insane clients

BTS Reaction - Their gf gets clingy when she’s sleepy

Anonymous said: I was wondering if you could do a bts reaction where you get really clingy when you’re sleepy? Thank you in advance 🌌💚

SO MUCH FLUFFFFF

Suga:

When Yoongi wants to sleep, he just wants to sleep. So when it’s late, and the two of you are sitting on the couch watching a movie that completely disinterests you, you’re hoping it just ends so you can sleep already.

“Yoongi,” you say as he intently watches the movie, where bombs are going off and men are shouting. You tug on his shirt and move your body closer to him, so your cheek is pressed against his shoulder. Making a face, it’s not close enough for you, so you climb onto his lap and rest your head on his shoulder while wrapping your arms around his waist.

Yoongi just makes a face, “Really, Y/N.” But when you don’t move, he just sighs and turns the movie off before bringing you upstairs. You don’t even waste time being apart from him, because as soon as he lies down you’re clinging to him again.

Namjoon:

He knew how you got when you were sleepy, so when you had accompanied your boyfriend to the studio one day and ended up staying there late into the night, you couldn’t help yourself. Laying on the couch in the studio, you sat there on your phone, trying not to be annoying while Namjoon continued to write lyrics and mess with the soundboard.

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore. You got up and walked behind him, your head resting on his shoulder. “Namjoon,” you whispered, your lips against his neck but your eyes closed, already half asleep. “I’m sleepy,” you said, louder. 

“Baby, you know I’m trying to -” He began, but seeing as you weren’t going to move unless he came with you, Namjoon sighed before standing up and taking you into his warm embrace, where he dragged you to the car and drove home where you clung to him even more.

J-Hope:

It was 5 AM - and you just weren’t having it. After a long day the night before, you couldn’t believe you had agreed to come with Hoseok to the studio this morning. You had been putting it off because of how early he had to go in and practice, and he was beginning to nag you about it.

“Hoseok,” you drawled, grabbing onto the back of his sweatshirt as he walked down the hallway of the dimly lit company building. You caught him by surprise, and he slowed down to wrap an arm around your shoulders as you involuntarily dragged your feet down the carpet. 

“Wake up,” your boyfriend said, laughing as you tripped over your own two feet. You just grappled at his hoodie again, breathing in his scent and then automatically wrapping your arms around his waist. “Aish, Y/N, I have to go practice…”

Jungkook:

“Y/N, I gotta go get something,” Jungkook said, detaching himself from your grip as you clung to him like a koala to a tree. He jogged down the hallway, looking back to laugh at your annoyed, sleepy face. 

You wouldn’t let him get away from you that easily, so you shuffled after him and slammed right into his back, burying your face in the soft fabric of his t-shirt. You heard him laugh again, this time an arm coming back to drape over your shoulders.

“Hey,” you began to say as he pulled you closer to him, sure he would abandon you like he did a few weeks ago, but as he dragged you down the hallway with him to the waiting room, you felt his lips press themselves firmly against your forehead. “Why are you so sleepy, baby?” He murmured.

Taehyung:

You flopped onto the couch as soon as you walked in the door, shoes and all. The day you had was insane - meetings and clients and too much standing wore you out completely. Taehyung just looked at you with a small smile playing on his lips, his eyes cast downwards to your tired face.

“Today was the worst,” you said, slipping your heels off and curling up against your boyfriend, who was watching We Got Married on the television. “Oh, yeah? Wanna tell me about it?” He responded, focused on the TV. Your hand went up to curl around his neck, and you pulled yourself up so your body was pushed against his chest.

“I guess not,” he laughed, turning his head to kiss your cheek as you drifted off, and you felt his hand come up and rub your back while he continued to watch his show.

Jin:

He continued to let out his windshield laugh as you clung to him like a teddy bear. It was 6 AM, and you swear you were more tired than you had ever been in your life that morning. Combined with the other early starts you were beginning to hat, the effects of sleep hadn’t wore off yet in the slightest.

“Jagi, come on,” Jin would laugh, lifting his arms to show the other boys how clingy you were being. You heard him say, “She gets like this when it’s early.” Your boyfriend would look down at you, your head hung as your eyes remained closed. 

He would pull you towards the couch, and sit down with you in his lap. “Just go without me, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He explained waving the other boys off as his attention was finally focused on you. “I don’t want you to leave, you’re nice and warm,” you mumbled, borrowing into his chest. “Aish…”

Jimin:

Poor Jimin, you’d be clinging to him so badly. It would be in the middle of the day, but you had been tossing and turning all night the night before because you kept waking up.  He’d beg you to just let him go to the bathroom for five minutes, but you just kept clinging to him.

