insae

Tudor Chirila - Scrisoare catre liceeni

,, Noi am pierdut. Dar voi, voi mai aveti o sansa. Noi am fost fericiti ca am descoperit Coca-cola si bananele si am crezut ca daca noi citim, si ei vor citi. Si ca toti vom progresa si tara o sa aiba scapare. Noi ne-am inselat. Unii dintre noi au plecat de aici. Castiga bani acolo si tanjesc dupa orasul asta imputit. Voi insa, voi aveti o sansa. Voi, aveti sansa.

Nu va ganditi la furat. E calea cea mai simpla. Stiu ca ati aflat ca asa te imbogatesti. Daca ai pamant sau daca faci afaceri cu statul. Stiti voi ceva despre tva si cum ai putea sa-l furi, dar nu va e inca foarte clar. Nu asta e drumul. Cu cat se va fura mai mult, cu atat se va construi mai putin, iar copiii copiilor nostri vor mosteni un imperiu de cenusa. Sunteti tineri si totusi habar n-aveti ce inseamna un Bucuresti in care se circula normal. Daca voi habar n-aveti si daca Ei continua sa fure, ganditi-va la copiii nostri. Nu e nici o sansa.

Cititi. Cititi mult. Cititi tot ce va pica in mana. Nu-i mai ascultati doar pe profesori. Cititi orice, fara discernamant. Nimic nu e mai important ca lectura, acum. Apoi, cautati-va intre voi. Vedeti care cititi aceleasi lucruri si inhaitati-va. Numai in haita de oameni destepti o sa reusiti. Unul singur dintre voi va fi mancat. Zece insa, s-ar putea sa reusiti. Ganditi-va de pe acum sa-i inlocuiti. Timpul lor trebuie sa se termine. Trebuie sa-i dominati. Dar nu cu gandul ca veti fura mai mult ca ei. Asta e calea simpla care va va sufoca mostenitorii. Ce-o sa faceti cu milioanele intr-un oras mort? Ce-o sa cumparati, cu banii gramezi? La ce-ti foloseste un Lamborghini cand n-ai o autostrada? De ce sa ai o vila intr-un cartier sufocat de inundatii?

Nu va dusmaniti profesorii. Sunt oameni amarati, din ale caror drame puteti invata. Isi dau priceperea pe un salariu de nimic si va invata carte. Nu va bateti joc de ei. Au muncit, si nu e vina lor ca parintii vostri s-au descurcat mai bine. N-aveti nici un drept sa-i dispretuiti. Nu le sunteti superiori. Banii parintilor vostri nu va reprezinta. Va reprezinta doar ceea ce puteti scoate pe gura. Aveti grija ce scoateti pe gura. Vremea pumnului si a bodiguarzilor a trecut. O sa calatoriti, iar copiii francezi invata carte, englezii la fel. Va confruntati cu o lume care acum e mai deschisa decat oricand. Hotii de la putere nu sunt in stare sa va spuna cine este Delacroix sau Chagall. Nici Duchamp. Nu va pot spune care e influenta lui Schopenhauer in Sarmanul Dionis si nici de ce este Eminescu un romantic intarziat. Foarte putini o sa va spuna cine a pictat Cina cea de taina si de ce Visconti a ales romanul lui Thomas Mann ca sa faca un mare film. Ei vor sti doar sa va invete sa furati. Iar calea asta, mai devreme sau mai tarziu, se va infunda si ne va asfixia copiii.

Nu va mai luati dupa ziare. Nu dau doi bani pe generatia voastra, nu va dati seama? Pentru ei, cu cat sunteti mai prosti, cu atat le va fi mai usor sa va vanda orice cacat. Iar cacatul pe care il veti cumpara va fi obtinut de la prosti, platiti pe masura. Adica prost. Eleva porno este un exemplu. Nu cititi ziarele. Cititi cateva, cele care va informeaza. Nu marsati la orice promotie. Fiti mai selectivi.

Nu fumati iarba si nu va dati in cap cu alcool, cu orice pret. O sa le dati apa la moara incultilor si hotilor de la putere. Le va fi mai simplu sa va catalogheze drept o generatie de distrusi, iar banii destinati salvarii voastre, ii vor fura. E timp si pentru iarba, e timp si pentru tequilla. Acum insa trebuie sa invatati, pentru ca in curand nu va mai fi timp pentru asta, caci veti intra in viata adanc de tot, si e mai rau ca in jungla. Animalele au reguli nescrise. Oamenii au legi scrise.

Nu alergati dupa bani cu orice pret. Banii trebuie sa va fie doar mijloc, nu scop. Scopul vostru trebuie sa fie cunoasterea. Cu cat veti sti mai multe, cu atat veti fi mai inalti. Orice carte citita, orice lectie invatata, se vor aseza sub voi si va vor ridica deasupra celorlalti. Veti domina cu mintea. Nu e nimic mai frumos decat asta. Europa cumpara inteligenta. Romania nu cumpara nimic pentru ca hotii nu construiesc, hotii fura. Nu uitati ca va fura pe voi si asta trebuie sa va opreasca. O sa auziti toata viata de Napoleon si de Nicolae Titulescu, dar sigur copiii vostri nu vor sti cine a fost Emil Boc. Istoria o scriu cei care construiesc.

