infiltration i

I was thinking about making comics of the few astral adventures that I have. A lot of them are silly like last night where K2 and I pretended to be vacuum salesmen to infiltrate this place, so I think comics might be fun.

But then I looked at K2 who was still cosplaying as the main character from persona 5, mask and everything. And Then I looked at myself who had “WELCome ♥️hELL” written across my armor’s chest piece in blood as a part of an intentionally cringe edgy joke I did a while ago. That’s when I realized that I should probably continue to keep quiet about my astral nonsense 😂.

(The blood was mine just in case u were wondering lmao)

some neato stuff about gabriel reyes i felt like putting into list form just cause

  • led the overwatch strike team during the omnic crisis and won
  • is a tactical genius
  • sarcastic af
  • also chill 
  • makes dad jokes in game including such hits as “i work the graveyard shift” and “where’s your holiday spirit?” in his holiday skins
  • likes to pull pranks and have dramatic entrances
  • always smiling in every comic adaption we’ve seen him in
  • took down the entirety of deadlock pretty much by himself
  • took mccree under his wing when he could have just let him go to prison and now we got the cowboy dork we all know and love today
  • also likely had a hand in taking genji under his wing too
  • is a fan of basketball and basketball memes
  • likes costume design and can sew
  • angela ziegler asked him to design the overwatch uniforms once that’s how good he is at that shit
  • 6′1″
  • is the only one to show some compassion for the omnics in the uprising comic even though he led a strike team against them in a fucking war not too long ago
  • is the literal embodiment of the shrug emoji
  • is from LA and probably wears a hoodie in all types of weather because anything below 80 degrees might kill him
  • is sad they cleaned out the pollution in LA and now he coughs because he’s not used to the clean air
  • purposely put mccree in london after blackwatch’s suspension to make jack morrison help out the cause in kings row
  • both he and jack joined the SEP to help stop the omnic crisis—a program which is implied to have been extremely strenuous and probably didn’t have many successful cases
  • has a voice that could melt butter 
  • genuinely cares about his friends and seems pretty upset that overwatch left ana to die
  • knows jack morrison well enough to be able to predict his every move in a fight
  • “no one left behind” line when symmetra puts up a teleporter
  • friendly reaper lines are extremely tactical and also kinda quiet for someone who can jump onto the point and murder an entire team in 3 seconds
  • spares quite a few people during the animated shorts and comics when he could have easily killed them (ana, jack, winston, some of the guards in the infiltration short)

anyway i love gabriel reyes

5

hello everyone, today I’m bringing you: a Fantastic Beats AU where everything is the same except everyone has a dæmon

disclaimer: this AU is very self-indulgent and I haven’t thought out all details and impracticalities of it, so please don’t nitpick. anyway,

- only witches and wizards are born with dæmons, muggles don’t have them

- a lot of dæmons settle as birds seeing as it’s more convenient form that can follow its human when they travel via flying objects like broomsticks

- both Grindelwald and Graves have large birds of prey as their dæmons; the birds are different, but look similar enough to be mixed up by anyone who doesn’t pay too much attention (this is another reason for Graves to be extremely salty once they find him after the whole Grindelwand infiltration incident; “I can’t believe you fools couldn’t tell one bird from another,” he keeps saying. “Maybe I should summon that Scamander guy back in America and ask him to give you all a few zoology lessons.”)

- Tina’s dæmon is an english setter, Queenie’s is a dove

- Credence’s dæmon is a black cat, for two reasons, one of them being me finding it aesthetically pleasing, and the second is that it’d probably piss Mary Lou off even more because there’s a lot of superstitions around black cats plus all that stuff about them being familiars of witches

- when Credence was a child, and his dæmon could still change its form, it took shape of small animals/birds/insects so that Credence was able to hide it from Mary Lou in his pockets; then it settled as a black cat and Credence started having a really hard time keeping it from Mary Lou’s eyes

- I wasn’t sure about Newt’s dæmon, only knowing that I wanted it to be an animal he can carry around on his shoulder so it’d constantly pick fights with Pickett much to Newt’s agitation; then someone I was discussing this AU with suggested an occamy and I ran with it. maybe it doesn’t exactly fit him personality-wise, but it’s my favourite magical creature so I just kind of. put two of my faves together. personal bias much? why yes, absolutely

- (or, you know, Pickett himself could be Newt’s dæmon instead, now that I think of it; those drawings can be read as either of these two options)

