inch water

I didn’t read Marlena by Julie Buntin but this is what the description is: 

Everything about fifteen-year-old Cat’s new town in rural Michigan is lonely and off-kilter until she meets her neighbor, the manic, beautiful, pill-popping Marlena. Cat is quickly drawn into Marlena’s orbit and as she catalogues a litany of firsts—first drink, first cigarette, first kiss, first pill—Marlena’s habits harden and calcify. Within the year, Marlena is dead, drowned in six inches of icy water in the woods nearby. Now, decades later, when a ghost from that pivotal year surfaces unexpectedly, Cat must try again to move on, even as the memory of Marlena calls her back.

I know the whole “Girl meet boy in new town” story is overdone but also, the boring girl meets ~crazy girl story is overdone af and honestly, as the self-described “Crazy Girl,” it’s more than a little offensive, ESPECIALLY when the “manic, beautiful, pill-popping” girl irrevocably ends up dead. I happen to be manic, beautiful and pill-popping!!!!! Granted, those pills are prescription but still. Like is that honestly all that girls like me are good for? To die a painful death because we have the gall to beautiful, mentally ill, and to desire more from life than a boring suburban existence? I hate it so much and I see it ALL the time in books that are targeted to young women. 

I understand that most of the audience that reads these books identifies with the so-called Cat, who is far more staid and well, unremarkable than Marlena, but as somebody that instinctively identifies with Marlena, these books just feel offensive and really unfair! Like, all I want is stories where I’m represented not as a dead girl, where I’m allowed to survive and thrive despite the state of my mind. Is that too much to ask?

AU where Dumbledore’s Army uses the Chamber of Secrets instead of the Room of Requirement
  • Ultimate security as Harry is the only one capable of opening it. 
  • Myrtle proudly spending her time acting as a guard/lookout. 

  • Later, Harry diligently teaching Ron, Hermione, and a few choice others, like Neville, how to mimic parseltongue so that they can open it too. 

  • Muggleborns experiencing vicious satisfaction that they’re using this chamber as a place of education and defense, reclaiming the very space Slytherin built to rid the school of their presence. 

  • Hermione methodically dismantling the basilisk’s corpse, covertly selling the priceless ingredients to potion masters, using the funds to continue their work - buying books and battle robes and new wands for those who can’t afford it. 

  • (Hermione saving a portion of those ingredients for her own research, straightening in triumph when she learns what basilisk venom does to horcruxes, knowing she has vials of it hidden up in her room). 

  • Harry reverently adding the Chamber of Secrets to the Marauder’s Map, proudly continuing his family’s work and reveling in the difference they’re making. 

  • These students - these kids - choosing to train in a dark, horrifying place that was never meant for them. Learning spells amongst shadows, growing stronger in inches of murky water, the smell of a decomposing corpse in their noses, memories of all that had happened here haunting them. They know this is what war is really like and it helps to push them forward.  

Years and years ago, there was a production of The Tempest, out of doors, at an Oxford college on a lawn, which was the stage, and the lawn went back towards the lake in the grounds of the college, and the play began in natural light. But as it developed, and as it became time for Ariel to say his farewell to the world of The Tempest, the evening had started to close in and there was some artificial lighting coming on. And as Ariel uttered his last speech, he turned and he ran across the grass, and he got to the edge of the lake and he just kept running across the top of the water — the producer having thoughtfully provided a kind of walkway an inch beneath the water. And you could see and you could hear the plish, plash as he ran away from you across the top of the lake, until the gloom enveloped him and he disappeared from your view.

And as he did so, from the further shore, a firework rocket was ignited, and it went whoosh into the air, and high up there it burst into lots of sparks, and all the sparks went out, and he had gone.

When you look up the stage directions, it says, ‘Exit Ariel.’

—  Tom Stoppard, University of Pennsylvania, 1996
8

Endless list of favourite films: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009).  

It was a student who gave me Francis. One Spring afternoon I discovered a bowl on my desk, just a few inches of clear water in it. Floating on the surface was a flower petal. As I washed, it sank. Just when it reached the bottom, it transformed into a wee fish. It was beautiful magic, wondrous to the behold.

Tattoo Tips

hi guys i have a tattoo tips page here if you need it, i realized you can’t get to it from the app so here’s whats on it:

So when my friends and I were first doing these we looked all over on how to do them right and such but there wasn’t a lot about it so here’s some tips we’ve learned so far.

  • I used to use Higgins ink and now I use Intenze true black tattoo ink. It comes out a lot darker and is probably safer.
  • If the tattoo is just an outline and is bigger than an inch use a thicker needle than if it were something small. this will darken and thicken the outline
  • ALWAYS USE A STERILE NEEDLE… We originally used needles from a hospital but then bought tattoo needles on Amazon. The tattoo needles were so much better to work with. They come in all different sizes and some have multiples together that make it so much easier to do straight lines.
  • Draw the tattoo image in a thin colored sharpie.
  • Draw the image on the skin as the skin is laying normal but when poking over it, stretch the skin tight giving you space for more pokes so that when you let go and it goes back to normal the tattoo with be darker.
  • Before doing anything clean the skin with rubbing alcohol.
  • Shave the area the tattoo is going before giving the tattoo.
  • Wrap the needle in string until the point is very small, like an 8th of an inch small.
  • I use water to wipe the excess ink away but  that can whip the sharpie image away too so be careful.
  • Pain level: Hurts like a bitch but once you’re done it doesn’t hurt. it’s just a little sore since the skin will be raised.
  • Keep your tattoo moisturized like with Vaseline or not scented lotion  
  • I would suggest using transfer paper (I bought mine off amazon) so that you can draw exactly what you want easily and then transfer it to the body but remember draw it backwards is that when it’s transferred it’ll be forward.