Your hand would have his shirt in between your fists and your face would be buried in his neck, while his arms snaked around you. His hands would rub your back while you hid against him, and he just casually talked to the other boys while you held onto your boyfriend.

“Y/N…come on, I think its time for you to lay down.” Jimin would say quietly, walking you to the sofa where he’d pull a blanket up to your chin. Right as he was about to leave the room, your hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. “Y/N,” he sighed, coming back towards you and eventually giving in, where he lied down next to you. Your noses were touching as you drifted off, his hand gently rubbing your back.

Closer.

Summary: An after-hunt drinking session leads to a secret about your past being revealed.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Warnings: Unprotected smut, ex-stripper reader, strip tease, lap dance, teasing, slight possessive!Dean.

A/N: I wrote this for a requested prompt sent by @feelmyroarrrr “What did you expect would happen?”. I hope you don’t mind the stripper reader aspect. Please let me know what you think! Beta’d by @mysaintsasinner and @lipstickandwhiskey. Thanks, babes! 💜 

Originally posted by frozen-delight


Your new iPod dock was definitely necessary after the last hunt. The boys had dragged a couple of library chairs into your room, along with a couple of bottles of whiskey. With a long playlist set up, and alcohol in your veins, relaxation was slowly washing over you.

Half a bottle under his belt was all Sam needed to turn in for the night. For such an enormous guy, he was a lightweight.

You were a remarkably happy drunk. You were always in control of your actions, even if they had more freedom without your inhibitions in the way. Your words, not so much. You shouldn’t have been surprised that you let a secret slip.

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deejieouija  asked:

You have a lot of work/work-attire selfies so I'm curious as to what you do for a living?

I’m a CPA. I currently work slightly over 40 hours a week doing industry accounting for a medical company.

All of 2016 I worked for a public accounting firm, doing tax and audit work for clients, working insane hours at a salary rate comparable to what I make now at less hours and less stress (difference is I now have 0 advancement opportunities)

  • Rabastan Lestrange: What are you doing out there?!
  • Barty Crouch, Jr.: You know I have a problem with dishonesty!
  • Rabastan Lestrange: You’re on trial for cheating! ……Okay, look, we’ll be fine. I just have to go back out there and make the case that you’re a GOOD person—
  • Barty Crouch, Jr.: You don’t know that! You’re just doing all of this ‘cause you want to sleep with me! I mean, you said it yourself, you don’t even wanna BE my friend!
  • Rabastan Lestrange: …Wait a minute. Is that what you thought I meant? Barty, look at me. Look how handsome my FACE is. If all I wanted was sex, I could get it from plenty of people without having to go through all this CRAP. I’m here because I like you, and I… I’d be psyched to be your friend.
  • Rabastan Lestrange: I just didn’t want to take sex off of the table without doing my due diligence.
  • Barty Crouch, Jr.: …………I actually believe you.
  • Rabastan Lestrange: Well, why WOULDN’T you?!
  • Barty Crouch, Jr.: I don’t know! I guess, the same reason that I cheated! I guess I just have more experience being worthless. I think I left that crib sheet on the floor because I *wanted* to get caught. I’m so used to screwing everything up, I just wanted to get it over with!
  • Rabastan Lestrange: Wait! Wait…… I think we have our defense. [in front of the tribunal of professors] Gentlemen? My client is insane.
  • Barty Crouch, Jr.: WHAT.

meme of domesticity: pezberry [asked by some people; an out of control 2k words]

who is the big spoon/little spoon

“Stop it.”

“But my feet are cold.”

“Well now my feet are cold.”

They fall asleep on opposite sides of the bed.

Santana wakes up with her arm trapped under Rachel’s neck and Rachel’s hair in her mouth. Rachel wakes up with her leg wrapped around Santana’s thigh and Santana’s mouth doing that thing to her neck that makes the first thing she says for the day not really a word so much as an unintelligible sound.

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Ratio Scripta

(Written Reason)

There is a punch line to this ranting at the end.

First thing this Monday morning, I got a call from a client who has two cases with the firm.  I was assigned his cases about 6 months ago, and they were an absolute mess.  Apparently the people who had them before just sat on them and did nothing for 4 years.  They didn’t even respond to discovery.  Sadly, he was not the only case I got in this condition.  I was assigned 50 similar cases where nothing happened for 2-4 years.  Malpractice anyone?

