instrument abuse!

instruments as trumpets see them
  • french horn: weird, unbalanced, awkward instruments that should not exist
  • tuba: big hunk of brass that sounds like an elephant
  • euphonium: smaller tuba
  • flute: don't know, never heard one
  • mellophone: less awesome trumpet
  • trombone: we drift from gods light every day because of trombones
  • saxophone: only good for jazz
  • clarinet: wood stick that screeches a lot
  • oboe: clarinets that insist on being weird
  • bassoon: basically water buffalos as instruments
  • percussion: abuse of random objects
Your Fave is Problematic Pt. 1: To Love is To Destroy

When Jace Herondale, the male lead in The Mortal Instruments, was six years old he was given a very harsh lesson for his birthday by his father in the form of a pet falcon. A falcon he was instructed by his demanding father to make obedient. He bonded with the falcon, tamed it, and loved it dearly.  Upon presenting the falcon to his father, his father snapped the falcon’s neck before his very eyes. Jace’s mistake from his father’s perspective was that he had ruined the falcon, he’d been told to train it, not to love it. When recalling this story to Clary ten years later, the moment has clearly left its mark as he tells her: “The boy never cried again and he never forgot what he learned: to love is to destroy, to be loved is to be the one destroyed.” (City of Bones 329)

To be clear asking Jace’s adoptive father Valentine Morgenstern, who abused not only his children but his wife, for advice on love, would be much like putting Bill Cosby on a sexual assault prevention task force. However in the world of Young Adult novels, ‘to love is to destroy’ is an apt observation. (City of Bones 329) In the scope of fantasy of a YA heroine, these things will be true: she will be beautiful, she will save the world, and she will find true love. But all too often in YA, “I love you,” is used as a justification for female characters being subjected to physical and emotional violence. In YA, the romantic relationships are often endgame, but very rarely are healthy. (Taylor 389)  And the way that these relationships that range from unhealthy to outright abusive are portrayed, discussed, and ultimately received by fans is troubling.

Although werewolves and the characters are fictional, dating violence among teenagers is an all too real problem. The CDC defines teen dating violence as the physical, sexual, psychological, or emotional violence within a relationship. 1 in 3 adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse from someone they’re romantically involved with. 1 in 10 high school students report having been physically hurt by a significant other. Girls and women between 16 and 24 experience intimate partner violence at three times the rate of the national average. 94 percent of those women and girls are between the ages of 16-19. (Loveisrespect | empowering youth to end dating abuse)

Teenage girls identify heavily with characters in the YA books that they read. In some cases, teenaged readers sometimes look to these characters for a model of how to handle real life situations.  (Kokesh, Sternadori 7) It’s normal and expected that female characters will find their soul mates before the age of 18. In fantasy, in particular, the relationships are written as being “fated.” (Taylor 391) As Kristina Deffenbacher noted the prominence of soul bonds in these books complicates narratives surrounding dating violence and not in a positive way. (Deffernbacher 926) It’s not inherently wrong to have a heroine or character involved in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, provided that the relationship ends.  More than that so long as the author makes it clear in the text the relationship was unhealthy or abusive. Making them permanent normalizes abuse. (Taylor 389) These narratives unfortunately rarely go that way.  As these characters are written as being destined to be together instances of abuse are easily brushed off, because the idea is that a relationship with a soulmate cannot be toxic as it was written in the stars. (Deffenbacher 923) Clary Fray, Celaena Sardothien, and Maia Roberts although all on varying spaces on the spectrum of unhealthy relationships each of their relationships represents a different sort of unhealthy relationship found in YA fantasy novels.

