inside elle

Why I’m So Excited For Ell …

So, as we all know, there are some extremely disgruntled fans within the Creampuff fandom who are absolutely furious that the movie is daring to include Carmilla’s ex. However, more than outrage, I’ve noticed that a lot of these fans seem genuinely confused as to why some of us are so excited for Ell, especially if we’re Hollstein shippers (which I am). So I thought I’d try to express why, at least for me, Ell’s appearance is so exciting and opens up so many possibilities.

Despite what the fandom (and the producers/writers) try to say, Laura was not the first person to have a deep enough impact on Carmilla that she tried to change. Laura was not the first person to make Carmilla want to change her life or escape the Dean. Ell was. Ell was the first person Carmilla ever fell in love with, the first person to have such a huge impact on the vampire that she sought escape and change. Carmilla spent nearly three centuries not bothering to defy her mother, comfortable with her place in the world, enjoying the benefits of being evil, but all that changed when she met Ell. Ell made her want to escape her mother, Ell made her question herself and her place in the grand scheme of things, Ell made enough of an impact on Carmilla that after she escaped her coffin, she rebelled against her mother, the start of her journey towards freedom.

And yes, of course Laura was a big part of Carmilla’s eventual fate and rebellion against her mother. Of course Carmilla loved Laura and wanted to change for her. Of course Laura had a deeply profound impact on Carmilla and her life, and without Laura Carmilla would not have found the strength to defy her mother (this includes the bad in her and Laura’s relationship, as Carm never would have learned to put herself first if Laura hadn’t repeatedly asked her to sacrifice her sense of self time and again). Laura is absolutely one of the biggest (if not the biggest) influences in Carmilla’s life and is the person she ended up choosing to make a life with. However, the fandom seems to forget that Carmilla made the same choice with Ell.

Carmilla loved Ell enough to plan a future with her, loved her enough to want to take her away and escape her mother. But she loved Ell in a different time than when she loved Laura, and so their relationship was doomed from the start. Ell was a 19th Century damsel, living in a world which wasn’t saturated with pop culture and casual attitudes towards the supernatural. Ell was a girl raised in a time and place which shunned the supernatural, was afraid of what was in the dark and placed a greater emphasis on religious superstition. And so, naturally, Carmilla hid what she was from Ell, for fear of rejection, not because she didn’t love her enough not to tell her. When The Dean revealed Carmilla’s true nature, Ell believed Carmilla to be a monster, due to the way in which the revelation came about (Maman went to her in secret and revealed my true nature in the most horrifying light) but also due to the time in which she lived. Despite what parts of the fandom believe, Ell did not reject Carmilla because she didn’t love her, but because Carmilla’s true nature terrified her, and understandably so.

So, Ell betrayed Carmilla. She led Inanna to where Carmilla hid, and Carm was forced to watch her mother send Ell to a certain doom. Carmilla was buried under the ground, where she spent the next eight decades in a coffin of blood. Their love became a thing of regret and tragedy, with both parties longing for a reunion, for the chance to make amends. Ell remained in the Light, desperately trying to contact Carmilla, warning girls with dreams and waiting until the day she could seek forgiveness from her former lover. Carmilla remained with her mother, but exacted her own small revenges and realised that Ell was in the Light, that she was reaching out to the girls, and what’s very interesting (and only underlines that Carm had unresolved feelings for/issues with Ell) is that Carmilla was jealous of the girls who could see Ell and sorrowful that she herself could not. She didn’t understand why Ell wasn’t reaching out to her and it’s not until Laura points out that maybe she can’t that Carmilla even considers that Ell isn’t staying silent because of Carm’s betrayal, but because she literally cannot contact her.

