two types of the signs, mostly based on people i know
type 1 - “i’m an aries!”, loud, starts driving before everyone has their seatbelt on (or before people even get in the car), loves cooking but usually just buys everything from the store and pretends they put hard work into it, hard to tell if they’re stupid or smart.
type 2 - takes 100 selfies in a row, does really cool makeup, doesn’t believe in school, “this musical artist is SO under appreciated.”
type 1 - down to earth, has neat handwriting and doodles in class, patient, bird-lover, likes making flower crowns, laughs a lot.
type 2 - show-off, amazing memory, can be an edgy people-hater, loves yelling, gives people weird nicknames.
type 1 - two-faced, feels like they need something in return for their actions, cares more about bagels than people, the friend who everyone worries about.
type 2 - loves reading, kind and supportive but awkward about it, the type of person you call when you need advice, snappy when they’re being interrupted, watches 5 tv shows at a time.
type 1 -down for literally any adventure, cries or has a breakdown while eating, doesn’t realize some things they do are harmful to themselves but can sense when others have a problem.
type 2 - talks very fast, takes on any task without a problem, loves talking about themselves, can probably do 10 backflips in a row, moody, sends smiley emojis in every text message.
type 1 - attention-seeking, wants everyone to respect them, says “lol” out loud, laughs at their own stories but sometimes forgets to listen to others, animal lover, a good role model.
type 2 - genuinely cares about their friends and checks up on them always, super chill and easygoing, fashionable, gives great hugs, someone you go to when you’re sad.
type 1 - shy, gentle, awful at explaining things and you really never know what they’re talking about, offers everyone gum, knows all the lyrics to every song they listen to.
type 2 - anxious about tiny things but ignores huge problems, cares so much about others that it gets annoying, likes to redecorate or organize their room for fun, loans you a pencil and forgets to ask for it back.
type 1 - movie expert, likes when people laugh at their jokes, untrustworthy but somehow you trust them anyway, casually shares deep secrets or personal information randomly like it’s no big deal.
type 2 - doesn’t like opening up or sharing feelings, artistic and individualistic, doesn’t have problems with anyone or anything.
type 1 - calm/quiet and very open minded, loves the ocean, nice but when provoked they turn into a whole other person (who is terrifying), very passionate about their interests.
type 2 - doesn’t ever know what’s happening, suspicious and questions others’ motives, either loves someone or hates them, never shares secrets. ever.
type 1 - plays at least 3 musical instruments, likes being right, theater kid, extrovert one minute and introvert the next, opens up to others and immediately regrets it.
type 2 - angsty teen attitude, has strong opinions, blames problems on others, maybe has a heart deep down?
type 1 - makes fun of everything, the most extroverted friend, pretends like they don’t care about others’ opinions but deep down is extremely self-conscious, forgetful, funniest jokes.
type 2 - honestly? a real fucking pain in the ass.
type 1 - feminist, nature lover and very free spirited, knowledgeable and factual, has a silly side, cool hair, can listen to all your problems but will never know what to say.
type 2 - can be cold but they are just trying to protect themselves, has one character/idol that they would literally die for, has probably made up all of the funny stories they tell because they want others to like them.
type 1 - extremely honest but can doubt their beliefs since they try to get along with everyone, generous when it comes to material but will not give up themselves to others.
type 2 - understanding, shy extrovert, great with advice but doesn’t know how to take other people’s advice (asks for help but doesn’t want to), never fully present or in the moment.
Aries: Something about you makes my blood boil in a unique, uncomfortable way, you are full of mystery. You have black holes for eyes, remarkably, that are too intense for most people to look into. You have no control over your greatness, you were born this way. Notice it and blossom. Not a single person on earth can blossom like you can. Not a single person can blossom like you will. You have great and empowering words to say in this life, make sure to say all of them without fear. You are not afraid. Be great.
Taurus: You are so lovely, the embodiment of nature, the embodiment of all the naturality in life created by the one and only, engulfing creator. I remember losing you and all nature that surrounded me seemed to shrivel and die. My heart ached when I heard the crunch under my feet of every dead leaf I walked upon. It brought me so much pain, i felt like death. I lost my vision and a bright white light came over me, fading into a soft glow and all I could see was your face. If I was dying, this was my glimpse of heaven, it made me want to die. I would rather die with your image in my mind than not have you in such a short, sometimes seemingly meaningless life such as this one. Perhaps you were just too lovely to be with someone like me, perhaps too lovely to be in my filthy grasp. You are my glimpse of heaven. How I long to be able to tell you that. How I long to be able to sing to you and whisper you the sweet words I never did. I am so sorry.
Gemini: I feel so naked when I’m with you. You strip me of my walls, you strip me of my guarded defenses, leaving me completely and utterly vulnerable. You shatter any mental boundaries I possess. You open my mind to the awareness of a mind. You show me to simply have a mind, such a power house is astonishing. You leave me breathless with your aura and creative, rhythmic way of speaking to everyone. You introduce open mindedness like no other, freedom like no other, a genius. With you, losing my mind and falling into madness is okay, almost a necessity. In life there simply seems to never be enough time. You show me how to embrace the lack of time we all have, you show me that death is the inevitable and that its not as important as we make it. The important thing is to experience life fully, entirely, with every part of our being. To be thankful of the rare oddity, the rare adventure we have all been gifted with called life, to dance with the music of life. I swear I’m out of my mind and that’s a wonderfully beautiful thing. Thank you for teaching me that.
Cancer: I would make love to you in the sweetest, most enticing way because I deeply believe you deserve to be made love to like no other. I hope you remain soft, I hope you have the strength to. I say this even though I know you will. You have always remained selfless, you have always remained kind, somehow. I do not understand how someone can turn such pain into beauty. Your creations are just as beautiful as you are, that is so admirable. You shock people with such generosity, you are completely, utterly and naturally divine to the point you are unhealthly wanted by every pair of eyes, even the blind. I swear its like the blind regain their sight in your presence. People notice you in a crowd, don’t doubt that. People especially notice you when you think you are not being noticed. You are the most beautiful conscious being and that will never change. You have angel lips as sweet as honey, your voice is melodic. I have always ached and dreamed for you to love me. Please one day love someone like me. Your being is so lovely that I can’t help myself from hopelessly weeping. You are a walking art piece, a priceless masterpiece. I lost everything the first time I looked in your eyes. I lost everything.
