insane rpg

Context: We’re preparing for a level 13 Pathfinder module. We all decided to go pretty extreme with our characters, but I think mine takes the cake. My character is a Svirfneblin Tower Shield Specialist with an AC of 52 base and with the right circumstances I can increase it by another 12. I did some research on a new feat that gives me extra options with combat feats. The following conversation happened over text.

Me: So. My Fighter can spend 14 stamina to increase his AC by an extra 9. As if it weren’t already ridiculous enough.

GM: DUDE. You’re already a walking tank. You do realize that I HAVE to roll a 20 to hit you already, right? This is insane.

Voltage Honest Trailers: Liar

Thanks to all those who gave love to my trailers for Gangsters in Love and Enchanted in the Moonlight! The long wait is finally over! Enjoy this honest trailer!

THIS HONEST TRAILER IS RATED S FOR SPOILERS!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Liar Honest Trailer:

Narrator: From the assholes that brought you games like KBTBB, EITM, and MFW in which men screw you over, comes a NEW Voltage party game where you get your own harem. Only this time…YOU get to screw over MEN!!!

Voltage Fans: What?! A badass MC with a Brain?! What is this sorcerery? 😧

Narrator: I know right?😆

(Slight Beat)

Liar: Uncover the Truth!

(Cue Liar S1 Opening Music)

(Beat)

In a brand new setting, you play as an all new MC.

A stylish, young, tough as nails, city woman in her late twenties who is good at her job and desires to get married.

MC: “My ideal man is out there, and I’m going to find him!“😏

Narrator: Only in reality, she’s a lying, hypocritical slob from the countryside who is wasting her talent to possibly becoming a badass lawyer, cop, or a better detective than Batman, as she tortures herself by working as a wedding planner while she watches left and right as all her co workers get hitched.

Ayumi: “I’m getting married!“😄💍

MC: “What?! YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED?! YOU?! 😱

MC: “It’s really pathetic that I, a wedding planner, is here at a matchmaking party…"😓

Narrator: Following an ugly breakup with her cheating ex boyfriend, MC stands her ground and has her sights set on finding a new man!

…Only to really reveal that she is, in fact, a gold digging thot seeking an oh so perfect man that sounds more glorified than a Gary Stu from a fanfiction.

MC: “I want a man out of college, have an income over 10 million yen, and be five feet over eight inches! I have pretty high standards!"💁🏻

MC: "I’m not gonna settle for anything less than perfection!"😤

Narrator:…Says the country slob…😒

(Beat)

As you follow the guide from a gay fortune teller, you wind up at a matchmaking party where you are told the premise of the game.

Fortuneteller: "You’ll meet 10 men. But only 9 of them are no good liars.”

Narrator: After defying facts like “don’t judge a book by its cover” by turning down two ugly guys, you meet your soon to be victims, LIKE:

Haruichi Mamiya!

The president of the IT company who’s only popular within the Voltage fandom because he’s a kinder version Soryu Oh with glasses as he is secretly affiliated with the mob.

MC: “He’s with the yakuza?!"😨

Narrator: Although says to be conservative, he nearly rapes you while your sleeping in the spring break arc. Complete with an nightmare fuelish image of him slowly removing your clothes.

Haruichi: "Am I the man of your dreams?"😌

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Sotaro Shiga!

The sexy and sexist as fuck bastard surgeon who’s been involved in two marriages.

He’s fits the MCs standards with his high income but can’t seem to get his own shit together.

Sotaro: "I don’t have a wife…who’s going to clean my room?"😭

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Azusa Kurono!

A much cuter version of Ota Kisaki only he himself is a con artist who plays the MC like a violin.

Azusa: "Women are nothing but fake bitches to me!"😂

Narrator: Only after being exposed, he crawls back to you in his route after it is shown that he’s really a broke ass.

Azusa: "Please let me in…I’m cold…"😷

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Keima Katagiri!

A buddy from school who peaked in college who secretly has a gambling addiction.

Keima: "Just five more minutes to turn my luck around!!"😤

Narrator: *Sighs* Aurora James would be proud…😪

(Beat)

Joe Yazawa!

A clearly gay fashion designer who should just date the fortuneteller.

Because while he’s with the MC, all they ever do is talk fashion.

Joe: "You are my muse!"😀

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Itaru Yuikawa!

