Most of the INFJ females I know–including me–tend to post deep, motivational, and inspirational quotes on their Facebook. It’s as if their profile is a feel-good page. It’s their way of reminding themselves to be positive and to understand things. However–if they’re going through bad times–be prepared to see a lot of emotional and heartbreaking posts.
When I first met some of them, they seemed really outgoing and approachable. Super easy to talk to. Then later on I realized that they’re actually quiet individuals when they’re relaxed. This is often misunderstood by other people because of the abrupt change of behavior–making them think that they aren’t okay. But really, they’re just…like that.
They could be the friendliest people, yet the most distant. It’s confusing, really. But all you have to do is show that you care and be there most of the time. Then they’ll eventually open up.
They are so so so socially selective.When I’d see them talk with their close friends, they can seem so extroverted because of how loud they get. But you can only “unlock” this side of theirs if they feel comfortable enough around you (usual introvert thing).
The females INFJs I know (including me, I have to admit) are brutally honest but SO on-point that it hurts and can rip your heart out but…they say what you need to hear. It’s their way of helping people out. (their Judging aspect)
The male INFJs seem to be too nice at first, but it’ll fade away once you prove to them that you are not worthy. Once you reach their limits, they will be the coldest people ever–and it is the scariest thing ever.
Some of the INFJs I know tend to stay in toxic relationships. After all, they’re known to be the “counselors” or “protectors” of the MBTI (similar to ENFJs). They see people as projects and they get confidence from helping others out–as if it’s their cry for help for someone to maybe…help them. (Which is impossible since INFJs know deep down that only they can help themselves. They’re very independent in that sense)
A continuation of the one above– they want to save everyone but can’t save themselves. I personally had experiences where I helped people several times and acted like their “life coach” when in reality, I, too–needed help as well.
P.S. Finally got to update after 7 months!! I’ve been so busy with school… but now it’s Christmas break, so I can make some time for this :)
I will be replying to your messages~ And I don’t think I’ll be continuing aesthetics–since I don’t want this to turn into another MBTI Aesthetic blog, so yeah, sorry guys!
NOTE: If you’re an INFJ, and think that one or some of the reasons below aren’t related to you, please do not directly attack saying “This is wrong!”. Read number 1. Feel free to say why you disagree and to add more reasons for why we door slam. Thank you.
Usually perceived as an immature behavior by many, the door slam simply means cutting someone out of your life without any explanation. This could be literally anyone.
It may function either temporary or permanently depending on who you cut contact with or why you choose to door slam.
Some may prefer to explain why. If so, that could be done via email or text message. No further talking.
INFJs generally try to remain positive, however they usually walk on the thin line between optimism and pessimism -which I personally call “realism” or “efforts to be realistic.”
On the other hand if you’re giving the “no hope” sign to an INFJ, you’re most likely to be door slammed.
We door slam because
1.We don’t like arguments and argumentative people. Not that we are such cowards or don’t know what to say, but there are so many other ways to solve a conflict. Constant negativity can be overwhelming.
2.Disrespectful or overly critical people. You don’t have to agree with everything we think or do, however if we get criticism but nothing from you, you’ll end up with a loud door slam. (metaphorically, not that we’re yelling at you, we may though)
3. INFJs listen to others,- otherwise no one would call anyone “personal shrink” for no reason, but if we notice, the others never listen to us or act like listening, yet always talk about themselves and their things, that means time to door slam.
4. People who are always complaining about some particular issue-or even everything, and make their own life miserable come to us for advice, but they continually make the same mistake and come to us again with a “please save me’ face. Eventually this becomes a habit for them, which turns into a situation where they’re slowly dragging us to their misery. Actual therapists charge. You know that right? Door slam.
5.People who want to be friends with us just not to be alone. This proves two things : 1. They have no interest in who you are 2. Most likely they’ll stop hanging out with you once they make new buddies. (if this is not the case, their intention may be something else, but these two are pretty common)
How do we understand one’s intentions so quickly? I think, that should be something an INFJ can figure out. You guys are probably thinking how psychic we are. NOPE. We can easily understand by looking at one’s behavior or gestures -or certain patterns we detect.
6. We don’t like seeing people upset, especially if we are the reason. There may be times that we experience a “You and I are just different” situation. Doesn’t mean that you are a bad person -in fact we may even like you. Simply means we have nothing in common. Spending time with you becomes exhausting, and we don’t even know any proper way to tell you how we feel about this without breaking your heart. Door slam may seem like a solution.
7. There are sometimes inexplicable reasons. Like the energy you’re giving or how you generally behave. Imagine, you make us feel so uncomfortable with your presence that we have no choice but cutting contact with you. Since it’s incomprehensible to even us, we may remain silent in order not to sound weird.
One time I tried to be perfect for a whole day….. What I learned was that I couldn’t be perfect because I was too passive. In order to be perfect, I have to more actively do what was right, and interfere with destiny. That is a scary thing.