- yes, magical creatures can also be dæmons, because why the hell not; I guess it’s just not that common, and if your dæmon settles as one it’s a sign that you’re most likely an eccentric and unpredictable person (and isn’t that what annoys other people)

okay I’m done and please for the love of god don’t delete this long ass comment

I Am Floored By My Group's Infiltration Tactics

I’m DMing for a group of four players: a Dwarf Druid, a Wood Elf Ranger, a Human Monk, and a Half-Elf Cleric. Currently, due to tips from an NPC, they’re attempting to infiltrate the castle, and are currently dealing with the king’s advisor, Bo. They’ve decided they need to get away from Bo and check either a side room, or the basement.

Ranger: (OOC) I want to try and sneak away into this side room. (rolls low)

Me: You take three steps, then step on a squeaky floorboard. Bo is looking right at you.

Ranger: (IC) “…man, you should get these floorboards fixed.”

Bo (Me): “Well, with all that’s been going on lately, we haven’t had time to call in any carpenters.”

Monk: “I’m a carpenter, I could get them fixed for you if you bring me some tools.” (passes Persuasion roll)

Bo (Me): “Oh, that’d be wonderful! I’ll go get you what you need.”

Bo leaves. Our Druid goes over to a small hole in the wall, lures out a rat, and communicates with it to try and learn any secrets about the castle. Some guards have noticed this and gotten suspicious, however, and are on their way over to apprehend him. Our Cleric quickly tries to intervene.

Cleric: “Hey guys! What’s it like being guards? You look so cool!”

Guard (Me): “Sir, please stand aside…”

Monk: I want to punch the squeaky floorboard. (rolls high on Strength)

Me: (amused, thinking he wants to break into the basement) Alright, make a Stealth check to see if the guards notice.

Monk: Nah man, I’m trying to distract them!

Me: (after a surprised pause) …you loudly punch a five-foot hole in the floor. The guards start rushing over to you, forgetting about [Druid].

Monk: “See, there’s your problem! Wood rot!”

Ranger: I want to push one of the guards into the hole in the floor. (makes Strength check, beats my roll for the guard’s own Strength)

Me: You push one guard forward into the hole. It’s only about a foot deep, so he gets back up and turns to you angrily.

Ranger: “I just wanted you to check if you found any problems in that hole!” (makes a Deception check, gets decently high)

Me: (rolls the guard’s Insight, gets Nat 1) …

Guard (Me): (cheerfully) “Oh, okay then! :D”

Tim: Have you guys ever planned for what you would do if you suddenly got sucked back in time? I mean… It’s a legit thing to think about because of our line of work and all the strange stuff that happens.

Jason: I would infiltrate a saber toothed tiger pride, and bring offerings of food to the leader so that they would accept me. After a couple weeks I would be put in charge of watching the cubs, and one would become super attached. Once the time portal opened again, the little cub would have grown to a huge beast and wouldn’t let me leave without it. I would take him on patrol and ride into battle on its back. His name will be Toast.


Damian: I was going to say ‘invent indoor plumbing’ but I’m super on board with Todd’s idea.

a tale of trees and espionage

okay story time:

my professor (lovely man, married to our TA, 5'2", about as intimidating as a muffin) is a dendrologist by trade, so he studies trees. it was about three hours into our social sciences course, last lecture before exams, everyone was frazzled and exhausted, so he told us about his most exciting/in-depth research to date to cheer us up.

(the few of us who actually showed up were like “ok sir im sure its fascinating” but in our minds we were totally like its trees what. is. exciting. about trees. You might be wondering the same thing - the acorns? the leaves? the roots? BUT NO. IMMA FUCKIN TELL YA.)

ANYWAY we settle in, he had a few pictures loaded up from his field work (we were chuckling at this point…. ‘hehehe field work’ i giggled to my frend. its trees.) and began to tell his tale. it’s long, imma warn you, but……. god. just read it.

