infinity cycle

Sinbad: I want to kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to not kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to not kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to not kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to not kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to not kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to not kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to not kill everyone.
Sinbad: I want to kill everyone.
*to infinity*

 Gentle  Layers

Long drawn infinity

constant cycle of hearts beating

blood rushing in veins, hearts bare pain, minds the strain
thus part of bestowing vitality
thus part of it all

Energetic ribbons 
roaming all the universe

enveloping and touching it all

places, spaces, and all living organisms 


Time gently passes yet the same layers,
natural cycles reoccur


All is One, always moving

stirring motions,
evolving emotions

in each mind
 struggling to find and kindle that of what is
Existence

Sofia Del Mar

18.05.20.01

THE SOURCE

This we hold to be true: First there was The Light. Then there was The Prism. And The Prism shattered The Light into innumerable layers of colour and sound.

consider: adam being a slut for ronan playing with his hair

  • adam coming home from work and resting his head in ronan’s lap and closing his eyes and falling asleep to ronan’s magical fingers massaging his scalp
  • adam resting his head on ronan’s shoulder in the backseat of the pig and ronan carding his fingers through his hair 
  • adam sitting on the floor in front of ronan during movie nights at monmouth and resting his head against ronan’s knee and instinctively leaning back into his touch 
  • ronan washing adam’s hair 
  • when they’re hugging, ronan slides one hand up into his hair and just holds him there and adam feels so safe 
  • basically, adam having just as much chill abt ronan’s hands as ronan does abt adam’s (i.e. negative infinity)

I’ve never quite understood the logic behind that people presume that I have to be into guys simply because I’m transsexual. Just that may not be all that weird, but it’s rather how they seem to get to that conclusion.
That they assume that I’m gay, when they actually mean straight, when in reality I’m neither since I’m bi.

I just fail to see the logic there, “so you identify as a woman? Then you must obviously think of yourself as an homosexual man too right?”
If I identify as a woman and would just be drawn to men I would obviously view myself as straight, and just because I identify as a woman I don’t have to be straight either.
If attraction was only bound by gender there wouldn’t be any homosexuals, but they sure as hell exist. I could’ve just as well have been a lesbian, but then again that’s what they would consider being straight so what do I know.

I will never quite forget about that one guy that explained to me that mtf transgenders simply are homosexual males that takes it one step further just so that they could sleep with more men. That it was the step beyond being gay basically.
That I so gay that I were going to “change” gender.. but if I did “change” gender I would just be straight, are you supposed to repeat that cycle to infinity?
Or is being straight just the step beyond being gay? Wouldn’t that just mean that straight people are more gay than homosexuals?
In that case why do they get so offended if someone were to even try to imply that they were gay?