Sunteti tineri. Nu va ganditi ca sunteti slabi. Puterea voastra sta in curatenie. Sunteti curati, n-au apucat sa va manjeasca, dar daca dintre voi nu se vor ridica luptatorii, o sa va improaste cu noroiul strazilor pe care nu le-au reparat. Fiecare picatura de noroi sunt banii care n-au ajuns pe strada aia. Trebuie sa schimbati asta. Care e calea? Sa cititi. Literatura universala o sa va invete sa deosebiti Binele de Rau. Balzac, Stendhal, Dumas, Dostoievski, Dickens, Tolstoi, Goethe, toti deosebesc Binele de Rau. Din prezentul amaratei asteia de tari nu puteti invata Binele. Binele puteti fi voi. Si cu cat veti fi mai multi buni, cu atat veti sufoca raul. Nu e imposibil. Dati scrisoarea asta mai departe. Deveniti buni, mai buni, cei mai buni si raspanditi-va precum lacustele.

Nu-i invidiati pe oamenii cu bani. Nu va faceti modele din baietii de bani gata, din baietii de oras. Dupa treizeci si noua de ani le va ramane doar o lista lunga de femei. Or trofeele astea sunt trecatoare. Cand imbatranesti si trofeul tau va fi o baba. Dupa asta vine singuratatea. Voi aveti sansa sa lasati ceva in urma voastra. Banii nu sunt Calea. Priviti unde ne-a adus setea de bani.

Nu va resemnati, asta nu duce nicaieri. Capul plecat, sabia il taie. Protestati, luptati, protestati. Cu scop, insa. Nu degeaba, ca altfel se transforma in latrat. Invatati legile. Invatati-va drepturile. Atunci veti sti cand are cineva voie sa va legitimeze. Veti sti cum sa luptati, daca veti sti legile. Apoi o sa vedeti ca legile sunt proaste. Si veti intelege ca trebuie sa le schimbati. Pare greu si cere timp. Dar, Doamne, voi aveti timp si pentru voi nimic nu e greu. Voi nu intelegeti ca SUNTETI SCHIMBAREA? Daca voi lasati tara asta pe mana hotilor, atunci, de-abia copii vostri vor mai avea o sansa! Caci sansa vine o data la o generatie. Noi am pierdut. Cativa dintre noi, si nu suntem putini, va putem ajuta. Noi suntem Fomila si Setila, dar voi sunteti Harap-Alb. Alegeti dintre voi pe adevaratii lideri. Sa-i alegeti si sa nu-i invidiati. Lor le va fi cel mai greu. Vor avea gloria, dar si cosmarul. Vor fi salvatorii vostri, dar se vor pierde pe ei insisi. Liderii trebuie sa fie dintre voi. Si trebuie sa-i cautati de pe acum. Uitati-va unii la altii in fiecare zi si cautati-va capitanii. Altfel veti pieri o data cu noi. Si atunci portile libertatii ne vor fi inchise si EI vor castiga. Cine sunt ei? Stiti foarte bine. Ii vedeti in ziare, in fiecare zi.

Salvati-va! Salvati-ne! Este o singura cale! Lupta cunoasterii!! Si cand veti fi castigat lupta cunoasterii, de-abia atunci veti cunoaste sa luptati cu adevarat!!!

Nu va amagiti cu prezentul… Salvati-va in viitor. Noi am pierdut. Voi? Ce faceti?”

Hei, tu. Nu ești urâtă. Ești frumoasă.
Okay, nu ai forme spectaculoase. Dar cu ce ajută aceste forme? In timp aceste forme vor dispărea, iar tu, cea care te crezi urâtă îți vei da seama ca mai bine nu ai fost fata aia cu forme superbe, ci fata cu sufletul superb.
La ce te ajuta formele ? La nimic. Okay, okay, cucerești 2-3 băieți care oricum stau cu tine doar pentru respectivele forme.
Insa, daca ai suflet (nu țâțe, ci inima) vei vedea ca vei atrage băieți care te iubesc pentru ceea ce ești, băieți cu suflet, la fel ca tine, ci nu labagii care stau cu tine pentru una, alta.
Daca as fi băiat, as alege o fata micuța, timida, zambitoare, cu ochii stralucitori; nu as alege fata care sta cu baietii si fumeaza, cu zambetul pana la urechi.
Esti frumoasa. Stii de ce?
Esti frumoasa pentru ca inca iti pasa de el, chiar daca si-a batut joc de tine. Esti frumoasa pentru ca zambesti, iar daca nu o faci, te rog sa o faci mai des. Esti frumoasa pentru ca ai un suflet frumos. Esti frumoasa pentru ca esti empatica, sufletista. Esti frumoasa pentru ca asa esti tu. Nu esti urata. Esti frumoasa. Iar cineva, intr-o zi o sa te iubeasca pentru cine esti, nu pentru felul in care arati. Iubirea adevarata exista, trebuie doar sa ai rabdare sa o intalnesti.
Nu stiu ce ai inteles din tot ce am scris, dar sper ca ai inteles cat esti de frumoasa, daca ai citit pana aici te rog din toata inima sa dai repost, ca sa vada si celelalte fete cat de frumoase sunt. Multumesc!
college boyfriend!minhyuk

Originally posted by wonhontology

  • man have ya’ll ever met a human puppy cause this!! ^^^ is it
  • for the boyfriend!minhyuk request~
  • literally everything screams boyfriend to me about minhyuk
  • try and tell me he wouldn’t be the sweetest thing since peach cobbler (i sound so texan when i say that)
  • okay, okay, okay, so minhyuk, this angel is an RA

Keep reading

Void - Part 2

Characters: Johnny x y/n
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1,464

part 1 Part 2 part 3

A/N:  I am so sorry for the delay, guys. But you all must know how hard school is. Anyway, I tried my best to come up with something which doesn’t disappoint any of you. You all looked forward to it so much, the last thing I could do was write something disappointing. Criticisms are most, most, most welcome. Please lemme know how you feel of it. 