anonymous asked:

What's your favorite recipe?

not combat rations, thats for sure. ive had enough of those for a lifetime. 

but my latest food hit has been pretzel bites. pretzels are an awesome food but rarely available fresh when i want to eat them, which is usually when i’ve woken up in the middle of the night. they’re relatively labor-intensive to make, which is good once the insomnia sets in. keeps me busy. plus, pretzels are sweet on the inside, salty on the outside, just like me. except im also salty on the inside. dont listen to steve.

when i make pretzels, it’s by the metric ton, so the recipe i have makes approximately a million of them.probably you will not want this many, because you don’t have thor or steve to help you eat them. or clint. probably you could just shove some into a vaccum cleaner instead, thatd be about the same. so divide the recipe in half or quarters for normal human consumption. take 11 cups of flour, 1 cup of brown sugar, ½ cup of oil and mix. 4 cups of warm water gets 11 teaspoons of yeast and sits for a bit, then goes in the flour mix. then mix it and let it rise for about an hour. the dough should be sticky to the touch and absolutely awful to get out of your metal fingers. while you wait, wander your living area for some poor sucker to rope into helping you, because stage 2 is easier with help. or you can sit down and wonder why you talk yourself into doing things like this. consider your choices. it’s already too late to go back to sleep; youve got dough rising.

get a deep fry pan or sauce pan and fill with about two inches of water. bring it to a rolling boil on the stove and add in three or so tablespoons of baking soda. you really can’t do too much of that, as long as the water’s not getting super cloudy. preheat the oven to 400 degrees. wake steve up and tell him he has to help. 

get a couple egg yolks in a bowl with a basting brush, and find some kosher salt or sea salt. grease up a few pans. 

flour a surface and roll the dough out until it’s between ½ and ¼ in thick. get your poor unsuspecting minion to cut out bite sized bits. i use an inch and a half circle cookie cutter, but you can use whatever you want, really. tony used a laser cutter last time i let him help, which was…not ideal.

drop the cut outs into the boiling soda water, and let them sit for a few seconds, then fish them out. you can use your robot hand for that, but again, you’ll be getting dough out of it for days. i let them drip dry on a cookie drying sheet, but you could also drop them on a clean dishtowel i guess. you just dont want them to be wet when you put them on the cookie sheet. 

they’re not gonna expand a ton, so just stuff em up close to each other on the sheet. paint the tops with egg yolks and sprinkle with salt. pop em in the oven for 10-15 min or until golden brown. 

repeat the boiling-and-baking until you want to die, then keep going until you run out of dough. while the last batch is baking, take a half a stick of butter, a quarter cup of flour and make a roux in a saucepan. add two cups of milk and two cups of cheddar cheese, some salt and pepper to taste, and a quarter cup of mustard, give or take. im showing you how much to use with my hands but you cant see it. sorry, i dont really measure stuff most of the time. heat and stir till it’s melty and amazing, and dip pretzels on in there. 

by the time you have completed this process and eaten as many pretzel bites as you want–and there will be enough. it’s a dang big recipe–you will want to enter a food coma and sleep forever. or for 70 years or so.

there. insomnia fixed.

anonymous asked:

Spell to Connect to forest! Please ❤

Awesome! Okay!

Originally posted by arcusxx

Inner Forest Jar - 

This recipe is to bring to mind the forest and can be used as a substitute for a forest.

Ingredients - 

  • 1 cup Dirt or craft sand
  • 1 pine cone/bunch of needles and/or an acorn
  • 1 tsp river water or purified water
  • 1 inch of moss (wild-crafted, or craft supplies)
  • a smooth stone, preferably from a forest
  • 1 jar
  • twine (for aesthetics)
  • 1 candle and/or incense that reminds you of the forest 

Step 1 - Prepare your ingredients and create your space for magic, however your normally do it. Then light your incense and a candle. Play soothing forest sounds, maybe add some rain (check out Rainy Mood).

Step 2 - Think of being in the forest, and add your dirt/sand by hand into your jar. Feel the earth in your hands. Smell the dirt. Next add a few drops of your water and smell the way the dirt changes scents (just enough to get it damp, not to make mud).

Step 3 - Add your stone, and then place your moss on the stone. think of the boulders and trees you see with moss growing on them in the forest. Add a pine cone or needles, smell the sap, and see the trees. Add an acorn and think of the way life grows in the forest. 

Step 4 - Pass the jar through the incense or over the candle 3 times. Chant or envision the jar turning into your forest. This jar is a safe place for a forest to grow. Place the lid on the jar and wrap the twine around the top three times, sealing the forest inside of the jar. 