Leo: Remember that people want to be like you, just as much as you want to be like them. You can be admirable of others, you absolutely can be, but live your life knowing without a doubt that you are the best there is. Countless people admire you and want to be just like you. Effortlessly you shine brighter than the sun itself and when you smile, every pair of knees weaken, instinctively and inescapably bowing down to the ingenius design you are. Your mind and appearance radiate exuberance. I pray you can fathom just how special and gifted you are because you yourself are the unfathomable. You are inspiration and ambition, the abstract dreams I have at night that inspire my creativity, that lead me to create the never before seen. You are surrealistic art, our God’s most treasured and individualistic specimen. You are not only that but also the sun that lights the entire sky, you are the sun beams that sink into and warm my skin when I stand in such brilliant light. You are the light that keeps me from opening my eyes, preventing blindness but how I foolishly dont mind and long to go blind by such greatness.
Virgo: You remind me of sleep but you also remind me of night terrors. I feel like I don’t know who you are, slightly fearing you. Seemingly the most difficult puzzle to put together. I wonder and ponder if you are the worlds never ending puzzle, if I will ever figure you out, i have never been able to entirely comprehend your depth and mystery. You are almost frightening, shockingly and startlingly enchanting. You are hypnotic and maneuver with magic. I do not know the depth of your mind and apart of me never wants to. I enjoy the enigma you are, forever intriguing and intelligent. Ask me personal, peculiar questions and I will unintentionally and completely open up to you, instinctively trusting you. Your questions are always intense yet tender, your mind must be filled to the brim with intellect and perplexing art. Your mind is a masterpiece and your soul is ethereal. Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world. I hope you can live with and fall in love with your sly mind. I am in love. May you always be yourself, may you feel everything you are meant to feel in this life and may you surface from the darkness.
Libra: You are the bittersweet lonliness that the sad and dreamy ones feel midday, swirling like the wind, leading long, lovely hair to flow, swirlingly and gracfully making your way through clothes, sending goosebumps down backs, leaving a lasting, cold and drowzy sensation. You’re the words in a book that readers grow tiresome of until finally falling asleep, leaving them with their adventurous dreams connected to the adventurous story they just took in. I see you in every free, soaring bird. I feel you in every unique and precious song that lively birds compose. You are melody, rhythm, sound, the grand orchestra. You are poetry, expression, a famous sonnet. You walk with fearlessness, you live with each lovers name you’ve ever loved written and embedded on your flashy skin. You are autheticly rare and always ready to entirely open yourself up, to let the flowers you encompass within bloom for all to see , appreciate and mesmerize. My god, do people mesmerize you.
Scorpio: I’m so lustful of you, lustful out of complete, biting love. I’ve never fallen so deeply and madly in love with a soul, It is insanity. You are full of demons that I face from loving you everyday and I can’t imagine what it’s like to be you and live with them, deep inside, haunting and strange. I have been face to face with insanity, letting your wickedness and sin make its way within me. It all makes me more infatuated. No matter how hard I try to find your core, your raw center, I can never seem to dig deep enough, I can never seem to withstand the screams, painful howls and blackness that your inner monsters let out and intensely sophocate me with when I try. When I give up, it’s like you see my vulnerability and you see it as me being submissive, knowing this is when you can strip me naked and consume me entirely, this is when you know and are proud of the secrets you keep from me, this is when you know you own me because I will fail to figure you out, i will fail to get anything from you yet continuously crawl back for something, for anything I can get from you. You have me in a trance that I can’t snap out of, you need the control because it brings you security and deep, sinful satisfaction. You experience a sense of peace in knowing that you can cause me to feel pain so that you won’t feel so alone and lost in your own. I want to make love to you and feel the pain I experience from being in love with you. I am incapable of leaving you alone, regardless of the sorrow i experience. I will never let you feel alone. I will feel this pain with you, right by your side, my ride or die. You are not alone. Maybe this isn’t love, maybe it is just madness but I’ve always been mad.. but not as mad as you.
Sagittarius: You are the book of everything, a book holding all the knowledge in existence. You are the infinity sign, you are lively, always hungry for life and full of wisdom. Youre the feeling you get on a hot summer day, laying in the center of a sweetly scented meadow, taking in every bit of the sun, not being able to suppress a tight smile. Feeling at complete peace, no worries or a feeling of weight on your back, feeling free and open in the mind. I want to be alone with you and hear you speak about all the things that go on in your head. I imagine you have a billion things to say, or maybe nothing to say, it doesn’t matter. All you have to do is exist and you are performing one of the most incredible things possible. People forget that simply being alive is utterly mindblowing in itself. You give inspiring advice and shock people with your spunk and inner lightening. I appreciate your uniqueness and ability to be open to every side of a spectrum. You are the instant, refreshing feeling you get from diving into a cool pool on a hot day, your my child hood memories, you are the embodiment of an entirely fulfilled life. Your soul has lived a thousand different lives, you will exist for eternity. You are existence itself. Live free and die free, make your inevitable mark on this world. It belongs to you.
Capricorn: no one’s ever ready for what you’ve got to offer to this world, you can do so much with so little and have an achingly powerful mind and aura. You don’t have to do anything to shock and mesmerize mankind, just be yourself. You change the world with your ambitious actions, you change people simply with your way of presenting yourself. You are intelligence, skillful and have the ability to accept time, accept that everything takes time. That’s something a lot of people can’t do. You can do so many things others can’t, but you are not flashy. You are low-key while remaing self assured. Maybe you experience a lot of self doubt, but im telling you right now, you shouldnt. Your jokes and attitude are like a fun house, utterly amusing and dirty, sometimes scary. You are full of original ideas that you can easily bring to life. I hope you know how much you actually benefit and effect our species. You have immense purpose, see that you are the greatest and anything you want can be obtained. I hope you know how attractive and special you are. Absolutely outstanding.