This is why I say there are unresolved feelings and issues here, because there is honestly so much to unpack when it comes to Carm and Ell. While Ell was in the Light she obviously had a change of heart regarding Carm and her belief that Carmilla was a monster. Seeing all the girls devoured by the Light, being trapped inside it for decades and realising that Inanna was the true monster would – I assume – have had a profound effect on Ell, or whatever echo was left of her. Her belief that Carmilla was a monster seems to have shifted, altered, changed once she discovered who the real monster was. For all we know, Ell could have had this change of heart the moment she realised what Inanna had in store for her and spent all those decades regretting betraying Carm, waiting in the Light, reaching out to girls when she could.

In a way, both Ell and Carmilla were seeking redemption and forgiveness, both of them doing what they could to save the girls targeted by Inanna, Carm on the surface and Ell from inside the Light. And this is spurned, at least in part, by their love for one another and the regret both feel in regards to the way their relationship ended. And neither girl was ever given the chance to express this regret to the other. When Carmilla saw the Light during the final battle in Season 1, she was finally, after all these decades, able to see and reach for her lost love. But when she “killed” the Light, the ghosts vanished, Ell along with them, and so she never received closure.

And yes, Carmilla moved on. She fell in love with Laura and built a relationship with Laura and I certainly am not hoping that Ell will come in and steal Carmilla away from or jeopardize her relationship with Laura (not that she could, it’s been five years, a six-year relationship would not be threatened by an old flame). But there is so much still for Carm and Ell to resolve, so much regret and bitterness and sorrow. And I want to see it all.

I want to see Ell apologise for betraying Carm. I want to hear her talk about the fear Inanna planted in her, the way Inanna twisted words and actions and made Carmilla out to be a monster, a creature of darkness Ell believed she should fear. I want to see Carm’s face when she sees Ell, I want to see the softness which appeared on her features when she told Laura her story in Season 1. I want Carm to apologise for lying, to talk about her fear of rejection and how she didn’t know how to tell Ell the truth. I want the girls to acknowledge that they once loved one another deeply, but Carmilla is a different person, a different being now, and Ell needs to move on to whatever is waiting for her in the afterlife. I want their history explored, their feelings laid bare. I want to see Carmilla achieve peace when it comes to this relationship, to have the closure she never got. She spent decades regretting her actions during her relationship with Ell, and from what little we gleaned of Ell, it sounds like she, too, has spent over a century buried in regret, pain and lost love for Carm.

This is why I’m excited for Ell. Not because I’m rooting for relationship drama, or want Carmilla to have to “choose” between Laura and Ell (a ridiculous notion in itself, because it suggests that Carmilla is still in love with Ell, which she isn’t, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have unresolved feelings for her). I’m excited for Ell because her and Carm’s story was unfinished, incomplete. Neither girl got closure and both had decades of regret and sorrow regarding the relationship. I want to see this resolved, I want both girls to get closure. I want the rich details of Carm’s past laid bare and I want to see her face her demons, her past and her former lover. I feel like we barely scratched the surface with Ell and Carmilla’s relationship and my excitement over Ell’s appearance is because of this. Exploring Carmilla’s past can only enrich the current story, and I wish more fans could see that.

It sends a very important message. The majority of time, sensuality has nothing to do with being naked. I think we all enjoy wearing lingerie for our own selves, not for other people. Feminism is not just based on the fact that a woman can do what she wants but her being respected and encouraged while fulfilling her wishes in every field.
—  Dakota Johnson on the Intimissimi Inside and Out Campaign (Elle Spain 2017)
Never Again

A/N: Another request from my AO3 account. Spencer is in a relationship in the first season, so the events of The Fisher King Parts 1&2 revolve around him and the reader. I didn’t want to get rid of Elle in the storyline, so it’s Elle and the reader that get hurt. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @hogwarts-konoha

                                                                —-

Hotch was supposed to be home with his wife. 

Gideon was supposed to be upstate with his friend.

Spencer and Y/N were supposed to be visiting his mother in Vegas.

Everyone else was supposed to be somewhere else but work, but the world was apparently conspiring against them. Because they’d all ended up here again. 

