instead of just talking about it with my gf

anonymous asked:

I have a huge crush on this girl who I talk to everyday on Tumblr. She lives in Sweden and I live in America. I knew that I would catch feelings for as soon as I met her but I'm too scared to tell her about it. She's bi and had just broken up with her gf so I don't think she even likes me that way. I wish that there could be something more between us but I don't want to ruin this magical friendship that I have with her. I would send her cute and flirty anons to express my feelings instead.

I think you should make a move tbh

the other day i was talking to a dog walking client and we started talking about how i’m planning on going to one of my friend’s weddings. i both left out that she is marrying her girlfriend and that i’m going with my girlfriend. instead i said i was going with my friend. 

i was nervous. naturally. she’s a really sweet lady but the anxiety is always there when trying to decide who to come out to. idk i guess it was just tiring. i’m tired of constantly having to ~come out~ to every new person i meet. and with my new job i’m constantly meeting new people/clients. there are some clients i have casually mentioned my gf to and others i have avoided it. i don’t know why i’m more comfortable with some than others but??? 

i guess it just dawned on me that i’m going to be doing this the rest of my life probably. 

Okay so many nice things happened today, but my brain keeps trying to bold, italicize, highlight, and underline one of the few annoying things. Noooo. I’m not even going to finish the post I’d started bc it’s honestly something I’ve vented about so many times and whatever goofy people will be goofy. I can’t change that.

Instead, let’s talk about some of the good things:

+Made my own sauce the other day…some sort of hoisen/ponzu hybrid, then I used it to marinate, bread (w gf flour obvi), and lightly fry some tofu. Today, I stuffed a ton of it in between rice bread and it was amazing.

+made a couple of new Japanese acquaintances today who were also really fun and cool. They helped me practice what I’ve been learning, pick up and clarify a few ideas, and just work on general basic conversation. I helped one of them with some of her English homework, too, so it made the exchange feel less one sided, which is far more comfortable. I feel more and more free to ask my questions and grow rather than keeping them to myself out of fear of bothering ppl. Now, I can kind of distribute my questions around and hopefully not annoy anyone too much ha. I think I’m just becoming more comfortable with putting myself out there, too, which is kinda essential

+ speaking of vulnerability, my bf (ha feels weird to say) is super emotionally intelligent. It’s really admirable how open and effusive he allows himself to be, and his intuition is sometimes almost eerily on point. I think romantic/dating situations have always exponentiated my anxiety , but so far, that hasn’t been the case and I occasionally find myself actually feeling less anxious. In attempt to even broach reciprocity (like a nod in that direction), I find myself saying things that would normally make me feel deeply embarrassed. I still do experience embarrassment/shyness around it all, but I think I’m at least growing in the right direction–I push past it (to an extent).

+people have been really nice to me lately…family, friends, strangers. I’ve been having these great exchanges just all over the place

+got in a workout that left me feeling energized

+tons of other things but I feel on the verge of a good night’s sleep, so we can count that as a good thing too. Yaaay sleep

1nyazone  asked:

has Nico even tried talking to Nozomom? Instead of Papachika?

Nico: “hey Nozomi…could you like maybe tell your gf to chill about me and Maki?”

Nozomi: “don’t take away her joy nicocchi”

Nico: “pls man i can’t take this any longer…i’d do anything for you to tell Eli to stop -”

Eli: “WHAT DID I JUST HEAR you would do anything for Nozomi?? trying to steal my wife now too??”

What I learned after flying to a tumblr nigga

I usually don’t write about things like this but I can’t get this situation off my mind so I thought I’d share it with people who might understand. Earlier this summer I connected with this lightskin devil on here…. I was smitten off rip, all I saw was his teeny tiny profile pic and was done. We talked everyday… We FaceTimed everyday… It was lit, probably the best display of a long distance anything I’ve personally ever seen or dealt with. Our times zones were crazy but it worked cause I was an insomniac and he lived on the west coast. The entire time we are talking about somebody visiting somebody. Now I stay in Atlanta… And other than the song “Welcome to Atlanta” (where the playas play and they party everyday) a completely accurate description of The ATL btw, I didn’t see this as a place to visit. He lived in Inglewood, CA but California is better than Atlanta (in my humble southern opinion) any day. So I booked my damn flight… MISTAKE NUMBER 1! Technically that was mistake two but we can switch it up… Before I even had my ticket we had already spoken about how much we were going to fuck… AND BOY OH MAN, did we FUCK! Lol “We decided” to not use a condom (MISTAKE 2) … I use parentheses because if it were actually up to me they would’ve been used. 

