inspectators

Bee in Your Bonnet

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Rating: G, Word Count: 647
Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff without Plot, POV Stiles

Read on AO3

For @sterekwriters​ Summer Bingo prompt: Gardening

Stiles know exactly three things about gardening: it involves plants; he sucks at it; Derek looks hot while doing it. Which is why he’s completely mystified Derek keeps taking him to the garden centre and not Lydia or Isaac, who both actually know stuff about how to grow plants. The only thing Stiles contributes to these shopping trips is picking out the newest member of their garden gnome family. He mostly just trails after Derek, pushing their cart.

Not that Stiles minds. He loves watching Derek cradle little plants in his strong hands, inspecting their petals and leaves and the dirt they’re growing in. He thinks it’s hilarious when Derek tests the soil, sniffing all the dirt and always getting some stuck on his nose. The best part though, is that he always manages to get a rise out of Derek with one simple question.

They’re standing in the middle of the green house. Derek is gently caressing the petals of a pink flower Stiles doesn’t know the name of.

‘You know what I don’t get?’ Stiles begins.

‘What?’

‘Why we don’t just tile the whole garden over? Or just have grass everywhere?’ Stiles finishes. He sets his jaw so he won’t accidentally laugh when…

Derek whirls toward him, eyes wide, cradling the pink flower like he’s protecting it from Stiles’ evil words.

‘We are not tiling over our garden,’ Derek snaps.

A lady one aisle over stops and gasps, like she agrees with Derek and can’t believe Stiles dared to say such a sacrilegious thing in the middle of a green house.

‘But it would be so much easier,’ Stiles whines.

‘First of all, no it would not; grass and tiles have to be maintained just as much as flowers and shrubs do. Second, if we tiled it over there would be more chance of flooding since it’ll take longer for the water to sink into the soil—‘

‘So we use grass.’

Third, the bees need our help. The bee population is rapidly declining and they need flowers to pollinate and make their honey, so they can make more baby bees.’

‘Bees sting,’ Stiles pouts. It’s getting harder not to laugh. Derek is such a nerd.

‘You’re not allergic, so deal with it. Finally, I like gardening. I like coming here and picking out new plants and decorations. I like watching our garden go from empty to colourful and alive. I like picking flowers I helped grow and make them into little bouquets for our table.’

Stiles is leaning on the shopping cart, elbows on the handlebar, chin in his hands. He loves this part of Derek’s speech of why he wants a garden the best; Derek gets so excited and riled up that he gets romantic.

‘I like taking breaks and drinking iced tea or lemonade you made with you. I like it when you make fun of my hat.’

Stiles can no longer suppress his laughter at that. Derek’s gardening hat is ridiculous. It looks like something an eighty year-old lady from the English countryside would wear. It’s made of straw, and the brim is almost two hand widths wide.

‘And I love it when I’m done and we sit on the porch or on the grass and you make me tell you what every plant is and why I put the plants in the place I put them.’ Derek sighs and rubs a hand over his face. ‘And I just realized you asked that question just to get a rise out of me.’

‘Yep,’ Stiles says, popping the “p”. He leans in to press a quick kiss at the corner of Derek’s mouth. When he pulls back Derek is shaking his head and the tips of his ears are red.

‘I’m making you carry the bags of soil,’ Derek huffs, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips.

Stiles grins. Totally worth it.

Earlier this week, I watched YG walk into the room where we were scheduled to meet. He began inspecting the refreshments that had been laid out, settling on a package of fruit snacks and looking over the selection of sodas before asking for a bottle of water. He walks with a casual, leonine grace; as much as I’ve ever seen anyone saunter, I would say YG saunters, his demeanor nonchalant but fully present. He was wearing a red dad hat that read “4Hunnid,” a plain white T-shirt, plaid cargo shorts, and sneakers without socks, by all appearances just another guy who had just been chilling at the coffee shop around the corner. Two and a half years ago, when the Compton rapper was promoting his first album, My Krazy Life, he carried himself with a cocky lassitude that immediately marked him as a popular musician on the rise. Now, YG seems more self-possessed: You can tell he’s charismatic and important without having any clue as to what it is that makes him successful. He might be an entrepreneur or an actor or perhaps the best gangster rapper LA has produced in a generation, which he is. (Read the full story on Noisey)

anonymous asked:

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ZELDA THING

Pffffhahahahah, this made me burst out laughing. You’re lucky I haven’t left for my car inspection thing yet, so I can regale you with the tale of Joe_Cracker! There’s actually a page that goes very in-depth with this, but I can give you the quick version and link it afterward for you if you’re interested.