And, while writing this I was listening to my UB’s beautiful song, I hope he brought out the best in me.

Love,
Admin Ayu ♥

“Y/n, I love you to the point I can’t function and process things properly when I think of you. You’re all I think about, and loving you has taught me to care about so many other things I never even found important. I love you so much it – it numbs me…” he sniffed by the end of the sentence, not being able to look you in the eyes, “If you give me one chance to make you happy, I swear to keep you the happiest, and never ever hurt you, ever. I love you, y/n” he took your hand in his large, trembling ones. His tears fell on the back of your hands, and you looked up at him, your senses filled with awe and admiration, and mostly love.

   “You fill the void in my heart with love and hope.”

   And, you had left everything for him. Your job, your home, your town, your family and friends; everything. All the sacrifices you had made back then didn’t feel so at all, since you were in love him. However, you were at a point in your life where you had already left behind so many things, that you could care less, very less.

  Shortly after he left you, you applied for a visa to Paris. You had always dreamed of settling down in the city which itself was the most beautiful embodiment of art and love in your eyes. However, you had never thought the time would come so fast, you had never thought that circumstances will force you to adapt to an environment you were planning to embrace when you were much older, in the arms of your just-as-old significant other.

  But you had to, all by yourself, leaving your 10-month-old baby at Johnny’s doorsteps. The fact that you had exhibited the vilest of all cowardice was a fact not left unknown to you. But you couldn’t process properly, couldn’t stop your head from dizzying furiously around your own little world whenever anything that could even merely indicate to him came around. Your little daughter was no less than a personification of the love you two once shared, or at the very least the love you had for him.

  So one bright morning, you gently placed your sleeping daughter at his doorstep, with only a letter and a bank account number from which he would receive some money every month for your daughter’s expense.

  And you left.

  Paris was a beautiful city, a wonderful place to live in. Your love for art had reincarnated, which was overshadowed by your love for him for what it felt like ages. It offered you with the love you thought that none but only living beings could offer. When you went to Paris where even walls screamed creativity and art, it seemed to you as if all the emotions ever felt in heavens and on earth were gathered in that one city, and you could finally belittle your own sorrow.

  Six years flew by and you turned thirty-five. You had managed to make new friends but no one gave you the feeling you had left behind, the love of a family. You wanted to see your daughter, who was to turn seven in two months. For her sake you had kept in touch with him through letters and he told you everything there was to know. You knew every little detail of her, and you were glad to know that his wife was fulfilling all her roles a mother usually does, quite willingly.

  She loves our daughter as her own, y/n. Only if you could get to see the bond they share, I’m sure you’d have asked for nothing more in life.

  Her eyes are just like yours, her smile and her frown are yours too. She is so beautiful, and when she says my name in answer to people’s inspection of her father, she sounds just like you.

  I realised something recently, her birthmark is also beneath her navel! She’s just a younger version of you, y/n.

  Somewhere in between the exchange of such mails you grew to love him more, and you detested that grow within you. The years you spent in Paris, you spent them expecting to fall in love with someone, but that never really happened. You couldn’t find anyone you could give your heart to the way you had surrendered it to Johnny, and the love you felt so greatly for him prior to your new life had influenced all other loves you could feel. None of them came to you as feverishly as your love for Johnny had. So, you never felt enough zeal or fortitude to infuse in the thriving quest to pursue any of them.

  However, his letters could also influence you to a good point, almost just as well as he himself used to. So after a month or two of your birthday, you took out a small luggage from the back of your cupboard, selecting the necessary commodities and clothes with caution for a week of stay. You were not planning to do much. Just meet some old friends, your old boss and colleagues, the loving neighbours you had when you were a Mrs. Suh, and take a look at your daughter from afar.

The fifteen-hour-journey had left you jetlagged, but your heart thumped hard against your chest as you took in the view of Seoul from your hotel room. You had a smile stretching your lips, though quite uncertain of how to label it. Because you couldn’t deny the glee, nor could you totally diminish the poignancy in your heart.

  Before you knew it the day of your departure had arrived. The flight was due an hour before midnight, so you had the day to yourself. As planned, you went to the park where your daughter played every Sunday.

  You were wearing a snapback, your hair tied up, a muffler wrapped around your neck covering the lower half of your face. You discreetly stood behind a tree, and it took you less than a minute to spot your daughter among the kids. ‘Oh lord…’ you thought to yourself, ‘She looks even more like me up close.’ The photos surely did a poor job to highlight the resemblance she held to you.

  You silently shed tears with a proud smile as you observed your daughter. She was a lively child with the brightest smile, her heart open to experimenting new things and welcoming new kids and befriending them. She bonded well with everyone around, and to your delight, everyone received her just as well. While taking the pleasure of seeing your daughter, you kept an eye out for Johnny and his wife, who were supposed to be at the nearby church.

  However, surprises come to you from where you least expect it.

  “I thought I’d never see you again.” You heard Johnny’s voice say from behind you, your shoulders jerking to the presence you didn’t wish for, “Welcome back to Seoul, y/n.”

  You wanted to turn around to see his face for once, up close. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to do so any longer. So you turned your head a little to the side, whispering an apology and a goodbye; before closing your eyes and running to the car your had borrowed, getting in it in a hurry and driving away.


You wiped your last tears as you sipped your third cup of coffee, rereading Johnny’s letter for the umpteenth time. A week after your return to Paris, you received his letter and took it to your favourite café by Seine River, Cojean Louvre.