Baseball cards.

Butterflies.

Skeleton keys and music boxes.

Severed heads and bloody bodies.

All of it had led here.

And now they were standing at Elle’s desk, the scratchy voice of the presumed Fisher King emanating forcefully from the phone while Spencer crumbled to the ground. “Agents Greenaway and Y/L/N didn’t have to die like that.” And then the phone went dead.

Spencer swallowed hard and crumpled to the floor, staring at Hotch as the anger radiated through him. “What? She’s…” They’d gone to college together. They’d gotten into the Bureau together. They’d finally confessed their feelings to each other and they were finally happy. She couldn’t be dead. She just couldn’t. “Hotch?” he asked panicked. 

In a panic he normally didn’t exhibit, Hotch spun around and found Anderson. “Did you take Elle and Y/N home?”

“They were both exhausted, so Elle told her to just come inside.”

“And you left them there?” Hotch said angrily. “With a killer on the loose targeting us? You left them there? Go back now!” Flustered, Anderson turned around and ran out of the Bureau, with Hotch and the rest of the team following closely behind. 

On the way, Spencer went numb. Sure everyone was in a panic because two of their own had been gunned down, but this was different. This was his good friend and the only woman he’d ever loved - and he hadn’t been there to protect her. “Kid, it’s gonna be okay. Anderson called and said they’re both alive.”

“Just because they’re alive doesn’t mean they’re going to stay that way,” Spencer snapped, the tears flowing freely down his face. “Morgan, Y/N is the only woman I’ve ever loved, if she dies, and I wasn’t there to save her…I’ll-I’ll never forgive myself.” God, he was in love with her; he was so in love with her. He’d imagined them getting married, having kids together, the whole nine yards. And now they might never get a chance to realize that. “I’m scared Morgan,” Spencer said sadly.

Morgan placed his hand on Spencer’s shoulder, squeezing tightly in an effort to give him some degree of comfort. As they pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, Spencer didn’t even wait for the car to stop before pulling off his seatbelt and darting inside. “Agents Elle Greenaway and Y/N Y/L/N,” he said hurriedly. “Are they here? Are they okay?”

“Both of your agents are in surgery right now,” the nurse said, looking up toward Spencer with pity. Unable to do anything, Spencer and Gideon stayed at the hospital waiting for Elle and Y/N to get out of surgery while the rest of the team returned to the case. The Fisher King wasn’t going to let up anytime soon. 

“She’s gonna be okay, Reid,” Gideon said.

Spencer’s eyes welled up again, his lip quivering as the tears fell down his cheeks and onto the floor. “You don’t know that…Gideon, she’s…she’s the only woman I’ve ever been with…she’s everything to me.” He choked out a sob as his knee bobbed up and down and his hands started to shake. The only thing that could make him feel better was knowing that she was alive.

“Agents Greenaway and Y/L/N?” The nurse asked. Spencer practically tripped into her as he stood up, Gideon following closely behind. 

“Yes? Are they okay?”

“Y/L/N had a successfully surgery and should be in recovery now. Greenaway was more touch and go, but she’s also in recovery. Y/L/N will probably be awake first.”

Spencer stumbled over his words asking for Y/N’s room number, but his breath was taken away from him when he walked into the room; she was so pale, so fragile, so different from the woman he knew and loved. But her chest was steadily rising and falling, she was alive. “Spencer?” 

“Y/N,” he said, practically falling into the chair as he went to sit at her bedside. “You’re okay. I’m-I-I-I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I’m so sorry.”

She raised her hands to his cheek - the muscles in her arm straining from the stretch. “It’s not your fault, Spence,” she breathed, her eyes clouding over with tears. “You couldn’t have known. None of us could have.” Spencer gripped her hands, giving them a light squeeze as he bent down to kiss them, and then she pulled away and her hand drifted to the scar on her chest. 

“What is it?” he asked, watching as her face dropped.

