Did I ever tell you guys ‘bout the time I was at the hairdressers and my Mam gave me a bottle of coke and I thought ’Oh is that some coke?' but or some reason my tongue went 'no we’re gonna say this’ and in the middle of the hairdressers I said “Is that chocolate?” to a coke bottle

I sat for three hours trying to work out that connection.

Theory on Moriarty: (this ain’t nothing technical but eh, fuck it)

Packets of fake blood. Or real blood. Depending upon how he obtained it - could be simply goat or sheep’s blood from the butchers, easily to obtain and not really seen as dangerous - could even be found in meat or from farms. Not the point though, a small, concealed package, shrunk with chemicals or something, one click of a button - triggered by the trigger on the gun going off - which is likely a false, a blank fire, likely modified to recreate the real fire without the bullet or killing blow. Possibly a shot of hydrogen or some other chemical to release the chemical reaction that would trigger the blood from the ‘bullet’. It’s easy to play dead when your enemy has a play to perform. While everyone’s busy with Sherlock and John it’d be simply to slip away, perhaps leave a body disguised as Moriarty or simply hire someone to remove the 'body’ - possibly someone within the force, someone trusted? - while the world mourns Sherlock nobody will be focused on Moriarty, so it’d be easy to play dead. 

My dog, Ted, has had his back to us for the entire day guarding his bone.

So, when he came over to see the family (leaving his bone unguarded a quick sprint up the garden), the moment he passed me I took off sprinting down the garden and I never knew dogs could scream

he legitimately screamed

I am a bad owner

On guard (before the traumatic moment)

After attack from Erin

Soon I shall strike again