Things I’ve learned writing and reading fic:
If a descriptive word in a sentence or an action in a scene doesn’t add to the imagery, cadence, emotional weight, plot, cut it. More isn’t better.
If a touch is emotionally significant, don’t just tell what they did: tell how it felt. Mention the warmth of the other’s hands, the weight of their head on the lover’s shoulder.
Keep in mind whose point of view you’re telling the story from, and don’t describe their partner’s unspoken thoughts or feelings, unless they’re visible in their partner’s body; then you can mention the hesitance in their smile, the fear in their eyes, the sudden joy clear in their tone.
Don’t use verbs that create contradictory imagery; don’t evoke violence in a tender scene. If they’re kissing, they’re not crashing together; that means hard surfaces and noise and unpleasantness. They’re not crushing each other’s mouths, unless they’re jealous or angry or frightened. Use words that bring up the emotions they feel; two people in love and at peace sink into each other, they press into the touch, they taste and savor and drink each other in.
Try to create the space they exist in, the sounds and the scents, the light, little things in the room–not every detail, just a few relevant to the mood of the space; the reader will fill in the rest.
Don’t create drama for drama’s sake; have reasons. If a character is cruel, or incommunicative, why? What are they afraid of, remembering, hurt by, too proud to admit? If they finally give in and kiss their love, what changed, or built up to the breaking point?–what made them brave enough?
At the moment of crisis, their thoughts should be blunt, breathless–short sentences; feeling, realizing, not analyzing. Analysis comes after, as they begin to calm.
The things you write and rewrite until you can’t read them anymore–they’ll mean something to someone. The things you write all in a rush and never rework will mean something too. Not everyone will love each phrase, but someone will. Be brave.