More Unfinished Love Letters
I knew you weren’t the one because when we kissed my eyes stayed open,
Watching you to see if you really could feel everything that I didn’t.
The signs were clear.
Staying awake at night as you held me in your sleep, asking myself if your happiness meant more to me than my own.
You called me selfish in our departure. Tossing other hurtful daggers out of the second floor of the apartment we once shared. As well as my clothes.
Down fell I hate you’s and Victoria’s Secret boy shorts in the same gust of wind.
I thought you said those were your favorite.
I really don’t have the energy to fight, I remember that one night with a liquor soaked tongue you said I made you wrap your fingers meticulously around my neck. Followed by passionate “forgive me” sex. It’s okay, I whispered.
The fault wasn’t all yours, I’ll admit. Some girlfriends duties, I looked as pleasures others as chores. I only wanted to be loved, I never said I want to be committed. My wandering eye would get the best of me and as it found its way back into focus I’d see… you,
In our condo on the outskirts of the city with no lights, food spoiling in a powerless refrigerator. Your bright eyes and helpless smile told me you would’ve given me the world if you could and I hated myself for never being satisfied with “if”.