individually and romantically ;~~~;

Myths about Soul Mates

1. The relationship should be natural, easy and uncomplicated: The truth is that all relationships take time, effort, commitment and energy. You need to make time for each other, to do fun things together, to work on communication, and to learn to negotiate and compromise.

2. The relationship should be conflict free: Because we are each individual and unique we all disagree with others at times, so conflict is natural, and not to be feared. In fact, conflict can force us to confront our differences, and to grow as individuals, and as couples too.

3. Soul mates are romantic: Real life is not the movies, and love can be expressed in countless different ways, and still be genuine. Look out for all the signs that show your partner cares, and don’t be disappointed if they’re not “the stereotype”. Don’t force them to be something that is maybe nor their style.

4. You should always see things the same way and have the same opinions, outlooks and beliefs: You both have different backgrounds and have individual brains so you’re going to sometimes differ in the way you look at life. That needn’t be a problem – you don’t want to be clones.

5. My soul mate will always like and love me: Consideration, respect and a concern for your partner are symptoms of a loving relationship. But being rude and disrespectful or irresponsible are not endearing qualities that build relationships. Instead, we need to give to get – as it’s not “all about me”.

Chart Ruler & Life Purpose

Your life purpose is to [Ascendant/chart ruler] [house].

Sagittarius Ascendant, Jupiter in 4th - your life purpose is to expand internally.
Taurus Ascendant, Venus in 8th - your life purpose is to accumulate secretly.
Cancer Ascendant, Moon in 11th - your life purpose is to nurture socially.

Leo Ascendant (sun): exist, shine, radiate, proceed, become, create
Cancer Ascendant: (moon): feel, shift, evoke, sense, nurture, understand
Gemini/Virgo Ascendant (Mercury): think, understand, reason, learn, teach
Taurus/Libra Ascendant (Venus): share, accumulate, negotiate, beautify, love
Aries Ascendant (Mars): initiate, challenge, conquer, survive, accomplish
Sagittarius Ascendant (Jupiter): mentor, experience, expand, inspire, discover
Capricorn Ascendant (Saturn): endure, earn, mature, evolve, strengthen
Aquarius Ascendant (Uranus): change, innovate, progress, rebel, defy
Pisces Ascendant (Neptune): transcend, absorb, enlighten, subsume, illude
Scorpio Ascendant (Pluto): transform, empower, destroy, control, recreate

Chart ruler in 1st: openly, directly, independently, fully, actively
Chart ruler in 2nd: securely, materially, satisfyingly, increasingly, selfishly
Chart ruler in 3rd: communicably, mentally, mutually, inclusively, resourcefully
Chart ruler in 4th: internally, psychologically, comfortably, familiarly, emotionally
Chart ruler in 5th: creatively, individually, personally, romantically, playfully
Chart ruler in 6th: routinely, collaboratively, dutifully, healthily, cleanly
Chart ruler in 7th: interpersonally, receptively, closely, committedly, admittedly
Chart ruler in 8th: secretly, controversially, intimately, radically, transformatively
Chart ruler in 9th: adventurously, fearlessly, philosophically, freely, wildly
Chart ruler in 10th: publicly, successfully, recognizably, powerfully, boldly
Chart ruler in 11th: experimentally, inventively, uniquely, socially, communally
Chart ruler in 12th: spiritually, unconsciously, intrinsically, painfully, karmically

*Supplementary to the chart ruler & in the same sense, you can also look at the ruling planet of the sign / house your North Node is in.

Saturn contacts Inner planets 🍒

Saturn contacting Mercury 
-Mercury conjunct Saturn, Mercury square Saturn, Mercury sextile Saturn, Mercury trine Saturn, Mercury opposite Saturn

The individual inherited a wise mind. A knowingness was generated in childhood, and easily known to other people. The mind is innately calculative, focused on mastering subjects and proving intelligence. The threat here is mental insecurity, the mind constantly doubting its talent. There is a good nature for study and potential for accomplishment in academic credential. However good intention can become lost when youth and elder cross paths. All the inspiration for responsibility doesn’t always translate. The individual may study well for one semester then fall into bad habits, see no end point, then drop out. Or maybe the individual studies compulsively in one haul, exhausting and burning out the mind. Bouts of melancholy may be ritual. But so is intellectual mastery

Saturn contacting Sun
- Sun conjunct Saturn, Sun square Saturn, Sun trine Saturn, Sun sextile Saturn, Sun opposite Saturn

When the Sun falls into Saturn’s shadow the individual may fear self expression and outpouring creative life force. There may be deep shame, embarrassment, or panic regarding rejection or criticism. Harsh encounters with authority figures may put the individual on the constant defensive. Often the influence of the father is profound with this contact. The influence may have been inspiring, insightful, and wise. Or rather severe disinterest, neglect, or critique from the father shaped self contempt and insecurities that express more potently as the personality develops. But the promise of wisdom is always rich here, and intense inner work can generate a self expression that comes as closely to the soul as humanly possible 

Saturn contacting Moon
- Moon conjunct Saturn, Moon opposite Saturn, Moon sextile Saturn, Moon square Saturn, Moon trine Saturn

The vulnerable Moon can become very overwhelmed when she contacts Saturn. Here she is at her apex and her lowest, forced to battle with intense oppositions. The difficulty here may be emotional experience, and the application of intense fear or shame expressing the inner state. But this may be expressed in ulterior ways, the individual can be exhaustingly moody, often evoked by fear, traumatic memories, and insufficient coping mechanisms. Saturn contacting the Moon indicates dissonance with the mother, whereby she may have been authoritarian, emotionally detached, or critically invalidating. The individual could have been made to feel that their emotions were invalid, and may have been forced to self soothe. A feeling of aloneness and lack of safety tends to accompany childhood. This contact is further suggestive of competent and natural parenting. The individual takes on the task of parenting with powerful reverence and responsibility. With Saturn contacting the Moon the person may seek out older partners who soothe deep and penetrating feelings of early abandonment or betrayal

Originally posted by l-a-d-y-d-a-r-k

Saturn contacting Venus
- Venus conjunct Saturn, Venus opposite Saturn, Venus square Saturn, Venus trine Saturn, Venus sextile Saturn

Aphrodite can be intimidated when forced into Saturn’s territory. Themes around romantic impotence and solitude that repeat themselves in these contacts reflects a ferocious lack of self love in the individual. It can be extremely difficult for the individual to establish self worth, especially in the social and romantic spheres. Feelings of inadequacy replay themselves in self doubts about appearance, social conduct, and worthiness in relationships. These insecurities may result in preoccupation with appearance or social image and reputation. This can create a dangerous pattern of fleeting romances because the individual feels they deserve less. However fleeting these may be, because the heart is innately wise here, and so troublesome relationships accompany profound lessons, and short term heartbreak ends quickly due to unconscious foresight. There is the potential for developing capital from art or image. The individual is likely to marry somebody regarded for their success. 

Saturn contacting Mars
- Mars conjunct Saturn, Mars opposite Saturn, Mars trine Saturn, Mars sextile Saturn, Mars square Saturn

The ambition here can be powerful, however obstructed by erratic energy reserves. The individual can experience intense periods of lethargy, struggling to find passion and motivation for dream. The future can look bleak, non existent. During other times, energy can be overabundant, thrusting the individual into streaks of panic, hyper vigilance, and hyper activity. The focus here can be good, and the potential for carving out long term aspiration is rich. Sexuality may be the shadow here, often repressed or contained, humiliation or revolt may accompany physical orgasm or sexual expression. Femininity may be obstructed. The will is intense with Saturn-Mars. The individual makes an inspiring parent 

Saturn contacting Jupiter
- Jupiter conjunct Saturn, Jupiter square Saturn, Jupiter sextile Saturn, Jupiter trine Saturn, Jupiter opposite Saturn

When Saturn contacts Jupiter the individual may feel unworthy of happiness, or suspicious when fortune arrives. Often states of elation are accompanied with fears the experience ending and anxiety about the awaiting opposing state. When opportunity reveals itself, the individual can be paranoid and doubtful, considering the stream of broken promises once heard and believed by the individual - often by one or both of the parents. The desire to prove the intellect with academic credential can be characteristic of Saturn-Jupiter. There is tremendous talent for excelling in higher education. However the road to doctorate considerably volatile.



Lowly zombie. Do you honestly hope to save the world?