Y/n, I won’t blame you for running away from me. I do realise it must have been hard for you to have found me when that is probably the last thing you wanted on your visit. It’s okay, don’t feel bad about having bailed on me so harshly. I just hope you find love, I really do. I hope someone fills the void in your heart with love and hope, too.

 

  “I just hope you find love, I really do.”
  “I hope someone fills the void in your heart with love and hope, too.

 

  His kindness was driving you to an extreme point of insanity, and the only way to return from it was to invest yourself in what you loved the most. In your head, you had already started putting colours together in a beautiful harmony, thinking of how to spill them on your white canvas later on. However, before your trail of thoughts could set a proper and aligned order to satisfy you, the man who was occupying the table behind yours spoke up in Korean;

  “Coffee is not very good for your health, why don’t you try some strawberry shake?”



P. S - Who do you think he was? ;)
         Lemme know~

Avem timp  - Octavian Paler

Avem timp pentru toate.
Sa dormim, sa alergam in dreapta si-n stanga,
sa regretam c-am gresit si sa gresim din nou,
sa-i judecam pe altii si sa ne absolvim pe noi insine,
avem timp sa citim si sa scriem,
sa corectam ce-am scris, sa regretam ce-am scris,
avem timp sa facem proiecte si sa nu le respectam,
avem timp sa ne facem iluzii si sa rascolim prin cenusa lor mai tarziu.
Avem timp pentru ambitii si boli,
sa invinovatim destinul si amanuntele,
avem timp sa privim norii, reclamele sau un accident oarecare,
avem timp sa ne-alungam intrebarile, sa amanam raspunsurile,
avem timp sa sfaramam un vis si sa-l reinventam,
avem timp sa ne facem prieteni, sa-i pierdem,
avem timp sa primim lectii si sa le uitam dupa-aceea,
avem timp sa primim daruri si sa nu le-ntelegem.
Avem timp pentru toate.
Nu e timp doar pentru putina tandrete.
Cand sa facem si asta - murim.
Am invatat unele lucruri in viata pe care vi le impartasesc si voua !!
Am invatat ca nu poti face pe cineva sa te iubeasca
Tot ce poti face este sa fii o persoana iubita.
Restul … depinde de ceilalti.
Am invatat ca oricat mi-ar pasa mie
Altora s-ar putea sa nu le pase.

Am invatat ca dureaza ani sa castigi incredere
Si ca doar in cateva secunde poti sa o pierzi

Am invatat ca nu conteaza CE ai in viata
Ci PE CINE ai.

Am invatat ca te descurci si ti-e de folos farmecul cca 15 minute
Dupa aceea, insa, ar fi bine sa stii ceva.
Am invatat ca nu trebuie sa te compari cu ceea ce pot altii mai bine sa faca
Ci cu ceea ce poti tu sa faci
Am invatat ca nu conteaza ce li se intampla oamenilor
Ci conteaza ceea ce pot eu sa fac pentru a rezolva
Am invatat ca oricum ai taia
Orice lucru are doua feţe
Am invatat ca trebuie sa te desparti de cei dragi cu cuvinte calde
S-ar putea sa fie ultima oara cand ii vezi

Am invatat ca poti continua inca mult timp
Dupa ce ai spus ca nu mai poti
Am invatat ca eroi sunt cei care fac ce trebuie, cand trebuie
Indiferent de consecinte
Am invatat ca sunt oameni care te iubesc
Dar nu stiu s-o arate
Am invatat ca atunci cand sunt suparat am DREPTUL sa fiu suparat
Dar nu am dreptul sa fiu si rau

Am invatat ca prietenia adevarata continua sa existe chiar si la distanta
Iar asta este valabil si pentru iubirea adevarata
Am invatat ca, daca cineva nu te iubeste cum ai vrea tu
Nu inseamna ca nu te iubeste din tot sufletul.
Am invatat ca indiferent cat de bun iti este un prieten
Oricum te va rani din cand in cand

Iar tu trebuie sa-l ierti pentru asta.
Am invatat ca nu este intotdeauna de ajuns sa fii iertat de altii
Cateodata trebuie sa inveti sa te ierti pe tine insuti

Am invatat ca indiferent cat de mult suferi,
Lumea nu se va opri in loc pentru durerea ta.
Am invatat ca trecutul si circumstantele ti-ar putea influenta
personalitatea
Dar ca TU esti responsabil pentru ceea ce devii
Am invatat ca, daca doi oameni se cearta, nu inseamna ca nu se iubesc
Si nici faptul ca nu se cearta nu dovedeste ca se iubesc.
Am invatat ca uneori trebuie sa pui persoana pe primul loc
Si nu faptele sale
Am invatat ca doi oameni pot privi acelasi lucru
Si pot vedea ceva total diferit
Am invatat ca indiferent de consecinte
Cei care sunt cinstiti cu ei insisi ajung mai departe in viata
Am invatat ca viata iti poate fi schimbata in cateva ore
De catre oameni care nici nu te cunosc.

Am invatat ca si atunci cand crezi ca nu mai ai nimic de dat
Cand te striga un prieten vei gasi puterea de a-l ajuta.
Am invatat ca scrisul
Ca si vorbitul
Poate linisti durerile sufletesti

Am invatat ca oamenii la care tii cel mai mult
Iti sunt luati prea repede …

Am invatat ca este prea greu sa-ti dai seama
Unde sa tragi linie intre a fi amabil, a nu rani oamenii si a-ti sustine parerile.
Am invatat sa iubesc
Ca sa pot sa fiu iubit.