theres an species of tree called the cucumber tree (Magnolia acuminata, if ya wanna get all Latin-y). its super endangered, in our region there’s only ~280 that are registered by the government, yadda yadda yadda. my prof thought that was tragic (i know) but also strange, because when he was writing his thesis about local trees years ago, he kept coming across cucumber trees in really random places. we’re talking like backyards, independently-owned nurseries, etc. WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE because, according to tree law (i know) it is very strictly protected by the government, and thus super “illegal to possess, transport, collect, buy or sell any part of a living or dead member of a listed species if it originates from wild sources.” essentially, the govt takes control over growing the trees and anyone who independently raises them is breaking the law (i know)

so he’d ask people “do you have a permit for these trees?” and they were like “uh no, it’s just a tree someone sold me, i think it looks nice, are you gonna arrest me?” so he’d be like “nah nah nah just tell me who sold it to you”

eventually, months/years later, someone did, and turns out it was like this underground sort-of illegal tree dealing club (i know). so my prof went, got a bit of funding from the government, who were getting pissed at independent cucumber tree numbers, and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTO THE GOOD SHIT I STG.

he infiltrates the tree trafficking organization. he buys a cucumber tree from an independent nursery, raises it for months, ensures he gets noticed by the traffickers, and then INFILTRATES it and convinces its leader to LET HIM JOIN. he has to pay like a steep entrance fee, which he does (and it blows my mind that the government of my country paid money to illegal tree dealers), but then he is given full access to records and maps because they think he’s one of them, not a SECRET AGENT.

now this part blows my mind because the tree lords don’t even have to try very hard to find cucumber trees because government agents MARK THE TREES AND DISTINCTLY TAG THEM SAYING THIS IS ENDANGERED DO NOT TOUCH. so, ya know…………. it’s a bit obvious. my prof hangs out with the members so much that he figures out their “hit spots”. these are where the trees are relatively secluded and unguarded. (he writes all this shit and numbers down for his research.)

BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THE GOVT SAYS HES WASTING THEIR FUNDING IF HE DOESNT HAVE PROOF and they are willing to take LEGAL ACTION for misuse of funding (my prof doesn’t have the money nore time nor power to take them to court, which would also blow his cover). so my prof literally STAKES OUT a copse of cucumber trees at a recognized wildlife reserve for. DAYS. he camps there, and watches the trees, is about to give up, he’s going off an unreliable rumor from the traffickers that a harvester would be going there within the next week. finally, this guy comes and takes the cucumber tree seeds from the CLEARLY MARKED trees by the government, and my prof takes pictures (we are shown these pictures, most of us are speechless at this point). dozens of candid shots of a man my grandpa’s age with a grocery store bag, garden shears, and a ladder, clipping away the illegal seeds and then going on his merry fucking way.

so my prof has the proof, he’s been undercover for months now at this point, he writes up his report, gives it to the government who is like…….. “oh shit”, helps them draft up a new LESS COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVIOUS way of marking endangered trees (so that way non-tree-lovers wouldn’t damage them further, etc.), and then never returns to the tree traffickers. he’d given them a fake name, address, everything….. he disappears.

…there was a full minute of stunned silence from us students at this point, during which he grew more and more nervous (again, he’s a muffin) and all of us students are just like……. “whoa.” we asked him what happened to the remaining illegal cucumber trees & if he turned the tree dealers in to the government, and that is when he smiles a little bit and shows us the last few pictures. because here’s the kicker… he never turned the smugglers in. he burned all the data he collected, defied the government pressuring him to turn them in, and the only reason he’s not incarcerated is because his work is so prominent in certain circles now & universities love him, that there would be an uproar if he got arrested. he’s like a fucking anti-hero and then he tells us (i’ll never forget, it’s the most inspirational green-thumb thing in the world) “it may be 'illegal’, but those who risk their liberty to ~save the world~ should never be reprimanded, no matter what those in power say.”

we are all stunned. some of us are considering dendrology as a field we’d now be interested in pursuing. he clicks his slide one final time, before we leave our last lecture and, since he had an asthma attack (lil muffin) he didn’t attend our exam, so i never see him again…………

and there, on the slides, the last picture? THERE HE IS. in his own backyard. with his equally lovely TA wife. both grinning innocently, standing underneath a……. FUCKING. FULL GROWN. ILLEGAL. CUCUMBER TREE.

Highlights from the 1st session of my D&D campaign

(during character creation)
Mum: I’m Trump-Tinyhands, a famous half-orc ballerina.

(while trying to enter a cursed church) D
M: You (pixie character) enter the church, however, the second you enter you get distracted by a bright light, which you then fly towards blindly and continue to fly into it.
Dylan, our Pixie: IT’S SO BRIGHT AND SHINY

(in a bar)
Trump-Tinyhands: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Me want drink! Drink! Drink!
Dylan: Erm yes I think we might need a few more dozen pints for our friend over here, he’s not drunk enough.