Maia Roberts and Jordan Kyle in The Mortal Instruments are an example of abuse being rationalized. Maia Roberts does not trust beautiful boys and with good reason. Her brother Daniel’s innocent looks are what made her parents disbelieve her when she tried to tell them about his violent behavior towards her until he died. The next beautiful boy she meets is Jordan Kyle, who would become her first boyfriend and her solace in a town where she was ostracized for being a curvy biracial girl in a sea blond hair and blue eyes. At least for a little while.  Further, into their relationship Jordan becomes possessive and jealous and more than once is physically violent with her.  Having had enough, Maia tried to end the relationship. Jordan responded by knocking her to the ground. Feeling like the only way out is to show Jordan their relationship is over Maia kisses another boy in front of him. She hoped that, that would be the end of that except that one night walking home a wolf follows her and bites her neck so hard that she winds up in the hospital. The bite is so brutal that years later she wears the scars from the attack on her neck. When thinking of the event later this would be recalled:

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On the fandom and its ignorance (pt. i)

The fandom is so obsessed with Malec, and I get that, I do. I’m pansexual and transgender. Malec representation is amazing and wonderful and inspiring. But the fact that we have so many straight people fetishizing and so many queer social justice tumblrinas ignoring the rest of the show and book series is disturbing.

You have Clary Fairchild, an amazingly selfless girl who fights for her family and blood and friends no matter what the personal cost. And yeah, she’s straight and white and cis. What the fuck, why do you think that means you can hate her? Again, I am queer. And I’m telling you as a queer that it’s not okay to hate straight people for being straight, and it’s not okay to hate cis people for being cis. They can’t help their sexuality or their gender identity any more than we can. Their sexuality and their gender is not an attack against you. There are so many wonderful cis straight people and characters. Exhibit A: Clary Fairchild.

Exhibit B: Isabelle Lightwood. Now, I ship Clizzy just as much as the next person, but Izzy is canonically straight. I don’t have the exact citation, but she says once that if she were interested in girls, she was certain she would go for Aline– I think this is in CoLS or CoHF. (If anyone has the citation, please give it to me!) So! Izzy is cis and straight. She is also canonically the best unenhanced Shadowhunter of the TMI generation (meaning excluding Jace, Clary, and Sebastian) (also if u have citations, give them to me please). THIS IS IMPORTANT. Izzy is amazing, and I see a lot of people commending her on wielding and taking control of her sexuality and femininity, and that’s great. But she’s more than that. In the books, she shows an amazing character arc of not only a girl learning how to love, but a girl learning how to trust other girls. A lot of people criticize CC for having Izzy and Clary being catty at the start of their relationship, but you’re missing the point. That is the beauty of their relationship. These two girls who have always fit in with the boys and mistrusted girls learn how to destroy their internalized misogyny and become good friends. Reducing Izzy to the “sexy feminist woohoo yeah” is kind of shitty. She held the burden of a broken home and suffered from it. She is a complex character, yes, even in the books (ESPECIALLY in the books). Izzy stands for so much more than sexuality and a puppet for the fandom’s lesbian fantasies.

Exhibit C: Simon Lewis. Oh God, how can I even begin to explain how much love and respect this character deserves? Simon is the most loyal one of the group. The only thing that pulls him into the Shadow World is his love and loyalty for Clary, and that is truly amazing. Simon, even after having his heart broken by Clary in the books and being unwittingly rejected by her in the show still turns back up to help her fight. In the show, he arrives just in time to save the entire gang from Abaddon and send him back to the Void. Even after Simon gets turned into a vampire because of his loyalty to Clary and subsequent ties to the Shadow World, he still comes for her. In the show, he agrees to live in the hotel in “Rise Up” to get Raphael to cooperate with the gang. In the books, he takes the goddamn Mark of Cain and deals with its trauma and helps fight in the Mortal War. Simon is such a respectable character for this alone, but he is also so much more. For one thing, he is a Jewish vampire. The Clave and Valentine and many others use his faith against him, and I think CC should be commended for this, because it directly parallels the abuse and blackmail of Jews all throughout history. For another thing, Simon is the boy who loves Isabelle Lightwood. He is the boy who sees past her facade and bravado and “I don’t give a damns.” Yes, he has a fling with Maia– but Isabelle never defined the relationship, and she even admits to Clary that she had never considered making it exclusive; she was willing to fool around and likely doing so, even though she expected Simon to be dedicated. Simon apologizes anyway to both Maia and Izzy, and he doesn’t let this awkwardness disrupt the greater mission of fighting Sebastian and the Dark Guard. He falls for Izzy slowly and deeply; in the demon realm, he almost bleeds himself out to heal her from a demon attack. He helps her heal herself from all of the damage Maryse and Robert’s toxic relationship caused. So what if he’s straight and cis and white? That doesn’t negate what really matters.