Aquarius: life is a lonesome experience, you understand that more than anyone. You carry the weight of humanity itself with you everywhere you go on your back. To fit in seems like a maze that is unsolvable. Your aquarius minds are unending, no limitations, you are mad men. Not only ingenius but geniuses yourselves. You obtain something no one else can obtain and this can never be taken away from you. Nobody quite understands what makes you different, you dont even understand it yourself but you feel it deep within your bones. “I do not belong here, I do not belong anywhere and I don’t want to belong anywhere.” So hard to comprehend or understand, you are utterly perplexing but so fucking beautiful. I can’t fully convey in words how astoundingly beautiful each and every one of you are. Let someone take a look into your eyes and theyll travel through space, adventuring and absorbing the sight of multiple universes. Let someone take a long look at your face and watch them get lost in mesmerization. Magnetic, mystifying, heartless, mythical beings. A world such as this one does not deserve you or your revolutionary touch. You are the lone, last star of each ending night, still shining brightly as the sun begins to rise. Glowing alone to express your individuality, glowing as brightly as you can until the sun puts you out but you are always going to be there again when the sun goes down and you are always going to be the last one shining when it rises again.
Pisces: you are hands that are made to create art, you are the creases in the hands of an infant. You are the start of life, the start of plant life, the start of a human life, the start of an animals life. You are the smoke from my cigarettes, dispersing through out the air. I hear you everywhere I go, echoing in the back of my head as a guide to being a better person. You make me want to be a better person. You are the sweet cherries around my sweet ice cream, you’re the soft, enchanting scented lotion I spread on my skin. You are the goosebumps left after a lovers sensitive touch. You are the feathers that fill my softest of pillows. You are the sweetest of piano music ever played. I love you. I miss you. You will be with me.
Speculation time: While Donald is indeed a loving, kind-hearted and protective parent as many fans know, this is a little bit different. I know parents who are literally like this. Their whole life revolves around their kids to the point that they’re all they talk about.
Donald may have spent long periods in between jobs, whether willingly or unwillingly, and all that time was spent with the boys. To the point that being away for literally less than a day already makes him feel guilty about having to work and be away. He wouldn’t have gone if they didn’t need the money.
Donald is also very family/group-oriented, as many stories portray him to be. Notice the use of the ‘we’. This outlook also makes for interesting tension with Scrooge’s more individualistic and independent personality.
This section focuses on the bare bones of each house. Later I expand in great depth on the specific combinations.
Wampus: Pragmatism. The Wampus wants real world results. It wants things that can assist these results. It will take real, immediate action to achieve these results. Oriented towards events, the exterior world, and action. Searches for advantage in everything. Searches for ways to win. Competition, winning, the real world. Proof. Logic. Action. Horned Serpent: Theories. The world aligns with their system of thought. Why is the world this way? What if it isn’t? The horned serpent considers everything. They scrutinize and analyze. They make the world fit their mind and make their mind for the world. Oriented toward the internal world. Thinking about things for their own sake. No objective but understanding. Pukwudgie: Pukwudgies are what they are. They want to be themselves in all respects, extroverting themselves on the outer world. They are in tune with their own emotions and will follow their gut instincts and feelings wherever they might lead. They have a strong emotional attachment to those they value, and will stay extremely loyal to those select few. Pukwudgies are social without Boeing to society. Thunderbird: Change. The grand concept of the soul. The thunderbird wants change for its internal world. It wishes to be free in its thoughts and it’s desires, pretty much regardless of the outside world. The thunderbird seeks betterment for itself in subjective ways. It does not want to win, it wants to be happy.
This section focuses on each individual house combination.
The Hero (Gryffindor)
The Traveler (Ravenclaw)
The Loyalist (Hufflepuff)
The Charmer (Slytherin)
Gryffindor/Pukwudgie: These people are the typical thrill seeking freedom fighters of Gryffindor. The social nature of Pukwudgie combines with the glory seeking bravado of Gryffindor to make a person who sees themselves as a hero, and is eager to act accordingly. Gryffindor Pukwudgies are often more attuned to their own wants and the wants of their friends then anything grander. They prefer not to look at the big picture, and instead focus on small situations where they can apply themselves with vigor and individuality. Gryffindor and Pukwudgie are both individualistic and emotional houses, and this manifests particularly strongly in this combination. The Gryffindor is action oriented and the Pukwudgie is social, creating someone who is outspoken and willing to stick to their emotional decisions to the bitter end.
Ravenclaw/Pukwudgie: The Ravenclaw Pukwudgie is primarily concerned with the exploration of the world. The Ravenclaw is insatiably curious, and the Pukwudgie sees the world externally, without becoming preoccupied with the structure of the world or what they can and cannot do. The two houses in combination seek to fully enjoy life, seeking out new knowledge and experiences without very much of an end goal. These people seek to enjoy their life above all else, and will likely have a drive to see the world, try new and exciting things, and will not have patience for those who drag them down to a more boring world.
Hufflepuff/Pukwudgie: The Hufflepuff Pukwudgie is devoted to its friends and family. It will make sure they are happy and healthy above all else, and will define their lives by those they care about. They are more focused on themselves as individuals then the traditional Hufflepuff, who seeks to make things fair for the general world. These Hufflepuffs instead prefer to stay within the circle of those that they love and rarely stray from it. These Pukwudgies will be more selfless and able to dismiss their own emotions easier than most because of their acute awareness of the affect it has on others.
