Send me a word and I’ll write a little bit of drabble for all you lovelies <3
| BTS | Block B | WINNER (?) |Zion.T | Beenzino | Crush | Verbal Jint| Others Upon Request |
Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.
Opia: The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.
Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.
Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.
Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening
Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.
Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.
Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.
Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.
Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.
*I probably wont be doing these in order - and I may not do them all - and I don’t know how long it will take me to post - you’re probably regretting your dissension’s - sorry - but you wont be disappointed - writing takes time - and like - feels - all the feels - also bear with me I only know like two people in winner - I’m still learning*
The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
Requested by: Anonnieeee
She’ll come. She’ll be here. He spoke again, and again in the form of clouds of frozen smoke into the winter air. His thin jacket wouldn’t save him now- waiting all night for the last train seemed ludicrous to anyone else, but somehow to Taehyun sitting on a frozen bench at forty bellow felt like Christmas.
They met five years ago behind the school yard, she was new, lost, and needed a friend. He was old, still lost, and still needed a friend. A perfect combination right from the start, but when he moved to the big city and left her, their connection weakened, life moved on as did everything and they found themselves unknowingly alone in the world once again.
Every screech of wheels on the iron rails jolted electricity through his bones, but only for a moment. Though frozen, his hands managed to grip onto the picture she took for him, the picture the rest of the members tried to steel, but it was for him, and only him. It was his greatest treasure, so intimate as the day he took it for her. They never said it in words, but he knew they were something more than friends, more than labels and tags, they were each others.
11:25PM the carriage pulled up to the station, he ruffled his leather jacket and picked up the bouquet of flowers between the exposed fingers of his gloves. She’ll come. She’ll be here. He repeated again trying to warm his lips just for the sheer hope that the time apart would bring her to him in the way he always dreamed. The train was virtually empty aside from an older man pulling up the collar of his coat to shield from the cold, and a young women in a bright red coat stepping off three cars down from where Taehyun was standing. It was her.
He broke out in an embarrassing run not wanting her to think that she was alone again, not after all this time apart. But she wasn’t alone. She turned around after a strong arm was being linked with her own- lips bringing themselves to her ear and saying something that made her laugh. He was tall, and shielded her from the brisk chill of winter perching his head on hers, and Taehyun almost threw himself onto the live tracks.
‘Taehyun-ah!” She called to him sweetly like an old friend would and gripped the arm of the unknown man excitedly. Taehyun only snapped out of the confusion when he realized he had brought her flowers, her favorite carnations that matched her frozen lips. He was a fool. A love sick fool. He should have known that leaving her for so long after teaching her how incredible she was, how important her existence was to the world- it was no wonder that she’d found someone that made it all possible.
But he smiled at her through the broken shards of his heart and hugged her tenderly. She introduced the man with a sparkle in her eye and Taehyun shook his hand like an old friend saying how happy he was for her, and how well she was doing. To which she replied the same with that smile that could stop moving traffic, and he could do nothing but help them with their luggage and make a mental note to cancel dinner reservation for tomorrow.
He took one last glance back at the vacant station and felt as empty as the platform was now.
Had this complete confused moment of taring at a post on Tumblr and thinking ‘I swear to fucking God I wrote that’. And then I realise that yes, I did and holy shit, more than 4 people read my fanfiction.
Don’t mind me, I’m just the person freaking out in the corner of the room!
She sat huddled into herself in the corner of the shadowed room, and shook her head back and forth as always whispering “not again, not again”. But again always came like clockwork with him, he was a ticking time bomb that no medication, and no treatment could cure. He got it from his father and vowed his entire life that he wouldn’t be like him, how could someone behave in such away and to someone you care for the most.
When he finally came too his bones weakened at the sight of her shivering body. “Not again-” he rushed over too her, but like always she hesitated to look at him for fear of triggering him again. “You shouldn’t- you shouldn’t get close when I-” he feel to the floor in front of her taking a similar shape to her form.
“I’m sorry- I thought I could stop it- I thought I could help and-” she reached for him with the hand that had once clung to her forearm, when she she released her grip, she instantly regretted the action. Blood dripped from her fingertips as she rushed to replace her hand to cover the wound, but it was too late and the depression sunk into him like a plague. “Jintae- it- it doesn’t hurt- it’s just a scratch-”
“I’m a monster-” he cut her off breathlessly head in hands and two seconds away from throwing himself out the window. She moved to raise his head, and though wary, there was no way he’d fight her again.
“It’s not you- it’s the disease- it’s just the disease-” she steadied her breath in attempts to steady his, smoothing a hand over his tensed shoulders and repeating what she always did- “it’s just the disease-” He stayed fixated on her wound, inspecting the damage in hopes that he’d be too horrified to turn again- to become the thing that made their lives so terrifying.
“It wont stop- next time it will be worse- I’ll kill you-” the worst part about his condition was that he was only able to see the aftermath, and none of the cause. “I can’t keep you here-”
“No one’s forcing me to stay- this is my choice.” She helped him stand going back to clutching her arm, it was a little more painful than she let on, but she’d seen worse, handle worse, known worse pain than this and she was no going to let a sickness control her life. “I’m not going anywhere-”
The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
Where were you when it happened? That’s what they said now a days- were you on your way to school? Getting breakfast at your favorite dinner, or maybe you just got home from working the graveyard shift- For Namjoon- he’d just woken up to you for the first time.
