“I am in a secret fourfold word, the blasphemy against all gods of men.
Curse them! Curse them! Curse them!
With my Hawk’s head I peck at the eyes of Jesus as he hangs upon the cross.
I flap my wings in the face of Mohammed & blind him.
With my claws I tear out the flesh of the Indian and the Buddhist, Mongol and Din.
Bahlasti! Ompehda! I spit on your crapulous creeds.
Let Mary inviolate be torn upon wheels: for her sake let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!
Also for beauty’s sake and love’s!
Despise also all cowards; professional soldiers who dare not fight, but play; all fools despise!
But the keen and the proud, the royal and the lofty; ye are brothers!
As brothers fight ye!
There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.”
The Indian Tomb (1938)/Marie Doro for The White Pearl (1915)/Barbara La Marr for The Shooting of Dan McGrew (1924)/The Thief of Bagdad (1924)/Just Imagine (1930)/The Prodigal (1955)/Charlie Ruggles & Ethel Merman for Anything Goes (1936)/Nita Naldi in The Ten Commandments (1923)/George Raft for Limehouse Blues (1934)
I have been wanting to do one of these for a while now because I know a lot of people think bollywood is silly and just about people dancing around trees and I gotta agree with you guys but there are honestly some really great movies which are really truly worth the watch and so here they are, lain out here coherently by me.
If you want to watch a classic bollywood movie (Which if you are completely new, I do not recommend bc they’re really long-winded. But if you think you can handle it, go for it.,):
-Sholay: In the village of Ramgarh, retired police chief Thakur Baldev Singh (Sanjeev Kumar) plots to bring down the notorious bandit Gabbar Singh (Amjad Khan) and enlists the help of two lesser criminals, Jai (Amitabh Bachchan) and Veeru (Dharmendra). When Gabbar attacks the village, however, Jai and Veeru wonder why Thakur does nothing to help them. They soon learn that he has no arms, and that Gabbar was the one who cut them off. Enraged by this, they redouble their efforts to help.
(I can quote this movie, I know it so well)
-Shree 420: A man (Raj Kapoor) arrives in a city with big dreams but must choose between integrity and success.
(LOVE IT but be warned, it’s a three hour movie)
-Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham;
Yashvardhan Raichand lives a very wealthy lifestyle along with his wife, Nandini, and two sons, Rahul and Rohan. While Rahul has been adopted, Yashvardhan and Nandini treat him as their own but will their love stand the test of time?
(Not for the easily-bored) (Too emotional for non-indians tbh) (watch with parents if possible)
The wedding of Radha (Nargis) and Shamu (Rajendra Kumar) is at hand, but the loan they take out to pay for the ceremony ends up leading to their ruin. Unable to pay the mounting interest rates, the couple is forced to give up three quarters of their crop to the moneylenders. Shamu works the fields in an attempt to alleviate their poverty, but a loose boulder crushes his arm, rendering him incapable of work and humiliated at his sudden inability to provide for his family.
(Oscar nominated and really good also WOMAN POWER AF)
If you want to watch a typical bollywood love story (these I do recommend for new-comers):
-Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani:
Bunny (Ranbir Kapoor) and Naina (Deepika Padukone) meet when they graduate from college and again in their late 20s
(Great cast. Funny. Sweet.)
-Kal Ho Na Ho: A young woman (Preity Zinta) falls for a carefree man, but she believes he is in love with another.
(Great Cast. Funny. Sweet. Kinda Sad.)
-Kuch Kuch Hota Hai: Before dying, a woman (Rani Mukherjee) leaves letters asking her daughter to play matchmaker for her father (Shahrukh Khan) and his college friend (Kajol).
(Great cast Funny. Sweet. CAN QUOTE FROM MEMORY)
All these movies are really soft and fluffy movies. Good for post-breakups or any time actually.
If you’re tired of the typical girl meets boy movies and want to watch a non-typical bollywood love story (HIGHLY RECOMMEND):
-Lunchbox: Lonely housewife Ila (Nimrat Kaur) decides to try adding some spice to her stale marriage by preparing a special lunch for her neglectful husband. Unfortunately, the delivery goes astray and winds up in the hands of Saajan (Irrfan Khan), an irritable widower. Curious about her husband’s lack of response, Ila adds a note to the next day’s lunchbox, and thus begins an unusual friendship in which Saajan and Ila can talk about their joys and sorrows without ever meeting in person.