Her fingers drifted over the bandage covering her chest. “He had his fingers in my chest…to write on the wall. He had his hands near my heart.” 

Spencer could practically feel the veins pop up against his skin as he seethed in anger. He’d had his hands on her. “It will never happen again,” he said, sitting on the bed next to her. “I promise, no one will ever get that close to your heart again.”

“Except you.” She smiled.

“Except me.”

Never again.

Needy Ell

Smut warning ⚠️
Ell x Edd
Ell is having trouble pleasing herself and needs some help.
—————————————————–


Ell paced back and forth in front of Edd’s door, it was late. She didn’t know why she was so sexually frustrated, but she was. It was bad, this would be the third night in a row she felt this way. Touching herself just wasn’t enough.

‘Could I really bother Edd just for sex? Would he even let? Oh my God, why do I have to be so horny!’ Ell thought. She tried her best to look sexy. She wore a green low cut tank top with some black booty shorts.

Before she could summon the courage to knock the door flung open. Edd bumped right into Ell. For a moment Ell swore something jabbed her leg. Edd was only in his boxers.

“O-Oh, hey Ell.” He greeted her. His eyes drift down to her cleavage.

“Edd, I-I was just about to knock.” She flushed. She knew where Edd was looking, but she enjoyed his looking.

“What’s up?”

“I-I…” Ell flushed and stuttered. She just couldn’t ask him. Then her eyes drifted down. Edd was obviously hard.

Edd immediately blushed. “I-I’m so sorry.” He went to turn away. Ell grabbed his wrest.

“Don’t be sorry.” Ell murmured. She was trying her hardest to be sexy but she was so nervous.

Edd looked at her in surprise. He couldn’t believe she said that. Was this real?

“Well, it is embarrassing.” Edd said trying to keep his calm. Ell gave him an evil grin. She pushed past him into his bedroom.

“You have no reason to be embarrassed.” Ell said softly then sat on his bed. Edd was so confused. Most girls would’ve freaked out at this.

Edd shut the door. 'So much for master-bating in the bathroom.’ He walked over and sat next to her on the bed.

“Why shouldn’t I be embarrassed?” Edd asked.

Ell took his hand and placed it on her thigh. Her face was completely red. Edd could feel heat practically radiating from her. He squeezes her thigh. Ell let out a breathy moan. Edd felt himself twitch.

“O-Oh. This is why you were outside my room?”

“I-I’ve been so horny lately. Nothing I do helps.” Ell was so flustered.

“So you wanted my help?” Edd asked. He could feel lust taking over.

Ell nodded. “Mmhm.”

Edd gasped. He moved his other hand to her face. Ell leaned into his hand. He pulled her into a lustful kiss. His other hand moved to her vaginal area. He rubbed her through her shorts.

She moaned into his mouth. This was so amazing. His hand moved down from her face to her breast. Softly he massaged her. Ell broke this kiss.

“Edd, more.”

Edd took her tank top off and her shorts. She wore black lacy bra and pantie set. Ell laid back on his bed. He looked Ell up and down.

“God, Ell, I could cum just looking at you.” Edd murmured and began to kiss down her neck. Ell moaned and tilted her head to the side. Edd nibbled and sucked. He grinned against her. Ell wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Edd, I need you now! Please!” Ell begged. Edd ripped her bra and panties off. He took his boxers off.

“Are you ready?” Edd ask breathlessly.

“Yes~!” Ell cried out.

Edd pushed deep inside Ell. Ell moaned and scratched his back. He growled. He stayed still till she asked him to move. Edd began slow and soft.

“Damn it Edd, fuck me!” Ell scream.

Edd began to pound her. Ell cried out. She pulled at his hair, Edd leaned down to kiss Ell. She kissed him deeply. Ell broke out of the kiss.

“E-Edd, I’m c-cumming!”

