I’m Japanese (fourth generation living in Canada). I spent pretty much all of my middle and high school years surrounded by very sexual white friends. I tried so hard to be both “normal” (aka more sexual) and not “too stereotypical”.
Eventually I learned more about sexuality (and learned I was asexual) and race issues (and that it was okay to like things in my own culture and things like cultural assimilation). I stopped trying to be sexual and felt okay liking Japanese things, including the overly cute stuff, and I just felt a lot better.
Eventually, I learned that a lot of Japanese things, including the overly cute stuff, is really fetishized and sexualized, which completely baffled me. I spent so long being self-conscious about how sexually unattractive I always felt that I never even thought that the opposite end of the spectrum of racism. tbh between white beauty standards and the fact that most Japanese things (particular pop culture stuff) are infatalized I kind of thought it would be like sexual repellent but apparently not due to fetishization and pedophilia undertones around sex and there’s just absolutely no winning.