TRAIM INTR-O TARA LIBERA.
E tara unde daca stai prea mult cu un prieten devii “pe invers”,
Tara unde daca te imbraci in negru si-ti place negrul esti satanist,
Tara in care daca esti ateu esti satanist,
Tara unde copiii sunt educati cu bataia in numele “Domnului” pentru ca “bataia e rupta din rai”,
Tara unde nu ai voie sa contrazici profesorul fie ca greseste sau nu,
Tara in care contezi in functie de numarul de prieteni de pe facebook si numarul de urmaritori de pe instagram,
Tara unde copiii talentati nu au vreo posibilitate de-a se dezvolta, iar cei ce au nu o fac,
Tara unde biserica se impotriveste cunoasterii,
Tara unde se pune pret pe lucruri, nu pe oameni,
Tara unde inveti orice, insa nu ce ai nevoie,
Tara unde omul ca identitate nu exista,
Tara unde copiii trebuie sa taca in familie si se razbuna pe cei din jur,
Tara unde prea putini oameni gandesc,
Tara unde angajatii statului ne privesc de sus desi ei lucreaza pentru noi si sunt platiti de noi,
Tara unde oricine mai cu scoala isi permite arogante cu restul si pe buna dreptate, pentru ca oamenii trateaza asa de superficial scoala incat oricine a invatat mai mult isi poate lua grade,
Tara unde oamenii sunt ori foarte ocupati, ori nu fac nimic,
Tara unde cuvantul “pomana” e rostit cu zambetul pe buze si cu mandrie ca a “scos ceva de la stat” pe degeaba,
Tara unde batranii in loc sa-si traiasca batranetea linistiti, ei isi fac griji sa stranga bani de inmormantare pentru ca vorba lor.. Copiii vor spune ca nu le-a lasat nimic si mai trebuie sa-i ingroapa si pe bani lor de parca nu le-ar fi dat viata,
Tara unde conteaza cat esti de frumos, nu faptul ca esti prost,
Tara unde toata lumea merge pe principiul “sunt oameni cu doctorat fara loc de munca, ce rezolv eu daca iau bacul?”
Tara unde oamenii nu-si cunosc propria limba, nu cunosc muzica buna si nu cunosc ce-i aia o carte,
Tara unde oamenii prefera berea si destrabalarea la 4 dimineata in club decat cursurile de dimineata.
E o tara proasta, dar e libera oameni buni.

Astazi, psiholoaga liceului a venit la ora noastra de dirigintie ca deh…suntem clasa a XII a si n-avem stare. A vorbit un timp, nu stiu ce pentru ca eu eram in ale mele pana cand a tacut, si apoi a inceput:
“- E o zi splendida de Februarie, suntem aici…suntem bine, dar oare…suntem fericiti? Iubim cu adevarat?
Dragii mei, iubirea adevarata exista, insa noi o dam persoanelor nepotrivite iar cand apare persoana potrivita…pafff! Descoperim ca ne-am golit si ultima rezerva de iubire ce o mai aveam. Dragii mei, in clasa asta sunt deja cativa care deja si-au irosit si ultima rezerva de iubire si sunt sigura ca pe persoana gresita. Tu, domnisoara din prima banca, da…tu cu tricou negru. Ce culoare au ochii tai?
-Ah…acum? Verzi… (eu)
-Sa iti spun ceva: Ai niste ochi superbi dar stii ce urasc la ei? Ca sunt tristi, dezamagiti si gata sa verse lacrimi. Tu deja ti-ai irosit rezerva de iubire pe persoana gresita, si nu incerca sa ma minti te rog.
Dragilor, va veti casatori. Dar nu veti iubi la fel. Va agatati  de oameni cu speranta ca veti fi iubiti indeajuns incat sa va umpleti rezerva de iubire. Va agatati si implorati,cersiti iubire pentru a va umple pe voi insiva. Sunteti fericiti? Nu! Nu sunteti, pentru ca voi nu va stiti pe de-a-ntregul, nu va cunoasteti. Voi, stiti doar sa cersiti sa implorati si sa impuneti. Impuneti cuiva sa va iubeasca: Trebuie sa ma iubesti! Normal ca ma iubesti!
Dar nu asa se fac lucrurile dragii mei, ce veti face cand veti fi casatoriti iar copilul vostru va vrea putina afectiune iar voi nu veti mai avea pentru ca…ati golit rezerva de iubire pe oamenii gresiti, va amintiti?
Asa ca dragii mei, nu va mai agatati de oameni, nu va mai irositi iubirea pentru ca toata iubirea din lume nu va va mai umple odata ce voi v-ati irosit-o pe oamenii gresiti.”

Va spun exact ce a spus doamna psiholog, cuvant cu cuvant. Credeti-ma, acestea sunt cuvinte ce nu le voi uita mult timp si care m-au marcat…nu in bine…nu in bine…dar m-au marcat!

I finished Six of Crows and I’m now halfway through Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo and at 2am this morning this kept going through my mind:

Kaz: You know what I love the most about this job?
Inej: He’s a challenging mark?
Jesper: The high reward?
Wylan: Your reputation will live in infamy?
Nina: We’re almost certainly going to die and take everyone with us?
Matthias: You guys are insa-
(Suriel bursts in): Inej!

youtube

this is the best Dah*r Insa*t video

anonymous asked:

Câti ani ai?

nu.
uite
facandu-ti cunoscuta varsta, oamenii te vor trata in functie de ea, vor avea asteptari de la tine raportate la varsta ta si, mai mult de atat, te vor influenta, descurajandu-te atunci cand vei dori sa iei anumite decizii, argumentand fie ca ,, e prea devreme’’ , fie ca ,, e prea tarziu’’ , fie ca ,, esti prea tanar’’ , fie ,, prea batran’’.
varsta biologica nu are nicio legatura cu varsta sufleteasca, insa, din cauza prejudcatilor societatii, omul traieste, raportandu-se….la ce cred altii.
cititi ceva, varsta mea e absolut inutila.