A list of terms and simple definitions for the CGl world


DD- Daddy Dominant
MD- Mommy Domme
CG- Caregiver
LG- Little girl
LB- Little Boy
LO- Little One
CGL- Caregiver & Little
DDlg- Daddy Dom & little girl
DDlb- Daddy Dom & little boy
MDlg- Mommy Domme & little girl
MDlb- Mommy Domme & little boy
ABDL- Adult Baby Diaper Lover
AB- Adult Baby
DL- Diaper Lover
LDR- Long Distance Relationship
SSC- Safe Sane consensual
RACK- Risk Aware Consensual Kink
BDSM- Bondage/Discipline Dominant/Submissive Sadism/Masochism
D/s- Dominant/submissive
NSFW- Not Safe For Work 
SFW- Safe for Work
SO- Significant Other


Little- a little is a person who mentally (or physically) feels younger than they physically are. The term little is often a broad spectrum. It can cover all types of individuals who feel they are younger than their physical age. A little is roughly around the ages of 0-12. We don’t set these ages in stone because not every little has an age and not every little feels they represent the above listed age. 

Middle- a middle is a person who mentally (or physically) feels younger than they physically are. The term middle can fall under the little broad spectrum term. It is also known as Lolita & Nymphet. They tend to be mentally older than littles, more around the teen ages. So around 13-17. Once again ages are not set in stone because not every middle has a set age and not ever middle feels they represent the above listed age. 

Dominant- An individual who is the “top” in a BDSM relationship or BDSM spectrum relationship. They tend to be the person who makes the rules, and doles out the punishment. They are also the protector of their submissive. 

Submissive- A Submissive is an individual who is the “bottom” in a BDSM or BDSM spectrum relationship. They tend to be the person who receives the punishment and have to follow the enforced rules. They are the protected.

Switch- An individual who enjoys being both a Dominant and a submissive. They are known as a switch because they “switch” roles sometimes within their relationship or with a different partner.

Daddy Dom- a person who prefers a masculine identifying title, sometimes takes on the role of a Dominant but can be the submissive as well. Usually the caretaker for a little.

Mommy Domme- a person who prefers a feminine identifying title, sometimes takes on the role of a Dominant but can be submissive as well. Usually the caretaker for a little. 

Caregiver- a non gender specific title that represents someone who sometimes takes on the role of a Dominant but can be a submissive. Usually a person who takes on a care taking/caregiving role to a little. 

Master- A term that is used for a person who tends to only strictly play a Dominant role. They can be the Dominant of a little, submissive, or pet. 

Big- Another non gender specific title that represents someone who sometimes take on the role of a Dominant but can be a submissive.

Little space- The head space a little finds themselves in during their transition, regression or when they become their little persona. Some littles are always littles and always in little space. For others it’s something to regress into.

Middle space- The head space a Middle finds themselves in during their transition, regression or when they become their Middle persona. Some Middles are always Middles and are always in middle space. For others it’s something they regress into. 

Agender- Someone who has no gender. They are genderless.

Gender Fluid- A person who flows between gender. They tend to not have a set gender preference. One day they feel one way, another day they feel another way.

Gender Neutral- A term that does not specify gender. It does not favor male nor female. 

Genderqueer- An umbrella term for all genders other than man and woman, or someone who simply identifies as another gender, a queer gender.

Sister- A term commonly used in Poly families, for a person who Identifies as female and is an addition to the CGL group. They can also be a little, middle or ABDL but not always.

Brother-  A term commonly used in Poly families, for a person who identifies as a male and is an addition to the CGL group. They can also be a little, middle or ABDL, but not always. 

ABDL- As stated above ABDL means Adult Baby Diaper Lover, people who identify themselves as an ABDL will commonly wear diapers and prefer to be treated as more infantile/baby/toddler ages. If a person wants to be treated like a baby but does not want to wear diapers they will call themselves an AB if an individual enjoys wearing diapers but not being treated like a baby they will often refer to themselves as a DL 

Androgynous- A style of clothing or appearance, androgyny is also a type of genderqueer, the state of being in between man and woman, or both man and woman.

Demiboy-Someone partly a boy, and partly something else, without defining that other part.

Demigirl- Someone partly a girl, and partly something else, without defining that other part.

Sexuality Terms & Defintions-

Poly- An individual who is capable of loving more than one person at once. They prefer the company of multiple people but not necessarily all at once. They also are not always sexually involved with their poly family members. It can be a non sexual relationship. 

Heterosexual- A person who is sexually attracted to an individual of the opposite sex.

Gay/Lesbian- (better term other than homosexual???) An individual who is attracted to the same sex.

Bisexual- A person who is sexually attracted to individuals in the same sex as well as the opposite sex. 

Asexual- A person who has no sexual feelings or desires towards another person.

Pansexual- An individual who has the ability to be sexually attracted to a person no matter their gender. 

Aromantic- A person who lacks the desire or interest in romantic feelings towards another person.

Panromantic- An individual who has the ability to be romantically attracted to a person no matter their gender.

Demisexual-  An individual who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.

Demiromantic- An individual who only experiences romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection beforehand.

Kinks and their definitions-

Pet Play- a form of role playing that involves a person taking on the role of a pet and another taking on the role of the Master. Common examples are kitten, puppy and pony.
Teacher/student- A form of role play that involves a person taking on the role of a student and the other the role of a teacher and acting out a sometimes sexual scenario. 

Rope Play- A kink that is not always sexual in nature but involves a person being bound, suspended, or tied in some fashion with ropes.

Impact Play- A kink that involves spanking, flogging, cropping, paddling, or anything that involves “impact” on the body. (most commonly used in the CGL realm as spanking) This kink is not always a sexual kink.

Wax Play- A kink that involves playing with heated and melted wax in safe conditions. Where an individual willingly pours hot wax (specialty bought for this purpose) on their partner or themselves. Certain waxes need to be used to prevent harm. This kink is not always sexual in nature.

Age Play- a type of role play where an individual acts out an age younger than they physically are. They are playing out a role. Because of this they are not considered littles. 

This list of terms and definitions has been CAREFULLY created by our blog and team. PLEASE do not use this as your own work. You are welcome to re-blog and share but do not steal our hard work! Please and thank you!

-The Playground-

i don’t even care if dan and phil’s relationship is platonic or romantic, as individuals they hold so much respect, adoration compassion and dedication for the other, they genuinely care for their wellbeing and happiness because they are just good sweet boys who’s relationship is full of love

so let me get this straight

agender = no gender.
agender individuals are inherently LGBTQ+.
people: yeah, sure, no problem there!!!!!

asexual = no sexual attraction
aromantic = no romantic attraction
we say these individuals are inherently LGBTQ+
people: wait just hang on now ://// no :////

so…. someone want to explain that???? aros and aces are inherently LGBTQ+, same way agender people are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ same logic!! so why is that so hard to accept??

Neptune eyes ~ real eyes realize real lies

Neptune’s placement in the natal chart suggests a space of life where we see what other people can’t. Our perception here is psychic and unifies with the whole cosmos. It could be where we behave unusually, creatively, or people comment that ‘I cant get through to you’. We deny logic and material experience where the Neptune mist blows. Something special is revealed to us, something inexplicable and enchanted. But Neptune can also tell us lies, whispering hollow promises, or staining consciousness with desires of escapism, substance indulgence, spiritual fanaticism, or sexual gratification. The music is here. It’s where other people are deaf. But it’s something you can hear. So sometimes we don’t talk about these things. Everybody will call us delusional. Here we are awake where other people are asleep.

