instrument humor

When You Criticize The Instruments
  • flutes: *nod stoically and then go alternately cry from embarrassment and plot revenge the the bathroom*
  • clarinets: it's my reed
  • saxes: *don't realize the director is talking to them; continue conversation about nothing to do with band*
  • trumpets: yoU WANNA GO BITCH IM THE BEST
  • horns: i play like five measures in this whole piece the fuck do you want from me
  • trombones: haha I know man *fistbump each other*
  • tubas: excuse you we are the foundation of this band so we are never wrong
  • percussionists: *mutter mutiny under their breath and don't fix it because they weren't doing it wrong in the first place*
The sections as things they've said or done in my band
  • Piccolo: Just because you can hear me doesn't mean I know what I'm doing
  • Flutes: *throws tuner across the room*
  • Clarinets: I just didn't realize I'd actually have to do work
  • Alto Sax: Endless sexual innuendo jokes lol
  • Tenor Sax: *comes in late* *salutes behind band directors back*
  • Bari Sax: *comes to every rehearsal stoned*
  • French Horns: *deep throats leadpipe*
  • Trumpets: Let's trip on acid before we perform
  • Trombones/Euphs: I only talk to freshman if they have a watch because that's all that matters
  • Tubas: *gets boner right before a field show*
  • Percussionists: *throws drumsticks into the ceiling*
  • Drum Majors: I just got hit in the boob with a flag, but it's okay
  • Band Director: Pretend your mellophone is a water gun, and squirt me with your sound
Alternate Instrument Names:

Oboe: obi won
Clarinet: squidward
Flute: metal recorder
Piccolo: ear knife
Saxaphone: fuck phone
Barri sax: BIG low fuck phone
Bass clarinet: big squidward
Trumpet: yikes
French horn: bendy straw horn
Trombone: one loud motherfucker
Tuba: band dad
Baritone: smol tuba Bassoon: needy and wants to be included?? Percussion: miles teller

Friend: What’s that, a clarinet?

Me: No, it’s an oboe.

Friend: …sooo it’s not a clarinet?

Me: NO IT’S NOT A CLARINET IT’S A FUCKING DUCK-KAZOO GO AWAY

ID #42484

Name: Kaitlyn
Age: 14
Country: USA

hi my name is kaitlyn, i’m a 14 year old girl from california looking for a friend. i’m obsessed with PJO, TMI, reading in general. i also love art and drawing.IF YOU LIKE THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS PLEASE CONTACT IM FANGIRLING AND I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO.i’m the kind of person you can say anything to and won’t judge you for. looking for someone who won’t mind my dark humor and awkwardness. mainly internet friends but i’m open to snail mail.

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