indigos rants

Sometimes I’m disgusted by the people who are probably eventually gonna become doctors, who will inevitably have to treat a diversity of patients. Like, not discounting the amazing doctors and other health care people who do great work and really care about all their patients and exert a lot of effort to make sure they treat everyone fairly. But, like, going to a university where a significant portion of the bio majors and some number of other majors consider applying and do apply to med school.. and seeing and interacting with these people.. yeah okay, keep claiming you care about people when you capitalize on jokes on their behalf and act like some people deserve less than others.

some things that bother me

in list form, bc well, it’s easier. this list is being written bc I was reminded of one thing that bothers me and I thought of related things. and I realized I’d never really shared them in one place before:

  • when people act like all asians are light-skinned
  • when people forget that not all south asian americans are of a high/middle economic class
  • when people talk about “indian weddings” as if there is one type of indian wedding. no u shut it ur wrong
  • when asian american / asian/pacific islander american orgs talk about the issue of south asians not being included but don’t seem to do any sort of outreach
  • when family says several times within a short time period that my middle brother is really bad at understanding malayalam. no i am pretty sure he can understand well enough to get by. it’s not like he needs to follow super difficult conversations or something
  • when I bake something and people who are over ask if I can cook [insert (south) indian dishes here]/ “our cooking”. ok bro just enjoy this wonderful dessert i’m making u and stop acting like there’s anything wrong with my answer of “sure, as long as there’s a recipe I can follow”
  • i’m sure there’s a lot more but I’m gonna stop here ok (for now)
  • WRAUUUUGH

I went to a talk about Hansen’s disease, public health, and the medical gaze today by Adria Imada and I think researching, thinking, and writing about topics like this is v v important. History of medicine v. important. Because like, there is just soo much in just Prof Imada’s work, like, it touches on:

  • how the Other is viewed
  • - degenerative nature
  • how the Other is photographed and scrutinized
  • religion
  • empire

LOOK HOW ALL THESE THINGS ARE SO BIG THEMSELVES.

I just ugh.

No but okay so the reason why I think her research and stuff like it is important is because I think it is important to keep making visible the intersections between nation, disease, the Other. And how this is all very important to medicine, because not just in this case but in so many others (as you probably know!!), populations are used as experimental subjects. tbh I’m disturbed that it probably isn’t a norm to learn about things like this in med school.

also you know, it’s also important bc i think it would be really sad and terrible to forget that these things happened, that things like this keep happening. the work is important bc it’s a way of keeping it alive (critique on accessibility to research missing from this post bc so many people have already written about it)

I just really need to know wtf is up with people who say things about kids on the internet and how their parents need to be disciplined bc somehow it’s bc of bad parents that kids are on the internet. Do you, like, not at all remember being a kid with the Internet? Or is it bc you’re too old to have had that experience yourself (though most people on tumblr are probably around my age so like, most of you all are young enough to have experienced this if you had access to a computer??). ‘Cause like. If you know the level of security your parents use, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Like wtf, why would my mom know if I"m on social media accounts?? Did you like tell your parents when you make every email account or smth?? wtf? are you the kind of person who told the truth when they asked you if you were 18 on the internet or something… I just… don’t…understand

I mean, what kids DO on the internet and how they act are probably influenced by whoever they spend their time with irl/whatever they learned growing up… but I’m pretty sure that it’s not just your parents that make you a terrible person (though they can play a part)

but yeah

I’m pretty sure you’re not a bad parent if you don’t know every single thing your kid does bc 1. that’s impossible pretty much and 2. it’s pretty creepy if you DO try to keep track of EVERY SINGLE THING your kid does

like I don’t understand this complete disavowal of theory because a lot of the cool people have contributed to theory… like, theory is not just all white guys. And I don’t think that theories from white guys are completely without value, either.

I mean I think a lot can be hard to understand and I think in terms of accessibility and the reification of it over experience, there’s something to be said about that. But I don’t get why that means we have to write it off altogether.