Slytherin/Pukwudgie: Slytherin Pukwudgies are naturals at making connections and thrive in the social world. Their ambition is driven from emotional need, and will often be less traditionally ambitious than the dreams of other Slytherins. They will want to succeed in a social or emotional way, more intangible than the power and wealth many Slytherins seek. They will seek prestige in their social circle, using their quick wits to charm their fellows. They are highly external people, loving the company and positivity of social gatherings and becoming highly adept at navigating such settings.
The Champion (Gryffindor) The Trickster (Ravenclaw) The Paragon (Hufflepuff) The Victor (Slytherin)
Gryffindor/Wampus: Wampus Gryffindors are the most in tune with the real world of Gryffindors. They see the real world problems with constantly sticking to their morals and emotions, and will be willing to change their decisions and adapt to whatever will yield the greatest benefit. This combination is extremely action oriented, often becoming restless when there is no danger for them to face or situation to mend. These will be the most competitive of all Gryffindors, eager to jump on any casual opportunity to show others what they can do. This is the result of the glory seeking nature of Gryffindor combined with the Wampus drive to win. While this combination is highly impulsive and strong willed, it’s logical side and desire to succeed often makes it more detached than most Gryffindors until the opportunity for action arises. This combination will look for logical and analytical reasons why it won or did not win, and thus will often seem changeable, as it is reviewing new data and analyzing while it is taking action. It’s looking at the same time as it’s leaping.
Ravenclaw/Wampus: The Ravenclaw Wampus is the rarest of all sixteen combinations. Understandable as it is a paradoxical personality. Strong willed with malleable beliefs and goals, active with a tendency to hang back and consider all options, and intellectual but fierce. This combination deals in cleverness more than any other type of intellect. It prefers wit and strategy in its thoughts and conversations to a less immediately applicable, more studious knowledge. The introspective nature of Ravenclaw combines with Wampus in two principle ways, first with its competitiveness and its drive to succeed, which makes the Ravenclaw Wampus self critical and keenly aware of its own strengths and weaknesses. Secondly, the introspection combines with the strength of Wampus to create an impassive exterior. This Wampus will conceal its weaknesses behind a thick veil of intellect and prestige.
Hufflepuff/Wampus: The Hufflepuff Wampus has tangible goals that it wants to succeed in, and has a strong drive like other Wampuses, however, this will be offset by their affection for their companions and their wish for these people to succeed as much, if not more, than themself. This manifests as a person who is a strong and charismatic community leader. They will drive groups of people forward highly effectively with an infectious optimism and tireless determination. Both the Wampus and the Hufflepuff houses are hard working houses with great amounts of grit. As a result, the combination will take on massive amounts of work for greater projects with incredible drive. This is a self sacrificing combination with a strong sense of right and wrong, based primarily around justice and fairness. They will fight tirelessly to achieve this fairness in any place they can.
Slytherin/Wampus: The Slytherin and Wampus houses are defined by ambition. Slytherin values ambition deeply, and Wampus’ interaction with the world is based around fighting and winning. As a result, the Slytherin Wampus feels that it must achieve its goals at all costs, and overwhelmingly does so. This type is highly adaptable within the margins of its goals, as it sees many ways it can get what it wants, and has no issue buckling down to what work is necessary. While in true Slytherin nature, it is focused on the end goal at all times, the scrappiness and engagement with the present moment that Wampus brings leads this combination to be more playful than other Slytherins. These Slytherins are so constantly ambitious and secure in their desire that they feel comfortable dropping their seriousness whenever it appeals to them. At the same time, the Slytherin Wampus sees no point in becoming too preoccupied with the negative aspects of the here and now, and has a tendency to “wait out” annoyances, emotional problems, or pain.
The Revolutionary (Gryffindor) The Philosopher (Ravenclaw) The Optimist (Hufflepuff) The Candidate (Slytherin)
Gryffindor/Thunderbird: Gryffindor Thunderbird has deeply internalized its moral beliefs. It is guided by its principals and ideals. The contrast in between Thunderbirds vibrant internal world and Gryffindors strong external tendencies make a combination that is powerfully focused on carrying its beliefs into the outside world. This combination makes no compromises. It is resilient against outside influence, and most powerful when faced with impossible odds. In the face of everyone telling it “no”, it plants it’s feet and screams “yes” in response. This Gryffindor is the least boastful an glory seeking of Gryffindors, as it cares very little for the the outside world. It deeply connects to those who share its beliefs however, and will stick to these long lived friendships through any situation, no matter how thick or thin.
Ravenclaw/Thunderbird: The Ravenclaw Thunderbird seeks enlightenment. Regardless of its religious views or what words they might use to describe what they seek, the Ravenclaw Thunderbird wishes to reach a state of complete happiness and knowledge. Both Ravenclaw and Thunderbird constantly seek out something, deep in their core. The Ravenclaw seeks many new ideas, whereas the Thunderbird seeks a single great ideal. In combination, these houses search for all ways they might achieve their final ideal (note: not their final GOAL, the ideal is generally something unattainable. The Ravenclaw Thunderbird considers it nobler to strive for the impossible.) This house will be as curious as the traditional Ravenclaw, but it’s deep held beliefs as a Thunderbird will lead it to dismiss more information than its more trusting and open minded fellows. Ultimately, their greatest priority is enlightenment and whatever else they may have chosen as a panultimate ideal.
Hufflepuff/Thunderbird: The Hufflepuff Thunderbird is probably the greatest source of Hufflepuff’s reputation of being offbeat. The Thunderbird devotion to its internal world mixes with the upbeat attitude of Hufflepuff to create a person who is extremely amiable and easygoing without feeling the need to fit in or act in a way they feel uncomfortable with. This Hufflepuff is more secure in their identity than other Hufflepuffs, and this Thunderbird is more secure in their present situation than other Thunderbirds. This makes a sweet spot of contentment where the Hufflepuff Thunderbird makes it’s home.