And finally, here we go. Exhibit D: Jace Herondale. Jace is easily the most undervalued character in the fandom, both the show fandom and the book fandom. Oh hurdy-hur-hur, he is straight and white and cis and male and cocky. This doesn’t have anything to do with his value as a person/character. Jace can’t help being white and straight and male and cis. Jace is cocky and acts like a “fuckboy” because he is broken and hurt and values his looks, not because he’s actually a dick but because that’s all he values about himself. Show fans don’t know this yet, and that’s okay, but Jace was told his entire childhood by Valentine that he was weak and inferior because of his propensity for mercy and love. As such, Jace harbors a deep self loathing. As we can see in both the books and the show, Jace is not allowed the title of the “brainy one.” In the show, Izzy is the genius, which is great. In the books, literally anyone but Jace is the genius, even though Jace is canonically fluent in many languages and is highly advanced in his studies. Jace is reduced by his peers and environment to being the muscle and the charm. And he ACCEPTS THIS. What does this tell you about him? He doesn’t value anything about himself but his looks. “To love is to destroy, and to be loved is the be the one destroyed.” This is what his father taught him, and this is what Jace believes. “The point is,” he says to Clary in ‘Dead Man’s Party’, “it [encanto] wears off, just like love.” Jace was clearly abused by the man thought to be his father, and he doesn’t believe in love, just as he doesn’t believe in himself.

There is so much to love in Jace’s character. He is NOT the character that you have seen in every other YA novel and teen show. Jace isn’t your “tormented fuckboy”– he is a male abuse survivor. He isn’t even the one who saves the day, that’s Clary. Jace is Clary’s sidekick. Jace fits the trope of “damsel in distress” better than he fits he trope of “fuckboy” anyway. Clary saves him so many times, resurrecting him in CoG, saving him from Lilith’s hold in CoFA (even if just temporarily), breaking Sebastian’s possession in CoLS, and from Sebastian and the demon realm in CoHF. Jace is a boy learning to overcome abuse, love himself, and fall in love.

Okay. I can’t work on this anymore, because I’m getting super emotional. I will post a part two later on, addressing my issues with the fandom idolizing Alec (although I do love him) and the importance of recognizing that Magnus has a character outside of being Alec’s boyfriend. But for now, I have to post this before I lose my courage. There will undoubtedly be a bunch of wankers who take offense at the suggestion that hating cis white straight characters for being cis and white and straight is a really shitty thing to do. But I feel like I have to do this, because Clary, Isabelle, Simon, and Jace have helped me overcome so many demons of my own in the years I’ve known them. Yes, I’m a book fan. Yes, I know about the charges. I also happen to think they’re bullshit, and maybe I’ll post a part three detailing why. Who knows? I think it’s important to also say that I’m a show fan. I love this universe. I love these characters. This is my testament to them, and I hope that you’ll see their goodness and maybe appreciate them a bit more.


Your Fave is Problematic: Jordan and Maia

So since Todd says Jordan will definitely be in season 3 of Shadowhunters, I figured today would be as good a day as any to start sharing my senior thesis. You know that time I examined The Mortal Instruments and Throne of Glass. I’ll be starting with the chapter on toxic relationships in YA. I’m willing to answer any asks I might get on this, but dear stans if you send me hate I’ll block you.

GAHHH. GUYS. GUYSSSSSS. Why am I such a nerd? I get so excited when I hear music that I don’t understand (read as: it sounds good to me but I haven’t worked out the relationship between musical notes that makes it sound so good), and I just get SO determined to take it apart, separating every single instrument and looking at the interval between notes played at the same time…I JUST CANT WAIT UNTIL EXAMS ARE OVER AND I CAN SPEND THE WHOLE DAY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO REPLICATE IT ON THE PIANO…i realise i haven’t mentioned what go me so excited in the first place, and it’s Sonic Youth. Yeah Thurston is a fucking jerk but I don’t even care, yes they abuse instruments to no end but that’s what’s getting me curious, y'all. Playing guitar with a fucking NAIL FILER? Sign me the fuck up. It’s also weird as hell that I’m suddenly so into these bands that I dismissed as “noise” a couple years back. Also, I’m usually more into the intrinsic properties of the musical notes (as in, intervals and chords and harmonies and stuff) than I am the singer’s(s’) voice(s) (why am I such a grammar nazi), which is the reason why I started listening to Nirvana anyway, considering I’m not even a huge fan of Kurt’s voice. (goddamn, Drew, did you just say that? Yes I did) Uh, I don’t know where I’m going with this. Let’s just say I basically took apart every nirvana song ever written in my head and I’ve kinda figured out the actually very frequently reccurent pattern in Kurt’s chord choices, and my brain is itching to take apart something else now, and I just started to listen to Sonic Youth again, so now I know what to try and take apart next, LOL