Now you have a mini forest in a jar! Use as a mediation method or to bring the energy of the forest to spells or altars. Open the lid and breath in the scent of the forest to calm down. If anything sprouts, such as the pine cones or acorn, or the moss grows, you can return them to the forest the next time you visit, or plant outside/in a pot.

Thank for the suggestion!

GREY AREA. (M) | 06

“And just like that, your fate was sealed - because Min Yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. But hell, if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so.

And sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

cr.

“I think that friendship is as powerful as true romantic love. And I think that friendship can save you, and heal the parts of you that you didn’t know were broken, and change your life.” - Sarah J Maas

 Pairing: Yoongi/Reader
 Word Count: 11,085
 Genre/Warnings: Soulmate AU, Angst

→  Chapter Index

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: suicide is sort of insinuated.




You let out a low sigh at the vibration of your phone going off, this seeming to be the millionth time it had sounded and you were beginning to lose your patience.


You had rolled over from your side to where you laid flatly on your back, the never ending vibrations had ripped you from your slumber, something that not even Taehyung was brave enough to do.

Keep reading

DIY Natural Lip Balm

Ingredients:

  • 1 Tablespoon Beeswax or Candelilla Wax(Vegan Alternative)
  • 1 Tablespoon Shea Butter
  • 1 Tablespoon Coconut Oil
  • 15-20 drops of Essential Oil

Materials:

  • Lip Balm Container
  • Tablespoon
  • Plastic Pipette
  • Double Boiler

__________________________________<\p>

If you have experience in making your own products, skip this section and get started on making your own lip balms! If not, keep reading for helpful information and tips!

Let’s get started!

First thing is first, have all ingredients out and ready for use! When working with wax and oils, the last thing you want is anything over-boiling or drying on you! For the Double boiler, you will need a saucepan & a small pot. 

  1. Begin by adding water to your saucepan, just enough to heat your small pot. Place small pot inside of saucepan. Turn heat on high temp. After pot is heating, add 1 tbsp. of Beeswax, Shea Butter, and Coconut Oil to your small pot, and stir well until ingredients melt.
  2. Add 15-20 drops of your essential oil. I used a mixture of Tea Tree for healing, Lavender for soothing, and Rosemary & Jasmine for an additional lovely fragrance. Feel free to play around with your essential oils to create your own signature scent, but be sure to only add 15-20 drops total!
  3. Here’s the fun part! Adding the ingredients to your tubes! This is where your plastic pipette comes in handy. When you are done filling your tubes, do not put the caps on until it is completely dry so it can dry faster! Congratulations! You’re all done! Enjoy your new homemade Lip Balm!

Please contact me if you have any questions!

To purchase the product pictured, visit www.etsy.com/shop/jeditree

8

8 vegetables that you can regrow again and again.

Scallions

You can regrow scallions by leaving an inch attached to the roots and place them in a small glass with a little water in a well-lit room.

Garlic

When garlic begins to sprout, you can put them in a glass with a little water and grow garlic sprouts. The sprouts have a mild flavor than garlic and can be added to salads, pasta and other dishes.

Bok Choy

Bok choy can be regrown by placing the root end in water in a well-lit area. In 1-2 weeks , you can transplant it to a pot with soil and grow a full new head.

Carrots

Put carrot tops in a dish with a little water. Set the dish in a well-lit room or a window sill.  You’ll have carrot tops to use in salads. 

Basil

Put clippings from basil with 3 to 4-inch stems in a glass of water and place it in direct sunlight. When the roots are about 2 inches long, plant them in pots to and in time it will grow a full basil plant.

Celery

Cut off the base of the celery and place it in a saucer or shallow bowl of warm water in the sun. Leaves will begin to thicken and grow in the middle of the base, then transfer the celery to soil. 

Romaine Lettuce

Put romaine lettuce stumps in a ½ inch of water. Re-water to keep water level at ½ inch. After a few days, roots and new leaves will appear and you can transplant it into soil.

Cilantro

The stems of cilantro will grown when placed in a glass of water. Once the roots are long enough, plant them in a pot in a well-lit room. You will have a full plant in a few months.

The Plumber

When a pipe in the middle of campus bursts, it causes a significant problem for a number of students. They have classes on the other side of the sidewalks that are currently awash in running water three times wider than the sprinkler overflow. And annoyingly enough, it’s a water main. So it’s not just three or four sidewalks covered, but half the campus is cut off from the dorms and other buildings. The grass is swimming in it, and the water is coming out just fast enough that it flows there too, like a swamp. There’s a significant portion of faculty that can’t cross, either, and there’s a general, heavy feeling of unease as those who can cross the water begin to realize the friend they were walking with is stopped just before it. Stuck.

She isn’t called.

But sometime around lunch, when the crowded cafeteria is even more packed than usual thanks to people who can’t go back to their dorms, a big, unmarked truck pulls into the parking lot, and a woman climbs out of the driver’s seat. She opens the back on an array of tools, a number of which she puts in a bucket, and a few of which she puts on her shoulder before, without being told, she wades into the now-four-inches-deep water and follows it to its source.