So I get there….. 4 days of just YAS GAWD, we smoked, we ate, and we fucked #InThatOrder . Everything was chill, mellow, good. I was good he was good. He took me to Laguna Beach, and if you know me I FUCKING LOVE Laguna Beach & The Hills, I had fun, it was honestly lit. 

My four days was over… I was back home. And…. 

We weren’t talking as often but he had a job so did I, life is life. 2 days after I see a female on his SC… he “claimed” they weren’t talking before I got there but on the 3rd day homeboy changed his relationship status on FB… (sus or naw?) I’m no hateful bitch so I kept it moving, he was ALL THE WAY OVER THERE, couldn’t do nothing bout it except be happy for him, and I still am (if they’re still together)

 Immediately after I get back, a bitch got her period so I was hype! Like thank you Jesus, didn’t fly to a nigga and slip the fuck up. I told him and we air hi-fived, it was was chill. Now if you’re a female you know that are periods don’t always mean we aren’t pregnant… So maybe a week later, I felt super lightheaded, bloated, just utterly gross. (I want yall to keep in mind I’ve been preggo before) So I tell him immediately (this was a Monday), I already had a doctors appointment anyway so it was okay. I could tell he was kinda stressed about it but I wasn’t trying to bother him, because the last time I went through this I was immediately blocked, so I tried to only speak to him if it was necessary. (Tuesday) I’m at my doctor they drew my blood, took pee, the works.. But it was raining that day, and there entire system was down. That same day I was heading to Orlando (a few days after the shooting). He was actually the first person I called when the shooting was happening because I was so distraught trying to make sure none of my friends were at the club or died. 

So I’m in orlando, I had about 4 funerals to go to, still feeling like shit health-wise, and I can tell he’s getting anxious, the spirit of his tone was all kinds of fucked up. At first he told me to go to the ER, then he wanted me to just take a test… and explaining to him that: 

1.) My doctors results only take a few days it will be okay

2.) A test will not be accurate either way 

3.) It was too soon to tell no matter what I did

Finally, I did what he wanted-ish I got a test & it was NEGATIVE! So, I thought he’d chill.  WRONG!

He was not having that. He went off, basically telling me fuck you bye. So before I could even tell him the results of the blood test, he was already out of line. I was done. I don’t care how stressed, scared, or anxious you talk slick out the mouth, I will cut you the fuck off. So after that he was BLOCKEDT

(I will show y’all the receipts btw). 

Friday, I get my blood work, once again negative… So I was like cool I’m not worried no more, 2 weeks go by, back home in Atlanta, I get my period again, now again, most females know period twice in a month is a bad fucking sign so I was freaking out at this point. I didn’t stress out though cause only time could tell. I get off my second period of the month, and a few days later my black ass faints in the shower. I didn’t know what to think, even my mother thought i was pregnant at this point because bitches don’t just faint out of nowhere. My mom bought me another pregnancy test and that came back negative too. So, I assume I am dying, turns out it was just my diet I was on that caused every symptom including the double TOMs. Changed it up and I was fine… I’m telling yall this story because BEWARE OF THE TUBMLR NIGGA. I could’ve had that scare with a real nigga ya feel me? Who would have held me down but instead I got stuck with another fuckboy. 

Oh the best part, his current GF has a baby by someone else and I caught him posting the cutest little post about how niggas are deadbeat dads and it amazed me how well he could talk about himself like that. He’s a hypocrite, and this was the greatest life lesson I could’ve learned. No matter what they do or say or post their actions determine who they really are. Don’t flex for the internet, and get exposed.