Slytherin/Thunderbird: Of the Slytherins, this combination is the deepest emotionally. It does not find the same advantage of repressing its emotions that the other houses do. Instead, this house propels itself through its ambitions with a deep emotional drive to thrive I whatever environment it is put in. The forceful confidence of Slytherin gives this Thunderbird a tendency to hurl themselves into happiness and freedom, acting however they might please. This gives them a forceful and individualistic charisma, but makes them enemies as they can come off as a bull in a china shop when surrounded by weaker personalities. This Slytherin plans ahead less than other Slytherins. It has it’s eventual goals in mind, but it trusts in its ability to improvise with all the cunning and determination it possesses once it comes into contact with an actual impediment.
The Advocate (Gryffindor) The Visionary (Ravenclaw) The Psychologist (Hufflepuff) The Architect (Slytherin)
Gryffindor/Horned Serpent: The Gryffindor Horned Serpent is the fiercest of the Horned Serpents and the most conservative and cautious of the Gryffindors. They have strong held ideas that they reenforce with a powerful will and as much mental energy as they can muster. However, these Gryffindors are aware of the consequences to their actions, and will act in a more refined way, only breaking rules or taking direct action when they see it as good to do so. They will not, however, hesitate to challenge any idea put forward, examining it from both moral and logical standpoints. This combination has a highly tuned moral framework that builds itself on sequences of logic in order to determine what is right. These Horned Serpents are less interested in discovery, experimentation, and hypothesizing than most of their brethren. The Gryffindor in them prefers to take what is established knowledge so that they can act in the moment and will not have to shift their belief system, which is dependent on information. This combination will project themselves as the most prominent mind in the room. They often do not project the pure and quiet intelligence of Ravenclaw combinations or the calculated charisma of Slytherin, but the use of Gryffindor’s indomitable will and Horned Serpents uncontainable mind forces the attention of those nearby. People are drawn to this combination, and it uses this ability to advocate its ideas.
Ravenclaw/Horned Serpent: This combinations mind is completely active. It thinks constantly, developing and discarding ideas and theories at a consummate rate. The quick mindedness of the Ravenclaw allows it to see multiple ideas and possible ways to see a situation at once. At the same time, the Horned Serpent focuses these many ideas, narrowing down those that are illogical and discardable. This combination is fully involved with its mind. Its intelligence propels it in everything it does, shaping its values, shifting its actions. What the Ravenclaw Horned Serpent does will always be to the benefit of knowledge and its own understanding. It will seek the analysis and dissection of the entire world, magnifying every notion as far as it reasonably can. This combination balances a scale in its own mind. On one hand, it enjoys the pure information of chaos, but on the other, the rationality of both houses wants stability. The Ravenclaw Horned Serpent makes its compromise through observation. It will sit still and accumulate knowledge until it sees there is something to be gained for their mind if they move. They will then throw themselves headlong into whatever pursuit they have deemed smart.
Hufflepuff/Horned Serpent: The Hufflepuff Horned Serpent seeks to understand people. It will study someone in all their intricacies, looking to their likes, dislikes, beliefs, motives, and everything else try can glean. This combination loves people as truly as most Hufflepuffs do, but is truly fascinated by them as a Horned Serpent. Hufflepuff’s patience combines with the theories of Horned Serpent to form principles over time. This combination will slowly accumulate similar ideas, slowly turn them over, combine them where they can be combined, and eventually form well fleshed out principles that it can share compassionately with those in need. This combination values wisdom above all else. It wishes to guide others in a subjective manner. Helping them with their minds and their ideas. The strong inclination to fairness that Hufflepuff brings overpowers the wish for personal understanding that Horned Serpent holds dearly. This combination will, as a result, share what it knows indiscriminately. It wishes the world to be better mentally and to be supplied with guiding wisdom that will keep it safe.
Slytherin/Horned Serpent: The Slytherin Horned Serpent wants to build. While it is receptive to the many ideas of the world, it prefers its own. It will be strongly oriented towards order, categories, and rules. These are where the Slytherin ambition and the structured minds of the Horned Serpents thrive. Within this structure, it will create more and more structure, expanding it and pushing the boundaries of the previous rules, before forming new rules and guidelines in a more refined manner. This combination is proud, trusting its own intellect and intuition above all else. Its logic being that they are tried and true indicators. This makes the Slytherin Horned Serpent stubborn minded until failure. At the point of failure, this combination will see no problem admitting that they were wrong and pursuing an entirely different approach. The ambition of Slytherin drives it forward towards a goal or a principle to understand, while the Horned Serpent studies and searches for the best way to achieve such an end.