Trailing on her heels is something that is not a dog. The Gentry know it is not a dog, and clear a path for the mortal woman it accompanies without having to be told. Ignoring, deliberately, that she comes only with a ring of steel, wrenches of aluminum, and not an ounce of salt to be found on her person.

A student that sees it go by remembers a voice, lost now, whispering in their ear “It’s a dog today” and hurries into a building out of its line of sight.

The Plumber surveys the damage, the water six inches deep here where the break is, and sighs.

“Water,” she tells the crowd, “Is not going to be available to that half of campus,” she points to the dorms, “until this is fixed. I’ll have to shut it off. No showers, don’t use the toilets.”

She knows the word will get to where it needs to go, and moves off to find the shutoff with the Not-A-Dog trotting at her side. He helps her dig out the pipe itself, because she didn’t bring a digger or any heavy equipment, and she thanks him with a scratch behind the ears and a kiss on the nose.

After, she swears, blistering the air almost visibly, when the problem comes to light. It reminds the watchers that she wasn’t called. She’s simply shown up where she’s needed, because this is a thick pipe; an old pipe. It’s been eaten away by time, cracked, and collapsed, and a fairly large section of it is unsalvageable. She’s going to have to cut it out.

That brings a few more almost familiar curses to light where They flinch, knowing too-well where she learned them, and with whom she walks.

Somehow, one of the Geology Lab’s rock-cutters is in her bucket of tools. It makes cutting out the ruined section of pipe much faster, and she doesn’t question it. She measures, swears, cuts, and all the while the crowd, standing around in almost-stagnant water, inches a little closer and a little closer.

Keep reading

Cheesy Cauliflower Breadstcks 

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 medium head cauliflower
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 1 cup mozzarella cheese, shredded, divided in half
  • ½ cup shredded parmesan cheese
  • 4-6 fresh basil leaves, finely chopped (or 1.5 tsp dried basil)
  • 2 cloves of garlic, minced (or ½ tsp garlic powder)
  • 1 teaspoon dried oregano

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.
  2. Rinse and chop cauliflower into florets.
  3. In a blender or food processor, pulse cauliflower until it has a “rice” consistency.
  4. Heat about 1 inch of water in a large saucepan until it boils.
  5. Add the cauliflower and cover with a lid. Steam for about 5 minutes and remove from heat.
  6. Drain the cauliflower in a fine mesh strainer, pressing against edges with a spatula. Let it cool for a few minutes.
  7. Place cauliflower in a clean dish towel and wring out as much excess water as possible.
  8. In a large bowl, add cauliflower, ½ cup mozzarella cheese, 1 egg, garlic, chopped basil, and oregano. Stir well.
  9. On baking sheet lined with parchment paper, use your hands to form the cauliflower mixture into a rectangle covering just about the whole pan.
  10. Bake for 30 minutes, until crust is golden brown. Remove from heat.
  11. Top crust with the rest of your mozzarella and parmesan cheese, and bake for another 7-10 minutes. (Once cheese is melted.)
  12. Remove from heat, and cut into “breadsticks” with a pizza cutter.
  13. Serve warm with marinara sauce and enjoy!
His Naughty Girl (M) // Kim Yugyeom

Originally posted by polarbeom

Pairing: Yugyeom x Reader

Genre: Smut

Summary/Request: You and Yugyeom get up to no good in the shower (need I say more?)

Please note that this scenario is rated M for MATURE as it contains smut, face sitting, oral etc


“I’m off for a shower babe” you chimed to Yugyeom as he sat on your bed, leafing through one of your celebrity magazines you bought a few weeks ago.

“Uhhuh” he murmured incoherently back at you, being too engrossed in one of the gossip columns to respond properly. You raised your eyebrow and shook your head sarcastically at how dopey he could act sometimes, but ultimately loving him nonetheless. “I know how to fix that” you smiled to yourself as you stepped in front of your mirrored wardrobe and dropped your dressing gown on the floor, letting it pool around your ankles with a light thud before you began rummaging for your bra and knickers to bring into the bathroom. Hearing the small commotion, Yugyeom raised his eyes to the very lovely sight of your bare derrière as you stood up straight and wrapped a towel around you. He licked his lips subconsciously at the sight of your womanly curves, feeling the all too familiar sensation of his bulge growing just that little bit larger in his pants as your twirled around and smiled at him – full of playful seductiveness before winking at him and making your way into the shower.

Keep reading

Quick and Easy Vegan Snacks

Apples and Peanut butter

This is something people either seem to have known about forever, or they find the concept so weird that when you mention it they just look at you funny and back away slowly.

Slice up some apples, grab some peanut butter, and use the apple wedges to scoop up the peanut butter. There’s a bit of an art to manipulating the peanut butter, but it’s one worth mastering because omnomnomnomnom.


‘Baked’ Potatoes

Grab a potato, wash it if you need to. Stab a bunch of holes in the top or slice a cross halfway through it. Microwave on high for a few minutes then stab it with a knife to see if it’s soft inside, it’s different depending on the size of the potato and the power of the microwave. Once you know the rough time, you can just do that.

Toppings - vegan butter/marg, hummus, crushed garlic or garlic salt, cashew cream cheese, brewers/nutritional yeast, chopped fresh chives or spring onion, the list goes on


Couscous

Instant couscous like you can get in most supermarkets is super quick and easy to make. It tastes like pasta (because it’s made of the same stuff), and you can flavour it however you want.