The apparent "Mr. Right” of the whole game.

Where in reality he is from the countryside like you, used to be ugly and unattractive, and spent a whole DECADE to change his life just so he can be the glorified man you always wanted.

Itaru: “I’ve become everything that you wanted me to be!"😄

MC: He changed his entire self for me?! What a liar!!😒

Narrator: Are you REALLY talking?!😠😧

(Slight Beat)

Kazumi Kagami!

The "liar” who was called out for being a liar for NO reason as the MC made false accusations of drug use.

Kazumi is the only man who is able to see through the MCs scheming and snooping ways.

Kazumi: “I know why you’re really here…"😏

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Other potential liars include:

Toya Kashi

The pastry chef who should have starred in the movie: Anger Management.

Kunio Muroi!

The dipshit who hates women with Taylor Swift bodies.


And Shuto Matsuki!

The so called World famous soccer player who couldn’t make it into FIFA and has a disturbing incestuous relationship with his mama.


(Slight Beat)

Man that was a long listing…you guys still with me?

(Beat)

So smuggle some coins…waste your tickets, receive bad flirting advice from a thot bunny, and learn obvious life skills, beauty hacks, and common sense for women like you who struggle with life in their 20’s as you navigate through the silly chess map of an RPG, doing insane things LIKE:

Invasion of Privacy:

Liar Bunny: "Look through his bag! He could be a liar!"😤

Narrator: Stalking your crush on Instagram:

MC: "Time to do some snooping! Er…I mean, Investigating!😅”

Narrator: AND, sadistically watch as your lying victim pees their pants in the Phoenix Wright portion of the game.

Shizuo: “I’m-I’m not cheating on you!"😰

Narrator: And afterwards, play through the possible endings LIKE:

The Ending with the tragic backstory(True End):

Toya: "You cheated on ME while I was gone?!"😡

Narrator: The Ending where you suck the liars dick(Love End):

MC:"I’ll never love a mammas boy like y-!"😠

Shuto: "Let’s go to Italy!"😄

MC: "Okay!"😍

Narrator: The Ending that you instantly and sadistically watch right after you expose the liar just to feel satisfied(Scumbag End):

Woman: "You bastard!! I want a divorce!"😡

Kunio: "Oh shit…"😰

Narrator: The Ending where you can get stalked(Secret End):

Joe: "It’s Nanami! I’ve got her in my sights!"😍

Narrator: And of course the Free Bad Ending where you’re screwed over into possible debt, death, rape, kidnapping, or jail time…


(Slight Beat)

…But don’t worry, if you’re fed up with the gold digging MC, then play as the all new MC in…

(Cue Liar S2 Opening Music)

Liar: Office Deception!

A tale of stereotypical office scandals where you play as a not-so-fake, bisexual, and naturally prettier MC, who ACTUALLY keeps her room clean! And doesn’t lie about her private life.

And even with a much sexier and realistic cast, absolutely NONE of them get a lovers route because Voltage and their greedy asses still fails to give us the good shit we ask for!

(Slight Beat)

In this story, after finding out that your bff is sleeping with your loser boyfriend, you are rewarded by being sent to a team of sexy dumbasses where you become their leader to lead the team to victory!

Throughout the game, where you have to scope out both male AND female liars to find the perfect partner, you are forced to deal with things, LIKE:

😑ffice Gossip:


Female Employee: "Did Mr. Minami just say he was obsessed with her butt?"😓


Narrator: 😁ffice Harrassment!


MC: "Could you please take your hand off my butt?"😓


Narrator: And of course…😅ffice Deception:


MC: "You’re a boy aren’t you?! You lied to me to get info from the company!"😤

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: And no, before you ask, you CANNOT romance the girls!😤

Seriously, stop asking. Voltage Japan doesn’t give us what we want you know…😒


But hey, at least we are getting a Voltage anime and manga series soon, right?😃

(Beat)

STARRING:

"Harry Styles”(Azusa)🎸

“Greys in Anime”(Sotaro)😷

“Soryu Ichinomiya”(Haruchi)💸

“Cake Boss”(Toya)🎂

“Incestuous FIFA Star”(Shuto)⚽️

“The Real Scumbag”(Kunio)👹

“Poker Face”(Keima)🃏

“Cover Boy”(Joe)💄

“Writer of: The Liar Games”(Kazumi)📖

“The Perfect Match for the Perfect Liar”(Itaru)🎭

“Caitlyn Jenner”(May)👩🏻/👦🏻

“(NOT) Yusei Fudo”(Yusei)🔩

“Harry Potter”(Kohei)👓

“Follow me on Instagram!”(Shiori)📲

“90s Lesbi Barbie”(Reina)💋

“I’m Blue!(And lazy!)” (Minoru)😪

“Thirsty in my 30s”(Daikichi)💦

“Bieber-Stealer-Fever”(Guy)😈

“Lonely Virgin”(Chisa)😔

“BETTER than Itaru!”(Keisuke)😉

“Sakura-HOE”(Sakurako)🍑

“A”(Ayumi)💁🏻


"The WORST Flirting Guide Ever!”(Liar Bunny)🐰


…AND


“Pretty Little Liars” (The MCs)💄


(Slight Beat)


LAW and LIARS…





Hey! Here’s a fun game! Take a shot every time someone in the game says liar! 😆🍷

MC: Liar!😾

MC: Liars and cheats!😑

MC: Are they all liars?!😧

MC: These liars don’t stand a chance!😉

Kunio: You are such a liar!😒

Narrator: Nevermind…you’ll probably end up in the hospital…😓

But hey, at least you’ll get to see Sotaro!😃

Follow and comment if you want more honest trailers!

Starfinder

So, about a month ago now, Paizo released their new hot series of tabletop rpg insanity: Starfinder!
It’s based on Pathfinder but they trimmed out some fat to make things easier, and also added some new mechanics like an Armor Class against energy-based attacks and rules to build your own starships and getting them into combat with other ships.

I got a crew to give the game a sweet little test ride using the Starfinder Asociation adventure series “Into the Unknown”. It’s available for free from Paizo’s website and contains 5 short, connected adventures designed to take up to an hour. They are kind of basic, but good enough to get your feet wet with the game.

The crew: To be honest, we didn’t bother too much with backstories and names as I made it perfectly clear that we’d only finish these short adventures with the characters before I make a proper campaign at some point.
Anyway, our group intrepid heroes consisted of a Shirren Mystic, a Vesk Soldier, a Human Soldier, a Kasatha Solarian, and an Android Operative. The android is actually the only guy whose name I remember: Chat. His and the kasatha’s players were actually the only guys who set up a proper backstory. Basically the kasatha is a rich kid Twitch streamer and Chat acts both as his bodyguard, as well as a monitor that displays the kasatha’s channel’s chat. Androids in Starfinder actually more or less look like flesh and blood humanoids, but I allowed them to give him an LED screen for a face. Those two were great fun and had a really good dynamic going between them.
The shirren and vesk were premades, because their players didn’t really have the time to look through the rules prior to our session because of work and stuff.

Anyway, we only got through the first two parts of Into the Unknown because of time restrictions, but we are planning to finish the rest in two weeks.
The first adventure has the group looking for a mysterious person who sold off some some items to a pawnbroker. Those items are important to the Starfinder Society (the in-game one, not the organized store play), so the group gets sent out to pick them up and try to find the seller.
The story ends with a basic combat encounter which wasn’t too difficult, but thanks to some “amazing” dice rolls the bad guys didn’t take too much damage while the kasatha streamer took quite a beating.

The second adventure had the gorup go out into space for some starship combat! Exciting stuff because that is the brand new thing of the system. Every member of the team gets a job on the ship: captain, engineer, gunner, pilot or science officer. The combat itself is split into three phases: engineering, helm and gunnery. Each role gets to act on a different phase: the captain can take one action per round in any phase he chooses, usually to buff his crew or debuff the enemy.The engineer acts in the engineering phase and can repair your ship or its shields or boost systems like your wepons to make them more efficient. The pilot acts in the Helm Phase. At the beginning of each Helm Phase the pilots of all ships make a Piloting skill check and the lwoest number has to move first, giving an advantage to the others as they can now maneuvewr to be out of its firing arc while setting up their own shots. The science officer also acts during this phase and can do stuff liek scanning the enemy ship to expose its weapons and shields. Finally, in the gunnery phase the gunners do the shooty. What’s important to note is that technically everysthing happens at the same time, so if your gunner depletes all of the enemy ship’s HP (Hull Points) that ship still gets to shoot at you. Only at the end of the round are the effects resolved.