So once upon a time, there was an internet fella named Joe_Cracker, and one day he waltzes into the IGN forums with a thread called “The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage”, declaring his intentions to make and direct a full-licensed, fully-animated and fully-voiced Zelda movie, based on the old cartoon. He was scarce on details at the time, but amidst other things, Whoopi Goldberg was going to be Impa, Bruce Willis was going to be Link’s father, and Brittney Spears was going to be Nayru (yes, the goddess).

This was met with about as much skepticism as you might expect, and folks were split between trying to talk him down gently, trying to talk him down bluntly, or somewhere between joking and genuine curiosity about what his plans were. Most of this stuff fell into the usual kind of business you might expect; Joe planned to get Nintendo’s attention via a petition (of course), the various “big announcements” he made about the film generally were met with silence (his website suddenly getting a forum, for instance), so on and so forth.

At one point, he ended up entering a rather fragile partnership with one of the threadgoers named THESPOTLIGHT, who was brought on to help him write the dungeon sequences in the script. This fell apart almost immediately, meaning the script now contains three bizarre instances of “(Co-screenwriter writes the dungeon sequence here)… (Co-screenwriter can now take a coffee break)”.

Eventually, after a period of nothing going on and Cracker eventually working on other projects to try and raise money for the Zelda stuff, as well as a brief bit of “drama” (though it’s so minor it could hardly be called that) involving another fanfilm, a handful of threadgoers finally decide to pose as “John Grusd” from DiC Entertainment (said name actually shows up in the credits of a bunch of DiC shows!) and end up getting their hands on the script. There was only one thing they could do now: actually animate some of it.

So that’s where those three videos come from. The first one was basically just a cheap test to show Joe and say “yeah we’re really doing it we’re legit”, while the other two were much more focused on poking fun at the script and the debacle that led up to it. Nowadays, apparently Joe’s made a video looking back on the whole thing and he realizes how silly it all was, which makes for a much more pleasant ending than some other internet stories.

The script itself was also leaked to everyone much later on, and I just so happen to have it backed up on my Dropbox, Mediafire and both my desktop and laptop, eheh. I’ve wanted to do a dramatic reading of it for a long time now, but I don’t know if anyone would watch/listen. It’s really something that deserves visuals, and not just audio.

Here’s the more detailed story, if you’re interested!

Good morning all!

I’m sitting in the Kia dealership getting an oil change and state inspection.

The Dads still love us, and they’re telling us over and over EXPLICITLY it’s all disinformation.

That garbage article was clickbait toxic waste, and Mark is being a huge sarcastic troll in his tweets and telling us it’s all crap with a straight face.

All will be well, my loves. Come back off the ledge, it’s going to be all right.

💙💚💛💜

I wish when you clicked inspect on someone, there was a little picture of their horses on the tabs with you click ‘Horses’ I’d love to see a cute little headshot next to the name, plus you’d know which colour they had gotten of a certain breed and what colour their starter was.

BONUS

Transcript:

Raven: Legion Basecamp #8739865 A thin fog of fel looms overhead. Looking up, demons can be seen flying around pretty high up! Stay near the walls!

Raven: Ham roll 10

Ham rolls 5 (1-10)

Alden Croft runs his hand along the wall, following the group.

Raven: Ham is spotted by a single guard RIGHT around the corner. “Hur..Wha?” He blinks, dropping his beer and scrambles for his sword. “Hey! Guys!”

Raven: What did Raven say in the office? Roll for attack..KILL IT

Keates rolls 2 (1-10)

Adam Hammond: Ham peeks around the corner and begins to count the guards, showing the number to the group with his fingers, and – SHIT spotted!

