insane clouds


Sitting here, nothing.
Thoughts merely even scratching my brain.
I feel my stomach churn.
It’s been like that for days.
I can’t eat properly,
I can’t sleep properly.
I watch something to learn something.
I listen to something to feel something.
So I toss and turn and toss and turn some more
but that just builds to the rapid pace of churning.
I try to think of things to think about.
I look around
illuminated seats,
tilting aircraft,
resounding laughter,
and so finally there it was.
All I needed were clouds (gee, really hope those were clouds)
turbulence, insane panic attack worthy type of turbulence
and a window seat.
Fear •
For a second there my thoughts built up,
this could be it. Goodbye.
My brain felt alive.
I felt an urge to throw up.
I learned, in those few seconds, nope, nope, nope.
So I toss and turn, shift.
And now, as the descend is happening
my lids beg to close.
With just 9 minutes, could you please just let me be?

Theadosia Leeann
August 17, 2016 3:41am
8 lbs 5 oz, 21"

The last few days have been insane. I’m on cloud nine, and I wish I could watch them all like a movie, on loop.

Tuesday night is our small group night, and we had a potluck and kickball game planned. Usually we do our bible study too, but it was just a fun night to get together. I played, much to everyone’s dismay, and scored multiple times. Yes… Kickball put me into labor. We stayed out with our friends and went to froyo after. I wasn’t contracting painfully, but my pelvic bone hurt so badly I could barely walk by the time we got home; D had to lift my ankles and legs into bed and I finally conceded that I may have over done it.

I laid down and had some uncomfortable contractions and finally decided to take a shower to ease my back. I told D I thought I was in labor, but not to sound the alarm and to get some rest. In the shower, my contractions went from 6+ minutes apart to less than 3 minutes apart. I woke him and we called the midwife and our families. We told them to stay put until we knew if the midwifery center would admit us… It was 1:30 am. D and I laughed and joked between contractions and marveled about becoming a family of three.

We got to the center and were informed we were the only patients that night… But epic was down and they had no access to any of my records or results. So, we took it old school and everything was documented on printer paper and a clipboard. We were hooked up to the monitors and checked: 7 cm and contractions about a minute apart. My parents had arrived at this point and I was so happy to see my mom! We got settled into our [beautiful] suite and I hopped right into the shower to labor. D was incredible from the get go… Helping me through each contraction and keeping me so encouraged. After a bit in the shower, I labored on the side of the bed and begged to be checked as they filled the tub: 9.5 cm! I got in the tub and it was literally only 6 inches of tepid water… No one had delivered in the room I was in, so things like water thermometers were still being organized and multiple procedures and whatnot were complete scattered. It was one of the only negatives about our experience.

Eventually the tub was warm and deeper and it was time to push… The pressure was insane and I kept begging for a break. I wish I could brag about how brave and determined I was at this point, but that wasn’t the case! D was sitting on the tub side and holding me up, and although I knew logically there was nothing he could do, the pain was insane and I kept begging him to make it stop. Between contractions I was hiding in the corner of the tub and trying to cross my legs, screaming about how I couldn’t do it. Finally, D started sobbing, seeing me in pain, and it was so motivating to me to end it. I started pushing around 3:30 and after almost 10 minutes, D told me he could see her head with total astonishment. I reached down and could feel the very top of her head… It was the last bit of motivation I needed. On the next contraction, in one push, our girl joined the world from head to toe; I caught her myself. She was loud and beautiful and all ours. She settled in against my chest and D & I had a moment of awe.

The rest of the process I’d like to forget… My midwife was a nightmare and ended up excusing herself from my case. My repairs took hours and they hadn’t received their shipment of pain meds/anesthesia at the new center. My repairs took so long, Thea had to be removed from me and do skin to skin with D. My mom laid with me through it all and tried to keep me distracted and calm while I fell apart. Finally, while literally kicking and screaming, I refused the rest of my repairs. I’m still paying the price on that.

Finally, we were able to lay in our big bed as a family of three and recover and begin to find our new normal. We were brought breakfast and spent all morning marveling over the fact that our baby was finally here and that she was ours. I still well up thinking about how our lives have changed and how overwhelmingly blessed we are.

We left the center at 11:30, just ten hours from my labor beginning. Our small group & families brought us dinner and loved on us all evening– it was a dream.

Long story short, our delivery was incredibly fast and smooth. Recovery was difficult. Thea is perfect.

Magic? (Fantastic Four)

“Okay, what the hell is going on?” You asked as everything around you was floating. “Don’t worry, I can make fire.” Johnny smiled. “Is that supposed to give me comfort?” You asked.

“Just calm down, Y/N. We’ll figure it out.” Susan said as she walked towards you and comforted you. Everything then fell on the ground. “That’s awesome.” Johnny said. “Figure what out?” You asked her.

“I know this is going to sound insane, but the cloud that hit us all, it gave us superhuman abilities.” Susan explained. “And who thought it’d be a great idea to give Johnny fire?” You asked her.

“Someone who loves me.” Johnny said. “I can turn invisible.” Susan said and then showed you. You jumped back in shock. “What the hell…” You whispered.

“What’s my thing?” You asked. “Clearly, it’s magic.” Johnny said. “Magic?” You asked him. “Duh. Only reason that you’d be able to make those thing float.” He said.

“We’ll have to analyze your body to identify how the cloud changed your body.” Susan said.


After a few tests, Reed came back and told you what happened and how drastically the cloud changed your body. “As far as I can tell and there really isn’t much for me to go off from, but I believe you have reality warping powers.” He told you.

“I’m sorry, what?” You asked him. “I didn’t believe it either, but I’ve read into it, and I strongly believe you have reality warping powers.” He told you.

“That’s so cool!” Johnny told you. “What does that exactly mean?” You asked Reed. “It mean that you could create, destroy, change and even alter reality.” He explained.

“Is there anyway to get rid of it?” You asked him. “Not from what I could tell, I’m sorry, Y/N.” He told you. Susan comforted you. “It’ll be okay.” She said.

Johnny hugged you as well. “You’ll be okay.” He told her. “You’re only saying that because I can make you disappear with just the snap of my fingers.” You smiled at him.

“Yeah, that and you’re my sister.” He told you.