Aries quality - will stand up for you or themselves, does not tolerate shit, self-assured, bold, loyal, caring, protective of friends/family
Aries flaw - overly aggressive, confrontational, and argumentative, provocative, unempathetic and unsympathetic, volatile, perceives sadness as weakness, will go too far to prove dominance/boldness/etc. Taurus quality - chill,honest, hard to fight with, relaxing presence, relatable, funny, fashionable, doesn’t follow the herd, good taste
Taurus flaw - overly judgmental/critical, prone to superiority complex, stuck in their opinions
Gemini quality - adaptable, easy to talk to and befriend, unargumentative, polite, agreeable Gemini flaw - can act fake, ignorant, can inadvertently offend people, appear shallow, doesn’t think about the consequences of actions/decisions Cancer quality - intelligent, is good at making people feel better, is honest without being offensive, tolerant, makes effort to not hurt people, empathetic Cancer flaw - can either be clingy or make others feel clingy, turns everything into a debate, puts up with too much shit from others/doesn’t stand up for themselves, too easily offended Leo quality - sympathetic, very loyal, very caring, self-assured, projects confidence, ambitious, not lazy Leo flaw - self-centered, insecure, plays with other’s emotions to boost own esteem, manipulative, talks unnecessary shit Virgo quality - attentive, ambitious, driven, honest, considers details, puts in a lot of effort, not lazy, works hard, tries their best, wants the best for friends and family Virgo flaw - repressed emotions, prone to outbursts of misplaced rage and anger, takes stress out on family, overly critical of others, obsessive, overly perfectionist Libra quality - nice, humorous, friendly, good communicators, analytical, can understand people’s emotions and psyches/why they do things, balanced, empathetic, fun, fashionable, diplomatic Libra flaw - overly defensive/sensitive, indecisive, argumentative, places self-esteem in superficial matters of popularity, unsympathetic, prone to extreme mood swings/overpowered by their emotions, can be lazy Scorpio quality - doesn’t follow herd, intriguing, humorous, intellectual, fashionable, loyal and very committed, caring, supportive, always there for you Scorpio flaw - moody, bitter, can worsen your mood, overly judgmental, superiority complex, untrustworthy, grudge-holders, does too many things just for the aesthetic Sagittarius quality - very honest, confident, bold, very witty/funny, fashionable, stands up for themselves and their friends, does not put up with shit, sees things how they are Sagittarius flaw - very abrasive, can be rude, too blunt, can be mean/offensive, sometimes annoying, unsympathetic, unempathetic Capricorn quality - very driven, very ambitious, very hard-working, pays attention to detail, motivated, often successful, rational, logical, inoffensive, levelheaded, sensible Capricorn flaw - way too serious, repressive, bottles up emotions, detached, impersonal, difficulty making friends, forming bonds, and connecting with people, unempathetic Aquarius quality - intellectual, very funny, likable, relatable, adventurous, very chill, unafraid, up for anything, individualistic, easy to hang out with Aquarius flaw - unsympathetic, unempathetic, detached, unemotional, disloyal, can’t commit, difficulty maintaining friendships/relationships for long periods, copes unhealthily, abandonment issues, can be mean/cruel/deceptive Pisces quality - very sympathetic, VERY empathetic, good listener, imaginative, creative, optimistic, gives good advice, good at cheering people up, kind, inoffensive, very intuitive Pisces flaw - doesn’t stand up for themselves/others, overly sensitive, too easily hurt, naive, unrealistic, overpowered by emotions, can be lazy, can’t see things as they are, oblivious
1st House - your Ascendant, your worldwide persona
Aries Ascendant - outspoken and very sensitive. They are called warriors of the zodiac and for a good reason. They always fight to the end for the cause they believe in and will do everything what it takes to win (literally). They are really smart and inventive. They like to instigate things and cause drama. They never take your advices. Honest and stubborn. They tend to take things to their heart (except advices) and they easily get offended. They crave romance and true love but they are way more shy about those things than people think. They really can get shy in love! But they want to be always considered strong so it is hard to see that side of them. They have a tendency to delete people from their life too fast, without giving it a second thought. Strong minded. Helpful. Sassy. They easily get jealous of others.
Taurus Ascendant - protective and sexy. Their presence is not that intense like Scorpio but still they are visible and hard to miss. Very sensual people. Their sexiness is more subtle and their beauty is very earthy like. They go back and forth with being economical and impulsive with spending money (they might buy things they think they need when they really don’t). They are argumentative and tend to instigate things. They are really protective of their surrendings and people. Generous with their time and money unless you make them doubt your intentions. They can be very cold, calculative and emotionally detached when they need to be.
Gemini Ascendant - funny and welcoming. They are very warm and always make people feel good with them. They will help you with opening up. They can be flighty and overly dramatic. Emotional people. They love diversity in every form. They love to learn new things and help other learn it too. Very helpful, they really want you to feel good around them. They do not want to negativity win over positivity. They can find hope and good in people everywhere. This does not mean that they are naive, no - they are very observant people and very smart. They need a lot of changes in their life. Freedom is their stability. They despise routine but they need it a little bit more in their life to keep their restlessness away from them.
Cancer Ascendant - caring and proactive. They get things done. They are very emotionally and mentally strong. They really can get through a lot and stand still. Patient and caring, they treat their friends as their family members. They will always make sure that you will know how much they love you. They have good intuition and are people smart. They are creative and may appear more innocent that they really are. They will always encourage you to be better. They are very hard-working, they make sure to do things the best they can. Very goofy (when they feel comfortable with you). If you break their trust they will get very cold, logical and ruthless. They will call you out on the things you have done. They will never forget.
Leo Ascendant - generous and witty. Very loving and protective of their loved ones. The unique mix of softness and strength. The royal baby. They will rather die than let you win an argument. They tend to forget about their own worth and look for validation in the wrong places. They are very detail oriented about how they want to appear to the world (especially when it comes to their fashion choices). Creative, smart and devoted to their own art and style. They do not like changes and can be too much stubborn to admit that they need them. Very sensitive but they have amazing fighting spirit.
Virgo Ascendant - competent and charming. They are very sophisticated. Naturally smart, patient and observant. They have a lot of hidden charisma. They know how to act in social situations and keep their image clean. Creative. They are emotionally self-sufficent and they keep people at distance but they know how to appear friendly and welcoming. Other people may often come to them for their knowledge which they like to share. They usually have god complex and dislike when people act like they really know them. They like competent people.
Meticulous and can be mean. They want to show the best of them to the world.
Libra Ascendant - thoughtful and intuitive. They care about justice and balance and they can easily sense when something is “off”. They are really good at finding solutions. Impartial, they look at two sides before judging. They are people smart and helpful. Emotionally strong but when things go wrong they rely more on logic than emotions. They can get cold and distant when they feel they cannot trust someone. Trust is really important for them. If you break your word to them they may forigve you but will never truly forget. They are stylish, aesthetically pleasing and easily make people like them. They can become the ultimate queen b. They get things done and they do not like to sit and wait for things to escalate.
Scorpio Ascendant - passionate and watchful. The infamous “mysterious and intense” ones. They definetely bring a lot to the table. They do not care much about others opinions but others tend to care about theirs. Beside the obvious sexiness, strong aura and intensity they have a lot of sensivity and thirst of knowledge inside of them. They like to discover secrets of the world and they are really good at it. They are careful and like to plan things. They observe people and rely on their instincts when judging them. They like to laugh with others and be more laid-back and goofy but only with those who gained their trust. They have strong convictions that they know how to defend. They are really caring and generous, they have this softness inside of them which they always choose not to show to the world. They are true fighters; they will not back down and run away from a fight but they really not aim to create everything into the battlefield. Ambitious, smart and really adventurous people.
