insane geniuses

Actual canon facts about Mycroft Holmes:
  • likes cake
  • has his own private cinema/personal movie projector just to reenact that “Fucking Loser At Movie All By Himself” Onion headline in the comfort of his own home
  • has an umbrella that’s also both a sword and a gun even though it’s totally unnecessary
  • owns multiple swords
  • likes to play dress ups
  • asks who said Oscar Wilde quotes just to test who in the room knows their Oscar Wilde (I don’t buy that he didn’t remember who said that if he also so fondly remembers being Lady Bracknell he probably knows the whole play by heart)
  • is a dictator
  • has terrible home security
  • NEVER TURNS ON HIS GODDAMN LIGHTS, EVEN WHEN THERE’S INTRUDERS
  • thinks it’s a good idea to let two criminally insane murderous super-geniuses interact unsupervised
  • uses important surveillance equipment and staff just to watch his siblings go for a walk and eat chips when there could be terrorist attacks about to happen for all he knows
  • is an idiot boy
  • (0/10 not good stable dictator material would not let run my country)
  • (vive la revolution)
  • pretends he has no emotions and is the cleverest man in the world but is actually a great big softy and the dumbest genius I’ve ever seen
  • i love this soft melodramatic dictator he’s my fave 

“There ain’t no devil, only God when he’s drunk.” 

“I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.” 

“We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness.
We are monkeys with money and guns.” 

“Oh, I’m not a percussionist, I just like to hit things.” 

“Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don’t get out much. It’s true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well.”