inspirational

The only thing you need in life is the outlook that everything is going to be perfect. The universe is on your side, make sure that side is a positive one. You can only do what your mind believes, and when your mind believes in your abilities, what else can you do but succeed? You can manifest all you wish, and you can create anything. Let the world be your oyster, it is time for you to be happy.
— 

It is time for happiness by Amy Kennedy

26/05/17

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Happy 51st birthday to the most influential woman I’ve ever known. Helena has been a role model for me for many years now, she’s an amazing person inside and out. If it wasn’t for her, I’d have never met my girlfriend of nearly four years @murderous-absolution ! She brought us together through solely being a fan of hers. I’ve watched her movies countless times and I always remember why I first fell in love with her. What a woman. Happy birthday HBC, hope you have a cracking day! ❤️

Closure

Like always you were late
It had been 2 years i had seen your face.
I wondered if you still had that scar on your left cheek,or did it fade…
I wondered if you still obsessed over the way you tied your shoe lace.

I still remember the horror of walking on you and her, going second base. 
I wondered why did you’ll decide to choose the floor over the mattress..
Like that’s what i had to focus on..
Instead of your hands inside her dress.

That was the last time i said stepping back… you will never see me again. 
I left the key on the counter, 
You followed me to the hallway.. and pinned me to the wall
Asking for a chance to explain.
A moment of weakness you called it, that’s all.
I wondered what kind of strength you need to not let your pants fall

You asked me why was i here,
In this pouring rain.
Wasn’t i supposed to be at work?
Werent we suppose to meet at eight?

To suprise you i replied
To make up for yesterday.. 
To get suprised…i yelled..
Get out of my way..
It doesnt matter anyway.

We stared at each other in disbelief
For no words would ever be enough to make me stay.. 
No words would ever be enough to make it all okay.
Somehow i knew , it was the end of us.. that day.
I could see her in the background, thats when you let go of my hand.. and stepped aside.
I couldnt help but laugh, when she asked me who the hell i am.

My eyes shifted on you, 
The same question in my mind
I dont know about her.. 
But in your hesitation,
I had found my answer
I realized it was over this time. 
You had crossed the line

What the hell was she still here for?
I was so angry…i could start a war
Right then she called out my name. 
So she knew about me.. 
Wow i said, i was shocked. 
All i did was stare at you
You noticed the crumpled letter in my hand. 
You noticed the cake and the shoes you wanted so bad.
You asked me what’s that?

Its a fucking letter
That tells you how much i love you
It’s everything that you’ll never understand. 
Its everything you lost when you chose to let go of my hand.

Unable to hold back the tears, i walked away
Too scared to look back
I cried the whole way home
Drenched in the rain
And that was the last memory of us i had.

The present hit me like a lightning 
When I seen you walk towards me
You had that look on your face
The one you make when your found guilty
Surprisingly you wore the same shoes i gave
And my favourite shirt, i was amazed

You said hello,
Probably waiting for me to respond. 
And when the silence got awkward.. 
You asked “what now?”
Still caught in the past,
I whispered. ..
“Nothing..a moment of weakness. .thats all”.

We chose to grab some coffee instead of the so called lunch we planned to have
i think we both knew, we couldnt pretend for long, to not notice the facts.
And when you said lets order the usual
I said my tastes have changed
since when, you asked
Since the world ran out of gentlemen, i laughed 
You rolled your eyes.. .. 
“Please dont start with your rhymes again”..
I smiled..
“Im sorry, does it still offend? ”
Your voice had a touch of irritation..while you said my name with your teeth clenched 
I chose to let it go, afterall there is nothing better then sweet revenge.

So then we drifted through topics and we had quite a talk about the weather and work and friends…
About happy times together..
We left out the bad parts…
Probably that made it seem all better.

We walked through the rain and sat on the swing
The one where you can sit together …thts when you started to sing.
Imagining yourself with a guitar i think
You looked at me, and then you winked.
I looked away, and thats when you asked me if i had also changed my taste in music.
I laughed and sang along. Somehow we shook our heads in sync.

We laughed so hard, thinking about this one time we lost our way back home.
And how we thought, the village was full of ghosts. 
And you asked me if i remembered easter or the first time i met your mother.
I asked if you still steal your fathers liquor..
And how is your sister?

You were amazed to know the details i remembered
Its hard to forget the past i said..
Because it matters…you replied and touched my hand which took me by surprise
“Now you have her”, my words seemed rude, and you looked at me, into my eyes.
Like you were searching for an answer..

You instantly took your hand away, from mine
And asked me about this “new guy”
And just when i started to speak,
You told me you miss me. 
That you missed us, that maybe we could try to make it alright.

I said i dont want to repeat my mistakes
Annoyed you asked me, then what am i doing here, in this pouring rain?
I said to make you realize 
That the reason i dint say hello earlier 
Was because i wanted to say goodbye.

You were hurt by the words,
But that dint explain why you smirked
I looked at you puzzled
And you asked me,
“Do you really think this new guy is the one?”..
I said it doesnt matter, if he is or not..
You arent. We are done ..

You probably ran out of words to say..
So you said you are sorry for everything..
And i said its okay. 
You confirmed if we still could be friends 
I smiled and said, yea its not “the end”.
And we walked our separate ways..
You said goodbye,
And i said i hope i dont see you again. 
And once again, i was drenched in the rain..
This time i wasnt scared but i chose not to look back..
That this is the last memory of us i wanted to have.

TheMonicaShastriBlog, Closure
It’s sad you haven’t aged a day
And no good news ‘til end of May
Though even then will you prove wrong
You’ve no idea my strength, how strong
—  Stephenstilwell “Aged a Day”