(ahhhh my heart)
-Barfi: A charming prankster’s (Ranbir Kapoor) bittersweet relationship with two women (Priyanka Chopra, Ileana D'Cruz) turns his life upside-down.
(IT’S AN 86% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES PLEASE WATCH THIS MOVIE. DISABLED CHARACTERS. MAKES ME WANNA CRY MY EYEBALLS OUT.)
-Paa: A politician’s 13-year-old son has a rare disorder that makes him appear to be a grown man.
(Please everyone watch this if you can. It’s brilliant.)
Guaranteed 110% tears
If you wanna watch a movie about friendship:
-Zindagi Na Milegi Do Bara; Two lifelong friends (Hrithik Roshan, Farhan Akhtar) take a third (Abhay Deol) on a road trip through Spain instead of throwing a traditional bachelor party.
(Good direction, great cast, beautiful cinematography, good dialogues. WATCH IT. FEMALE DIRECTOR WINS THE EQUIVALENT OF AN OSCAR IN INDIA FRO THIS MOVIE.)
-Cocktail; Meera is a shy and simple traditional girl who leaves her family in India to live in London with her new husband Kunal . Meera searches for her husband and finally finds him, but he is angry to see her and explains that he only married Meera for her money, telling her to stay away from him. This leaves Meera heartbroken and stranded in London with no place to stay.While in the bathroom at a department store, Meera meets party girl Veronica who sees Meera weeping and decides to help her. They form an unlikely friendship with habitual flirt, Gautam.
(Very good and layered main characters) (Bonus: AMAZING FEMALE FRIENDSHIP)
-Dil Chahta Hai: Three friends, Akash (Aamir Khan), Sameer (Saif Ali Khan) and Siddharth (Akshaye Khanna), discover that post-collegiate life will test their tight-knit bond. As sweet Sameer falls for Pooja (Sonali Kulkarni), an unavailable beauty, Siddharth risks everything to pursue an older divorcée named Tara (Dimple Kapadia) whom his friends and family find unworthy of him. Meanwhile, brash Akash travels to Australia, where he reconnects with Shalini (Preity Zinta), a girl he’d previously wronged.
(Get past the horrible haircuts. Complex characters. Unconventional love story.)
If you wanna watch a movie with strong female characters:
A pregnant woman’s search for her missing husband takes her from London to Kolkata, but everyone she questions denies having ever met her husband.
(MIND-BLOWING JFC MOVIE)
-Dirty Picture :
The love story between an actress and a director. Inspired by the life of the late south Indian actress Silk Smitha.
(Flawed female characters. Complex as hell)
-Mary Kom: Indian boxer Mary Kom (Priyanka Chopra) becomes an Olympic bronze-medalist and a five-time world champion.
(Based on a real fucking woman. Inspiring as hell. #motherskickass)
-Fashion: Meghna (Priyanka Chopra) has always dreamed of getting out of her small Indian town and making it in the world of high fashion, but her parents have different ideas for her future. When she wins a local pageant, though, she picks up and moves to Mumbai to try to turn her dreams into reality. Although she initially finds success with modeling, she slips up when she gets impregnated by her married boss. Scared and alone, she must then decide if it is time to leave the big city. (Honest take on the fashion industry in India. Realistic female characters.)
If you wanna watch a movie that will make you think long after the move is over but also has you laughing:
- 3 idiots: Two friends looking for a lost buddy deal with a forgotten bet, a wedding they are forced to crash and an out of control funeral.
(Amazing take on the global eductation system. Funny. Good acting. GREAT dialogue)
- PK : A stranger’s childlike curiosity and world-view challenges people’s long-held notions, making friends of some and foes of others.
(Amazing take on religion. Funny. Good acting. GREAT dialogue)
-Munna bhai MBBS:
A man (Sanjay Dutt) poses as a doctor to prevent his father (Sunil Dutt) from learning he is a gangster
(Amazing take on the clinical approach to medicine. Good acting. GREAT dialogue. Watch the sequel too.)
