The doctor called me today with the most up-to-date plan. I still have 4 embryos. 3 are between 2-4 cells. The last one is 5 cells which is advanced for this stage. There is a 5th embryo that fertilized, but it is not dividing. It could, but it is doubtful. It appears that the best case scenario would be a day 3 transfer. This is because I only have a few embryos and they would have a better chance if we put them in on day 3. Unfortunately, there is a MASSIVE HURRICANE barreling towards CT and a day 3 transfer is impossible. We talked about a day 4 transfer. However, the doctor explained that this is rarely done because it is hard to pick the best embryos. Day 4 in a strange day for embryo development. This means we are looking at a day 5 transfer by default. If I go in on day 5, and none of them made it, we will have to defrost and use our frozen embryos. That means this entire cycle- all the shots, the money, the surgery, the bruises, the pain would have been for nothing. If we have to use what is frozen, and I still do not get pregnant, we will have to start all over again. Back to square one. Even though I am desperate to keep trying, I think I should take a month off because of my egg quality. I am also really concerned about the state of my liver. It has been overwhelmed by so many medications.
The doctor said that we should have done ICSI and that we learned this lesson the hard way. She said that she made the decision not to do ICSI based on my cycle from last month. She thought it was the best choice but she was wrong. I am kicking myself for not asking her to do just a few ICSI. I almost asked her to do a few but I was still drugged when she was discussing it with me. Oh well, what can you do about it now?
My doctor said that she consulted another IVF specialist about my case and they think that the current plan is the best case scenario. If it does not work, we will evaluate why. It could be that I need to choose another donor. It could be that I need genetic testing. She assures me that it is not a result of the medication dosage. I don’t necessarily agree with that, but I am trying to put my faith in the fact that she knows more than I do.
I told her that I was worried about the embryos making it through the hurricane. She said that the frozen ones are safe, we just have to worry about the fresh ones. She explained that there are two maintenance men spending the night in the building to make sure that the generators stay on. Hopefully they stay on. Hopefully the building does not flood. Hopefully they don’t evacuate the area. I will FREAK OUT if my embryos die because of this stupid hurricane. It’s not like having a car destroyed. Okay, it would suck, but I could get a new car. It would not involve me taking 3-4 shots per day for several weeks and being treated as a human pin cushion so I can have excruciating surgery to get eggs that don’t even fertilize!!! Sorry… I am really upset right now. I probably should have written this blog when I was in a better frame of mind.
Oh, and to top it off, my neighbor said that there may be so many trees blocking the road that we are unable to leave our street for 3-7 days! Have I mentioned that I live in the deep woods? We also may have no way to communicate with anyone, including my doctor. I hope they know to freeze the embryos if I do not return their phone calls and I do not show up for the embryo transfer. I tried to leave a message but the mailbox was full.
Please, please, please let everything work out. For once…