instead of oil

Hoe Tips

Okay so these are tips that can make a hoes life so much easier. Enjoy 💕💕

1. Throw away any shaving cream use coconut butter or oil to shave, than apply oil after you dry off. BAM. NO STUBBLE. NO BURN. IT’S THE SHIT.

2. Don’t use shaving cream or coconut butter for your coochie. Use Johnson’s baby oil instead. You’ll have no razor burn.

3. There isn’t anything wrong with your natural coochie smell, but if you want to taste sweet eat cranberries or pineapple. SHIT WORKS.

4. Stretch marks on inner thighs? Use Vaseline and coconut oil over night EVERY NIGHT to get rid of them.

5. Men’s razors >>> womens razors. Cheaper, closer shave and cleaner.

6. Pee after sex. It’ll help prevent any UTIs. Don’t hold it in. UPDATE: I’ve changed it now, but this used to say pee to stop STIs, that is INCORRECT, and the only thing to stop STIs is a condom. Thank you to @infinitelaughing for correcting me!

7. Carry your own condoms. You’re a strong independent hoe and carry your Trojans proud.

8. If you’re braking out buy tea tree oil.

9. KAT VON D LIQUID LIPSTICKS ARE BLOWJOB PROOF. IT WILL NOT COME OFF. PLUS IT’S MATTE.

10. Matte makeup (foundation, lipstick, eyeliner) all lasts better against sheets for sex.

11. Want longer nails to scratch with? GARLIC ON NAIL BEDS. COCONUT OIL ON CUTICLES. GROW BITCHES GROW.

12. To make eyebrows fuller put on coconut oil before bed.

13. Add ½ cup of apple cider vinegar to your bath. It’ll reset the balance of your coochie’s PH. You’ll feel and smell r8 8/8

14. Run a hot bath. Favourite bubble bath. Soak. EXFOLIATE. When you get out put coconut oil all over your body.

15. Honey + white sugar - lip scrub
Coconut oil + brown sugar - body exfoliator

16. Dry feet are nasty af. Soak feet in hot water for 10 minutes before using a pumice stone to get rid of dead skin.

17. For extra soft feet, do above and put on heavy duty lotion, socks and sleep.

18. To hide a hickey. Green concealer all over, foundation and powder. GONE.

19. To remove blackheads use charcoal based soap. And use natural beaded exfoliants

20. If you want your coochie to be BABY SOFT get yoni oil. Shit is magical.

21. If your hair is feeling lifeless massage coconut oil in every night + put in a bun. Wash out in the morning.

22. Put your undies in three categories. 1. I’m getting fucked tonight 2. I could be spontaneously fucked. 3. Getting none today

23. On the days leading up to and after your period use a pad on your fav undies to stop staining.

24. Eyebrows can be on fleek fucking in a forest. Get Anastasia dipbrow pomade. Lifesaver.

25. 6-10 green tea bags in a bath will help energise skin and refresh. Skin will glow and be soft.

26. If you’re about to get dicked down DON’T wear cotton undies. It will trap lint in the crevice of your thighs.

27. Chlorasceptic throat numbing medication helps with deep throating.

28. DRINK WATER. cliché af but keep coochie smelling good and brightens skin.

29. Lemon juice and baking soda will remove any cum stains from clothes. I got you 😏

30. It’s your body. Don’t fucking listen to anyone

31. Shave your coochie under water

32. Put baby oil in your bath - baby soft duck yeah

33. Have a special coochie cleaning day. You’ll not regret it

“Tom and the Ginger” - Digital Oil Painting

“Have you got a kiss for me, my darling?”

Tom was being his sweet self, as usual, but the kitten had other ideas.

If you enjoy my art, please consider subscribing to my Patreon! I am saving to buy a wheelchair lift.

Chocolate mug cake!!

Some people wanted to know so here it is!!

Ingredients:
4 tbsp flour
4 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp baking cocoa (unsweetened)
1 egg
3 tbsp milk
3 tbsp melted butter
Dash of vanilla

Mix the dry ingredients in a large mug and then add the wet ingredients one by one, mixing after each addition. U can also use oil instead of butter but that usually doesn’t taste as good. You can add chocolate chips or m&ms if you want but that usually makes it too sweet for me, it’s up to u tho. Also, depending on the size of your mug, the cake may rise above the edge while it’s cooking but that’s normal and it’ll shrink once it cools down. I’ve made this so many times and it’s delicious 💯 Edit because I’m an idiot and I forgot to add the microwave time: microwave for about 3 minutes

Ooh, I’m lovin’ all this rain (which isn’t very often in the city of Angels). It’s just an excuse to eat more warming foods. So today we’re having a vegan version of Hoppin’ John. I found this recipe in @EatingWell’s magazine last month. But instead of cooking with oil (because I don’t) I used vegetable broth, and I added more chopped collard greens and ½ cup more water. It turned out delicious. (Even my meat-eating roommate approved). Recipe on tumblr. Link in bio. And big-ups to @swell.ca for helping me decide which photo to post! If you’re not familiar with @swell.ca it’s a fun app that helps you with daily decisions from what dish to eat to what shirt to wear. Just post up a couple of items your undecided on and let your friends and the Swell community help you decide! So much fun.