(on standby is Bartok who writes amazing concertos which I really need to start analysing some day)

Castiel as the Man of La Mancha

I have seen meta about Cas’ grace being hidden in the book Don Quixote and how that book relates to Supernatural because it is a work of meta fiction itself. However, the first thing that struck me is the incredibly romantic history of that book.

Don Quixote was made into a musical called The Man of La Mancha and it is a romantic story of chivalrous love and transformative love that sees past outward flaws into the person underneath. The lyrics are really moving and the musical has even been adopted by one of the biggest marriage supporting organizations in the world, World Wide Marriage Encounter, because the songs in it depict and unselfish representation of love.

In it, Quixote, chooses to go on a knightly mission, singing:

This is my Quest to follow that star,
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far,
To fight for the right
Without question or pause,
To be willing to march into hell
For a heavenly cause!

He perceives himself as a noble knight, sees the prostitute Aldonza, and believes she is the ideal woman and calls her Dulcinea. He sings to her:

I have dreamed thee too long,
Never seen thee or touched thee.
But known thee with all of my heart.
I see heaven when I see thee, Dulcinea
and thy name is like a prayer an angel whispers
I have sought thee, sung thee, dreamed thee

The whole Don Quixote/Man of La Mancha can be read as such a Destiel parallel. Castiel, who was this eons old angel of the Lord, was filled with such heavenly mission and righteousness when he saved Dean. He was on a noble quest that he believed was on God’s orders and was going to save the world. And he met this broken soul, who was doing terrible things, torturing souls in hell and liking it. But Cas saw the value in Dean immediately. Like Quixote gives Aldonza the name Dulcinea, Castiel tells Dean he deserves the title of Righteous Man.

However, Aldonza at first thinks Quixote is crazy because she is just a poor waitress and whore whose mother left her and who never knew her father. Let’s just say she ‘doesn’t think she deserves to be saved.’ She doesn’t want to accept how Quixote holds her in such high regard and sings:

You have shown me the sky,
But what good is the sky
To a creature who’ll never
Do better than crawl?
Can’t you see what your gentle
Insanities do to me?
Rob me of anger and give me despair! 
Blows and abuse
I can take and give back again,
Tenderness I cannot bear!

And like Aldonza, Dean doesn’t accept the title of Righteous Man. “I can’t do it, Cas. It’s too big. Alastair was right. I’m not all here. I’m not strong enough. Well, I guess I’m not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It’s not me.” Dean, like Aldonza, didn’t see his own value. He believed he was just daddy’s blunt instrument (that blows and abuse I can take and give back but tenderness I cannot bear line gets me every time), didn’t think he deserved to be saved, and certainly didn’t think he deserved the loyalty, friendship, and love of an angel. And now, with the Mark of Cain bearing down on him, he really doesn’t believe he deserves anything. Cas has to remind him that he was stupid for the right reasons and that he is a good role model. And Cas will tell anyone who will listen that the Winchesters are the best men he knows (and punch you in the face for insulting Dean - just saying).

But Quixote is insistent she is worthy and tells her:

I ask of my lady that I may be allowed to serve her
that I may hold her in my heart
that to her I may dedicate each victory
and call upon her in defeat
and if at last I give my life
I give it in the sacred name of Dulcinea.

Aldonza can’t understand what Quixote wants from her because someone always wants something from her, but he insists that he just wants to serve her and will even give his life for her. Sound like an angel we know? Castiel hasn’t needed Dean since the Apocalypse, not really. He could have gone back to his former life, returned to being an angel and left the Winchesters to their business. But he has returned over and over to Dean and given everything from his sanity, his freedom, and his life for them.