It took me three months but I managed to get everything in order and moving forward.  For this client, we managed to settle his case for a decent sum and ensure that he has lifetime medical care.  It was everything he wanted 3 years after he asked.  As for his other claim…

For some reason it’s assigned to our litigation department even though it’s not in lit.  (I don’t choose the clients nor do I make the assignments.) Whatever, it’s not like non-lit is hard just time consuming.  His initial complaint was to one part of the body but as soon as his first case settles he starts complaining of other issues to a different part of his body.

It takes me three days but I get him an approved doctor and an appointment to take place 15 days after his request.  He goes to see the doctor and doesn’t mention the injury.  I get him a second visit which was Monday morning, I make sure the nurse case manager knows to bring up the new injury.  The client calls me right after saying the doctor advised surgery on the new injury.

Then the client begins to snap at me saying I haven’t done anything on the case for two years and wants to know the details of my conversations with opposing counsel.  I explain to him that I haven’t had the case that long and that much of the negotiation was done by his former attorney meaning that I was not privy to those conversations.  I only know what’s in the paperwork, and what he’s told me.  He beings to call me a liar because he’s been dealing with me for 4 years now.  I explain to him that it was not me; I have not been with the firm that long.  Again, he calls me a liar then wants to know how long it will take to get surgery.  I explain that I can not give him an estimate because I don’t yet know opposing counsel’s assessment and whether they will accept the surgery or if we will have to file papers to compel them to give him the surgery and the system is so back logged that decisions aren’t being made for 6-8 months.  He says that’s ridiculous and that it shouldn’t take so long or be so complicated.  Yes, it shouldn’t take so long, but that’s how the system works.  In the meantime, I would file paperwork and request information from the doctor which I did later that day.  He hung up before I could any further info and called my boss.

My boss then sent out a nasty memo that I was not to speak to the client until I had his claim in better condition and that the men would be handling this from here on out.  (He’s a douche.)  He courtesy copied all the male attorneys in the firm on the memo (there’s only 2.)

I just got a response back from the doctor my client had the appointment with on Monday.  They said client was a no-show.

Yays!

My insane, narcotic-addicted, Pentecostal, likes to breakout into tongues, suicidal client took Defendant’s offer only hours before trial was to start!  Yays!  Now I won’t have her very likely, forth coming death by her own hands on my conscious.  And neither will Obama as he is no longer denying her Social Security Disability claim (she wrote him all personal like, and he had the White House Public Affairs Committee intercede – fun day, funner phone call).  So, yays all around.

Ah, it’s good to breathe again.

Now to deal with my inbred who is upset that his trial date is on Friday the 13th (my bad), and my thrice convicted of perjury client who is no longer stabbing himself in the face with a fork but has chosen instead the less bloody path of just laying on the floor and flailing about the room until he punches a hole in the wall.  Yays!

 Why do all the crazies get assigned to me?

Mancy?
  • Client: Hey ya, Nycol. I called 'cause I'm havin' trouble with this here social security. They say I'm gettin' work comp benefits, and I ain't never gotten none ah them. So they's want the-- whad they call it? Carrier info.
  • Me: Sure. Do you have paper and pen ready?
  • Client: Will a pencil do?
  • Me: Yep. It's C, N as in Nancy--
  • Client: Woah, woah, hold up. C?
  • Me: Yes, C, N as in Nancy.
  • Client: N as in Mancy?
  • Me: Nancy.
  • Client: Okay so C.
  • Me: N
  • Client: M or N?
  • Me: N as in no or never.
  • Client: Moe? Oh, N!
  • Me: Yes, then A
  • Client: A?
  • Me: Yes.
  • Client: A?
  • Me: Yes A. Insurance.
  • Client: Oh, hold up now. (long pause) Okay.
  • Me: P-O-Box
  • Client: P.
  • Me: O.
  • Client: uh-huh.
  • Me: Box #####
  • Client: Box #####. Alright, well that's all I needed.
  • Me: No wait, sir. You'll want the city and state.
  • Client: I will?
  • Me: Yes, I'm certain they'll want that.
  • Client: Okay, if you say so.
  • Me: City, State
  • Client: City, State
  • Me: and the zip is 3-0-3-7-4.
  • Client: 3-0?
  • Me: Yeah, 3-7-4.
  • Client: 3-0?
  • Me: 3-7-4.
  • Client: 3-0 and then?
  • Me: 3-7-4.
  • Client: 3?
  • Me: 7-4.
  • Client: 7-4?
  • Me: Yes.
  • Client: Is that all of it?
  • Me: Yes.
  • Client: Alright well that's all I needed.
  • Me: Okay. Bye.