industry service

I realise I’m a bartender/working in the service industry but that doesn’t give you the right to ask me about my personal life. It doesn’t give you the right to make sexual comments, or to comment on my sexuality in any way. It doesn’t mean I’m gonna sleep with you. It doesn’t mean that I’m gonna fawn over you if you’ve got money. I just wanna be treated like a human.

Every day during lunch there will be several parties of two straight men having lunch together, that insist I seat them at a table for four even though there are only two of them. Because I guess homosexuality can be transmitted through accidental undertable foot contact now? Who knew?

Right now you might be asking “What happens when four straight men are having lunch together?”

Well what do you think?

They ask for a table for six. I shit you not.

I was airing my humorous grievance to our daytime bartender who only nodded and said. “They order wine and ask me to bring it in a pilsner glass.”

The cocktail server corroborated this saying some straight men will demand he show them the glass a drink comes in to make sure it’s suitably “masculine” looking before they order it.

And the dishwashers hate this because it makes their jobs much more complicated. It’s really not fun to have to drop what you’re doing to scrub dried red wine out of the bottom of a narrow pilsner glass. Especially when they have literally THOUSANDS of other dishes you have to do in a short amount of time.

Straight men ask for special accomodations for their straightness all the time.

That being said, Disabled folks, chronically ill folks, folks with severe allergies and other special needs:

NEVER feel ashamed to request the accomodations you require to enjoy your time at a restaurant. Hand to God we are happy to do it for you- a person who actually needs it.

It would honestly be a nice break from catering to all that fragile masculinity.

Shoutout to the girls doing ‘dirty jobs.’ The women who can’t wear makeup, nail polish, flattering clothes or have piercings and tattoos when at work. Props to the ladies who come home with dirt under their nails, stains on their uniforms and smells stuck to them that cannot be washed away with a single shower. To the girls who don’t feel pretty in their workplace. To the trans girls who cannot yet pass in the workplace. I see your dirt, smears, scars and dry skin. I see your scrubs, coveralls, aprons and smocks. I see your messy buns and steel-toed boots.

Your hard work is beautiful. Your blood, sweat and tears are worthy of respect. I am so proud of you and all you do. You are just as stunning in your work clothes as you are on a night out.

Please fire me.  I think we all know working retail sucks, with rude customers and high expectations when you’re just one person.  But when you’re desperate enough to work at Dollar Tree of all places, you know it’s bad.  (And yes, you “funny” customer, everything IS INDEED a fucking dollar.)

My job description is basically “cashier first, stocker second”.  But apparently no one told me I was also a janitor, a babysitter, a shrink, and the brains behind the manager who can’t think for himself half the time.  Okay fine, I’ll clean up your crap that you’re too lazy to put back in its original spot that’s two feet away from you.  Fine, I’ll watch your kid for a moment if you need to use the restroom.  I’ll listen if you really want to tell me about the shitty day you’ve been having prior to coming to my register.  Okay manager, I’ll handle the customer for a few minutes while you back me up on the register.

However, if you’re going to take all the shit from the party aisle and shove it into the empty cavity on the shelf specifically made for bread, get out of my store.  If your child won’t listen to me after I’ve told them 4 times to stop pulling the balloons out of the corral, you need to put your child on a leash.  If you’re going to blame me for your shitty day and take all your frustration out on me, then I WILL make myself the reason you’re not in control of your own damn life.  And manager, for the love of whatever you believe in, do your fucking job as a manager and not talk to your wife about moving to Florida in *certain time frame*; stop bullshitting on the side-lines and help me on the register when I need it.

Don’t argue with me over something coming out to $1.06 because you didn’t think to bring change with you for tax.  Don’t argue with me when I say we only do exchanges and that I am not authorized to do full refunds.  And especially don’t argue with me when your card declines and you don’t carry cash.