Edd trusted, harder. He felt her tighten around him. He felt her warm release around him. Edd pulled out of her. He beat himself then pulled her by the ponytail.

“Swallow me.” Edd growled. Ell opened her mouth and sucked. It didn’t take long for him to cum. Ell swallowed it all.

They laid breathless on his bed. Ell cuddled up to Edd. Edd kissed her head. Ell smiled up and then yawned. Slowly she drifted off into sleep.

You made it rain
like the iceberg made the titanic sink,
Made me believe in you
Like Peter Pan believed in youth

Made me tear myself up
Until bones was all that was left


Accused me of stealing your heart
As you showed your empty chest


But dear unknown how could I know
There never was a heart
Just an empty soul


A mouth full of words
Words that only you could say


The words that told me you loved me
And the deeds
that took those words away


Tell me you care
And never again will I believe you
For you say it with this empty stare


A stare of death
A stare of decay
A stare that shows me,
Something took all your care away


Honey,
Don’t tell me lies
For the truth I will always discover
In the inside of your eyes.

—  Elle Medina
Imagine accidentally getting pranked by the Weasley Twins.

Requested by Anon.

You have just finished your last class of the day and are on your way back to your common room. Your professor needed to speak to you after class so you’re on your own as everyone else was able to leave at the end of the lesson. Up ahead of you is Draco Malfoy, striding purposefully to wherever he is going, but other than him, the corridor is completely empty.

Except it isn’t because further along, peeking out from behind an archway you see one of the Weasley twins. You’re normally pretty good at telling them apart but from this distance it’s hard to say whether it’s Fred or George although the other twin probably isn’t far away. The twin in view takes a sneaky look at Malfoy, grins wickedly then disappears back behind the archway. All this in a blink of an eye meaning that Malfoy is unaware he has been given the once over. They’re up to something no doubt but you’re in no mood to warn the snidey Slytherin. He’s always looked down his nose at you so anything they throw at him is fine by you!

However, as you progress down the corridor, Malfoy begins to slow and check the pocket of his robes. He’s obviously lost something and a quick glance back confirms he has indeed dropped some papers. Sneering superciliously at you, he doubles back on himself in order to retrieve his possessions. Thinking nothing of it other than what an absolute arsehole he is, you shoot him a dirty look in return and carry on past him towards the hiding Weasleys. As you pass under the archway, you hear a faint clunk and then a sloshing noise before an icy cold sensation hits you smack on the forehead. A whole bucket of freezing water has been tipped over you, the metal bucket landing painfully over your head, obscuring your vision.

“Oops!” remarks a Weasley voice as you stand there dripping wet and dazed. “Don’t think that’s Malfoy!” comments its partner in crime. “Not unless he’s had a sex change!” jokes the first speaker. “Better see who it is then.” the second voice replies, removing the bucket carefully from your head. Two sets of matching hazel eyes peer sheepishly at you as you glare back at them. “Blimey.” says George, looking worried. “You ok?” Surveying the damage around you of soaking wet clothes, your bag and books strewn all over the floor, you hold your arms out in disbelief. “Does it look like I’m ok?” you mutter through gritted teeth. Fred sniggers at this but stops when George elbows him in the ribs. To add insult to injury, Draco walks by smirking cruelly at your misfortune. “Look a bit soggy there.” he laughs spitefully. “You two bozos have actually done something funny for once!” Fred and George both reach for their wands in preparation but Draco is not in the mood for a scrap luckily and carries on walking.

