Can I share with you my worldview, Steven? All of humankind has one thing in common - chicken parm. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a nice chicken parm.
ask-bendy-today is a blog built on the premise of the modern-day antics and silliness of Bendy as he plays out his acting career at Sillyvision studios, using such inspirations as the 30 Rock television series and the Business cat comics to guide the way in which Bendy and I answer questions.
Yet as I continue to write more story into this universe, the more I feel I should be answering some questions with a certain amount of sincerity and foreboding to “add meat” onto the dish of potatoes I’ve molded this blog from. This universe most definitely has the capacity to tell a solid story, alongside the usual wackiness that I bring to this blog. So that brings me to my next question…
Is that something you guys would want? LIKE THIS POSTif so.
“No matter how many deaths that I die I will never forget. No matter how many lives that I live, I will never regret. There is a fire inside of this heart, and a riot about to explode into flames.” - Jared Leto, 30 Seconds To Mars.
Jerk- Store: “In my opinion Tina Fey completely ruined SNL. The only reason she’s celebrated is because she’s a woman and an outspoken liberal. She has not a single funny bone in her body.”
Tina Fey: “Dear jerk-store, Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been over-celebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my local news about a “missing girl,” and they must have dedicated seven or eight minutes to “where she was last seen” and “how she might have been abducted by a close family friend,” and I thought, “What is this, the News for Chicks?” Then there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying to some country because she’s secretary of state. Why do we keep talking about these dumdums? We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be? When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but I persevered because—like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle—it was a labor of love. I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you, jerk-store, so I’ll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will. Sincerely, Tina Fey P.S. You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.”
I want someone who will be monogamous and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals, but knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching “Lost.” And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame, and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed - like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms, like a damn Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me. Even when I’m old. And that’s what I want.