In the category of “Things Monogamous People Say”:

There’s freedom in commitment.

Let’s suppose, for a minute, that “commitment” is equivalent to “exclusivity.” Of course, as a polyamorous person, I don’t subscribe to that equivalency in the slightest. But for this example, I’m using the language that (many) monogamous people use.

When I was younger and didn’t know polyamory was an option, or (later) didn’t yet think I could personally handle it, I would apprehensively think about my projected future in a monogamous marriage. I wanted to take comfort in things that people said, like the above.

It made no intuitive sense to me.

I had to sort of parse it out deliberately. Okay, I think what they probably mean is:

You won’t have the anxieties inherent in dating new people anymore.

Once you’re in an exclusive long-term relationship, you don’t need to worry about whether you’ve selected a good partner, because you’ve made that decision once and can stop thinking about it now.

You won’t have the general mental overhead of being single and perpetually seeking someone; you will have the freedom to instead devote that mental energy towards something that feels reliable, such as your spouse or your kids or your hobbies.

Is that what they mean? Maybe. Or maybe there’s something more I still haven’t gleaned. 

Problem is, none of that comes even slightly close to selling me on monogamy. For one thing, if I’m seeking freedom, those aren’t the types of freedoms that matter to me. Because, if they were, even within polyamory, I don’t have to date any more than I want to. There’s no rule that I need to always seek new partners. There’s no rule that I have to date anyone ever

I have the freedom to choose to experience all of those things, or to give myself the freedom from them.

The freedom I want, plain and simple, is the freedom for all my relationships to find their own natural, best-fitting formats. To date, if we want. To have a physically or emotionally intimate relationship, if we want. To be buddies, if we want. To choose what we want. And freedom from those decisions doesn’t feel like any sort of freedom to me at all. That’s me; to each their own. I know there are many who feel differently than me, and that’s the beauty of the diversity of human experience.

anonymous asked:

Hello! Could I possibly request some sfw and nsfw headcannons for a poly relationship with Keith, Lance, and their S/O?? Thank you, and I absolutely love your blog, btw!!!

uuhm yes hello is this the ER? … why am i calling?? becasue ive finally considered a Klance x me ship and it has broken me sufficiently please i need assistance yes thank y ou



  • the day it became official, Lance would not shut up about it, and Keith was such a blushy mess, and would sneakily try and hold hands with you  a lot, and You get Lance to be quiet but pulling him into a group hug. Keith is just so happy and Lance is just so happy too and they both express it in opposite ways. 
  • Lance likes to set up dates every weekend, sometimes theyre a surprise sometimes theyre not, but all of them are unique and special and intricate and just so lovely. usually end in cuddling in bed together reminiscing about stupid jokes that were mad or cool things youve seen.
  • In return for Lance’s great date planning, you and Keith band together to treat him to the best day or relaxation and company ever. you’ll give him foot rubs and share a bath mabey and let Lance give you both face masks to try liek he’s always wanted. probably paint each others nails because its what Lance wants to do and so it happens because it’s Lance’s special date day. 
  • If anyone doubts the relationship theres this group empathy/telepathy thing that kicks in and you all get so defensive of the others’ honour and even more in love than be fore its beautiful honestly. 
  • Lots of casual hand holding and stupid inside jokes. still the same petty arguments and sometimes you have insult war’s but its all out of love 


  • The first time you all got sexual together it was a mess. not the good mess either. a lot of pauses and confusion and worrying that everyone was satisfied and getting an equal share and that it was all good and stuff. it took a while to get a good system. 
  • early on it was discussed that everyone would feel most comfortable if sex with involving all three, but it was also explicitly understood that there would eb no grudges held if something happend between just two of you. Trust is really important, and jealousy is understandable. it only took a few weeks for it all to get settled in with no more worry.

  • Youve probably had sex in the dining hall more than in the bedroom tbh. There’s just something about the rush of possibly getting caught or being heard that really strikes the three of you, and the first time, Coran actually did find out pretty easily thanks to Lance’s inability to be quiet;;; didnt stop you tho. 

anonymous asked:

Do you have a type or brand of long-line you recommend? My dog is about 70lbs (we're working on pulling and recall) and we just go hiking in the woods/fields. I like retractable (because retractable) but I hate holding the handle and feel unsafe. Love love love your pups by the way!

Biothane! It’s leather-like in feel and comfortable to grip, but synthetic and easier to clean. It’s lightweight, doesn’t soak up water and mud, and you can just hose it off when it gets dirty. (The only downside: it does get slick when wet, but tying strategic knots in it helps.)

I have a couple different Signature K9 ones, 33 feet and 15 feet long.

BTS Text Message and Snapchat Requests

I’m starting BTS text massages and snapchat requests.

They can be smut, fluff or plain. They can be relationship, ships, polyamorous or friendship.

Just tell me who and what you would like and I’ll try my best to make it happen. Thank you!!❤️

Reblog if you think the following are valid:

Being gay
Being bisexual
Being asexual
Being pansexual
Being aromantic
Being genderfluid
Being nonbinary
Being transgender
Being polyamorous

(Feel free to add more)