“Oi!” you demand angrily. “Never mind him, what about me?” The two boys turn back to you, silently appraising you for a moment. You suddenly feel very self conscious as they stand there in front of you. You have the biggest crush on George and now here you are with your hair plastered all over your face, robes sagging with the weight of the water. You must look ridiculous. “It’s only a bit of water.” Fred says unsympathetically with a shrug. “You’ll dry out.” “My books are ruined!” you yell back at him, his blasé attitude causing you to lose your cool. “And my homework…… Look at it!” The roll of parchment lies limply in a puddle. George picks it up and gives it a shake then hangs it over a suit of armour to dry. “Might be alright with a drying charm.” he ventures, waving his wand skilfully at it, but you can see that the ink has run on part of it and it has now dried to an inky, swirly blob instead of the essay you spent all of last night finishing. “Oh….” says George forlornly, at least having the decency to look sorry for their actions. Fred on the other hand is refusing to take responsibility. “Well, if you will get in the way of our pranks like that, what do you expect? We’ve been waiting ages for the right moment to soak that git then you come along and ruin it!” You give a strangled scream of fury at this and lunge at Fred, George has to quickly step in and hold you back. “Not helping, Fred!” he puffs, straining to hold you back. “You best go and let me deal with this.”

Fred scowls sulkily at you then slouches off muttering under his breath about people not being able to take a joke. “Your brother can be a right arsehole sometimes….” you complain, which makes George laugh. “Yep. Reckon he makes me look good in comparison though.” he jokes. You smile at this, then begin to laugh as it occurs to you how silly you must look, stood there still completely drenched, George still with his arms around you and your homework flapping in the breeze like a banner. “That’s better.” George says looking relieved. “Let’s get you sorted out.” Letting go of you almost reluctantly (or is that just your imagination?) he casts a drying charm on you, straightening your robes for you in a very gentlemanly fashion. You can only watch, your heart beating a little faster at his actions. You’re trying not to stare at him but you’ve never been this close to him before. You can see every freckle on his nose, the gentle curve of his mouth, the way his brow furrows as he concentrates on his task of helping you.

“Thanks.” you manage to utter as he finishes. “Least I can do.” he answers, again looking sheepish. He casts a final charm on the items strewn around the floor and bends down to start picking them up for you. “Expect I’ve totally ruined my chances though now…..” he adds ruefully. “Chances of what?” you ask, puzzled as you kneel beside him and help to retrieve your books. He stops and smiles at you, making butterflies explode in your insides. “We-ell…..” he sighs “I’ve been working up the courage to ask you out. Not likely you’ll say yes now though is it?” He grins apologetically then carries on putting your things back in your bag. “Really?” You’re taken aback by this. You had no idea he liked you. George lifts his head, nodding and smiling at you again. The butterflies in your stomach become a tornado. “Well I wouldn’t say you’d ruined all your chances….” you reply quietly, looking at George through your lashes. He’s frozen now, one hand holding your pencil case, an extremely interested expression on his face. He quirks an eyebrow at you as you continue “In fact, if you were to impress me with a really amazing first date, I may even be able to forgive you……. just this once.”

“I see…..” George counters feigning seriousness, trying and failing to stop a huge smirk spreading over his face. “In that case, how about I buy you lunch in Hogsmeade this weekend for starters?” You grin at him in response “Sounds promising.” All your books are back in your bag now and George stands up then gently helps you to your feet before giving you back your things. “I am really sorry about the water, and your homework, and my idiot of a brother.” he tells you sincerely. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.” You reach for your parchment and roll it back up to put in your bag. “I’ll look forward to that!” you murmur flirtatiously then add saucily “Naughty boys like you deserve to be thoroughly punished!” George splutters at this and you give him a salacious wink, walking off before he can respond. Glancing over your shoulder, you see he’s still just stood there grinning at you, unable to believe his luck at getting you to agree to a date. “See you later.” you call back cheerfully, trying to contain your own excitement at least until you’ve made it round the corner and out of sight.

At dinner that evening, you can’t help but giggle as you overhear Fred saying to some of the others “I dunno how he does it. One minute we’re tipping water on the girl, next he’s got himself a date with her!” George laughs and looks across at you, catching your eye. “Some of us have got it, some haven’t Freddie my boy.” he teases. “You reckon!” grumbles Fred. “I still think it was that knock to the head. Must have sent the girl daft……”