(still in the bar)
M'riqa, our Khajiit thief, talking to the barmaid: Hey, I’ve seen many pussies in my time, but if I pet you right will your purr?
Barmaid: I will beat the shit out of you if you talk to me like that again.
M'riqa: *sprints right out of the bar*
Dylan: Damnit, come back here!

(going back to the cursed church)
DM: Maybe Dylan should stop trying to enter the church. He’s a Loki-worshipper and this is the Church of The God of Mild Frostbite and That Very Annoying Feeling You Get After You Warm Your Hands Up After Being In The Cold That Makes Your Fingers Feel Like They’re Burning
Trump-Tinyhands OOC: If that’s the God’s name, I can’t imagine just how long the sermons are.

(M'riqa spotted something pretty in the church and wants to steal it)
M'riqa: I enter the church!
DM: You try to enter the church, but it appears that you cannot. The curse on the church does not know what to do with you, so it simply becomes an invisible wall.
Trump-Tinyhands: I think something’s going on with this church.
Dylan: *sarcastically* I never would have thought of that!

(40 minutes into figuring out the church)
M'riqa OOC: Does anybody have Detect Magic?
Dylan OOC: Hell yeah I do!
M'riqa OOC: Then go do it you winged bastard.
Dylan: I cast Detect Magic on the church doorway.
M'riqa OOC: 40 fucking minutes. 40 FUCKING MINUTES WE’VE SPENT ON THIS FUCKING CHURCH CURSE ONLY NOW TO FIND THAT THE BLOODY PIXIE HAD THE KEY TO THE WHOLE DAMN THING
DM: You cast Detect Magic on the doorway. It seems that only followers of the God of Mild Fristbite and all that stuff can pass through the doorway.
Dylan: I can’t, I’m Loki’s priest.
Half-orc: What’s a priest? (too stupid to know what a god is)
Dylan: It’s down to you, M'riqa.
M'riqa: … I may or may not have sold my soul and devoted my life to Nocturnal. Is that a problem?

(later)
M'riqa: Nocturnal, may I stray from your path for a moment while I infiltrate this church?
DM: You poke yourself in the eye. That’s a no.
M'riqa: Please? Come on, I’ll steal something to add to the glory of the Guild!
DM: You sock yourself right in the nose. You are bleeding.
M'riqa: Pretty please?? I’ll serve you in the afterlife for twice as long!
DM: You stamp on your own foot.
M'riqa: Before I go any further, if I ask one more time, will I or will I not keep my tail?
DM: Nocturnal remains smugly silent.
M'riqa: If someone had told me that this is the sort of thing that happens when you give yourself to a god, then I may have reconsidered my choice.

Why

(Cobtext: this is pretty much my group and I’s first time playing, we’re at whisper base and we got in our second firefight.)
Our Engineer: I aim at the stormtrooper attacking our bothian scout
GM: That’s pretty far away are you sure
Engineer: yes *rolls**wins*
GM: you kill him *to me* your turn
Infiltrator 1 (me): I roll to shoot stormtrooper 3 feet away from me
GM: ok that’s an easy roll
Me:*rolls**fails*
GM: you miss
Me: What is life

6

Mass Effect minimalist class “posters”

And they’re done! They’re not 100% accurate, but hey I haven’t worked with Illustrator in a long time, this is as accurate as I could get with these.

Also don’t repost/claim as your own (why do you think I slapped my name on those). I’ve worked 3 hours on them.
But I might release .png files in gray colors for people who want to use them in edits, perhaps. If you peeps would be interested that is.

Love Over War

Characters - Peter x Reader, Steve, T'Challa, mentions of Tony

Word Count - 1029

Warnings - Fluff

Request - Hoooooows about the reader being SUPER smart about Peter’s age on #teamcap and set after civil war, when Tony is too big to reach out to Steve for help Peter contacts y/n and the team kinda gets back together ‘for the kids’ sake, cause they’re in 'puppy love’????!!!1!1!!1!? (Anon)

A/N - I went a little off from the request. Idk, I started writing and it just happened. Please let me know what you think!

“Y/N,” Steve mumbled your name after hearing you sigh for about the fourth time in the past half hour.

Though your eyes were glued to the window, he knew that there was a longing dancing within them. Your heart was aching and you couldn’t help the knots that twisted tightly in your chest as you thought about the fight in Germany. You wanted nothing more than to just leave, you hated that you had to pick sides on the matter.

Keep reading