ink forever

I think I realized why I love the ocean so much. Although sometimes it’s calm, there are times where waves are crashing into each other and it’s all a mess… yet people still think those moments are just as beautiful as when it’s still. I want someone to love me when I’m a mess and I’m crashing into myself, not just when everything is going the way it should. I want someone to love me like the ocean.

Wanting always one more day with you, I began to consider that what I wanted, what I had always wanted, was forever. Then, what a disappointment to see you turn cold and unfeeling and realize we would spend the rest of our days, that is to say the greater part of our lives, apart. I am broken, and soft in loneliness, and rummaging through old memories, fading words scribbled on old bits of paper, and learning nothing new except that you loved me once and I loved you too, and now you do not love me and you intend never to love me again, and I love you. Why didn’t I say it before? I love you.

Everyone has that one person they can’t quite get over.
You can move forward with your life, you can find happiness elsewhere but every once in a while your mind will always linger back to this person. It just feels… unfinished… like there are things left unsaid.
But the funny thing is, even if you find this person and say all the things you want to… even if you do this time and time again, you will never get rid of that feeling. You will always feel unsettled and uneasy about the way it ended because the truth is it’s not about anything left unsaid or undone… What’s unresolved has nothing to do with words or actions – it’s your feelings. And it doesn’t matter how many times you go back to this person, weather you confront them or write them a letter or call them on the phone to say the things you feel you need to say to get closure… none of it will make a difference because deep down inside, for better or for worse… this person will always have a piece of your heart. Nothing you say or do will ever change that and it’s pointless to try so you may as well accept it.
No matter what you do… it will never be over between you.

The tattoo artist …

Has a signed Supernatural poster on his wall

Just how many tattoos has he done for the guys– or girls? Who was he tattooing before? Just how long has that picture been up there? The Tattoo parlor is in Vancouver … soo… has Jensen gone there before this?

Has Jared? Has Misha?

That looks like Jensen’s signature and handwriting– and maybe someone else’s.


They asked me how I could lose someone who was never mine to begin with. ‘Easy,’ I tell them, ‘you fall in love with their mind, heart and soul without laying a finger on their body and then you watch the world take them away from you in the most heartbreakingly innocent way possible.’

Even if I lived forever, I would waste away a hundred eternities loving you.

And it would still be worth it. And it would still be the best thing I’ve ever done.


I dedicate all that is endless to you.


Our friends asked about you.
Saying your name didn’t hurt like it used to.
I told them I haven’t heard from you,
And for months now that’s the truth.

This is the longest we’ve been apart.
Almost a year now but it feels like it’s been longer.
I still feel the cracks in my heart,
But every day without you I grow stronger.

—  K.N.B.