Neptune in the 1st house: the self is cast in a divinely mystical light, but this is foggy, the sacredness of the self is elevated, the image of the self may be completely out of touch with reality

Neptune in the 2nd house: self worth may be fluctuating, at times intimately sensitive with all things, at others the separation and emptiness becomes a longing for material consumption, the individual can see opportunities for developing wealth that other people cannot 

Neptune in the 3rd house: unspoken words of other people, and the messages of divine voices circulate in the mind. the individual learns in a very unusual way that may be difficult for educators to grasp. they are pulled between dimensions of consciousness, often seeming in a state of confusion, understanding the language of many things

Neptune in the 4th house: the messages of divine wisdom from the inner guides are projected in the outer world, it tends to be filled with psychic activity. there is an insatiable feeling of abandonment. the mother image is contained in fantasy here, she wanted goddess as her mother

Neptune in the 5th house: romance is the tea party of life. they are soaring on infinite melodies. they can perceive their own eternity when they are holding a baby. the inner child speaks the words of the holy cosmic child. life is an enchanted stage 

Neptune in the 6th house: sacrifice feels sacred with neptune in the 6th. there are imaginary ailments and anxieties that other people cannot soothe. daily life is filled with hidden, although secret miracles. a perfectionism that is so threaded with idealism that could never materialize 

Neptune in the 7th house: the eyes of god reflect through the faces of everybody they pass. divine light is cast over those in contact, this gives the individual a romantic and kind view of the world. there may be betrayal because the individual idealises people so richly 

Neptune in the 8th house: the perception for the spirit world and the dead is active, the individual may be a medium or be frequently visited by ghosts. there are feelings of abandonment and distrust in the self that become projected onto others, the individual imagines people to be more deceitful than they are

Neptune in the 9th house: sinking into spiritual symbolism and longings to create intimacy with the divine. indulging in many esoteric pursuits becomes the voyage of life. there may be religious fanaticism or complete separation from spiritual awareness

Neptune in the 10th house: the profession is an ideal and the person secretly longs to heal humanity in godly way, out of touch with what is humanly capable. it may be difficult for the person to decide upon a career because the dream is always calling in many directions

Neptune in the 11th house: friendships serve as a source of spiritual energy for the person. they can see collective humanity dancing in unity, friends make them feel at one with god. this person feels the injustice of the world on an intense degree

Neptune in the 12th house: the inner world calls with a honey voice of seduction, promising a source of comfort if only the individual would withdraw completely and lose touch with the world. the feeling of spiritual discontent seems impossible to satisfy


Announcing a REBOOT of @astudyincanon an online book club dedicated to queer readings of the Holmesian canon and other works by Arthur Conan Doyle!

We’re STILL here.  We’re STILL queer.  And this time we’re starting with Canon.

If you would like to explore the romantic relationship between Holmes & Watson with like-minded individuals, then you are welcome here, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

We will be kicking off the online book club with a read-through of A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle.  It’s available to download for free, and details are available on the blog!

After the conclusion of BBC Sherlock, several people expressed interest in reading through the original canon together to decide on our own interpretation, rather than waiting for other adaptations to interpret for us.  We thought this might be the perfect time to revisit the book club.

We hope you will join us!

Come check out the blog and read the “About” page to learn how to get involved!  We will start reading the first chapters this week!  Feel free to hop right in!

Signal Boosts appreciated!

anonymous asked:

I wanted to say that I love the posts you made about writing about siblings! Most of all when it comes to same gender siblings, very often in fiction I see the siblings having issues with each other or not getting along. Or the sibling is mostly absent during the story. I would love to see more of siblings being super close, I know some sets of sisters in my life who are super close like they are friends, and it is lovely to watchh. Why do authors tend to avoid close sibling relationships?

Thank you for your kind words! Siblings in stories are a huge passion for me, and close siblings in particular are relationships I want to see in more stories.

Unfortunately, the problem doesn’t stem from avoiding just close siblings but from avoiding close family as a whole. I don’t have any studies or papers examining the idea, no statistics I can report; what I do have are guesses based on observations and conversations with other writers about why they’re writing what they’re writing.

Myth: Main characters must have tragic backstories to be interesting.
Somehow, the idea that in order for a character to be interesting, their backstory has to be tragic has become an integral part to story-telling. Taking it one step further has been the growing idea that tragic = the loss of a person or persons close to them, and who closer than family? Family is an oasis of people who know where a character comes from and theoretically are hoping for the best for them. They’re the people who are supposed to accept a character entirely and are obligated to always love them. That loss writers are looking to capitalize on may be death, but it could also be those individuals rejecting the character, shredding that expectation of love. Having encountered plenty of folks in their own lives and others for whom those tenants and core qualities of family haven’t held up and the pain that comes from that, writers’ first thought when seeking out a tragic backstory often land in the alienation from or destruction of the character’s family. Destroying what may have been something happy for them creates tension and tragedy from which a character may find their drive for the story or send them to a state of being from which the writer wants to watch them grow. More to the point is that by destroying the family, the character’s background all of a sudden has a better ability to become fraught with mystery, the best, fastest way to make a character interesting.

What writers don’t take into account:
Writers must evaluate why they think their character has to have a tragic backstory. If it’s an interesting character they’re looking for–someone compelling that the audience is interested in getting to know–there are better, more compelling ways to do it than by destroying their family. If that’s is how a writer has chosen to hide the Family Secrets™, they perhaps need to rethink why that trope specifically is what their story hinges on and not on a thousand more believable reasons for the knowledge to be inaccessible. More importantly, writers must begin to realize that their character can still be tragic while retaining their family. Just because they’re close with their siblings doesn’t mean that the tragic thing that happened is negated by the joy they get out of being with, talking with, or in general interacting with their sibling. In fact, it might be an excellent relationship to use as a vehicle for the character’s growth.

Myth: Family members hold main characters back from their adventures.
Family is often thought of as this immovable stake in the ground of time and place. They are the constant in a character’s life, a place and people they can return to. They are the refuge, but also the people who have the character’s safety at heart. They’re more likely to ask characters not to go (for a variety of reasons including that the family needs their help at home, the family doesn’t want them to die, the family disagrees with the endeavor, etc.). Writers feel like if the character were close to their family, they might not actually get to participate in the story the writer has planned because they’d never leave those people behind or the family would never let them leave.

Additionally, family as a main character’s greatest weakness is absurdly common. They are the ones to be abducted or killed first by those looking to lure a character somewhere or inflict the most pain on a character or force a character to step their game up a notch. Because of this, writers remove family before the fray even happens, intending to strengthen their characters in the process and make them immovable themselves, unable to be coerced.

What writers don’t take into account:
Family doesn’t have to mean helpless. Give your familial characters some agency! Writing close siblings will actually give a character a huge strength in that they always know they have someone who has their back. If they let their sibling in on what’s going on and what they’re struggling with, that sibling has an opportunity to help. The idea that a character’s adventure and struggles must be kept secret from their family has fed into this–the “I don’t want to make them worry,” conundrum. It’s another situation that writers need to examine about their story and find out what’s stopping them from writing in these characters. If the answer is ever “because it’s easier,” the writer has a problem.

Myth: The power of friendship is not the same as the power of siblings.
The power of friendship and love triumphing over the powers of evil and hatred is a theme nearly every story perpetuates, whether the writer intends to or not. In the same way that humans create categories and hierarchies of what’s more important or more worthy, they’ve also managed to create the idea that the relationship between friends and the relationship between siblings doesn’t hold the same amount or type of power. Love conquers all, right? But familial love doesn’t count because it’s a requirement between family members–it comes with being family. It’s not as authentic or impressive or whatever as love grown between unrelated individuals (whether platonic or romantic) because it’s perceived as being a “gimme,” something they don’t have to work for.

What writers don’t take into account:
I’m not sure writers have really, and I mean really, evaluated how hard it is to maintain a relationship with one’s siblings, let alone keeping it a good one. Seriously. When you’re growing up, you see each other all the time! You know what bothers them, and it’s actually mildly amusing to push those buttons and see them struggle with the reaction they want to have and the one they’re allowed to have because you’re family. You see each other succeed and do absolutely amazing things; you see what each other is capable of, but you also see them mess up and it’s easier to hold the grudge against them for it because they should have known better. As we become adults and move out on our own, ideas about what’s right and okay are expanded past what the family rules were, but those rules still linger and tinge our perceptions, even of each other, and maybe a style of living a sibling has grates on your nerves because that’s not how we were raised or whatever. Our schedules become so full that communication falls by the wayside and suddenly, five years down the line, you realize that this person you used to talk to all the time is a total stranger. Keeping that love and affection between siblings is hard work and it should never ever, ever be taken for granted. Unfortunately, it is. All the time.

Myth: Close siblings don’t have conflict and are therefore uninteresting.
Story is conflict, right? Events are happening that characters have to deal with, people with different ideas about right and wrong are blocking the way, friends are making dumb decisions, and family has chosen to never own up to the problem that runs in their veins. Writers have come under the assumption that close relationships that are healthy and benefit both characters can’t contribute to or create conflict and therefore are dead weight in the story. And no dead weight can survive to the final draft.

What writers don’t take into account:
Who says people in close relationships can’t have conflict? Who says siblings who love and support each other can’t support each other right into a bad plan? Who says close siblings can’t make dumb decisions? These are two separate characters who happen to have grown up together, which also means that while they can love and support each other, they can also see the flaws and dangerous leaps of logic they each make more easily than other people. They have plenty to contribute to conflict, including coming into conflict with each other. “Close” does not mean “perfect relationship.”