Buna.Ce mai faci, cum te mai simti?
Sunt eu, prietena ta.Sau am fost.
Obisnuiam sa ne spunem toate prostiile una alteia, dar lucrurile s-au schimbat.Tu te-ai schimbat, eu m-am schimbat si prin urmare relatia noastra de prietenie s-a schimbat.Lucrurile nu mai erau ca inainte.
Nu-mi placea schimbarea ta.Deloc.Cu cat vorbeam mai mult, simteam ca ne despartam mai mult.
De fiecare data cand aveai probleme apelai la mine.Nu, nu ma deranja absolut deloc, ba din contra.Insa mereu spuneai ca am dreptate si ca o sa faci asa, insa mereu faceai ca tine.Nu ma deranja ce faceai, e viata ta la urma urmei, dar nu-mi da dreptate daca tu nu consideri ca am.Nu inteleg de ce ai face asta.La urma urmei eram prietene de ani buni, faptul ca nu puteai sa fii sincera cu mine si sa-mi spui ca ai o parere opusa imi dovedea cat de putina incredere aveai de fapt in mine.Credeam ca te cunosc.Credeam.Amandoua credeam ca ne cunoastem una pe cealalta dar de fapt nu era asa.
Aveai prieteni care stiau doar sa te foloseasca.
Ti-am zis sa stai departe de ei.Ai zis ca asa o sa faci, si mereu de credeam, pentru ca mereu uitam ca spuneai asta doar de pomana.Propriul tau cuvant nu valora nimic pentru tine.Promiteai ca nu o mai faci, imi promiteai mie dar si tie.Insa nu erai in stare sa te tii de o promisiune facuta TIE in primul rand.
Aveai prieteni pe care ii barfeai cu mine.Imi spuneai ca nu ii suporti si ca te streseaza, iar de fiecare data cand te sunau te strambai.Si totusi..de fiecare data cand imi spuneai ca iesi, aflam ca doar in compania lor.
Te-am intrebat de ce.
Mi-ai spus ca din mila.Ca se roaga de tine si ca ti-e mila de ei.Aveai impresia ca procedezi bine.Ti-am spus ca nu e asa.Aceeasi poveste, iti cautai scuze, spuneai ca mine si faceai ca tine.
Exista o fata pe care nu o suportai deloc, desi eu fusesem cea care avusese mici probleme cu ea..din cauza ta, desigur, dar asta e alta poveste.Erai atat de plina de ura, incat de fiecare data cand fata aceea posta ceva pe facebook, imi trimiteai mie sa vad si incepeai sa o vorbesti de rau.La inceput am fost ca tine, apoi am realizat ca e gresit si ca trebuie sa ne oprim.Dar se pare ca m-am oprit singura, si nicidecum amadoua.
Toata povestea asta a durat mai mult decat am crezut ca pot suporta.Incepusem sa ma enervez atunci cand aflam ce faceai si atunci cand erai de acord cu mine doar pentru ca probabil nu voiai sa continui discutia.Incepuse sa ma deranjeze faptul ca nu te tineai de promisiunile facute atat mie cat si tie.Mai ales tie.
Apoi mi-am dat seama ca nu mai avem nimic in comun.Toate sfaturile pe care ti le-am dat au fost in zadar.Toate orele petrecute vorbind cu tine, toate degeaba.Prietenia noastra exista doar cu numele.Iti placea sa ai persoane in jur, motiv pentru care acceptai sa fii calcata in picioare de prosti.
Eu mereu ti-am zis ca as prefera sa fiu singura decat inconjurata de oameni falsi si prosti.
Si tu mereu ai fost de acord cu mine.Sau cel putin asa ziceai, caci faptele tale spuneau altceva.
Mereu ai avut impresia ca iertai din bunatate.Dar nu, motivul era altul.Iertai pentru ca nu-ti placea sa fii singura.Aveai impresia ca tot ce induri era pentru altii, dar nu..totul era pentru tine.

In fine.

Intr-o seara am stat vreo jumatate de ora si m-am gandit bine daca merita sa mai fim una in compania alteia.Si asa prietenia asta se dusese de rapa, ce rost avea sa ne mintim una pe alta si sa tragem cu dintii ce ceva ce nu mai exista de mult?

Mi-am dat seama ca nu mai pot sta langa tine.Oricat am incercat sa te ajut sa te indrepti, nu mi-a reusit deloc.Nu erai sincera cu mine, in schimb eu am ales sa fiu sincera cu tine.
Asa ca am discutat cu tine si ti-am spus ca asta trebuie sa se termine aici.
Tu nu ai inteles si probabil nu o sa intelegi niciodata ca asta a insemnat sinceritate si nu falsitate.
Dupa ce am terminat discutia au trecut zile bune.Acum s-au implinit vreo doua luni.
Nu asteptam sa ma bagi in seama..sau, de fapt poate ca asteptam asta, dar doar dintr-un motiv anume.
Atunci cand una din prietenele tale false te facea sa plangi, tot tu te tineai legata strans de ea.Faptul ca nu ai incercat deloc sa tragi de prietenia noastra, mi-a pus un semn de intrebare.
Mereu imi spuneai ca sunt prietena ta cea mai buna si mereu am stiut ca nu e adevarat.Stiu bine ca spuneai asta tuturor.
Insa..
Macar am fost vreodata prietene?
Acum nu-mi pot raspunde la intrebare, si nu am de gand sa iti cer tie sa imi raspunzi.
Trecutul e trecut, prezentul e prezent.Ce-a fost a fost.
Sper doar ca intr-o zi vei realiza ca plecarea mea a fost doar un gest de sinceritate si ca am avut cateodata dreptate.
Nu pentru mine, nu astept sa-mi spui mie ca am avut dreptate.Ci pentru tine.Ca sa schimbi ceva in viata ta.