Boil water, pour a cup of boiled water for every half cup of couscous, leave it for a couple of minutes, add a pinch of salt if you want, and fluff it up with a fork.

For flavourings (if you want them) you could just add a dab of vegan butter or margaraine, a teaspoon of mustard, or a splash of whatever stirfry, curry, or pasta sauce you have in the cupboard.


Noodles

Instant noodles are awesome. The instant noodle cups are rough on the environment, so I try to avoid the ones with the styrofoam cups at least, or use noodles you can cook on the stove or in the microwave instead.

Sometimes finding your preferred noodles that don’t use animal unfriendly oil can be a bit of a challenge, but they’re out there! And there’s a whole range of noodles to choose from that cook almost as quickly as the instant variety (my favourite are these awesome ones made from sweet potato starch that are so springy you could use them for slingshots if you weren’t busy nomming them because they’re AMAZING with peanut sauce).

The flavour options can vary too. I’ve come across a fair few ‘chicken’ noodle packets that were accidentally vegan. If you just got plain noodles, or you’re mixing it up a little, here’s some of the easy sauces I like to use.

Sweet chilli sauce - make sure you drain the noodles for this one

Soy sauce - combined with sweet chilli sauce it’s really frickin’ good. You can drain the noodles or keep the water, either’s good.

Veggie stock - one cube to a cup of noodles (with water)

Barbecue sauce - just a little bit sweetens the noodles up nicely. Drain the noodles.

Peanut butter and soy sauce - A tablespoon of peanut butter, a splash of soy sauce, heat in the microwave (to melt the peanut butter) or stir straight through hot drained noodles, nommy. Add a bit of chilli if you like it spicy.


Optional extras

Frozen mixed veggies will also cook in roughly the same time as the noodles so long as they’re small, if they’re bigger, just put them in a few minutes earlier and then add the noodles to the boiling water.

You might find you like nuts and seeds in noodles, I prefer them in noodle dishes with thicker, more complex sauces, but that’s a personal preference.

Small TVP chunks will cook in roughly the same time as the noodles, and they flavour easily.


Sandwich type constructions

The humble sandwich. Cultures all around the world have developed technology to wrap some kind of delicious bread type scaffolding around other types of deliciousness. Pita pockets, Tortillas, Bagels, Burgers, Subs, the list goes on.

Some easy things to stuff in your bread type scaffolding:

  • Fresh tomato slices, fresh Basil (optional), and hummus. It’s super simple and it’s delicious. Also great toasted.
  • Banana sandwiches. I don’t know if this is a New Zealand thing only or what, but seriously, dry bread, or margaraine, or whatever, and banana slices. That’s all. It’s divine.
  • Avocado and tomato. With a sprinkle of salt and a splash of lemon juice if you’ve got it. Also fabulous toasted.
  • Tabbouleh. If you can get it easily ready made from the supermarket, this goes great on any kind of bread related construct. Also goes fabulously with hummus.
  • Falafel. Microwave a few spoonfuls for a minute or two, add to bread, add tomato sauce, barbecue sauce, mustard, hummus, whatever. Devour.


Cracker type things

There’s all kinds of crunchy crispy nommy things out there - rice or corn cakes, rice crackers, water crackers, the list goes on.

Stuff to put on them or dip them in

  • Peanut butter - surprisingly nommy on corn/rice cakes
  • Hummus - unsurprisingly nommy on everything
  • Fresh tomato (awesome with fresh basil)
  • Avocado
  • Olives - There’s two kinds of people in this world. The ones who love olives, and the unlucky ones who don’t have the joy of olives in their lives.
  • Sliced banana - especially good on rice/corn cakes


Sticks, chips and dips

Stuff to dip with -

  • Carrot sticks
  • Celery sticks
  • Corn chips
  • Tortilla chips
  • Toasted pita bread
  • Mini spring rolls (raw or cooked)

Stuff to dip in -

  • Hummus - it comes in a million flavours
  • Pesto (just need to find a vegan one, or make your own :) )
  • Mustard
  • Salsa - home made or store bought
  • Sweet chilli sauce


Toast

Much like the humble sandwich, perhaps even pre dating it, we like to put stuff on bread, all kinds of bread.

  • Peanut butter - seriously. Just go buy some peanut butter and eat it
  • Bananas - yep, sliced bananas on toast is amazing.
  • Fresh tomato - Add salt, pepper (if you like it), and it’s divine
  • Avocado - mashed on toast with a fork, a pinch of salt, and some lemon juice, it’s divine.
  • Marmite - So about half the western world will know what I’m talking about. The rest will be dazed and confused. Google it. It’s awesome. Half of you will instantly hate it. Half of you will become helpless addicted to the magnificent mountain of b vitamins that is marmite. Also related to vegemite.
  • Baked beans - Heat em up, pile em on.


Pretzels

They’re cheap, they’re crunchy (cept for the giant soft ones, which are awesome in their own right), and they’re little edible bows. what more could you want? They’re usually vegan friendly, but it’s worth checking the bag just in case.