I’m sure there are other reasons, too, such as not having any experience and therefore not really thinking about it or not feeling confident in portraying that kind of relationship with accuracy. I think the biggest thing writers need to do is ask themselves why they think they couldn’t have a sibling in their story and evaluate their own reasons to see what’s holding them back. Understanding our excuses can help us better address them and face new challenges head on.

I hope this has given you some insight into the issue, Anon. Good luck! -Pear

can Lena Luthor’s storyline be Asami Sato-inspired? not this bs of will-she-won’t-she-turn-evil-because-she’s-a-luthor. 

We already have Lex Luthor as Superman’s archenemy. why not try something new and have Lena Luthor be one of Supergirl’s greatest allies and one of Kara Danvers’ trusted friends

because honestly, a Super and a Luthor working together for the greater good has the potential of being one of the most beautiful things that could happen in the show

anonymous asked:

Hi! I love Dan and Phil, individually and together, but I think they're not trying to hide a romantic relationship. Don't you think that after ten years, they'd finally come out if they were? I mean there are a lot of gay couples on youtube and it would not be that big of a deal today than it was in 2007. Just wanted to hear your opinion on that. Have a nice day!

before i answer, disclaimer: i have ADD and this post might get messy since i find it difficult to concentrate and phrase myself properly (and english isn’t even my main language!)

well, i’m not gonna try and force my own views down your throat or anything but let me ramble a bit about why i wholeheartedly believe dan and phil are in a relationship;

i think i’ll start with the very fact that they recently moved to their third shared home together. say whatever you want to say but if they were indeed just friends, considering they’re in their mid 20s and 30 dont you think they’d want to move out separately and get going with their lives? and dont you think they wouldn’t be so keen on making comments about keeping living together in the long run (or forever….  a forever home say whaaaat). 

now, you might argue with the good ol’ “but they benefit from living together regardless of relationship status”. fair enough. however, let me point out that it has became as clear as day especially in 2017 that they share a bedroom. i don’t know about you but i don’t think two strictly platonic friends who just moved into a duplex would want/ need to share a bedroom unless they’re uhhh mayhaps in a relationship and love to cuddle? i know a wild concept…….

and i’m sorry but if you want to argue against the shared bedroom fact with the shoebox phil claims is “his room” i have nothing to say but shake my head. no way phil actually lives in that room that has no windows and no space to move around and why is the entire room crammed in this one corner… where is the rest of the room……. and why is that room has no personal touch to it…. it’s literally just AmazingPhil props and things……… feels much more like a set to me than an actual bedroom. (also we saw phil’s mirror and hair straighter in the moon room aka “”dan’s bedroom”” which i think we can all collectively agree is simply “the bedroom”)

another thing that strikes me is how dan joins phil’s family vacations (especially in 2017) and how he seems to become part of the family much more than anyone who’s classified as “platonic” to phil would have. dan is just as much of a lester as cornelia is? dan joins the lesters just as much and as frequent as a spouse would. in fact, dan joins the lesters so much on their adventures that if im not wrong, the longest dan and phil spent apart in 2017 was not more than a weekend? that’s whack!

now these were just three things that were very prominent in 2017 regarding the belief whether dan and phil are in a relationship or not that were “behind the scenes”as in going on in their personal lives, kind of? i mean sure we see the  shoebox on AmazingPhil and the moon room in some liveshows and we get pictures from their shared vacations but now i will move on to what we see on screen across their channels

i’ll start this with a throwback to the boncas bc i think that damn speech is enough to debunk any “uwu platonic” argument, ever. i don’t think phil would have done THAT if dan didn’t mean a whole lot to him and i think saying the universe would rip in half in they go apart is a concrete proof that they themselves can;t and don’t want to imagine a life in which they are not joint at the hip. 

moving on to gamingmas, which i will forever find so significant?? they broke a lot of boundaries during that month regarding of invading personal space, a bit of a more mature humor (esp on phil’s account), casual touching and a whole lot of flirting and a lot less (almost none at all) looks straight into the camera to show they are aware this is filmed or to do a “wtf is this lol” kinda thing. gamingmas was a turning point. i will forever firmly believe they did all of that in an attempt to normalize this kind of behavior on screen (and it definitely worked!)

dan and phil continued the vibes of gamingmas well into 2017 and the casual touches, lingering gazes and flirting (as well as expressing affection towards males in specific) is now the normal running theme over at dapg to a degree where we don;t even lose our shit anymore. we joke and meme but nothing strikes us as overwhelming bc we are “used” to it, which i think dan and phil aimed for i genuinely think they wanted to get to this stage of showing more comfort and more intimacy on screen without everyone and their mothers going whack over “pHaN iS rEaL!!!!!1″ and for it all to come across as oh so casual and chill! 

so now you ask, “they go through all that why not just come out lol”

WELL, in my honest opinion, dan and phil will never officially come out as a couple. and you know what, maybe things would have been different if The Video didn’t leak and get spread around (twice, mind you.) but things happen and one thing lead to another and after all they have been through and how they were shaped as people and their experiences with guarding and protecting themselves and their privacy any sort of statement about whether or not they are a couple or just friends or even paid actors  (let alone labeling themselves and their sexuality bluntly) is highly unrealistic. so if you are waiting for a coming out video or whatever to convince you that won’t ever happen i’m afraid. 

dan and phil value their privacy and they have every right to do so.

so yes, maybe in the early days of 2009/10 they were very flirty all across social media and on camera and maybe just maybe you need to consider the few following things regarding why they stopped with that:

  • The Video leak. like honestly? can’t and won’t find any more justified reason to feel the need for privacy and shielding yourself and making comments on how ‘het’ you are  for instance just to brush off the most intimate thing imaginable that since has been glorified and memorized by millions(?) of people who were never meant to even know this video and that declaration of affection even exists. is it scary. and i fully understand the “no homo howell” phase and how awkward they appeared together on camera for awhile, very very proud of how far they;ve came esp in 2017 though. 
  • the radio show! is it a little tied to The Video leak since the second leak happened when the radio show was still fairly new but before they moved to london (into their second shared home coughs) they weren’t all that big, you know? but with the popularity of the radio show came the increasing popularity of their youtube channels and their followers/ subscribers count went up and up and their content became exposed to a much larger range of audience and these new audience/ fans were not familiar with the past (at least not at first glance) and dan and phil needed to leave “good” impression (not that being flirty and dumb wasn’t good impression but it wasn’t all that professional and now they’ve grown big enough to be in need of professionalism.)

these two things were a turning point to how dan and phil view themselves on camera and their content itself (phil sticking to the AmazingPhil PG persona) (dan with his struggles with creativity and integrity zzzz) and really, considering their story  (and how well known the early days are, and how dan and phil are aware to that…) it suddenly makes perfect sense why dan and phil aren’t in any sort of rush or need to ever come out.

however though, i think that the “post baking universe” as in the halloween 2016 baking video, the boncas speech, the european leg of tatinof, pinof 8, and gamingmas were a prep to this switch in dynamics we have seen in 2017 and that keeps very steady so far. feels as if late 2016 was so “wild” bc they were testing the waters and our reactions to see if they wanna pull through with this change. 

so, even if they will never officially come out, their dynamic both on and  off screen screams that they are literal boyfriends and they don’t need to spell it out for us to know and see. anyone who cares enough about their relationship status and look at their content with it in mind can very obviously and easily see how in love these two dorks are. same love from the early days of 2009/10 only now it has shifted into a steady, secure, safe, most wonderful thing and you can see that their love towards each other in filling their hearts with pure joy.

so yeah, dan and phil are definitely in a relationship and that doesn’t seem to change anytime soon, if ever at all.


Poly Terms

I’m trying to compile a list of terms related to polyamory for newcomers to the community and anyone else who’s interested in learning about it (I practically had a google tab open whenever I was reading about poly stuff). If you think anything should be added or changed, please let me know.