And in the end, Aldonza finally is inspired by Quixote’s sacrifice and his belief in her, so much so that she stops devaluing herself and accepts that she is Dulcinea. A famous quote from the book is “hope is always born at the same time as love.” So I guess the big question is… will Dean ever see himself the way Cas does enough to have hope to accept the love Cas has offered?

anonymous asked:

The other day I picked up Saving Raphael Santiago to reread my favorite parts and I caught myself wondering: what was Raphael's life like before he got Turned? We know very little about that actually. And he was so young back than, basically TMI Raphael could be SRS Raphael's grandpa XD Obviously he has changed much since than. So do you have any human/teenager!Raphael headcanons? I have some myself but you are the queen of Raphael trash and I just need your headcanons!

Oh boy do I have headcanons for this. Eventually I will write something about it (*cough* Santiago Chronicles *cough*) but for now, have some adorable mundane Raphael headcanons.

  • He’s basically replacement father to his little brothers. After his father left, Guadalupe would have had to support the family on her own and there are a looot of children, so while she’s at work Raphael would do all the domestic duties in order to help his mother and look after his brothers: cooking, cleaning, making sure they do their homework, etc. He’d have started doing this from a very young age
  • I already wrote a thing for this here, but Raphael was the one who eventually drove their father out because he needed to go but Raphael knew Guadalupe would never do it
  • The reason his father was an abusive alcoholic was because he’d never wanted a family. Raphael had been an accident and then his parents were forced to get married to hide the shame of having a baby out of wedlock, and so his father has always resented Raphael the most for it
  • Raphael may or may not have, on occasion, stolen things that his family needed. Food, money, the new bike his little brother really wanted. You know, the necessities
  • RAPHAEL WAS IN A CHURCH CHOIR HE SINGS LIKE AN ANGEL HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT
  • He was that kind of kid who loved to go exploring, so when he actually had time to himself he’d go wandering off on his own, looking for new places and hideouts
  • If anyone hurt one of his brothers Raphael would fuck them up
  • He also loved reading (and always does, even after becoming a vampire), but when he was learning English he’d use books written in English to teach himself, and so he’d have loads of books where there are Spanish translations written all over the pages and English words written out phonetically to remind himself how to pronounce them
  • He’d have been that kid in school who everyone thinks is really cool but is also really intimidated by them. He’d try to keep mostly to himself, with just a small group of friends who were all older than him (the ones who went with him to kill Louis Karnstein and never came back)
  • Raphael seems to be very reliant on logic and information so his favourite subjects were probably maths and science
  • But he was probably one of those annoying little shits who were good at every subject without even trying
  • Not that he wouldn’t have studied hard, but school would always come second to his family

lololovescheese  asked:

Miss Sci what kind of music does DJ like? Does he like to dance? Sing? Maybe play an instrument?

Clint convinced Thor that bagpipes were the traditional gift to give to children who were turning ten.  He honestly did not think this particular piece of assholery through.

He did not think this through AT ALL.

After a few horrible, horrible days in which a very expensive musical instrument was horribly, horribly abused by a small child with unlimited access to internet instruction and a tendency to obsess on things, Steve convinced him to switch to a recorder until he was bigger.  Tony, for his part, engineered a convenient ‘accident’ involving the pipes and the fabrication units.

Clint is still paying for this in so many ways.

Singing isn’t DJ’s thing, but he does like to whistle, and he loves dancing.  He was raised in the workshop, after all, and he did inherit the Stark ‘boogie down’ gene.

It’s kind of freaking me out to realize just how many times in my life sci fi and fantasy has been instrumental in my sexual abuse, or abuse that I was aware of or witnessed. Grooming is a motherfucker. Books full of rape culture or stories with a heavy philosophical bent about how great incest is make fantastic boundary smashers–and predators within the sci fi/fantasy world know this. It doesn’t help that there’s a thriving misogynistic culture within the genres that flips its shit when the problem is highlighted, like every criticism is a call for censorship and thought-policing.

To be very clear: I don’t believe in censorship. I 100% blame the perpetrators for the abuse.