And I swear, if you come into my store, and I have a small line of two people, and you want a new line to open because you woke up late for work and you’re too damn impatient to purchase a single bottle of water, I will gladly step away from my register to hand you an application so you can ring up your own fucking water, you impatient, sweaty, suit-and-tie dickweed.

Pretty Please with sugar on top kindly stop fucking blaming waitresses for the quality of your fucking food darling. It would be ever so kind of your shitty self to remember that the waitress did not fucking cook the food, their feet probably fucking hurt, and you are probably the millionth Douche to yell at them today for a bullshit reason that isn’t their fault :) pretty please? Thank you and have a nice fucking day

Same goes for people at the counter, taking orders at fast food places fyi.

anybody else have this problem where customers get annoyed when you ask them a question that is literally necessary to filling their order? 

Like for some reason I have had this exact interaction with like 6 customers today:

Me: Hi, what can I get for you?

Customer: Yeah, I’d like a latté.

Me: Okay, great! what size?

Customer: *sputters with rage*

like why u mad tho???? ???

Can we please fucking admit that personality tests when applying for a retail/service job; whether by design intention or mere prioritization of neurotypicality; are de-facto discriminatory against mentally ill/non-neurotypical people and should be outlawed?

And anyone who defends them with “But muh lazy workers/efficiency” deserves a fist in the fucking face from all the non-NT/mentally ill folks who’ve been kept from even a low-level job by that shit.

Nobody deserves to fucking starve because they can’t meet your neurotypical standards, all you little libertarian twerps who care more about markets than human life can FUCK OFF!

anonymous asked:

If you were to advise young girls on what to look out for in guys, what would some of the things be?

typically my advice is to stay away from men for as long as possible. Odds are that the majority you run into, will hinder your growth. So my advice is to look out for men, rather than look for anything in them.

Cultivate your self-esteem, your passions, become financially independent.

Cultivating self-esteem: i can’t stress this enough, it must be there before you go near men. Most men will damage your self-esteem. It doesn’t even have to be deliberate on their part. It can be something like them not responding to your communication needs and you will turn that inwards, and see that as reflecting your self-worth.

My advice to brown girls is typically the same as well. To build those things first. But then i guess, reluctantly, I do advise them to date. Because they will often be discouraged from dating. And in my experience, no woman from our cultures has managed to get away with not being paired to a man without breaking ties, no matter her initial reluctance. And your parents pickings will definitely be far worse, in that the aim of parents choosing for you (whether anyone admits it or not) is to continue patriarchal control over you.

So coming to what to look for in men:

1) look for how he reacts when you disagree with him. This is the biggest thing imo. Does he get irritated. Does he budge. If he does budge is it reluctant “I guess you’re right”. Do things seem to always be followed by a but. What you want is someone who is impressed and admires you. Not someone who is annoyed that you know better or more, because that would mean he wants to maintain himself above you. Also, men can admire you for being intelligent or opinionated but still manage to reduce you for it: either objectify you or infantilize you. E.g., aw its so cute she knows a lot. OR it’s hot that she knows a lot. Avoid  both. 

2) is the conversation conducive: it’s more than if he is just listening to you and can regurgitate what you’ve told him about yourself. Does the convo have a flow. Do you get to say what you want. Does he hear you out, ask questions, show interest.. or is he just waiting for an entry point in the convo where he can insert himself in order to relate to you. Because the first one feels wholesome whereas the latter, while okay, will make you feel empty in the long run. 
(and i personally like it when i have said what I want, and the guy still stays quiet on the topic until I ask him so ‘what about you’. I like it when they are quiet and don’t speak unless instructed.. this applies for any men in my life not just dating  lmao but anyway)

3) look for how he talks about other women.. what it is that he talks about when he talks about women. Look at how he looks at other women. Ask him about the women he has been attracted to and how he became attracted to them/what about them he liked. Ask this for real women. Ask this about fictional women. Always be mindful of whether he is objectifying women or not. If he is objectifying women, he’s not capable of real love so forget it. How to know whether he is objectifying women or not? Ask yourself if you or any women you have known would become attracted to a man in the same way/same scenario that he is describing to you.