  • Bigamy: being married (in a legal sense) while already married to another person (usually illegal)
  • Bipoly: a shortened term for bisexual polyamorous
  • Closed relationship: any configuration in which partners are not allowed to seek other partners outside the configuration
  • Compersion: the opposite of jealousy; an empathetic response to a partner’s happiness with their other partner(s)
  • Hierarchical relationship: a polycule configuration in which there is a primary partnership which takes priority over one or more secondary arrangements 
  • Metamour: your partner’s partner that you are not otherwise involved with non-platonically
  • Monogamish: a term used to describe a relationship which is a closed couple most of the time, but has exceptions
  • Monogamy: the practice or state of having a non-platonic relationship with only one partner
  • Non-platonic: a relationship that has a romantic and/or sexual nature
  • Nonmonogamy: blanket term which covers several types of interpersonal relationships in which an individual forms multiple and simultaneous sexual or romantic bonds with informed consent from all involved
  • NRE: acronym for new relationship energy, the feeling of euphoria associated with the beginning of a relationship
  • Open relationship: any configuration in which partners are allowed to seek other partners
  • Polyamory spectrum: a continuum of monogamy to polyamory
  • Polyamory: the philosophy or state of being non-platonically involved with more than one person at the same time with informed consent from all involved
  • Polyandry: polygamy in which a woman has more than one husband
  • Polycule: a network of people who are involved in non-platonic relationships and their metamours
  • Polyfidelity: three or more people in a closed relationship
  • Polygamy: the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time
  • Polygyny: polygamy in which a man has more than one wife
  • Polysexual: someone who has the capacity to be attracted to multiple genders, usually more than two (frequently confused with polyamorous)
  • Relationship orientation: a person’s identity as related to their preference for monogamy or polyamory
  • Serial monogamy: not included under the polyamory umbrella; multiple monogamous relationships one after the other
  • Swinging: a configuration in which a couple has a relationship that is open strictly for sexual flings
  • Unicorn hunters: a couple looking for a woman to be their “unicorn” (usually has a negative connotation)
  • Unicorn: a bisexual polyamorous woman who is open to forming a (usually closed) triad with an established couple; referred to as a unicorn because women as described above are extremely rare

snugsbunnyfluff  asked:

Hello, I hope you're well. I'd like to ask you about conflict! I've read lots in writing books about conflict. I know conflict is needed in a story and for the characters. But, my problem is, even though I kind of understand conflict I don't know how best to use it. I was wondering if you could provide breakdowns, maybe from your stories or other published stories. Sometimes seeing things spelled out helps me. It's okay if this is not possible. Thank you for your time, and for this fab blog í ½

Aww, thank you so much, love!  This is a great question.  In the writing community, we talk a lot about conflict without really defining what it is – and further, what types of conflict there are.  So I’ll list and explain them, as well as give some examples.

Types of Conflict (and Their Strengths)

There are five main types of conflict in fiction:

  1. Man vs. Man – Situational or relationship conflict between two or more characters.  (Think The Dark Knight or Beauty and the Beast.)
  2. Man vs. Self – Otherwise known as “internal conflict”.  Conflict between a character’s opposing feelings.  (Think Revenge of the Sith or Silver Linings Playbook.)
  3. Man vs. Nature – Conflict between the main character/s and the elements – providing for the self or defending against animals, weather, or illness.  (Think Life of Pi or Robinson Crusoe.)
  4. Man vs. Society – Conflict between the main characters and the “system” – the government or ruling majority.  (Think The Hunger Games or Hidden Figures.)
  5. Man vs. Technology/Supernatural – Conflict between the main character and a non-human force.  (Think 2001: A Space Odyssey or Gremlins.)

Like the different tenses or POVs, none of these options are inherently better than the others – but they do work better for different stories, so it’s important to know what they are and how to make the most of them.

I’ll now outline each style briefly, save for #5, which is fairly self-explanatory.  If you have a question about this style for any reason, though, let me know and I can make a separate post.

1. Man vs. Man

Man vs. Man conflict is the most easily recognizable conflict in fiction, because your characters are always aware of it happening.  There are three types of this conflict:

  1. Situational M-vs-M – Two characters have opposing desires or responsibilities, but only one of them can get what they want.  Leslie wants to build her park, but Ben wants to cut funding.  Wreck-It Ralph wants a medal, but Vanellope wants to use it to qualify for racing.
  2. Moral M-vs-M – Characters have a moral disagreement that must be resolved in order to maintain a relationship or make an important decision.  Luke wants to change Vader for good, but Vader wants to change Luke for evil.  Tony feels the government should keep the Avengers in check, but Steve thinks they should maintain individual control.
  3. Personal M-vs-M – Characters in a relationship, romantic or platonic, disagree on some issue or hurt each other in a way that threatens their relationship.  Noah wants to be with Allie, but Allie feels a commitment to Lon.  Rayna wants to marry Deacon, but Deacon can’t overcome his alcoholism.

Man vs. Man conflict is most popular in romance stories, as well as Good vs. Evil stories involving heroes and villains.  It’s best for stories that are character-driven, or employ themes of battling ideals.  This conflict is shown through arguments, escalating to Big Decisions with long-term consequences.  Here is a post on how to resolve interpersonal conflict.

2. Man vs. Nature

This kind of conflict is relatively straightforward, although it covers a variety of plots:

  1. Survival – The main character/s are left to the elements and must keep themselves fed, sheltered, and defended against anything that would harm them.  This is one of multiple conflicts in The Hunger Games, most prominent when Katniss and the tributes are in the arena – and during this time, Man vs. Man and Man vs. Society are also present.
  2. Illness – The main character/s are ill and must battle their illness – if treatable, battling for survival, and if terminal, coping with the inevitable.  This is a primary conflict in The Fault in Our Stars.
  3. Beast – This is kinda like Man vs. Man in that it is very singular, based on a conflict between two forces: a human and some sort of “beast.”  Of course, this beast doesn’t have to be an animal – it could also be a natural disaster, like a storm, or a spreading disease.  Anything from a white whale to a pandemic qualifies as “the beast”.

Man vs. Nature conflict is often coupled with Man vs. Self to create the best survival stories, facing topics of vulnerability, isolation, and fatality.  This conflict is best shown in sequences of varying “wins” and “losses” to Mother Nature, each one increasingly strengthening the character, as well as teaching them something about themselves or life.

3. Man vs. Self

This is one of my favorite styles of conflict, because it requires the deepest character development and provokes more philosophical questions.  The most common internal conflicts:

  1. Head vs. Heart – A tale as old as time: your MC’s heart is telling them what they want, but their mind is telling them the opposite.  This is sparked by an inciting incident (e.g. a new opportunity or love interest), which is battled back and forth internally until a decision is reached.  Typically the heart is painted as the right decision, but it can really go either way.
  2. Self vs. Self-Image – In this style, your character battles with themselves over their very idea of self – who they believe they should be versus who they instinctively are.  This is also perpetuated by outside forces, such as family members or love interests, who offer their input and confuse the MC.
  3. Faith vs. Science – This title is figurative, not literal.  Basically, this is a conflict in which your MC struggles with their beliefs (political, religious, etc.) when new information is introduced.  Life-changing events spark a question, which the character at first avoids, then assesses, until they arrive at a new conclusion or identity.

Man vs. Self is best for stories that tackle social, political, or moral issues.  It is often couples with Man vs. Nature or Man vs. Man, as a character’s other conflicts cause them to reassess their own beliefs, desires, or identity.  I believe, personally, that all stories should include some kind of Man vs. Self conflict, since the MC should be changed by the end of any novel.

4. Man vs. Society

This is a popular conflict in modern literature, especially with the rise of dystopia (and the state of unrest in social politics today).  There are two different portrayals of this conflict:

  1. Individual Conflict – In this conflict, one character, by some new circumstances, is put into a new role that “separates” them from society (e.g. they become disabled or discover a disability, they experience their first instance of victimhood or discrimination, etc.) and find a new moral position alternative to society.  This conflict is used in Mean Girls, as Cady Heron finds herself on multiple tiers of the social hierarchy at school and must decide where she aligns herself.
  2. Organized Conflict – This is the Man vs. Society we recognize from Star Wars, The Hunger Games, Divergent, and other “Us vs. Them” stories.  This can be led by Man vs. Man conflict between the leaders, such as with Harry and Voldemort, or Gandalf and Saruman.

Man vs. Society is great for high fantasy, dystopia, or any story central on social conflict.  This conflict drives most antiheroes or spy/assassin characters with no fitted role in the system.

So your first step is to decide on one or a few types of conflict to include in your story – not so few that the story idles, but not so many that there are no “resting points” in the novel.  Once you’ve picked them out, take some time to outline how they’ll develop.  Write it down and keep it as a reference for later, as you’re working through the story.

That’s all I have for now!  If you have any further questions, hit me up and I’ll respond shortly ♥️️  Happy writing!

If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

Top 10 K-Dramas: 2016

The edit above is not in the order of my top 10 but the list below is. This was my first time making an edit so I was just trying to make it all fit, lol. Please feel free to tell me your thoughts on these dramas, I’d love to hear that ya’ll think!