But I just realized what an effort it takes for me just to be a regular fan. I’ve seen the dark side, I recognize the triggers, and now I have to keep the peace with it. I must coexist with an awful lot of abuse-enabling, grooming-compatible authorial screwiness (the rapeyness, the misogyny, anything Heinlein ever thought was a nifty idea) just to be a regular fan. To enjoy the wonderful stories that saved my sanity as a weird and nerdy kid, I have to forgive the magic for letting me down.

I don’t have any solutions for the problem. Censorship is bullshit and if I said “don’t let children read above their age level” I would be a douchebag. I guess just try to keep the lines of communication open with your precocious readers, if you have kids, and engage with them about what is and what is not healthy behavior in the stories they love. Raise a critical thinker who knows it’s OK to be confused and come to you for help.

And if grown-ass men hang around wanting to talk to your kids about Heinlein, get a shotgun, load it with rock salt, and aim for the balls.

griffinfeld  asked:

do you get hate mail or angry messages from people after pointing out that their dog isn't in fact a wolf?? and have you ever been instrumental in shutting down abusive dog breeding operations/puppy mills??

I get hate mail and threatening/rude remarks all the time from people who are told their animals aren’t what they think they are. And I’m not the only one. Many educators in the wolfdog community have received flack for their efforts in battling misrepresentation and it’s so common, in fact, that we have a phrase for it: “When someone gets mad/irate when told that their dog is not part wolf, then it’s clear that it’s not the dog they care about, but the status they think it brings them.”

The anger stems, I think, from the fact that so many people project their own personality onto their animals; having a ‘piece of the wild’ in their home, tame and docile as a *cough* dog *cough* gives them an ego boost and makes them feel special. When someone tells them, then, that said 'piece of the wild’ isn’t there and never was, folks perceive it as a threat to their own sense of self-worth.

Again, it’s a matter of someone putting their ego before the safety of their (and others’) animal(s).

As for shutting down wolfdog breeders - I have investigated and reported one exceptionally atrocious backyard puppy mill in central Oregon, documenting with photos and videos the conditions that the breeders’ animals were kept in. But since the legal proceedings are confidential (being an issue of the breeder Vs. local law enforcement) I cannot say what happened as a result of my report, as the case appears to be ongoing.

I have followed it as closely as I can with the information I obtain from fellow members of the wolfdog community who live in close proximity to the breeder, but have no access to the case beyond that. My understanding is that the woman responsible for the abuse has stopped breeding any more of her dogs, though what’s become of the ones still in her care is unknown.

They likely could not be adopted-out even if they were rescued from her, so it would be a huge undertaking for any rescue to accomplish. Breed-specific rescues are always full, and no county shelter would even consider touching the case with a 10-foot pole because of the “wolfdog” label some of the animals have.

That is actually the main reasoning behind my decision to move to the middle of nowhere to live on a property with proper acreage. I have plans in mind to continue fostering animals, with a focus specifically on escape artists who require wolfdog-proof containment. They may or may not be actual wolfdogs - I currently foster a “wolf-a-like” pup right now, and recently had the pleasure of adopting-out his sister to her Forever Home - and they are both escapists. If there is a dog in need and my home happens to be a good fit, I will do what I can for them.

Even so, I know my limits, and will only foster up to two animals at a time long-term. I may accept bonded pairs if they can exist together in the same containment. It will all depend on many factors when the time does come. For now, I am focused on finding the right place and getting everything set up before I take on any more animals!

anonymous asked:

Hi! Do you have posts about 'abuse by proxy'?

Abuse is a proxy, also know an triangulation is a tactic designed to turn the people in your life against you. Abusers will portray themselves as the victim and incite others to attack the true victim on their behalf.

“If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbors  the media, teachers – in short, third parties – to do his bidding. He uses them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate his target. He controls these unaware instruments exactly as he plans to control his ultimate prey. He employs the same mechanisms and devices. And he dumps his props unceremoniously when the job is done. Another form of control by proxy is to engineer situations in which abuse is inflicted upon another person. Such carefully crafted scenarios of embarrassment and humiliation provoke social sanctions (condemnation, opprobrium, or even physical punishment) against the victim. Society, or a social group become the instruments of the abuser.” 

You can read more about triangulation here: X X X