The encounter in the adventure isn’t designed too well, in my opinion. The group’s ship is up against a slow-moving freighter with only weak weaponry on its sides and nothing to shoot backwards. It has a really strong cannon in front which, ideally, it will never get to fire at you. The ship has no shields, but 100 HP and the ship you get for the adventure has weapons that deal 2d4 and 4d4 points of damage on a hit respectively.
In our case the combat ended up taking way too long and being a bit boring. Most of the time people would just do the same actions every round, as the roles don’t have a lot of options for what they can do. And most of the time the enemy freighter didn’t get to do its gunnery phase because the smaller, faster vessel was hiding in its aft firing-arc, where it had no weapons.
I think if I had designed this encounter, I would have completely incapacitated the freighter and given it two small fighter jet type ships as defense. Ideally each ship would go down with a couple well-placed hits and the players would have had to put more thought into their maneuvering to avoid getting pincered by the smaller craft.

Other than that it was a whole lot of fun! I was getting a bit burned out on DnD’s high fantasy, so getting to explore some scifi is just the right diversion to keep my pen and paper adventures fresh.

When All You Have is a Lightsaber

During a Star Wars d6 campaign, my party was asked to take down a Star Destroyer. After our original plan, which would have involved poisoning the air and which I probably put myself on some government watch-lists researching, failed, we were back in our ship discussing Plan B.

Jedi: I still say we just attack it.

Pilot: Oh, right. It’s a Star Destroyer. We’re a cargo ship with no guns. What are you gonna do, stab it in the face with your light saber?

Me(An assassin droid): …Wait. I have an idea. I’M going to stab it in the face with his lightsaber!

I then proceeded to base-jump out of our ship and cut a hole in the Star Destroyer’s bridge, effectively disabling it. The explosive decompression knocked me off, and to this day I’m convinced that the only reason I didn’t fly off into the void of space is because the DM saved me for doing something so insane.

YIIK Development Update!

Hey Guys!

Super sorry we haven’t written on here in a while. I’m going to try and fix that soon. 

Here is the deal: we’re currently developing scenes from the game that are catastrophically spoiling. Stuff that is really exciting and mind blowing compared to what we’ve shown… however, if we show you, that’ll ruin EVERYTHING! 

Here are some updates on all the different aspects of development:

Dungeons: 

So, the game has some pretty cool dungeons. They feel a bit like Wild Arms, a bit like Zelda, and a bit like Final Fantasy IX at times. 

Each Dungeon is bigger than the last, which the first dungeon taking about 48 minutes on average to complete. 

There are five major dungeons, and 3-4 mini dungeons, excluding the Mind Dungeon. 

These are all complete, save for half of one and the final Dungeon, which we are working on now! :D 

We will likely have these all complete by the second week of May. 

Battle:

From there we turn out attention to combat, where we start adding all the party members abilities and animations in! 

Voice Acting: 
So, the game has a pretty massive script. There was something like 30+ hours of recorded audio. We’ve been sifting through the takes, cutting them up, mixing them, mastering them, and getting them in the game. We’d like to have all the audio in the game by the second week of June. 

From June to July, we’ll be working on Boss Battles, and the Mind Dungeon. 

Our goal is to be in beta by the middle of August so we can start testing internally at first, then semi publicly. 

Once we can evaluate the state of polishing required we’ll be able to pick a firm release date and get the game into your hands. 

And that my friends, is how insane people make an RPG in about a year and a half. 

Still loads load to do! WISH US LUUUUUCK!!!

-Andrew

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Earthbound: the prime example of games that do poorly at launch but grew a cult following.  Speaking of cults, the last thing I expected to see in this cheerful Nintendo RPG was a parody of the Klu Klux Klan.  It was at this moment I knew the game was going to get weird.  The reference is not even subtle, even in the censored American version where the added a Santa Claus poof and removed the HH for Happy Happyism.  These creeps want to make the world one pure “color”.  Fortunately, instead of gross racism it’s literally painting the town and it’s folk BLUE…  Thanks?  Bottom line, Insane Cultists are scary whether their in a video game or worse, in real life…

Making a crowd walking eerily was actually fun though, because the true fear of characters like this are their numbers…