1. Descendants of the Sun (Song Joong Ki, Song Hye Kyo, Jin Goo, Kim Ji Won)

  • This was the first drama I followed along with while it was airing and it cemented my stay in kdrama-land so I’ll forever be grateful for that. I loved everything about this drama from the cast to the plot, I thought it was unique and funny and so very enjoyable to watch. A soldier and doctor falling in love in the middle of a crisis with brilliantly amusing scenes and secondary characters? It’s a win for sure. I think it found the perfect balance between drama, action, romance, and comedy. Also, the OSTs in the drama were amazing; Talk Love by K.Will will forever be one of my favorites. 

2. Goblin (Gong Yoo, Lee Dong Wook, Kim Go Eun)

  • So I’m cheating a little with this one because it didn’t finish airing in 2016, but this is currently my favorite drama so I felt obligated to put this on my list. This was my first real venture into a fantasy kdrama and I love everything about it. The aesthetics and cinematography is unreal, the cast is fantastic, the beginnings of romance is natural, but the bromance and friendships are probably my favorite things about this drama. It’s honestly just so witty and fun and the performance by each actor is amazing. It never fails to make me smile or laugh. Since it’s by the same writer as DOTS, it has the perfect combination of fantasy, romance, drama, and comedy. Also, the OSTS are wickedly good in this as well.

3. The K2 (Ji Chang Wook, Im YoonA, Song Yoon Ah)

  • Despite the drama surrounding the characters and it’s obvious problems story-wise, I loved The K2. One of my favorite genres is action-romance and this drama was packed with both. JCW is brilliant as always in acting but his action scenes were amazing. I thought the plot was pretty unique and the lead three gave great performances (I know people thought YoonA’s character was useless, but I didn’t; the story literally wouldn’t exist without her, lol). I have to praise Song Yoon Ah for her performance especially because this was the first time I empathized with the villain; I certainly didn’t agree with everything she did, but they gave a depth to her character that I really appreciated. There are some things I’ll never understand regarding the drama, but I don’t want to spoil anything for others so I won’t mention it here.

4. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo (Lee Sung Kyung, Nam Joo Hyuk)

  • Again, this drama has yet to end, but I honestly think that this is one of the most brilliant dramas of 2016. It’s a feel-good, coming-of-age drama that balances romance, comedy, and friendship and that honestly delivers each week. It tackles first love and all the innocence and insecurities that comes with liking someone unattainable, it explores friendship between women and the unbreakable bond you can make with life-long friends in college, it shows characters with unhealthy issues taking the right steps to get help, and it shows how guys should treat girls and how naturally you can fall in love with your best friend. Most of all though, it tells us that it’s okay to fall out of love with your talents and what you have been doing your entire life; it’s okay to take a break, try new things, and find yourself. Brilliant cast, brilliant writing, and brilliant performances.

5. Reply 1988 (Lee Hye Ri, Park Bo Gum, Ryu Jun Yeol, Go Kyung Pyo, Lee Dong Hwi)

  • I’m late to the game but there are not enough words to describe what a good drama this is. I love that it focused so much on family bonds rather than romantic love. More than the individual families, the entire block was one big family that supported and took care of each other. I laughed, I cried, and I was happy when they were happy. The line between friendship and family is easily blurred in this drama because I swear the kids were more like family than they were friends. The parents’ friendship also made me happy because for once there was no evil parent or scheming; they all loved their kids and were such good friends with each other. There were so many lessons to learn from in this drama, it’s A+. Also, the goat noises made my life. 

6. Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo (Lee Joon Ki, IU, Kang Ha Neul)

  • I had/have a love-hate relationship with this drama. This was my first saeguk drama and I did really like a lot of things about it. The cinematography was beautiful, it really was so well done. I liked most of the characters, especially early in the show when it was more funny and cute. And the actors, even the idol-actors, did well in my opinion. What I hated was how they tried to jam-pack the Chinese version into the last 4 episodes, the insanely terrible editing that just made it seem like the characterization for leads did not align at all with what we knew about them, and the ending. I truly detested the ending; it was sloppy and unnecessary. If they didn’t cut that one scene from that ending, I would have been satisfied but they chose to do a disservice to the characters and for that reason alone, I’ll probably never re-watch this drama. 

7. Age of Youth (Han Ye-ri, Han Seung-yeon, Park Eun-bin, Ryu Hwa-young, Park Hye-soo )

  • I loved everything about this drama. The friendship between the Belle Epoque girls made me smile; they grew from being so awkward with each other to being such good friends. They teased, fought, and took care of each other like any good roommates would do while living their own lives. The drama did brilliantly in highlighting each girl’s unique struggles and allowing them to grow because of them. There is nothing I didn’t like about this drama; it was funny, interesting, and just really good. The Belle Epoque girls are special. 

8. The Legend of the Blue Sea (Lee Min Ho, Jun Ji Hyun)

  • I like drama a lot but mostly because of JJH’s character and performance. I’ve never failed to smile, laugh, or feel second-hand embarrassment for her character and that just really made the drama fun. I’m not really a big LMH fan, I think he’s an decent actor, but I think this is probably my favorite role of his. He’s actually doing really well and I really enjoy his character. One of my main issues is the plot and direction of the drama; I think it’s been a little sloppy and some things just don’t make sense and are poorly explained. Also it’s taking forever to get through some of the sub-plots and it honestly just feels like a waste of time. To be quite honest and in my opinion, if the leads weren’t as big stars as they are, this drama would not be doing as well as it is now.

9. Doctor Crush (Park Shin Hye, Kim Rae Won, Lee Sung Kyung, Yoon Kyun Sang)

  • The beginning of this drama was brilliant; PSH’s character was the epitome of a bad-girl who was also kind to her friends. I loved the plot; a girl with an attitude problem with no care in the world changing her ways and becoming a brilliant physician to not only prove people wrong but also to get revenge on the people that wronged/hurt her? Yeah, sign me up for a drama like that. The secondary characters were great, there really were some comedic scenes with them. I liked the medical part of the drama and PSH’s friendship with her childhood best friend and the other doctors. What I hated what that she never really got her revenge; they went with the most predictable way of the guy getting out of it for a medical drama and I hated that. He wasn’t even sincerely apologetic for what he had done. And honestly, I also hated that she never really called out step-mother for being such a terrible person. I had higher expectations for this drama. 

10. Cinderella and the Four Knights (Park So Dam, Jung Il Woo, Ahn Jae Hyun)

  • This was definitely more of a feel good drama for me. I love the “cinderella” trope so this was just really cute. Park So Dam was just adorable and she made the story fun. There was nothing overly special about this drama; it was fun and light, there were some pretty-boys, and a sweet best friend. All the makings of a classic feel-good drama. My favorite thing would probably have to be the OSTs in this drama; they were all just so good and I still re-play some of them. 

Listen, I love our girls together and posts about how drastic they’re being on behalf of each other are funny, but it’s also important to remember the other important aspects of their characters and lives.

So just a reminder—

1. Lena bought Catco for more reasons than just making Kara feel better or to be with Kara. 

She’s an intelligent business woman and knows that the positive press she’s been getting is instrumental in her end game of making L-Corp a positive force, and it would actively turn to negative press with Edge at it’s helm. It’d be really really bad for her.

Lena buying Catco has been described in Supergirl press as her doing something big for Kara, but she would not have actually ended up buying Catco if there were not massive benefits for doing so. 

In fact, in an alternate universe in which she didn’t know Kara but was still getting good press from Catco and still was concerned about what Edge would do with Catco (a.k.a. the same situation but without Kara), she’d still buy it.

Others have already spoken more thoroughly about this idea but it bears repeating.

2. Kara was not singlehandedly brought out of her depression by Lena, and she wasn’t regularly lashing out at everyone except Lena. 

The only times that Kara was seen to react defensively were when she was confronted with how closed off she’s being—which is something that we’re lead to believe has only just been happening this episode since they’ve been giving her space. She hasn’t been walking around saying mean things to people out of nowhere, she’s just been keeping herself from feeling.

And Lena does not get any of that because Lena does not confront Kara. When she implies that there are other reasons that Kara is avoiding her, it’s about Lena’s role in it all rather than what it actually is for Kara—cutting herself off from everyone. So Kara just reassures her because she isn’t being prodded about what it actually is. It being Lena’s fault is nonsense, and it’s really easy to say that.

And when Kara says she quit her job, Lena doesn’t say “Um, what the hell?? Why????” she just gives her a reason to come back.

Which brings me to my next point.

Helping people is Kara’s main concern a lot of the time, and currently the only thing she is letting herself care about.

