insane geniuses

Actual canon facts about Mycroft Holmes:
  • likes cake
  • has his own private cinema/personal movie projector just to reenact that “Fucking Loser At Movie All By Himself” Onion headline in the comfort of his own home
  • has an umbrella that’s also both a sword and a gun even though it’s totally unnecessary
  • owns multiple swords
  • likes to play dress ups
  • asks who said Oscar Wilde quotes just to test who in the room knows their Oscar Wilde (I don’t buy that he didn’t remember who said that if he also so fondly remembers being Lady Bracknell he probably knows the whole play by heart)
  • is a dictator
  • has terrible home security
  • NEVER TURNS ON HIS GODDAMN LIGHTS, EVEN WHEN THERE’S INTRUDERS
  • thinks it’s a good idea to let two criminally insane murderous super-geniuses interact unsupervised
  • uses important surveillance equipment and staff just to watch his siblings go for a walk and eat chips when there could be terrorist attacks about to happen for all he knows
  • is an idiot boy
  • (0/10 not good stable dictator material would not let run my country)
  • (vive la revolution)
  • pretends he has no emotions and is the cleverest man in the world but is actually a great big softy and the dumbest genius I’ve ever seen
  • i love this soft melodramatic dictator he’s my fave 

“There ain’t no devil, only God when he’s drunk.” 

“I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.” 

“We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness.
We are monkeys with money and guns.” 

“Oh, I’m not a percussionist, I just like to hit things.” 

“Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don’t get out much. It’s true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well.”

Genetic Karma

“Will you marry me? We’d be so happy together.”

Steve and Tony watched as their daughter propsed to their espresso machine.

Ava was squatted on the floor, her chin propped up on the kitchen counter as she stared lovingly at the machine.

“I love you. I never want anyone else but you…. but you’re a machine. So sad. So sad.”

She was a complete mess: Her hair looked oily, a nest of curls piled on her head, poorly sustained by a large clip. She wore the same band T shirt, as well as the now smudged eyeliner she had worn yesterday.

“Ava?” Tony hesitantly asked.

“Hmm?”

“How long have you been up?”

“Twenty-four hours, ten minutes, and thirty….thirty-five seconds.”

“Finals?” Steve asked Tony.

Tony nodded.

Ava was fifteen years old and already a college freshman. Being a young genius had its difficulties, but she had seemed to be handling the pressure well. Until now, of course. But finals had the power to break even the strongest of people.

“It’s time to go to bed”, Steve commanded, a hint of his former Captain America voice leaking through.

“Okay Papa…"She yawned through her words. “Right after the coffee’s done.”

“It’s not even on.” Tony pointed out.

It took a few moments for her fatigued mind to process his words, but once she did, she started crying. Actually sobbing like she had reverted back to being a small child.

Steve and Tony’s wide-eyed expressions reflected back in each other’s eyes as they looked at one another.

“This is your fault.” Steve flatly stated to his husband.

“Mine!?”

“It’s genetic karma for every all-nighter you’ve ever pulled.”

“I never cried, though.”

“Actually, you did once.”

“Lies! When??”

They snapped their attention back to Ava as her crying began to increase in volume.

“Come on, baby.” Tony took her hand. “Let’s get you in bed.” Steve could still hear her incoherently babbling about coffee even as Tony led her down the hallway.

“Two insane geniuses”, Steve muttered to himself. He shook his head.