Vegetables

Yep. Grab some veggies, I quite like cauliflower and broccoli, put them in a covered microwave safe bowl and heat on high power for a couple of minutes. Then add whatever sauces you like (there’s a whole bunch listed here)

If you don’t have a microwave or don’t want to use one, just add about two cm (just under an inch) of water to a pot, add the veggies and cover. Bring to the boil on high heat, let it boil for a couple of minutes, then drain the water and the veggies should be cooked and nicely crisp.

WE DON'T CHOOSE OUR FAMILY (BATFAMILY/JASON TODD X READER) PART 3

I WOULD LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS CHAPTER TO @awkard-fangirl88 FOR MAKING ME GET MY SHIT TOGETHER AND WRITING THIS PART.

now guys I have absolutely no excuse as to why I’m so late with this chapter. I would like to apologize to everyone I kept waiting, I hope it will not happen again but I never know what will happen.

SCENARIO- The joker finally has his daughter but for how long.

Warnings- talk of mental abuse, physical abuse, language (of course)

——————————————

You grunted as you held on to the wound that covered your left side. You were limping as you saw the exit coming closer and closer. Closer to freedom. You could hear the sound of boots behind you and dogs barking but you just ignored it and kept limping towards your only chance of seeing the outside world again. A world you haven’t seen for 6 months.

You don’t believe it’s been 6 months since you were on the ladder of that helicopter with your joke of a father.

You remembered the look on your families faces as they discovered your nature, who your real blood was. Thank god that Harley Quinn wasn’t your real mother, because that would make things so much better. (Who knew you could fit so much sarcasm in one sentence)

You only ever saw her once in a while and it never ended well for her. She was a good woman, crazy, but a good woman.
Harley never deserved to be played by the joker, he twisted her mind worse than even his was. He was crazy because he ignored everything, she was crazy because she ignored everything except love and love can make you insane, that one true, no escaping from your own mind, insane.

Your time with your father had not been much better. From the beginning all he did was try to tear you down, so you could be made to his picture.

Flashback.

You felt the cold water hit your face as you lied on the cold medal slab in the back of your cell in nothing but sweatpants and a dirty white tank top.

Your “room” only had the necessities. A small barred window, a calendar, a toilet, a slab of metal called a bed, and a sink. Also the floor was filled with 3 inches of water.

“Wakes wakey sugar, time for another one of daddy’s quizzes.” You heard the joker say from the other side of the bars where he stood holding a now empty bucket.

“No.” You said throwing your forearm over your eyes.

You had been locked up in this hell hole for 4 months now and you were done. The joker made sure you had a calender in your room so you knew every single day that passed by the sun that shined through the tiny barred window you had and you were sick and tired of his games. Not in the way of you wanted to die, just you were done with playing to his whims.

“See I don’t remember, ASKING YOU!” He yelled as he flipped the switch causing hundreds of volts of electricity to shoot through the water of your cell, up to you where it felt like a lightning rod was being sown through your skin.

You screamed bloody murder as you arched your back off the metal slab and could feel your head wanting to explode.
Your heard the switch click off and the joy of your fathers laughter from the other side of your cell as you curled into a ball and held your head.

You weren’t what you used to be. They didn’t feed you the right food to keep you strong and you couldn’t work out from being so weak all the time, so your muscles slowly started to deteriorate. Your strength was apart of your combat style and was starting to leave you defenseless.

“Now be a good girl and get up.” He said as he opened the door to your cell.

You rolled off the slab and landed on your knees, on the water covered floor. You struggled to pick yourself back up off the floor, which used to be a easy task, now, not so much. He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers as two guards came in and picked you up by your arms and dragged you out of the room behind your other 23 chromosomes donor.

It was the same as everyday since you’ve been here. You were sat in a all dark room with a projector with hundreds of pictures of the batfam. Damian and you taking out the riddler, Dick hanging out with Tim in full consume on top of Wayne enterprises, Bruce with the justice league and finally Jason.

He was out with the rest of the outlaws taking out a threat you had no idea about. You felt your muscles tense as you looked at him, with his guns pulled out and his mask on, he looked amazing. You could tell exactly what face he was making under that mask, you knew what he was thinking and it hurt.

Everyday it would be new more recent pictures and you noticed that all of the batfam looked more weary than usual, especially Jason. He was more brutal than normal and sloppy.

At the end of each “session” you would be asked one question.

“Who are they to you?”

Every single time you replied with your held high and said the words that kept you going through all of the misery.

“They’re my family.”

You would then be dragged back to your cell and do the same thing the next day, but on the last day of the 6th month of you being tortured, things were different.

When you were dragged back and thrown into your cell, you instantly passed out from hitting your head on the metal bed. Thank god you landed face up or you would have drowned from the water, you desperately hated.

When you woke up hours later, you noticed someone standing at the front of your cell with the door open. It was Harley Quinn who had tears streaked down her face.

“Sugar you gotta go, I’ve got about 5 minutes before they come for both of us and this is the only way I’m helping.” She said in a worried voice that still managed to sound perky as she outstretched a hand to help you up.

You looked at her red nail polish with a eye brow raised. You didn’t understand, was it a test put together by your father or was the infamous Harley Quinn being genuinely kind.