And Lena plays a big role in bringing Kara a little bit back to herself for this reason. But she’s the final push (other than Kara’s pushing of herself, which is important to remember, too) out of many little pushes that have helped Kara move forward.

James confronts her first and it forces Kara to say what she’s been thinking the whole time—Kara Danvers doesn’t help people. And he says things that she isn’t ready to accept now—that Kara Danvers does help people, as a reporter—but that will help her later when she has more reasons to believe it’s true.

Alex’s confrontation is rather messy and unsuccessful at getting through to Kara, until the end. Those final words, “Kara Danvers is my favorite person. She saved me more times than Supergirl ever could. So just think about that while you’re trying to get rid of her.” are exactly the counter argument for what Kara is thinking, and Kara is forced to sit with it.

When Kara talks to J’onn, she voices her deeper fear (as an argument for what Alex said), “I can’t help people if I’m broken.”

She thinks Kara Danvers is broken. And if she lets herself be her, she’d be failing Earth. Her mother. Her birth family. Her Earth family. Because she can’t help people that way, and that’s her purpose.

But J’onn gives Kara a specific example of how Kara Danvers has helped him. And—importantly—because of her grief. 

And when Lena asks Kara to go back to Catco, she’s proving that Kara Danvers can still help people, right now. This is a concrete thing example of something only Kara Danvers can do for someone. (Which is one example of why Kara really needs Lena to only see her as Kara Danvers, for the time being.)

It’s Kara’s entire support system that works together to help Kara.

1. James forces Kara to voice the idea Kara has—that she has to only be Supergirl because Kara Danvers can’t help people— so they can argue against it.

2. Alex gives a general counter argument that Kara has to consider, does consider—Kara Danvers helps her more than Supergirl.

3. J’onn gives a specific example for how Kara Danvers has helped him in the past—Kara Danvers’ grief helped him deal with his own.

4. Lena offers a specific example for how Kara Danvers can help her in the present—Kara Danvers is the only person who can help Lena learn to run Catco.

All of these are vital to Kara’s progression, vital to getting her to want to “wake up.” There is no one person who gets through to her. 

It’s everyone who cares about her helping her to move forward, together, and that’s kind of why it’s great.

So forgetting that would be a massive pity.

Posts prioritizing supercorp stuff over their other character content may make us laugh or feel good about their connection, but they are also often inaccurate to the full picture, and we should remember that.

It’s just as important for us, the fans, not to lose the individual within the romantic relationship as it is for the writers.

VENUS and the SUN part 2

There are only a few possible combinations between the sun and venus, here are the descriptions of the blends from LEO VENUS to SCORPIO VENUS: 


Sun in Gemini / Venus in Leo

Emotion is heightened, with the subject aiming for a fulfilling and rewarding relationship. He or she may be boastful towards, and about, the partner. Generous, with a sense of occasion and a need for sexual and social variety, this is a fun loving, if not always faithful, partner. Leo loyalty, however, will help counter Geminian duality. Here is a rewarding and lively friend. Extravagance and impulse buying can cause financial problems.

Sun in Cancer / Venus in Leo

In this placing an extrovert exuberance is added to the Cancerian expression and emotional needs. Constancy and loyalty are important, but Cancerian moodiness and snappiness may combine with Leo bossiness and must be controlled if the individual is to relax and enjoy this sphere of life. Nevertheless, this is a caring and warm- hearted friend. Special collections, maybe of silver, are good investments.  

Sun in Leo / Venus in Leo

If an over-extravagant expression of emotion can be controlled so that dramatic scenes do not cause problems, here is someone who will look up to and admire a partner, giving much encouragement and support. If bossiness can be exchanged for diplomacy and tact, partnerships should be rewarding. There is usually no lack of sexual enthusiasm. Money will be spent to enhance the quality of life.  

Sun in Virgo / Venus in Leo

This placing bolsters the self-confidence of the rather shy Virgoan. The tendency to be over-talkative when nervous should be controlled. Natural Virgoan modesty can easily clash with Venus in Leo showiness, both sexually and image-wise.This is a lively friend who will want to organize occasions for everyone’s benefit. Occasional extravagances should be enjoyed rather than viewed as reasons for guilt.

Sun in Libra Venus in Leo

Venus rules Libra, so there will be some Leonine traits, and the influence of Venus will be strong. Generosity is usual, and if love and affection are lacking there may be a tendency to try to buy them with elaborate presents. At your best, the individual is romantic with a love of good living, and will give much to a partner both through warm-hearted affection and sex. This is a considerate and sympathetic friend. Although extravagant, money is usually managed quite well.


Sun in Cancer / Venus in Virgo

The Cancerian tendency to worry will be directed toward the partner, and they may find it a little difficult to express feelings as freely as is desired. Cancerian moodiness and the critical tendencies of Venus in Virgo should be recognized, and one must learn to relax into relationships and derive real pleasure from them, especially as Cancerians have so much to give in this sphere of life. This is a kind, if somewhat critical, friend. Reluctance to part with money is a common characteristic.  

Sun in Leo / Venus in Virgo

Leo emotions and exuberance are toned down and occasionally aloofness can mask sexual inhibition. Leo bossiness and Virgoan critical tendencies can cause problems, so must be consciously recognized and controlled. There are usually good powers of communication within relationships, and aiming to use these positively will be rewarding. Shared interests and work projects are particularly stimulating. They make a lively and rewarding friend. Flair for investment is common, but the modest needs of Virgo will clash with Leonine extravagance.  

Sun in Virgo / Venus in Virgo

Self-confidence, especially related to sexual appeal, is not strong. Virgoan modesty will present a charming challenge to prospective lovers, but one should learn to break down any barriers that may come between the self and fulfillment in all aspects of relationships. Money will be spent with some degree of caution.

Sun in Libra / Venus in Virgo
This is not an easy combination, for Libra needs love and harmony while Virgo will tend to be shy of expressing feelings and responding to love. As Venus rules Libra, there will be a powerful element of Virgo present. They can be a lively, talkative, albeit indecisive, friend. Financial affairs are approached in a practical way.

Sun in Scorpio / Venus in Virgo

This powerful but tricky combination can make one obsessive about sex. Conversely, there may be a clinical attitude, or a feeling that sex is dirty and undesirable. Much will depend on how the Scorpio Sun is aspected, and on the Moon, Ascendant and Mars signs. At its best, this placing makes for an energetic friend and thoughtful partner. Financial flair is considerable.


Sun in Leo / Venus in Libra

This placing may tend to make one rather laidback. Leonine generosity is increased, and there will be a tendency to put the loved one on a pedestal, increasing the possibility of hurt should the partner fail to measure up to the exacting standards required. The pleasures of the good life will be important and enjoyed, and creative flair may be shown in design or music. As a friend, you will make quite sure that every event is an occasion. A great deal of money must be earned, so that it can be spent!  

Sun in Virgo / Venus in Libra

This placing often helps the shy, not so self-confident Virgoan to relax and enjoy love relationships and other luxuries. It will also ease the harsher, more critical side of Virgo. There is often flair for creative handiwork such as woodcarving or dressmaking, and all such potential must be fully developed. Here is a helpful, sympathetic friend who will enjoy doing good turns for others. You will want to work hard for every penny earned, but will not be averse to enjoying the pleasures that extra money can bring.

Sun in Libra / Venus in Libra

The influence of Venus is very strong in this placing. This placing will considerably strengthen all the attributes of Libra, especially if the Sun and Venus are in conjunction. Money may be extravagantly spent.

Sun in Scorpio / Venus in Libra

This adds a colorful, romantic side to the intense passion of Scorpio, increasing sympathy and understanding of partners and encouraging the warm expression of feeling. The liking for comfort and luxury is enhanced, but the resentfulness of this placing can combine with Scorpio jealousy and must be controlled. Here is a good friend, but one who may become suspicious. Generosity and financial flair will be present.  

Sun in Sagittarius / Venus in Libra

This gives a sense of u relationship as much as the chase. (Not always the case for people with this Sun sign!) The power of Venus will help to quell Sagittarian restlessness and encourage a philosophical outlook. Financial security is of above-average importance, since creature comforts are sought more than is usual for most Sagittarians.


Sun in Virgo / Venus in Scorpio

A conflict can arise between Virgoan modesty and the sexual desires of Venus in Scorpio. While you may be extremely attractive sexually, you may not want to appear so!  If self-confidence and relaxation into sexual enjoyment can be developed, the influence of Venus will do much good for the possibly sexually inhibited Virgoan.This is a wholehearted friend who may become overcritical at times. Money is managed well.