4) Porn, dominance & attraction: this one is by far the hardest for me to describe. It does go in with #3, about how they talk about women. You can ask the guy about his current porn use, age at first exposure. What he thinks about and gets off to lol. But I have found that they give it away in their verbal language and body language. Like the example of the guy I talked about who I had asked who he was attracted to/ if he ever found someone sexually attractive that he did not find emotionally attractive. And he mentioned his boss and then told me how he did fantasize about her, then goes “you know when you wanna put someone in their place….. oh you don’t know??” If a guy “falls for you” real fast, to me that is an indication of him having objectified you. Love takes getting to know. If he seems to have a “type”, i am personally weary of those men. Any type at all. A body type, even a personality type. Because they still manage to reduce women into categories. You cannot and should not fall in love with a category!

5) how he makes you feel about yourself: related to the above. It’s his responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. I have stated elsewhere that I believe, that unless a woman has clinical type self-esteem issues, the average woman’s self-esteem issues in a relationship actually stem from their male partner’s failures. Their male partner is either objectifying other women which comes across subtly in conversations or the way they behave. So if you are not feeling good about yourself while you are with him, you’re not crazy. He is shit. 

6) age old how he treats others: how does he treat people in the service industry. Does he get annoyed when his food at the restaurant takes longer. Life is a game of patience, and he won’t live if he doesn’t have any.

7) sense of responsibility: does he pick up after others. Not just himself. But others. This is observed. But also you can tell from the stories he tells you. What does he do for others? It’s the kind of thing where eg., the house phone rings, who has to go for it or else it goes unanswered? Would he put the dishes in the sink or leave them around for someone else to pick up?

8) what is he telling you about himself: related to above.. When we tell stories, we all want something taken away from them about ourselves. What is he trying to get across? Most men’s stories are about a display of power and dominance, rather than having been helpful. Take notice!

9) How he relates to other men and things deemed feminine: does he have a lot of guy friends (these men are a lost cause lmao). If he tries to distance himself from anything that is related to women, stay away from that man. E.g., he doesn’t watch click flicks… or  watches them cos they are good to watch when you don’t want to think so much. Also relating to #3, you can also check that from how he views female characters in movies, TV shows and books. If he sees their perspective or not. I remember one guy told me that robot girl from ex-machina was crazy, and that’s all he had to say, and i wanted to bash his head in cos of how dumb his thoughts on the movie were….. If he can’t see from the female perspective in shows and books where it is literally spelled out, he lacks emotional depth and empathy. 

I can’t think of more. Over the years I have mentioned quite a few as I came across! But I haven’t interacted much with men as of late so it’s not so fresh anymore. Just look for any display of dominance and dehumanization, both in words and in actions. I do have an advice tag

HOW NOT TO BE AN ASSHOLE

• do not purposely make a mess of restaurants tabels, hotel and hospital rooms, or public bathrooms. Someone has to clean that and it’s not cute or funny.
• if you need to throw away a beverage make sure it’s empty or dispose of the liquids in a way that won’t inconvenience the person taking out the garbage. There’s nothing worse than having to clean the inside of a filthy can or getting mystery liquids on you.
• if you miss the garbage can, pick it up! It takes 2 seconds and it’ll save someone else a lot of time later.
• if youre staying at a hotel or hospital gather all your trash to one central spot before you check out. Housekeepers have a set amount if time to clean a room and they don’t have time to play find the trash.
• do not make someone else clean your bodily fluids! Despose of them correctly and don’t try to flush things that should not be flushed!
• if you have the opportunity to give positive feed back about the housekeeping or sanitation services, do so! It’s easy to forget that someone goes behind you and cleans but they do and they almost never get compliments or positive feedback. Hearing something good for a change might make their day or maybe even get them a raise!
• also be nice your sanitation workers! It’s shit pay and not a fun job but someone has to do it!! They’re people too and they deserve respect and dignity!