Sagittarius Ascendant - jovial and intense. They have strong, warm aura that that attracts others to them. They are extra about every aspect of their life. Bold, independent and sometimes a little bit intimidating. They make a conscious effort to be funny (they prefer things be kept this way) but they can get serious very fast and when they do they become scary. They have short temper and sharp tongue. They will not tolerate any baloney. They will scream about it to the world if they have to. They will make a fuss about something but five seconds later they will act like nothing happened. They prefer to look at the bigger picture but still will check every little detail. They really do not know how to deal with sadness inside of them so they choose to ignore it and keep themselves busy on something “more interesting” than negative feelings.
Capricorn Ascendant - bold and confrontational. They do not back down from a challenge an actually are more drama prone that they will admit. They are passionate and very emotional but they do not show it easily to the world. They are diligent and prefer to keep the image of professionalists. Independent, sassy, curious and smart, they know how to handle things. They despise incompetence but they are more forgiving if this incompetence come from other people and not themselves. They like affection and compliments especially about achievements, less looks. They are constantly misunderstood and people try to simplify them to being heartless workaholics but they are way more complex. They tend to be more confident when they got older, they need some time to asset themselves in the world but when they do they become ultimate bosses.
Aquarius Ascendant - serious but charming. They are a unique blend of a social butterfly and strong individualist. They like people and spending time with them but they also need a lot of solitude. They often feel outcasted because of their contrasted personality and are considered weird. They are not weird - they are just unapologetic about who they are and you have to deal with it, whether you like what you see or not. Aquarius will not change anything about themselves to make things easier (even when they crave to be understood they will stand still with who they are). They are very curious and have many interests. They need some time to really open up but when they do you can see their passionate, vulnerable and caring side. They really like and need affection. They are smart and blunt. They appreciate unconventional forms of romance.
Pisces Ascendant - smart and incomparable. People see them as this weird, sad guys, who do not comprehend a normal human language. This is not true - they are complex and have many sides to them to show to the world. They easily get inspired by everything around them. They think they know how to blend in but the truth is that somehow they always stand out. They are intelligent, have unique sense of humour and way of looking at the world. They are brave, can get very argumentative when someone is talking about things they are passionate about. They can be both very logical and emotional, serious and goofy, loud and quiet. They are never one thing, they could never choose to be one.
is a teacher, your Saturn Sign symbolizes what you have to learn in
life, the challenges you must face. Your Saturn Sign describes your
ambitions, material status and work.
independent, persevering, strategic, resourceful, egocentric,
stubborn, unsympathetic Lesson: To take charge of your own
destiny, stand up for what you believe in, learn to love yourself
materialistic, wise, realistic, methodical, concentrated, stubborn,
judgmental Lesson: To see the value in what is intangible
rather than material, learn not to fear going without, materials
don’t make the man
learned, witty, practical, versatile, observant, self-doubting,
pessimistic Lesson: To trust yourself and your intuition,
understand yourself and how you think, to find balance between reason
protective, ambitious, subtle, level-headed, inhibited, cold,
self-serving Lesson: To let yourself feel, trust your
emotions, understand how and why you feel the way you do
commanding, dignified, warm, controlled, inhibited, defensive,
egotistical Lesson: To find balance between leading and
dictating, to have confidence without ego, don’t fear failure
precise, realistic, attentive, conscientious, stern, critical,
anxious Lesson: To find the balance between self-denial and
-indulgence, to discipline yourself without denying
loyal, impartial, tactful, dignified, idealistic, indecisive,
insincere Lesson: To discover and maintain your personal
identity, draw the line between others and the self, to bring order
to the world around you
purposeful, disciplined, persevering, determined, ruthless, rigid,
insensitive Lesson: How to effectively use your power, to
be powerful without being controlling, how to use your energy
loyal, devoted, energetic, concentrated, self-righteous, prideful,
hypocritical Lesson: To build up your moral or religious
values and use them to empower both yourself and others, do not allow
the dogma of others to hold you back
hardworking, disciplined, ambitious, independent, repressed, cold,
unprincipled Lesson: To know your role in the world,
understand time as a tool rather than your enemy
observant, open-minded, humanitarian, genuine expression, individualistic, cold,
insincere connections Lesson: To find balance between freedom and
structure, don’t restrict yourself with your attempts to bring order
wise, self-sacrificing, humanitarian, imaginative, timid, withdrawn,
To use your experiences to help others, to serve as a teacher,
overcome your suffering in order to better yourself
The INFP personality type can feel like a walking paradox. Why is this? Well, it’s because the INFP’s cognitive functions often contradict each other. For instance, although INFPs are Perceivers (which means they prefer an adaptable lifestyle), they lead with a Judging function, Introverted Feeling (which is concerned with establishing order). Likewise, it’s not uncommon for INFPs to have strong beliefs and opinions and yet be indecisive when it comes to making everyday choices. Here are 10 more contradicting things about INFPs.
1. INFPs want to help others yet they resist human contact. INFPs are true idealists who want to make the world a better and more compassionate place. They are highly empathetic individuals who have the capacity for deep caring. Although they are very interested in helping others, they can also be extremely reserved and private. As introverts, they need a lot of alone time to recharge, as social interactions can be draining.
2. They’re both curious and shy. INFPs have a strong Extroverted Intuition (Ne) function which makes them enjoy exploring new ideas and possibilities. They are very curious when it comes to learning about the world, including learning about human nature and different cultures. However, at the same time, they can be shy and hesitant to open themselves up to people who they aren’t familiar with. This is because INFPs are conscientious, need time to reflect, and do not like to engage in shallow conversations. They take their encounters quite personally and are highly sensitive, so they may be wary about letting just anyone into their lives.