bored with people trying to use coalition building terms for other things

there’s no reason to say “POC” when you’re speaking about a specific group, no need to conflate what happens to a specific group with what happens to all people of color (also who doesn’t laugh at something like “asian woc” or “black woc” like srsly)

and there’s no reason to say “API” when you might actually be talking about specific subgroups/ethnicities

but how do you bring this up with people T.T

also let me tell you a thing that is tiring about people and things they say

the simplified pop idea of introversion/extroversion and the characteristics assumed in a person bc of what you decided they are

i feel like ‘i like being alone but i thrive on promising social interactions with others’ would just blow these peoples minds bc they couldnt comprehend how such a statement could exist and be true

like okay, i dgaf about kim k or celebrity culture really but like… okay, cool, keira knightley decided to pose nude w unphotshop’d pics. that’s great for her, i guess? but why do men think anyone wants to hear how they’d rather fuck ~natural~ keira knightley instead of that ~fake~ loser kim kardashian ??? no one wants to hear you be disgusting please

especially when you make MULTIPLE comments about it

bc a woman is only good for anything if you want her in your bed

and

the only way you can say something “nice” (not really, please re-evaluate what it means to be nice) about a woman is by thinking about sleeping with her, pitting her against another woman, and sharing your thoughts with the world

It’s wrong to impose US-centric views of oppression, etc on what happens in other countries. That’s the first sentence of this post so as to serve as a disclaimer and YES I KNOW to what I’m about to say next…

But I think it’s frustrating when people try to police what you say on your PERSONAL blog about your PERSONAL experiences. bc seriously bro. This is where I live, this is what I see, and this is what I experience? So yes, that’s what I’m going to write about. If I ever imply that what I am saying can be extrapolated onto other societies/places then yeah I’m out of line. But every post shouldn’t need a disclaimer bc personal blog and most people are clear about where they live.

THIS HASNT BEEN HAPPENING RECENTLY BUT I DIDNT FEEL LIKE WRITING ABOUT IT WHEN IT HAPPENED BC I DIDNT WANT ANGRY PEOPLE IN MY INBOX OK

soldiers and guards don’t need more help to be humanized bc the general population already believes there are “good police,” “good soldiers,” etc. there are films and advertisements and books that are popular/well-received that humanize these people. we don’t need another movie about that. who is that helping?

> me reacting to another reblog on that Camp X-Ray post

The fact that this person even thinks the primary issue in a topic such as this is the humanization of the guard, showing that guards have feelings too, etc is kind of really disgusting? Her humanization comes out through the struggle of the wrongfully imprisoned man, and what this person takes away is that it’s important to show that soldiers have feelings?? I think that actually reveals one of the major problems with films/stories like Camp X-Ray (at least how it appears to be shown in the trailer).

I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND THE PHRASE “I HATE KIDS” FOR WHEN KIDS DO SOMETHING “-ISM” RELATED THATS BAD I DONT THINK THE KID MADE THAT UP MAN IM PRETTY SURE THEY ABSORBED IT FROM OLDER PEOPLE / THEIR SURROUNDINGS / MEDIA / CONSTANT REINFORCEMENT OF THAT ACTION BY OTHERS THAT ARE NOT JUST CHILDREN

sorry in advance for all this shift key

UGH LIKE I HAVE “EVERYTHING” (WELL, ALMOST) SO ITS LIKE WHAT AM I EVEN COMPLAINING ABOUT BUT

I AM AS OLD AS I AM I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF I AM A DECENT PERSON AND I DONT USUALLY DO TERRIBLE THINGS ETC ETC ETC -INSERT MORE OF MY PRAISES HERE-

LIKE SHOULDNT THAT ENTITLE ME TO BE ALLOWED TO DO ALMOST ANYTHING I WANT (IM SPEAKING WITHIN REASON HERE, NOTHING TOO ~OUT THERE~)

I JUST WANT TO LIVE AWAY FROM MY PARENTS AND HOPEFULLY NOT TOO NEAR ANY RELATIVES OR CLOSE FAMILY FRIENDS (OR ELSE THEY MIGHT WANT TO VISIT ME AND TALK TO ME, ETC)

THEN I CAN, LIKE, IDK, GO PLACES WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT WHEN MY PARENTS WANT ME BACK OR LIKE ABOUT HOW MY BROTHER WHEN HE IS HOME (WHO, BTW, IS YOUNGER THAN ME) STAYS OUT MUUUUCH LONGER AND I CAN JUST FULLY BE MY OWN PERSON AND IT SUCKS ITS NOT EVEN LIKE MY PARENTS ARE TERRIBLE PEOPLE COMPLETELY SO I CANT EVEN DISLIKE THEM ITS JUST THEY ARE UNREASONABLE AND I FEEL REALLY CONFINED AND STUNTED A LOT

THeRES MORE TO THIS BUT THIS IS ALL THE SHIFT KEY YOU’RE GETTING RN IM GONNA GO GET DRESSED TO GEt SOME BOBA (ooo only staying out for ~an hour~ or otherwise it’s “why can’t you go another day? why can’t you go tomorrow?” UGH)

-motivation to apply to grad school-