After All This Time

For @jonxsansafanfiction​‘s Valentines Challenge!
Day 4: Blind Date
Summary: Modern AU: According to her flatmate, Sansa has been single for far too long so she sets her up on a blind date. Only when she gets there, the stranger she’s supposed to meet isn’t so much a stranger at all. 


Five Years Ago

“I thought I’d find you out here.”

Sansa stepped onto the balcony, a cool breeze ruffling her dress, as she closed the sliding door. The noise from inside was now thankfully muffled by the double-paned glass. She walked across the small balcony to lean into the railing.

Jon smiled at her. “You caught me.”

“You know, it’s usually typical of the person the going away party is being thrown for to be inside with the partygoers,” Sansa commented. She rested her forearms on the cool metal and inclined her head towards the boy beside her.

“I’m not really a party person.”

Sansa chuckled. “You don’t say.”

“I just wanted a quiet evening,” Jon admitted, sighing. “Guess that’s too much to ask for, isn’t it?”

“You’re talking about Robb here,” Sansa pointed out. “There’s no such thing as a quiet evening in his world. You’re just lucky he didn’t invite the entire department.”

Jon rubbed his eyes and laughed behind his hands. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I know I’m right,” Sansa smirked, and nudged his shoulder with her own. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly?” Jon looked to her with a self-deprecating smile. “Terrified. I’ve never even been outside of the UK and now I’m going all the way to Brazil. What was I thinking?”

“You were thinking of adventure and… and doing something incredible!” Sansa enthused, knowing she didn’t have the courage for quite a big move herself. She wished but Jon had always been the brave one. “That’s admirable, Jon.”

“You think?”

Sansa placed her hand on top of his and squeezed tightly. “Of course I do. I believe in you. We all do.”

Jon held her gaze, turning her hand so their fingers intertwined. She wasn’t sure what he was doing but somehow she couldn’t look away. In fact, she could hardly breathe with Jon’s deep grey eyes staring at her like that. Her heart pounded in her throat. Sansa didn’t know if she wanted to throw up or throw her hands around his neck. But that was absurd, wasn’t it? This was Jon. Broody, serious Jon; her brother’s best friend.

“Sansa, I…” He paused and swallowed nervously. “I have to tell you something before I go. I…”

The sliding door clanged to the side as Robb poked his head through. “There you are! We’re about to bring out your cake. C’mon!”

“We’ll be right out,” Sansa told him, and once her brother was back indoors, she turned to Jon. Except he was gone from her. His hands were back by his side and he smiled, a distant look in his eyes. “Jon? What were you going to say?”

“Thank you,” he said with a soft sigh. “Thank you for staying up with me all those nights to study for my exams. Couldn’t have gotten this fellowship without you, Sans.”

Jon kissed her on the cheek and retreated into the party.

Present

Ma pupuce, you must go!”

Sansa crossed her arms across her chest and shook her head. Now that she was set to meet the man in less than an hour, she didn’t think she had the nerve. It wasn’t like her to go on a blind date anyways, so surely now was not the type to be straying outside her comfort zone.

“Sansa,” her flatmate said in that aggravatingly sultry French accent. “When was the last time you had a date?”

“Not since…”

“Oui, not since Joffrey!” Constance cried out. “You deserve a good man.”

“And how do you know this man will be a good man?” Sansa cried out with equal amounts of dramatic flourish. “He might just be as much of a jerk!”

“No one, darling, is as much of a jerk as Joffrey,” Constance said. “Now, go. I did not waste a whole week with Marcos for nothing.”

Sansa didn’t move. She just sighed. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. You don’t even know what he’s like, Constance!”

Her flatmate waved a hand in the air as if Sansa had just said the most trivial thing in the world. “Nonsense. I told you, I sat with Marcos and went through all of his friends. It was a very… um, qu’est-ce que c’est… rigorous process.”

At least, Sansa could concede, that it wasn’t one of Constance’s male friends, who were all a little too colourful for Sansa’s tastes. Maybe if she had been nineteen again she’d be into that but at twenty-five, she was looking for more. The problem was Sansa just didn’t know what more meant. She supposed that was where Constance’s coworker Marcos came in. He was normal. Sansa could do with normal after her ex, Joffrey.

“Go!”

Finally ushered out of the door, Sansa walked the short distance to the restaurant where she would be meeting this mystery man. She hadn’t wanted to go further than walking distance from her flat just in case her blind date turned out to be completely crazy.

The restaurant was a small, quaint little bistro on the corner of the high street. It had little adorable white wrought iron chairs and tables outside. A sign in glittering gold spelled out, ‘Chez L’Ami Pierre’. Inside, the decor was a deep burgundy colour mixed with accents of gold and black. It was truly one of Sansa’s favourite restaurants in Paris but as the prices were not necessarily kind to a teacher’s salary, she could only afford it on the very special occasions. A blind date was one of them, though truthfully, she just wanted to be somewhere she knew.

Once seated, Sansa began to wring the hem of her dress with increasing agitation. The nervous energy that had nearly rooted her to her flat was now coursing through her veins, pulsing to its own drumbeat.