Casial rolls 2 (1-10)

Eadric Veursun: Eadric begins rummaging through his pack. “Dammit, didn’t expect demons with a glorified privateer company..” Potions and vials are tossed about, inspected closely before being shoved back down. Suddenly guard.

Ham rolls 2 (1-10)

Padira Xinshi: Padira does a swift action roll over to the alley and brings up a quick snapshot.

Eadric rolls 2 (1-10)

Padira rolls 1 (1-10)

Aridna rolls 1 (1-10)

Padira kneels down.

Croft rolls 3 (1-10)

Aridna Dawson: Aridna does nothing. She’s in the back after all.

Raven: We can’t kill ONE drinking guard??

Guild: Padira Xinshi: RETREAAAAAAAT

Raven rolls 1 (1-10)

anonymous asked:

🚂(AU where my muse is a stowaway on your muse's train)//randomeevee

It takes a long, long time for a train to stop. The speed has to be constantly monitored during this phase, to ensure that it stops right where it is supposed to. Justin’s hand was clamped so hard on the controls for the airbrakes that it was going numb. The nervous engineer finally relaxed and let go.

The train had made it safely to the freight station. He exited the locomotive and began to inspect each car for potential problems. He heard a noise in one of the cars and decided to investigate.

“H-hey, if anyone’s in here.. Might as well get off the train now. Stay on, and you’ll end up at a top secret TF Industries military base.” Oh, wait. It’s supposed to be secret.

“Uh.. I m-mean.. You’ll be smack dab in the middle of nowhere.

My car got inspected today and failed. It’s going to cost over $800 to fix 😭

My car is almost 10 years old, I am going to make it a goal to buy a new car before I turn 30 next year.

A member of the force protection team from Coast Guard MSST 91107, fills out a USCG Level II Radiation Detection Boarding/Inspection Sheet related to the discovery of a simulated radiological isotope aboard the USS Tarawa, an inactive amphibious assault ship, located in Pearl Harbor at the Naval Sea Systems Command, Jan. 14, 2016. Coast Guard FP teams are trained to go aboard vessels, assess and neutralize threats in a maritime nexus and in this case discovered a possible simulated radiological threat exceeding 4500 u rem threshold requiring the team to initiate procedures to stop, move away, alert and close off the area before calling on their Radiological Level II trained personnel and then the Army CST who have even more capability. 

(U.S. Coast Guard photos by Chief Petty Officer Sara Mooers/Released)

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Top photo - 1926  Charlie Chaplin  during production of “The Circus”.  Middle and bottom photo 1918 set of “Shoulder Arms”.

The man to his right,  Upton Sinclair (1878-1968), an author and Pulitzer Prize winner but most famous for his 1906 book“The Jungle”. 

“The Jungle” exposed the U.S. Meat Packing Industry, shocking in it’s portrayal of the unsanitary conditions and how unsafe it was for public health. This ultimately led to stricter inspections in the form of the “Pure Food and Drug Act” & “Meat Inspection Act”.

Upton Sinclair also ran for Governor of California in 1934. He was influential in Charlie’s early political thinking.

The man to Chaplin’s left (middle and bottom) Rob Wagner,  also a big influence on Chaplin.  An author, Rob Wagner among his many talents published a weekly film magazine “Script” from 1929-1949.

So we got a low score on our corporate inspection. Opener never took care of the expired stuff, so we ended up with a D. Not an F, but still hella low. They’re giving us a month or two to shape up and try again, so hopefully this’ll scare us all into action.

Could have been worse, glad it wasn’t, now just gotta roll with the punches.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” a voice called out.  It’s a loud one. Hard to mistake at this point. Kurutta approached the booth with feigned airs of confidence, wearing a short-sleeved blue sundress that wasn’t as flattering as she told herself it was.

“You know I don’t dare make an appearance unless I have something creative and unique to bring, but that takes time. Time I see you certainly spent well.” She clicked her tongue as she raised her eyebrows and inspected Karamatsu’s lipstick-covered face.

“I knew what I was getting into when I fell for the popular one,” she said with a laugh. “And while I’m determined to make sure you get more out of this than I do, I can’t say I want to… ’blend in’ with everyone else either.” Kurutta rolled the tube of Wine Not between her fingers but didn’t put it on.

