insect joke


Look at this tiny weird ass insect that looks like it’s got a lizard for a head.

I literally typed in “insect with lizard head” and found it. Lol. It’s called a Glassy Winged Sharpshooter (this one isn’t adult b/c it doesn’t have wings yet).

Something about releasing the liquid in their bodies in a sharp stream manner is how they got their name.

They feed off plants with their needle-like mouths and can jump great distances. They look funny b/c they shuffle side to side and do “push ups” before jumping.

This one had moved to a leaf and I tried to pluck the leaf to bring it closer but…I accidentally flicked it off. Good I guess b/c they are actually known to spread plant diseases D:

It’s funny how they avoid predators, by playing merry go round. So when I tried to look at it from one side it would scurry to the other side out of view and the same if i follow it to the other side.

So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean’s list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him.

He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it.

Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn’t been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there’s no punch line.

Also a little late christmas present for @mollymerula! because she has been so nice all these days while I was in Vancouver and I couldn’t speak with most of my friends due to time zones… So being able to talk with her was relly nice! 

thanks you! :’^)

Aaaand, welp, when I arrived back home in Spain there was like… no winter?? where is the cold? it’s summer already?? no, really, it’s not a joke, insects on desember is not something usual here… ヾ(:3ノシヾ)ノシ where is my winter…

Thing 1: WORKER ants

Thing 2: IANTSE. Pun because they are ants. IATSE (without the N) is the union of professional stagehands, motion picture technicians, and allied crafts.

Thing 3: on the board thing it says Director: Cendreda. There’s a director named Martin Cendreda who worked on The Fairly Oddparents and South Park and was the storyboard artist for Bojack Horseman.

Tara Maclay is awesome.

I was listening to a podcast and they started talking about Buffy and Tillow and I was pretty much happy until the host declared “Willow and Tara were great representation, except I was a little sad that Tara was stupid.”

Originally posted by btvsmemories

OK. OK I stomped all the way home and though everyone is entitled to their opinion, this opinion is wrong.

Listen up, Tara Maclay is not stupid. Tara is actually very smart and no I’m not making this up. Glory, a freaking god, says so herself. She says she’s a little buzzed from “eating the witches brain” and declares “what a mind that girl has”. But don’t take a super villains word for it.

This person did say something right in her podcast, she said Tara is inarticulate. Right. She is inarticulate. So am I. That doesn’t make us unintelligent. Tara has trouble communicating. She also has a stutter. She doesn’t talk a lot and when she does she mumbles (especially in the beginning) and she often has trouble articulating ideas from her head. I don’t stutter but I definitely do do the rest of those. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told to speak up, or that I don’t make sense and I am aware that a lot of people think I am unintelligent because of this.

I’ve seen a lot of people unhappy that Tara wasn’t “well written” or “fleshed out” but I connected with her because she was. She was like me. She had a lot to say but she didn’t know how to say it. She had this whole world inside her head but this really lonely inability to share it. And yeah, you can have a lot of fun on your own making up constellations and seeing the magic in the world but you also do want to not be alone in it sometimes. Tara is a person who just wants to reach out and touch someone but she doesn’t know how.

Until Willow. Until she finds Willow and they touch, both metaphorically and physically in Hush. The world goes quiet and suddenly someone can hear her. Suddenly Willow can hear her and, in a beautiful twist, Willow likes what she hears. And we see this beautiful unfolding of Tara’s personality as she spends more and more time with Willow. Because Willow understands that she needs to listen to her. Throughout the series, Willow doesn’t just understand Tara in ways no one else does (for example Tara’s insect reflection joke) she actively seeks clarification when she doesn’t. In the scene where they look at constellations, Willow is at first perplexed by Tara pointing out the big pineapple, but she doesn’t dismiss it, she pursues it. She asks her what she means and when Tara says she made up names for the constellations, Willow says “teach me.” Tara is not boring, or empty or unintelligent you just have to listen to her and Willow knows that and more she wants to listen to her. She treasures the secret world in Tara’s head. 

