inkwellj

“he said I am less ‘brown sugar’ and more ‘the notebook’ now” by InkWell J

There is something about loving this man
Something
About loving someone
Whose brown
Never supercedes his white
Until you hear his father’s home
Roll off of his tongue

His daddy’s broken English
And his mothers broken home
Found themselves
Trying to fold pieces of themselves
Into one another
My love
Is the product of these two cultures
And he is always wandering between

When he is brown boy
He his hungrily searching for his language
The origin of his people
He is proud
And diligent
A coastal breeze
And sunset
He is ocean and shore
And visceral
He is a feeling man
With both palms
Facing toward the moon
He is a howling rage
And a welcoming calm
He sleeps with the windows open

When he is white boy
He is mayonnaise and turkey
On wheat
With no crusts
Firm to his beliefs
Rigid to the wind
I find it hard to believe they live in the same body
They are a warring duo
And he is just trying to find his way
At the fork

This is something a black girl immediately understands
Black girl is an ever-shifting being
We are more changing winds
Than standing forests
Every interaction deserves a face

My business face
And my homegirl face
My “respect my mama”
And “hanging with my daddy” faces
My “I wish a bitch would”
Versus my “I hope this bitch don’t…”
And my “I love you the way the sky breaks herself for the sun” face
All different
All me
All living in this body
And when I move through this world
I am constantly trying to become what feels most comfortable for me
As a black girl
Just black
And everything that comes with black

He is constantly trying to become what feels most comfortable for him
As a brown boy
As a white boy
And everything that comes with that

Drunk poem

When I am drunk
Our bodies
Are
Thrashing reminders
That
Nights
Are hotel rooms
Where we can hide our passion
And leave in the morning

When I am drunk
Part of me understands
When I awaken
I will regret
All our decisions
I will purge them
Wish them away
Pray to God that I will never do them again
Ask for forgiveness
Knowing full well
That we
Will find each other
Gnawing
On a bottle top
Again

When I am drunk
I am clear
I know what I want
I know I want something better than you
But how you are born sufficient
You are equipped for just these moments
How there is not one longevitic bone in your body
How you
Know this too

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