearsal.
  • Baritone: probably has head phones in. No one really knows.
  • Tuba: "I can play everything down the octave. I bet I can hold this pedal tone for 11 measures without the director noticing"
  • Percussion: "my part says to play cymbal and triangle but I'm only gonna play one of them."
  • Q: Would you guys ever date a fan?
  • Ashton: Well it would suck if you dated someone who just despised your band. Like you would take her to your gig and she would just yell beside the stage 'YOU GUYS SUCK'
  • Luke: 'WHY AM I HERE!? THIS SUCKS'
  • Michael: 'YOU DON'T EVEN PLAY YOUR INSTRUMENTS!'

I love when musicians say things like “I am a violin” rather than “I play the violin.” and we do it so casually, too. “you’re a viola. you wouldn’t understand.” “oh, her? she’s an oboe.” it makes me so happy that we call ourselves the instruments we play and that it’s perfectly normal to do so

Better Names for the Instruments: A Guide
  • piccolo: baby flute
  • flute: shiny wind tube
  • oboe: well-disguised duck
  • bassoon: what the actual fuck
  • clarinet: really advanced recorder
  • bass clarinet: a saxophone and a clarinet's illicit lovechild
  • alto saxophone: cooler clarinet
  • tenor saxophone: bigger saxophone for some reason
  • baritone saxophone: the god of saxophones
  • trumpet: that's a trumpet i know everything bow to me the musical knowledge god
  • mellophone: slightly larger trumpet
  • french horn: shiny drunk trumpet
  • trombone: the slidey one
  • baritone: tiny tuba
  • tuba: *elephant noises*
  • various percussion instruments: things played by hot people

no but you know what i love? michael’s guitars and how used they look like here

like luke always has those brand new guitars and calum’s TWLOHA bass is from like three years ago but still looks like new but michael’s two guitars are so old and used and there’s something really punk rock about the way he just leaves it be okay i love michael

The instruments of an orchestra, as described by Tumblr
  • Flute: I will actually KILL you for your ChAIR. IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH
  • Piccolo: I am angry at everything also your ears just exploded lmao
  • Violin: Violins I: *practices 2 days each day* IM PERFECT. Violins II: I will always live in the shadow of the firsts
  • Viola: everyone always forgets about me also iT'S noT A VioLIn!!!!!
  • Cello: wats rhythm wats a conductor
  • Double bass: i play like 3 notes in a phrase
  • Clarinet: *squeaks*
  • Oboe: REEDS
  • Bassoon: ????? do i exist
  • Trumpet: I AM THE GOD OF EVERYTHING. EGO.
  • Trombone: *hits unsuspecting musicians in the back of their head*
  • Tuba: 1...5...1...5...1...5...
  • French horn: totally not emptying the contens of my spit valve onto the floor
  • Percussion: *hits everything* this is an instrument *slaps u* this is an instrument
  • Harp: how do i even transport my instrument also it takes like 3 years to tune this thing
  • Piano: IM MY OWN ORCHESTRA SCREW YOU ALL *sees concert etudes* ahhhhhhhh