“Why?” You croaked out as she started to shake her hand in a fast motion signaling for you to grab it.

“I’m stuck in this life, I chose it for myself, you didn’t and you don’t deserve it.” She said in a harsh whispered voice as she kept leaning back and peaking down the hall.

You looked at her once more, then grabbed her hand hoisting yourself up. As soon as you were standing next to her, a slight prick sensation was in your right arm. You looked down to see Harley pushing a clear liquid from a needle into your arm. You felt the room go brighter and your senses grow sharper.

“What the fuck did you just give me.” You said as you rise to your full height and heard your back pop from not being properly stretched out in the past few months.

“That darlin, is what we call pure adrenaline, I say you have about 15 minutes before you start to feel like death.” She said with a small giggle and looked at a nonexistent watch on her wrist.

“Well toodles” she said, then skipped down the hall, her pigtails bouncing with each step.

“Fucking crazy ass lady.” You said as you stepped out of your cell and turned down the familiar hall where you were then ambushed by a bunch of goons who managed to injure you with a dagger down the left side of your stomach, which led to where you are now.

Flashback over

You could feel the last bits of adrenaline wearing off, it burned through your system so fast it only lasted about ten minutes. You limped through the final door, managing to put all of your body weight on it and tune the handle and took in your surroundings.

You were on a cliff that over looked some unknown body of water, in the middle of the night, with the moon being the only source of major light. You looked behind you to see the bastard coming up the stairs wth his army behind him.

“Welp looks like I only have one option.” You muttered to yourself as you took a a running start and leaped off the cliff.

4 months later in midway city

You had absolutely no idea how you survived that jump. All you could remember was jumping off the cliff, then the next thing you know, you’re waking up on a beach in the middle of the day.

You sat there covered in sand for what felt like days but was only probably about 3 hours. You just needed a minute, as you tore off the ends of your sweatpants to make a makeshift bandage for your wound.

You couldn’t go back home, could you even call it that anymore, home? They would hate you, they would try to lock you away. You couldn’t be locked away again, you wouldn’t let them.

You got off that beach and walked for what felt like hours until you stopped in Midway city. You smelled like the ocean, not in a good way, you hadn’t taken a proper shower for months, you were starving and cold but that’s exactly where you made your final decision.

You would rebuild yourself here, start a new life, be a new person. Leave everyone and everything in your old life, sadly though it truly meant everyone. You’ve been here ever since.

Meanwhile in Gotham

“BATMAN, JOKER SPOTTING ON THE SOUTH STREET!” Tim shouted into the coms as he jumped from building to building.

“On it.” Almost every single person in the batfam said at once into the coms.

Jason and Dick were on their cycles at different points in the city on route to the site. Damian and Bruce drove in the batmobile while Barbara rode on top because she quote said “because I’m batgirl.”

They all arrived in a exact unison surrounding the Joker. After you were taken they all dedicated there time to keep there eyes on the look out for the joker and their spare time looking for you.

When you were first taken they searched everywhere, in uniform and out of uniform, night and day, but they couldn’t find you anywhere. There were no clues or leads so they were just running in blind. They had to slow down after 3 months when the villains of Gotham got worse, they thought the bat was done for.

Jason took your abduction the hardest, you were his rock, his anchor, his one true love and he felt like he didn’t even have the balls to tell you how he felt. He never would have cared you were that bastards daughter. You weren’t like him, you showed Jason that even people that came from demons, could turn into angels.

“Where is she, you freaking lunatic?” Jason growled through clenched teeth, as he pulled his guns on the joker who only stood in the middle of the circle of heroes, looking at the ground.

Jason fired a bullet that zipped by his ear as the rest of the family stood completely still letting Jason have his moment.

“I’m going to ask you one more time, where is she?” Jason questioned again with his modulated voice as he cocked the gun.

A low chuckle turned into a horrendous laugh as the joker raised his head and looked at Jason straight in the face.

“Oh that’s hilarious.” The joker said as he wiped tears out from under his eyes.

“What, what’s so funny?” Jason said as he lowered his guns and everyone could feel the glare he was giving the clown.

“Well here’s the situation little red riding hood, I don’t have her, she went bye bye.” He said as he did a wave and laughed some more.

“What did you do with her?” Bruce asked in his most menacing voice.

“Ohhhhh I didn’t do anything, last time I saw her she jumped off a cliff and you know the deal with those pesky heroes she probably lived but then again she could have died. I mean I would go for the latter, anyways in the end, who really cares?” He questioned in a fake voice with a large frown and a fake boohoo.

“JASON DON’T!” Dick yelled as he saw Jason put his finger on the trigger of his gun and aim at the jokers head.

“JASON IT’S NOT WHAT SHE WOULD HAVE WANTED, STOP IT!” Barbara yelled from where she and Damian both stood in rigid positions by the batmobile.

“Give me one good goddamn reason.” Jason said as he fixed a hard stare onto the clown prince of crime.

“Because she would have said no.” Bruce said as he put his famous glare on Jason.

Jason exhaled though his nose in frustration but reluctantly put his gun down and squeezed the handles of his bike instead.

After 30 minutes and the joker being placed back in Gotham all of the batfam returned to the manor to tell Alfred what happened and discuss what they have learned.