Vegan Oil-free Hoppin’ John

 

¼ - ½ cup vegetable broth (for cooking)

2 medium orange bell peppers, chopped

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 tsp. ground cumin

1 tsp. smoked paprika

1 tsp. cayenne pepper

1 tsp. salt

4 collard green leaves, stemmed and chopped

1 14 oz. can chopped tomatoes

2 cans unsalted black-eyed peas

1 ½ cups water

Heat a large pot for a minute then add vegetable broth (broth should sizzle). Add bell peppers and garlic and cook for about 6 minutes. If pot begins to look and sound dry add a bit more broth but just enough to keep the vegetables from sticking to the pot. Add in spices and give the veggies a quick stir then add collard greens and cook until they soften (about 2 minutes). Next, add black-eyed peas, tomatoes and water. Bring to a boil, and then reduce heat and simmer covered for 15 minutes.

Witchy Tip

If you are unable to burn incense defuse essential oils instead. Although they can be more pricey, diffusing essential oils not only works exactly like incense but can also benefit your health as well!   

artists are the most dangerous people to be around.
they convince you that you’re beautiful, that every flaw is simply an artistic choice. your abuse equates to using red instead of blue, your eating disorder is oil instead of watercolors. you become a sculpture, a painting, a set of photos; they find a way to dehumanize you while putting you on the highest pedestal they can, and damn, does it feel good.
you can walk around with them and feel like a monet, a van gogh, a dali, an abstract collection of traits that somehow melt into one amazing picture. you do not see the individual pieces, but the product. and sometimes those are two very different things.
eventually, you leave them, and your skin is no longer fine marble, but just skin. and after feeling like a prized possession, a priceless beauty, the shock comes and you realize you are not. you are a person. your flaws are flaws, your skin is skin, your hair is hair. you are not art, you are a human being. the metaphors they attached to you did not change that fact.
you are you. you are broken, and damaged, and falling apart. you are not something that can be preserved and kept forever and that is the beauty of humanity. it can’t be held.

“In Another Universe” - Digital Oil Painting

In another universe, where the tattoo on Billie’s finger says 10" instead of FOX. Hehe! (To be clear, I have nothing against Georgia or Lawrence, I think they’re grand, I just like thinking about David and Billie in a ‘what if’ sort of way.)

This is NOT a Photoshop filter, every stroke is painted by me.

Why the hell… Is this on my dash? Pipelines are safer, huh? *snip*

According to the U.S. Department of Transportation’s Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration, which oversees the industry, there have been nearly 5,600 pipeline incidents over the last 20 years that have been deemed “significant". By the definition adopted by the DOT, a “significant incident” means the leak resulted in either a fatality or injury requiring in-patient hospitalization, had an impact of $50,000 or more in total costs (measured in 1984 dollars), resulted in the release of highly volatile liquids of five barrels or more (or other liquid releases of 50 barrels or more), or liquid releases resulting in an unintentional fire or explosion.

The numbers for truck/train are even worse. So like, I get that it’s not something that’s going to happen overnight, but how about instead of facilitating oil delivery, we start moving away from oil altogether? We have electric cars. We have a bunch of options for green energy production. Let’s do some of that. And in the meanwhile please feel free to shove your propaganda straight up your ass.

anonymous asked:

Now I'm thinking apothecary AU? Lance runs a herbal remedy shop that's a bit kooky. Shiro is a veteran returned from war after losing an arm in a bombing, who's nightmares have gotten so bad a friend recommends the little herbal shop. Shiro enters one day to find Lance, with a million questions on his tongue but he doesn't pry once into Shiro's nightmares. Instead, he gives oils and smudge sticks to calm him, lavender scented candles that chase away midnight anxiety. Shiro ends up returning a lo

YES??? ??????? ???
In fact, Shiro returns so often Lance is like “here haha, this is supply for a whole month so you won’t have to come by every other day” (it’s not that he doesn’t want to see Shiro, he just feels bad because Shiro doesn’t live super close to the store)

So Shiro is like “ha ha… yeah… thanks” and he comes back anyway 3 days later all “oops I lost the candles pls give me more”

Lance: “HOw did you lose 8 candles????”

Shiro: *smiling like Cheshire cat but plays innocent* “I donnu they’re just gone.”

Pinning Shiro is a good Shiro.

Even more ho tips

Read more of my Ho tips here.

If you’re meeting him for dinner, he’s made a reservation and you have his name call the restaurant to ‘check it, cause I’m so forgetful and I didn’t want him to realise what a scatter brain I am’

Same with hotels. Don’t go getting your time wasted.

Use latex free condoms. I find them much gentler on my coochie. Avoid Durex Extra Safe like the plague.

Get exfoliating gloves. Use them before and after shaving on all areas you shave. No more ingrown hairs. If you do get, apply tea tree oil.

Shave your legs and underarms with coconut oil instead of shaving cream. Feels like heaven. Don’t use it on your cooch.