He’d worked so hard to get to you- prove to you that he wasn’t like the others. And you finally began to trust again- that’s when the flare blasted and the riots broke out. That was five years ago- and he’d been searching for you ever since.
Always wishing he’d be with you- and never where he actually was. The quarantine zones were all but unmanned, at least all the ones he passed through to get back up north- to you.
He always wondered who was taking care of you- or who you were taking care of- who was lucky enough to feel the gentle pressure of your hand comforting them. How he wished he could send his spirit to search for yours and escape this hell.
But today- this one day trumped that first day. He knew exactly where he was when it happened- he knew that it was a rainy day and he almost missed you- you almost crossed paths and were lost to each other- again. Today Namjoon was thankful to be in his own skin- to not be spirits and have two feet planted firmly on the ground.
The sheer thought of feelings your skin grace his again, the soft hush of your breath on his neck- whispering ‘I love you’ and ‘never leave my sight again’-
“I looked for you-” he reached towards you cautiously taking in the amount of time you’ve been apart-
But you didn’t reach back- the distance and time was too much for you and there was no way to fix the wound- your moment of weakness seemed to cause a catastrophe spread world wide- and you could never forgive yourself. The idea was blasphemous- there was no way your emotions caused it, but you could never shake the feeling.
I never imagined I would be where I am.
I never imagined I would have to forgive someone for these kinds of horrible things.
I never imagined I would be hurt this badly by someome I love(d).
But I am, I do and I have been.
I dont know where to go from here. I don’t yet know how to forgive these things. And it doesn’t make sense to do these things to someone you are supposed to love. It is unfathomable and it breaks my heart all over again.
Please pray for me, y’all. For my heart, my forgiveness. For my future.
A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.
“I told you not to come here-” his body was hunched over, the desperate search for breath was catching in his lungs as he leered over the corpse. You knew what he was, what he did- and still you stayed. That’s only because you’ve never actually seen it-
“You don’t have to keep doing this-” your hand extended toward him, but your body held you back out of caution protecting itself from the man you didn’t recognize. You never interfered, but you couldn’t sit ideally by while the man took so many lives from command of another-
“What do you know!” he spat at the ground- you wondered if he would be sick- you wondered if this killed him more than the dead body beneath him. He swayed back and forth, like a dizzy spell- it seemed tragically out of character. The gun, once securely in his clutch, danced to the cement with a loud thud- you took this opportunity to run to him- steady him- hold him- cry with him- “Don’t touch me!”
His body seemed so detached from the sternness of his voice echoing in the alleyway, he was week, losing his senses, yet still so stubborn- “Who’s making you do this Z?” You pulled your long coat closer to your chest trying to find some sort of comfort, even if it was from yourself- “Who could make you do something so terrible-”
“I said leave!” His body hit the brick wall and slowly snaked down, his hands doing nothing to steady him- “I don’t want you to see me like this-” you were afraid he was going to fold into himself so much that he would disappear. “Your- your not safe here-” he sounded like he was drowning-
“I’m not leaving you here!” you stood strongly above him forcing his gaze to travel upwards- “Get up- we’ll leave- we’ll go right now-” you extended you hand to him once more craving his touch- wanting to know that this wasn’t all for naught-
“It’s not that simple-” he drugged using the support of the wall to tiredly bring himself to his feet, you extended your arms to steady his shoulders, his features seemed to be running down his face- but you were in this together. Where he went, you followed, no matter what-
“It can be- we’ll leave everything- get in the car and go somewhere- anywhere-” your desperate pleas of love weren’t enough to save you- as you saw from his changing expression-
“He’ll find me! No matter where I go! He’ll find me-”
**So I might continue this… hitman Zion.T sounds awesome…
Oh man I miss it, the hard work, the sweat, the cries of joy, pain, and sadness. Today was the first tournament ever, my first wrestling tournament that got me into wrestling at San Leandro. As soon as I stepped into that room I hear whistles blowing, coaches yelling out to their wrestlers, wrestlers ready to battle it out on the mat. It brings back memories, of all the years I wrestled, it made me miss it.
The sight of wrestlers ready, getting ready for their matches, those stares they give to their opponents to scare them. The brackets they have, the medals they give, and the effort they put into it. That’s what made my wrestling tournament worthwhile. I can still remember my first win, that feeling you get when it’s over, and you accomplished what you wanted the most. A win against an opponent, or those cries where you know you could have won with your potential, but lost because the lack of mentality and concentration. Or those times where you would go into overtime feeling tired and wanting to give up, but you don’t want to lose. Possibly the greatness where you threw your opponent to the ground hearing a thud, hearing the disgusted groans from the audience as they hear the sound. Made everything so great about wrestling, or the technical wins where you get so much more points than your opponent and the referee stops the match. Even the win by pin, holding them down and the blow from the whistle done by the referee. It made everything all worthwhile, it made my wrestling experience unforgettable. Every time I see the sight of the mat, or even watching a wrestling match in front of me, gets me fired up, wanting to wrestle again.
Man I miss it, everything about it. I can’t describe the feeling, you just know that once you start wrestling for a team, you can never forget it, at all. Maybe I will join again next year.