And it’s the same with the fans. Didn’t you notice in Hush that Tara not only picked up on the fact that Willow was a witch but she also found out where to find her and how to contact her and actively sought her out to stop what was happening? People were having their hearts ripped out at night but she went out on her own to find Willow to try a spell she thought might stop them. That’s not only resourceful but incredibly brave. A kind of quiet courage and adherence to doing the right thing she shows over and over throughout the series.

Did you notice in the Body, the way she quietly tried to help everyone? The way she used her patience and empathy to act as an anchor to her friends?

Did you notice in Family that Tara figured out on her own that magic wasn’t inherently bad? That she wasn’t inherently bad? That she had the courage to walk away from her family and pursue it anyway because she thought she could do good with it?

Did you notice in The Real Me when she immediately understood that Dawn was feeling left out and othered and not only went to sit with her when the others were investigating the body, but also suggested that they try to make her feel more included?

Did you see her stand up to Glory despite expressing tremendous fear over what Glory does to people in the episode prior?

Did you notice how in Forever she understood why Dawn couldn’t bring her mother back, why they couldn’t interfere with natural death using magic, even though Willow for all her raw talent did not?

Did you miss when she instantly picked up on the fact that Buffy wasn’t Buffy when Faith was in her body? That she instantly picked up on the fact that house in Where the Wild things are wasn’t right?

Not only is she an amazing character, but she is one with an amazing arc. We see her grow in confidence through the episodes she graces us in, through having friendship, through fighting the good fight. And I think a lot of that is that when people started listening to her, she realized how much she had to say. Tara is a character who learned to say no. To say back off. To say I know what’s right and I’m going to stand by it. Buffy and friends give her the confidence to stand up to her father in Family and she stands up for Willow much later in the series when Anya tries to pressure her into using magic. To stands up to Willow when Willow does use magic on her.

And all throughout, Tara is patient and kind and observant. She is a very well rounded and believable character that, yes believe it or not, even has some rough edges to her. She is unyielding in her sense of right and wrong (which isn’t always a bad thing but can make her stubborn) and deeply insecure which does lead her to doubt the people she loves (including Willow) when they really do love her and want to be with her. And her insecurity is something she works on. She is well rounded and unique and we need more characters like her. 

Tara is not a character that is in your face and obvious, she is a character you have to pay attention to and care about to really understand. And I’m sorry if you don’t like that kind of character but in no way is she poorly written. In no way is she bad representation. Could she have gotten more screen time? Hell yes. But don’t sell her short because of that. She is one of my favourite characters of all time and there is a very good reason for that.

my dad's clever joke
  • dad: what do you call a green insect that lives 4 meters underground and eats rocks.
  • me: idk what
  • dad: it's called the green rock eating insect that lives 4 meters underground
  • me:
  • me:
  • dad: *laughs hysterically*
  • so the conversation moves elsewhere
  • 5 minutes later
  • dad: here's a physics and mechanics question for you to think carefully about
  • me: ok
  • dad: if I were to drill a whole in the ground all the way to China, and then drop a rock through that hole, will the rock get to China?
  • me: um idk no? because of gravity?
  • dad: *shakes silently with laughter*
  • me: ?
  • dad: no. It won't. Because at 4 meters the green rock eating insect that lives 4 meters underground eats the rock
  • me:
  • me: *walks away*
  • me: why do I keep falling for his dad jokes. why.
  • I'm disgusted with myself. That clever little shit.

My friends often call me a “Disney princess” because wild animals often find atteaction to me and trust me with their lives.
They sometimes call me Pocahontas, because I am Native American and it seems to fit. I certainly do not mind, because it is an innocent joke.

So for those who don’t know me personally, here are some examples of my “Disney princess”-ness

@bloodyshanglong @vccraziness @otpshipwrecked @oocupcake256xx @mrddragon007