Sun in Libra / Venus in Scorpio

On the whole, Librans should gain much from this placing of the planet that rules their Sun sign. It will give them an air of romantic mystery, making the women inclined to be femmes’ fatales. The increased sexuality of this combination weakens the otherwise wholly romantic Libran outlook on love, and adds an intensity and sense of purpose that can otherwise be lacking. Jealousy is strong in this one. This is a friend who wants to enjoy all aspects of life, and will have the capacity to do so. They will make money and spend it.

Sun in Scorpio / Venus in Scorpio

The passion of Scorpio will have some very romantic overtones, which will add to one’s sexual attractiveness. Scorpio jealousy will be increased, as will a tendency to become obsessive about the partner’s every action. Moneymaking acumen will be present.

Sun in Sagittarius / Venus in Scorpio

The lively, fiery passion of Sagittarius is increased, with the need for independence clashing somewhat with the Scorpionic intensity of feeling. They may feel pangs of jealousy from time to time and loathe them, doing everything possible to rationalize these difficult feelings. Awareness of the conflict will help to counter it. The Sagittarian enjoyment of life will be enhanced; here is a friend who will be a marvelous host, full of suggestions for enjoyable experiences. Financial risks will be taken, with mixed results.  

Sun in Capricorn / Venus in Scorpio

The love life will be taken very seriously, and perhaps the subject will refuse to realize that they have some deep, intense and very powerful feelings. There will be loyalty once committed, but there can sometimes be a conflict between emotion and a practical approach to life, resulting in the delaying of commitment. Friends will be put to the test in some way before being fully accepted. Steady financial growth is important and will be achieved.

source: parker’s astrology book

Sagittarius Risings 🌐

At birth, the physical body of those with Sagittarius on the Ascendant was blessed with the sparkling and mutable fire that was rising on the East. They’re upbeat kind of people, ready for anything and very optimistic, as you may have already heard. Everything they start in their lives is rather embedded in Jupiter’s incandescent faith and scintillating enthusiasm, and this is why Sagittarius people are traditionally regarded as “lucky”, although this a characteristic more “applicable” to those with a Sagittarius Sun. And even then, it is not really about luck as it is about confidence in one’s self.

In some way or another, such optimism is highly transmitted to those around Sagittarius Risings. Then, they may be perceived as dauntless and even as imprudent. Also, because of Jupiter’s dimensions and nature, this planet’s blessings upon one’s body may produce someone who’s spacious or roomy. On a personal level, the house exalted by Jupiter’s presence describes what characteristics may be magnified.

Sagittarius Risings project themselves as wise and somehow enlightened. They have large amounts of knowledge and experience to pass on. Faith is expressed in various ways, and one’s religion may shift sincerely as the years pass, for Sagittarius’ fire is mutable. They individualize themselves through their consciousness’ erudition and through their expertise in some field of knowledge. There may also be tendency to excessive and impetuous behaviours, because of the combination of Jupiter’s amplifying energy and the first house of instincts and immediate action. Sagittarius Risings also tend to have a rather broad perspective on life, although this may be diminished in some way, for Sagittarius is also about focusing one’s energy in a specific perspective, much like a centaur’s magic arrow is aimed for a target.

Jupiter/1st house: a highborn enters a crowded courtyard with gentle steps; all impressed eyes are magically drawn to their figure. Inexplicable tendencies of drawing attention wherever one goes. There’s something about this special someone. This is very different from a Leo Rising that makes an effort to be noticed by their appearance in the sense that this Jupiter receives much unwanted attention. One’s body is blessed and strengthened. The ability to focus one’s energy on a quest for one’s objectives is boosted. There may be great interest in expanding one’s knowledge for one’s personal use or gain, for the identity is linked to the ability to accumulate information.

Jupiter/2nd house: a minister lays between golden cushions; all around, jars and pots overflow with an abundance of fruits and wine. One’s identity is linked to one’s perspective of fortune and wealthy way of living. This Jupiter has high standards for themselves. This is someone who works hard instinctually to achieve such standards. Expansion of one’s business and wealth is favoured by one’s ability to foresee financial situations and opportunities. Careers dealing with money may be a recurrent “possibility” in one’s life.

Jupiter/3rd house: a person stands among their interessed friends, talking delightfully of their religious beliefs. The ability to teach and inform large groups of people with fresh and brand new ways of conveying information and communicating. This is someone with a free mind who doesn’t tend to care about social standards and taboos. Careers linked to future tendencies and technologies are favoured by one’s ability to keep in touch with large groups of people.

Jupiter/4th house: a priest presides a beautiful mass to a large group of believers, much like generations and generations of their ancestors. The family is embedded in religious matters and vice-versa. This is someone valued by their loving and sensitive nature, specially if Jupiter’s in Pisces. The family is daily blessed by this person’s ability to nurture and forgive. There’s a instinctual need to be in touch with religious and spiritual figures; feelings are be infused with faith and optimism. Cancer’s water pool glitters and shines with Sagittarius’ piercing arrows of light.

Jupiter/5th house: a lucky one gets a jackpot in a casino; sirens are lit; the hall is filled with champagne and cheers. Games of love and games of money are tempting. The individual is instinctually drawn to parties, sex, sports and games maybe to the point of exaggeration. Artistic careers are favoured, for there may be much popularity. Very romantic and courteous. People value this individual for their vitality and ability to conquer. One’s confidence is radiant.

Jupiter/6th house: an expert consultant sits by their computer, organizing a company’s monthly schedules and plans. Practical and logical service through patience and reasoning. Information is accumulated and, then, translated into practical codes; organized. There’s an instinctual need to be disciplined and to be ready to serve another’s problems. The rhythm is slow, but constant and stable. There may also be some interest in studying health: nutrition, medicine, pharmacy or nursery. The point is to transform other people’s routine and lives into something better and more practical.

Jupiter/7th house: a rising political influence holds a small party for their friends; many people come, but they don’t know each other, only the host. Popularity and diplomacy are key aspects for this active Jupiter. The ability to exchange information and to exert wide political influence is notable. People can’t help but wish to be close to this enthusiastic and charming individual. This is someone who loves demonstrating genuine interest in other people’s lives. A loving example of politeness and pose.

Jupiter/8th house: a wanderer sits lonely by a cliff, contemplating its fatal depths; the wind blows swiftly with the mountain’s wise and ancient words. Jupiter’s expansion is projected inwards, producing an introspective and observant individual. An unexpected universe of fantastic knowledge is built inside the mind, but only those who prove themselves worthy will be allowed in. This is someone who’s very private and suspicious of other people, keeping their wisdom to themselves until security is developed in the relationship. There may be gains related to inheritance through one’s family.

Jupiter/9th house: an old traveller returns home after many years spent in every part of the world; people gather all around to hear what they have to teach. A wise individual, valued by their ability to teach and to tell right from wrong. This is someone whose mission may be to help people find true happiness in their lives through spiritual and educational orientation. Information is accumulated from political and cultural history, specially that from foreign lands. Identity is connected not only to the idea of studying and obtaining knowledge, but being actively praised for it.

Jupiter/10th house: a magnificent statue is raised in a noble city; the individual being honoured is already dead. Jupiter’s mental expansion is materialized, structured and grounded. This is someone who instinctually portrays themselves as being always available for work and service. Hard-working, meticulous and detailed, one’s ability to precise and to study wide problems is valued in the financial and material realm. Being so socially disciplined and responsible may produce personal tension considering Sagittarius’ adventurous impulses there in the first house. However, success and social acknowledgement are to come, should one persist.

Jupiter/11th house: a gentleman bows gently to a lady and asks her hand for a waltz; the ball is gorgeous and dreamlike. Establishing partnerships and contracts is easy for this Jupiter. This is someone great at producing strings and ties between people and companies, uniting all things with beautiful laces. An idealist, one’s wise enough to actually be able to apply divine and human rights in one’s daily life or career. People value this Jupiter for their ability to bring peace and harmony to relationships and social situations.  

Jupiter/12th house: an ancient sea spirit observes the slow turning of the world from under the surface, predicting drastic future events. Mysterious and private, this is someone who’s able to analyze and foresee people’s behaviours through observation. Sensitivity and delicacy are hidden behind thick sheets of demonstrations of aggressiveness and spiritual power. Unconsciously, people deal carefully with this Jupiter, for it tends to overflow with fixed spiritual energy. Artistic expression is hard, impactful, cruel and pure. Who are you after all?…

Thank you for reading! I hope that helps in some way.