“If she’s alive, wouldn’t she have come home by now.” Alfred said looking around at the table, where they were all currently seated.

“No, not exactly.” Tim said as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Bullshit.” Jason said as he rested his jaw on his knuckles with his elbow on the table.

“Think about it, she kept this a secret from us for the entire time because she probably thought we would have hated her, especially you Jason. Now that her secret is out she is scared that if she comes home we’ll just reject her.” Bruce said standing up, avoiding Jason’s glance at him and walking around the table.

They were both thinking of the night when batman lost his Robin. How Jason prayed for Bruce to make it on time, how Bruce mourned after Jason died. Jason forgave him for that night, he would never admit to it, but he did. All because of a girl who opened his eyes.

“She thinks we hate her because her father is the joker, even though she has done so many good things to help us and make Gotham a better place.“ Dick said leaning back in his chair as a look of pure sadness and confusion crossed over his face.

“We don’t choose our family, we make them, assemble them piece by piece, we just need to make her understand that.” Jason said as he stood up and walked over to the bat computer.

“Well how do you want to do that?” Damian asked with a bored expression, even though they could all see the worry in his eyes.

He would never in a million years admit it but he had a soft spot for you and the way you always helped him when he was in distress. It didn’t matter if it was emotional or physical, you always managed to crack away his facade and see the true kid he was. He knew what it felt like to come from a evil family background and he wished he could have been there for you, the way you were there for him, in his moments of need.

“We have to draw her out someway, get her to come to us, she knows how we operate so she would know how to stay hidden, we can’t just try and find her.” Bruce said as he stood next to Jason at the computer and gripped his hand on the back of the chair.

They looked at the picture of you they had on the screen, to keep their spirits high as to not forget you, not like they would anyways.

“Guys what if she’s not hiding though, what if she didn’t make it?” Barbara questioned everyone as she played with her fingers and looked down at the table with bags under her eyes from countless night of looking for you.

“Well with what I’m planning to do we will get an answer either way.” Bruce said as he sat down at the computer and started typing away.

“What are you gonna do?” Jason questioned as he pinched the bridge of his nose, he looked absolutely exhausted and ready to punch someone, at the same exact time.

“I’m gonna make something happen so big she can’t resist but to come out of hiding and see us.” Bruce said in a dark tone with a frown as the rest of the kids just looked at each other and nodded with somber eyes.
———————————————————

@Elysianno part 4 COMING SOON
4


Words: 6,985
Sam x Reader
Warnings: language (Umm, ya, I wrote it so obviously there’s swearing… you should just take this warning as a given always for my fics), mentions of blood and injury, anxiety and fear
Summary: Sam tries to get to Y/N and wake her while Dean, Cas, and Crowley wait for their showdown with Rowena.
A/N: Alas, all good things must come to an end, and so it is with this story. I hope you enjoy reading this conclusion as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is the final part of our Mess Is Mine series.
This is part of a series! Read the other parts here! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16


Your name: submit What is this?

Dean was watching the flames and smoke rise higher and higher beyond the point where Sam had disappeared into the tangled mass of thorns. He paced in his fiftieth frantic circle and stopped in front of Cas.

”I don’t like this,” he said. His green eyes were wide and frantic, and his stomach was twisting.

The angel nodded. “I know. But give him time.”

”How much time?” Dean asked. “There’s no way for us to know if something goes wrong. We can’t see shit in there!” Dean turned again to face the crumbling, smoking ruins feeling helpless and sick.

Suddenly, Crowley’s voice behind them snapped their attention elsewhere.

”We’re about to be otherwise engaged,” he said. “Hello, Mother.”

The angel and Dean whipped around to see Rowena standing just beyond Crowley, a fierce and wild light in her eyes, her red lips pressed together in a thin line. “Fergus,” she said through her teeth. “Have you not yet learned your lesson about meddling in things that don’t concern you?”

“It’s not that I don’t learn,” Crowley said. “It’s just that the thought of torturing you forever and having you at my complete and utter mercy after your betrayal is much too appealing.” He raised a hand and pressed his middle finger and thumb together.

Keep reading

4

Cauliflower Crust Pizza!

- 1 head of cauliflower
- 1 egg
- ½ cup shredded cheese OR 1/3 cup goat cheese
- salt, oregano
- 1 teaspoon red wine vinegar (optional)

1. Rice the cauliflower using a blender/food processor or a cheese grater.
2. Boil about 1 inch of water in a pan and add in cauliflower and let it cook for 4 minutes.
3. Use a sieve to drain off excess water. Using a kitchen towel, wrap cauliflower tightly to wring out as much excess water as possible.
4. In medium bowl, add cauliflower, egg, cheese, and seasonings. (And red wine vinegar if using) Mix well.
5. Using parchment paper or a silicone baking mat, form the mix into your pizza crust. Try and keep the crust ½"-1" thick.
6. Bake at 400 degrees for 20-30 minutes or until crust is slightly browned. Remove crust, add toppings, then bake for additional 10-15 minutes.

I really enjoyed this recipe; the crust isn’t sturdy enough to pick up a slice, but the flavors and texture are nice. Grab a fork and dig in!