3. INFPs can be extremely determined or apathetic. INFPs seem to run on an on-off switch. They can either be extremely obsessive about something or completely indifferent. That’s because Fi is their primary driver, so they are motivated by what feels right. So, if an INFP comes across something that excites them, they can become extremely passionate, even neglecting basic needs such as sleep in their pursuit. Conversely, it can be very difficult for INFPs to find any motivation to finish a task or partake in a discussion if it doesn’t spark their interest.
4. They can be easygoing or stubborn. INFPs are generally easygoing and flexible, especially when it comes to making everyday decisions. They also like to entertain different ideas and possibilities, thanks to their auxiliary Ne function, and are open to looking at things from many perspectives. However, INFPs have strong personal values due to their Fi and are reluctant to compromise them. They stand their ground and do not easily surrender in the face of adversity. For instance, INFPs believe in staying true to themselves so they resist giving up their individuality and values in order to conform, be part of a clique, and/or please others. They might get bullied for choosing to be a square peg in a round hole, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.
5. INFPs are perfectionists but can also be negligent. INFPs have high standards for themselves and their work, and they can become perfectionists. For instance, they might reread an email several times before hitting send. At the same time, as Intuitives, INFPs prefer to focus on the big picture rather than spend time working out the details of something. Likewise, sometimes they get lost in their own idealism and neglect more practical matters.
6. They’re unconventional and quirky, but also traditional. INFPs are highly individualistic people who break free from the status quo. They choose their own unique pathway rather than doing what society expects of them. At the same time, INFPs can be traditional due to their strong values and sense of nostalgia. They are extremely loyal and have clear beliefs about right and wrong. They also attach meaning to things from the past because of their Introverted Sensing (Si) function, so it’s not unusual for INFPs to hold on to childhood toys, treasured collections, or family memorabilia.
7. INFPs want to be autonomous and free, but also have stability and order. INFPs value autonomy and prefer to do things freely without any impediments. They like to be creative, expressive, and explore new things without being burdened by repetitive tasks and strict orders. However, at the same time, they are drawn to their inferior Extroverted Thinking (Te) function and desire some sort of stability and structure in their lives—or else things may get a little too chaotic. INFPs may find their life to be quite disorganized when they are being carried away by their imagination; they need something to ground them in reality.
8. They feel happy and sad at the same time. INFPs feel deeply and experience a wide breadth of emotions. They can vividly recreate experiences and feelings through their imagination. They may even experience several emotions simultaneously, such as feeling both pleasant and melancholy.
9. INFPs want the ideal partner, but may find themselves drawn to toxic relationships. When it comes to relationships, INFPs may find themselves falling into one of two traps: they struggle to find their princess or prince charming, or end up in a toxic relationship. Because they are highly idealistic, INFPs may have unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating. At the same time, they are crusaders who want to save others. In doing so, INFPs may end up in an unhealthy relationship, attracting narcissists and other toxic individuals who take advantage of their unconditional empathy.
10. They are both children and old souls. INFPs can sometimes seem childlike because they tend to be optimistic and can see life through rose-colored glasses. In spite of their whimsical and free-spirited nature, INFPs are also old souls; they experience emotions intensely, have high levels of empathy, and can see many possibilities in a given situation. With these gifts come incredible insight, depth, and wisdom.
oh, shit, people actually asked me to follow up on Preaching The Good Word of A Functional Alignment System, okay
i hope you people know what you’re unleashing here
(whole thing prompted by this right here, notably including the tag #unpopular opinion: the definition of lawful and chaotic has been thoroughly twisted over the years since od&d)
So some of you (the ones who didn’t request this) might be wondering: “Alterz, why would you want to go back to the old alignment method? If people generally agree on the new alignment definitions then why confuse things by trying to change them? Is this just some old system nostalgia?”
Well 1) I’m too young by far for old system nostalgia but more importantly 2) people don’t? agree????? on the alignments???????
And that’s a problem, because the whole point of the alignments is to give some rough guidelines on how any given character is likely to act. It should be inarguable. The very fact that people can have arguments over what an alignment is means that the system has failed.
If you look in the alignment section on the more recent D&D editions, they literally have to go into detail on each alignment to explain what each one means. Worse still, for a system theoretically set up as a gradient, the different alignments are basically buckets and it gets really confusing if a character doesn’t neatly fit into one of those buckets.
Some examples from characters I have actually played: a mercenary who I labeled as neutral because I could make equally compelling arguments for why he should be lawful neutral, chaotic neutral, neutral good, and neutral evil. A hermit who at any given time was chaotic neutral or neutral good, but could never reliably be described as chaotic good.
Under the system I’m about to provide you, the mercenary is inarguably chaotic neutral and the hermit is unambiguously lawful good. End of sentence, all cleared up.
I’ve said this before but I feel pretty alienated by the individualistic “I love myself so much that I don’t need anyone else!” vibe that I see lots of people partaking in, including some of my friends. It’s easy to say that when you have a consistent support group around you and the ghost-like advocacy from familial/romantic love that somehow goes unacknowledged and becomes invisible when these truisms are repeated…. Why not just honour those connections as what they are - necessary, salvational and important? Isn’t it insulting to pretend you’re stronger than other people when actually you just have a loving, caring family and can bounce back from difficulty with that knowledge in the back of your mind?
Studies have shown that the ability to effectively love and provide for someone else needs to be taught first and demonstrated properly, it doesn’t just originate from self help books (which, by the way, is a multimillion dollar industry….I wonder why!) Humans are social animals and they always have been, and even though all relationships are inconsistent and unreliable to some degree they’re absolutely important to our survival. Maybe all of us have varied needs but that simplistic urging to just “love myself” as a form of advice in response to loneliness, albeit from a good place, was very dangerous to me and quite harmful when connection and outside support was what I needed the most. I speak for myself only when I say this but a lot of different communities/support networks aren’t available or accessible to a lot of us.