I think you can probably guess that they’re by the same director. AKA king of film Raju Hirani. My three favourites from the list.
If you wanna watch a movie that makes you feel passionate about something:
- No one KIlled Jessica; Tending bar at an elite event in Delhi, India, Jessica (Myra Karn) refuses to serve three men after last call. One of the men, Manish (Mohammed Zeeshan Ayub), who’s the son of a big-time politician, shoots her in the head in response. There are dozens of eyewitnesses, but as Jessica’s sister, Sabrina (Vidya Balan), discovers, they are either conveniently forgetful or willing to sell their testimony to the highest bidder, leaving an open-and-shut case hostage to greed and political influence.
(FANTASTIC ACTING. TWO FEMALE MAIN CHARACTERS. BASED ON A TRUE STORY. WATCH. IT)
- Rang De Basanti: After a group of friends graduate from Delhi University, they listlessly haunt their old campus, until a British filmmaker (Alice Patten) casts them in a film she’s making about freedom fighters under British rule. Although the group is largely apolitical, the tragic death of a friend owing to local government corruption awakens their patriotism. Inspired by the freedom fighters they represent in the film, the friends collectively decide to avenge the killing.
(Truly beautiful. If you’re not Indian you might feel a little detached but it’s still really good. the friendships will tear a hole in you.)
- Chak De India: After failing to score the winning goal, Kabir Khan (Shah Rukh Khan), Captain of the Men’s Hockey Team is blamed for the team’s loss and fired. Years later he is given a chance to salvage his reputation, when he is offered the position as coach of the Women’s Hockey Team. One of his star players, Vidya (Vidya Malvade), is forced to convince her tradition-minded parents that she should be allowed to play as the team prepares for a big tournament in Australia.
(ABOUT AN ALL FEMALE HOCKEY TEAM. NEED I SAY MORE? also the speech in this movie is iconic)
- Lagaan: The year is 1893 and India is under British occupation. In a small village, the tyrannical Captain Russell (Paul Blackthorne) has imposed an unprecedented land tax on its citizens. Outraged, Bhuvan (Aamir Khan), a rebellious farmer, rallies the villagers to publicly oppose the tax. Russell offers a novel way to settle the dispute: he challenges Bhuvan and his men to a game of cricket, a sport completely foreign to India. If Bhuvan and his men can defeat Russell’s team, the tax will be repealed.
(Favourite sports movie of all time. a period film also. takes place in the pinnacle of the british occupation in india. keeps you on the edge of your seats. Good movie)
If you wanna watch a comedy movie with substance
-Dostana: Two straight guys pretend to be gay in order to secure a Miami apartment. When both of them fall for their roommate Neha, hilarity ensues as they strive to convince one and all that they’re gay, secretly trying to win her heart.
(One of the rare non-homophobic bollywood movies. Funny as hell. Khiron. Kher.)
-I Hate Luv Storys :A cynical assistant director (Imran Khan) must work with a sunny production designer (Sonam Kapoor) who adores romantic films.
(Spelt badly on purpose. Recommend after watch typical bollywood movies. Ironic comedy)
-Finding Fanny : Five friends from Goa get lost during a journey to discover the lot of the childhood sweetheart of an old postman.
(Not what it sounds like. FUNNY DIALOGUES ARE YOU KIDDING ME)
If you wanna watch movies with great music
- Aashiqui 2 :
Rahul loses his fans and fame due to alcoholism. But he then decides to turn a small time singer into a rising star
(music is WOW)
- Ek Villain :
When his lover becomes the latest victim of a serial killer, Guru blurs the line between good and evil in his pursuit of revenge.
( song are very WOW)
A villager, Gurukant Desai, arrives in Bombay 1958, and rises from its streets to become the GURU, the biggest tycoon in Indian history.
(music, WOW. also a pretty good movie.)
The tale of a young couple in love who elope and marry, but soon find that that marriage is not the bed of roses it is made out to be.
- Rockstar: Janardan wants to be a star and realizes he has to suffer through a tragedy to become famous.
(I have a love-hate relationship with this movie bc I loved everythng except the female lead)
GO FORTH MY LOVELIES AND DISCOVER BOLLYWOOD
(i’ll update this list if it get notes if not ill pretend this never happened)