What was she doing here? She must be insane. Totally, utterly insa–

“Sansa?”

Her heart leapt to her throat. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. Sansa tried again and managed a weak, “what…

“I… You…” He seemed to be at a similar loss for words. Sansa watched as he struggled to regain his senses, taking note of his familiar curly, unruly black hair, those deep grey eyes and those sinfully full lips. But he was different, changed. He was no longer the boy she had known all those years ago. He was…

“I haven’t seen you since –”

“Your going away party,” Sansa filled in.

“Has it really been five years?” Jon breathed out with wide-eyed surprise. Sansa nodded quietly, and in turn, he sighed, a sound so regretful she felt it in her chest. “I’m sorry… I’ll leave you to your dinner.”

“Jon, wait,” Sansa said, noticing something in his hand. “That’s… Why do you have a yellow rose?”

Jon paused and abruptly started laughing. “God, this is…”

“Unbelievable?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Jon nodded. He settled in the seat across from her and chuckled again. “Five years and now this.”

Sansa smiled faintly. Her heart was still beating wildly in her chest. She could hardly believe that it was Jon sitting in front of her right now but as that began to settle around her, something else niggled at the back of her mind, a feeling she had pushed away for so many years.

“Why didn’t you call?” Sansa asked. “Or email? Or even text? I know we weren’t exactly good friends or anything but…” She trailed off again. It seemed to be a recurring habit around Jon. He made her lose her train of thought.

Jon sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “Fuck,” he murmured to himself. When he looked back up at her from behind his hands, those deep grey eyes bore into hers, imploring her to understand, but she didn’t. She didn’t understand anything.

“At first,” Jon started, sighing. “Well, at first, I couldn’t. Trust me that I wanted to but I couldn’t. It was hard enough to be away from you and I knew if we started talking, I’d just want to fly straight home.” He chuckled softly. “Didn’t help though, you know? Still wanted to fly straight home.”

“What are you talking about?”

He moved his hands as if to grab for her but stopped himself midway. Jon then dropped them back on his lap. “I was in love with you, Sans,” he said quietly. “But the fellowship was two years long and I needed time to move on. Then when I did go home, you were away and we just kept missing each other that way.” He shook his head sadly. “After awhile, I made peace that whatever I felt was never meant to last.”

Sansa inhaled deeply, trying to pull in oxygen to quell the pain running through her veins. It didn’t work. The pain was still there. All of those years of feeling betrayed, feeling like she had been dumped and not understanding why she had a right to those feelings when Jon and her weren’t anything to each other, suddenly made sense.

“You didn’t even bother to ask me though, did you?” Sansa scowled. “How I felt? You just assumed you were doing the right thing. God, Jon, you’re so…” She struggled for a word strong enough. “So thickheaded!”

Jon blinked, startled by her accusation.

“Did you think that maybe I loved you too?” Sansa asked him. “And you disappearing out of my life for five years would’ve killed me?”

“I didn’t –”

“No, of course you didn’t know! Because you never asked!” Sansa all but spat out “Well, that’s fine. See you in five years, Jon.”

She stood up suddenly, scraping the chair across the ground in a piercing squeal. Several of the other patrons turned and stared at her but Sansa was past caring at this point. All she wanted was to crawl into bed and not emerge for the next month. Maybe have Constance spoon feed her ice cream as they watched some cheesy, stupid chick flick.

Sansa raced from the restaurant as fast as was appropriate. She began her walk back down the high street towards the flat. She didn’t think he’d follow. She hadn’t expected him to – after all, he hadn’t reached out so much as one tweet in the past five years – so when a hand wrapped around hers and tugged her back, Sansa nearly screamed.

“Sansa,” Jon said, exhaling loudly from running after her. “Shit, Sansa, I’m sorry. I fucked up. I royally, wholly, irrevocably screwed this up. And I am more sorry than I can tell you.”

The street light bathed Jon in an amber glow, highlighting the changes in his face that she hadn’t been around to see over the past five years. She sighed. “It’s five years too late.”

“I know. I understand that,” Jon said softly. “And I have no right to ask anything of you. I just needed to tell you before I lost the chance again… Sansa, I never once stopped loving you. Not in five years and probably not in the next five years.” He smiled then. “I tried to move on once and it failed miserably. I don’t think I have the energy to try again.”

“Was this what you wanted to tell me that night? Out on the balcony?”

“Yes,” Jon admitted. “But I chickened out.”

“Huh,” Sansa murmured. She wondered if he had told her then, would things have been different? Would they have been together all this time? Or would she have still pretended to move on and date Joffrey for a year?

As epiphanies went, this one slid into her consciousness like a well-worn jumper. It was warm and comforting, and her anger melted away at its first touch. Sansa knew with such resounding clarity that even if Jon had confessed that night, nothing would have changed. She would never have been happy with a long-distance relationship and she would never have asked him to come home for her when she knew this was what he had wanted since he was a young boy. Likewise, Jon would never have stopped her from traveling the world to teach English.

“We’re both idiots,” Sansa finally said, smiling at him. When he only stared back at her, confusion evident in his grey eyes, she laughed. “Because I still love you too.”

Throwing her arms around him, Sansa kissed Jon for the first time, thrilled with the knowledge that this wouldn’t be the last time. She kissed him knowing that there were a million more kisses to come and each one would have a different meaning, a different part of their love that they hadn’t discovered yet. And god, she kissed him because she could and because she had wanted to for nearly a decade.

But the best part of it all was that Jon kissed her like no one could ever love her as much as he did, and in that moment, and many moments to come, Sansa believed that.