She began to rummage through her bag. “This would mean more if you really had any choice in the matter, you know; I almost didn’t come. But I know you wouldn’t say no anyway, and I guess I couldn’t either. Besides, you’ve kissed me of your own free will before.” She sighed resigned, as she finally found it. It was another, different tube of lipstick. This one didn’t have any sort of brand label on it at all.

“Good thing no one said we had to specifically use the lipstick we bought. I’d rather use my own. You have no idea how many of these I ruined trying to get it just right.” As she opened the tube, it became clear that it was a custom, homemade lipstick. The color was a saturated, unnatural blue with glitter and mint mixed in.

Kurutta leaned on the counter, parted her lips, and slowly applied the color. She didn’t break eye contact the entire time, and had clearly rehearsed this so she could do it without a mirror.

“Alright, prettyboy, ya ready?”

She reached out, grabbed his tie carefully, and pulled him closer to her for better access. She leaned passed him to whisper in his ear. “It’s a shame about that above-the-neck rule. Some rules are just begging to be broken, aren’t they?” The girl giggled mischievously. “A girl can’t always be a perfect angel when you’ve got her heartstrings coiled around your finger.”

With that, she closed the gap and pressed a deep kiss into his neck, right in the spot that meets the edge of the jaw and the bottom of the ear. Her teeth just barely grazed his skin, and she made sure to hold the kiss firmly for a moment to ensure the color would strongly rub off.

She chuckled again. “If you’re interested in the rest of that, you know where to find me.” 💋💙🏩


( submitted by @voiceactresskurutta )

Karamatsu is looking in the nearest mirror, adjusting his tie and hair, his face still flushed. The last few fans have been either very passionate or very endearing, and he’s not sure how much more his heart can take. But when the familiar voice calls out, it’s like an electric switch is flipped and a tingle goes up his spine.

“Oh … Oh, there you are, my Kurutta! You’ve returned!”

Forgetting about the mirror and everything else, Karamatsu comes out from behind the booth and stops just a few steps short of Kurutta. Before he’s able to tell her how much he’s missed seeing her, though, she starts talking. He feels oddly tense, a little embarrassed when she mentions the liptick prints on his face. That only adds to the blushing.

“I … I understand,” he says. “If anyone deserves a clean canvas, it’s you.”

He’s curious, though, when she starts going through her bag. “I … I’m glad you’re here. Really.” He swallows hard. “I’ve …” He has to clear his throat. “I’ve missed seeing you, your presence is always …” His voice and his lines all trail off when he sees the color of the lipstick. His eyes widen.

“I’m impressed,” he says, nodding. “Such creativity and boldness needs to be rewarded …” As she’s putting on the lipstick, he can’t help but watch. The sight of the strange color appearing on her lips, melting and shining just a little, is nearly hypnotic.

“Hm?” He jumps suddenly when she asks if he’s ready, and gathers himself up enough to smile. “I’m - I’m always ready for your kisses, of course!”

But ready for this, he isn’t.

When she grabs his tie and pulls him close, his smile fades and he gives off a little gasp at the sudden movement. The heat of his blushing starts to radiate off of his face onto hers as she whispers in his ear. There’s no way he can make any sound now, let alone words.

His entire body tenses and freezes - yet somehow his face is still burning? - when she kisses his neck. Once she’s pulled away, he just … stands there for a moment. It’s as if his life is flashing before his eyes.

The knees are the first to go, and they buckle under him, sending him to the floor. He makes a desperate grab for the booth to steady himself, but he just ends up landing on the floor, a piece of the wine-colored fabric from the booth going down with him and draping over him. He’s conscious … but he’s definitely not here right now. His eyes are staring past Kurutta, past the walls of the department store, somewhere into space by this point.

His face is roughly the same color as the rest of the lipstick, leaving only one mark still visible - the glittery blue one on his neck.

[ Congratulations. Karamatsu is Throroughly Wrecked, and the event is offically over. Hope his big brother is up for carrying him home! - Mod Daisy ]

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