Always keep medication for thrush, cystitis and BV in your medicine cabinet. You have got to look after that little rainbow pot.

Wash your face with oil. No really. Goodbye, waterproof mascara, matte lipstick… Be gone!

When a pot sends a picture for the first time, be nice. I know, he looks like his face melted. Compliment his friendly smile, his inviting eyes…. Be creative.

If you’re a cam girl or someone who plays with toys often, use sterilising tablets (the ones parents use on baby bottles) to clean your toys. Rinse properly, let them air dry, and go fuck yourself. Ha!

…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Isaiah 61:3
The whole verse talks about restoration, therefore our focus immediately is on the word “BEAUTY.” But we often forget that there is a process involved to attain that beauty. It is called refining. If everything around you seems like ashes, you are in a good place, just hang in there. You need never to waver in your faith. You are never at the mercy of chance, and with God nothing is fully lost. God’s story never ends with “ashes.” And when you emerge from it, you will be like pure gold, reflecting the very beauty of God.

Hoe Tips

Okay so these are tips that can make a hoes life so much easier. Enjoy 💕💕
1. Throw away any shaving cream use coconut butter or oil to shave, than apply oil after you dry off. BAM. NO STUBBLE. NO BURN. IT’S THE SHIT.
2. Don’t use shaving cream or coconut butter for your coochie. Use Johnson’s baby oil instead. You’ll have no razor burn.
3. There isn’t anything wrong with your natural coochie smell, but if you want to taste sweet eat cranberries or pineapple. SHIT WORKS.
4. Stretch marks on inner thighs? Use Vaseline and coconut oil over night EVERY NIGHT to get rid of them.
5. Men’s razors >>> womens razors. Cheaper, closer shave and cleaner.
6. Pee after sex. It’ll help prevent any UTIs. Don’t hold it in. UPDATE: I’ve changed it now, but this used to say pee to stop STIs, that is INCORRECT, and the only thing to stop STIs is a condom. Thank you to @infinitelaughing for correcting me!
7. Carry your own condoms. You’re a strong independent hoe and carry your Trojans proud.
8. If you’re braking out buy tea tree oil.
9. KAT VON D LIQUID LIPSTICKS ARE BLOWJOB PROOF. IT WILL NOT COME OFF. PLUS IT’S MATTE.
10. Matte makeup (foundation, lipstick, eyeliner) all lasts better against sheets for sex.
11. Want longer nails to scratch with? GARLIC ON NAIL BEDS. COCONUT OIL ON CUTICLES. GROW BITCHES GROW.
12. To make eyebrows fuller put on coconut oil before bed.
13. Add ½ cup of apple cider vinegar to your bath. It’ll reset the balance of your coochie’s PH. You’ll feel and smell r8 8/8
14. Run a hot bath. Favourite bubble bath. Soak. EXFOLIATE. When you get out put coconut oil all over your body.
15. Honey + white sugar - lip scrub 
Coconut oil + brown sugar - body exfoliator
16. Dry feet are nasty af. Soak feet in hot water for 10 minutes before using a pumice stone to get rid of dead skin.
17. For extra soft feet, do above and put on heavy duty lotion, socks and sleep.
18. To hide a hickey. Green concealer all over, foundation and powder. GONE.
19. To remove blackheads use charcoal based soap. And use natural beaded exfoliants
20. If you want your coochie to be BABY SOFT get yoni oil. Shit is magical.
21. If your hair is feeling lifeless massage coconut oil in every night + put in a bun. Wash out in the morning.
22. Put your undies in three categories. 1. I’m getting fucked tonight 2. I could be spontaneously fucked. 3. Getting none today
23. On the days leading up to and after your period use a pad on your fav undies to stop staining.
24. Eyebrows can be on fleek fucking in a forest. Get Anastasia dipbrow pomade. Lifesaver.
25. 6-10 green tea bags in a bath will help energise skin and refresh. Skin will glow and be soft.
26. If you’re about to get dicked down DON’T wear cotton undies. It will trap lint in the crevice of your thighs.
27. Chlorasceptic throat numbing medication helps with deep throating.
28. DRINK WATER. cliché af but keep coochie smelling good and brightens skin.
29. Lemon juice and baking soda will remove any cum stains from clothes. I got you 😏
30. It’s your body. Don’t fucking listen to anyone
31. Shave your coochie under water
32. Put baby oil in your bath - baby soft duck yeah
33. Have a special coochie cleaning day. You’ll not regret it

how to safely shave your hoo hoo

go to target. or another store like that. I just know that target has a 10 pack of BIC razors for like $3.
buy some baby oil. preferably with aloe.
also. buy some unscented deodorant.

get in the bath. soak up. pamper yourself with a sugar scrub and such.

use the baby oil instead of shaving cream. lather up. use the disposable razor (because it’s always fresh and sharp). shave with the grain. so, downwards, and away from yourself.

you will get all oily, so you’ll want to wash off.

when you’re all done, use the deodorant all over the area you shaved. and bam. you’re smooth and shaved and not cut or bumpy.